TRPG General Chat

@Tarmikos11 Luckily Fate is quite happy to accommodate giving the demons of one's past an attack roll, but DFAE in particular is focused on externalising demons.

(Also, for the playtest we've been specifically asked to use only the material in the playtest doc whenever possible.)

trogdor

are you expected to already give a report?

BESW

Not strictly, no. I have to give reports on at least three sessions over the two-month testing period.

trogdor

cause if your only problem is that you want to report how character generation went, it works a lot like normal Fae right now

the only big differences being that it has some pre-made mantles and weight classes for you to pick out too

BESW

1:45 AM

I could report on how the mantles influenced and defined the chargen experience: most of the characters had all their aspects derive directly (albeit creatively) from their mantles.

By contrast, most other Fate chargen experiences I've been in often have the "and now for something completely different!" phase informally tacked on at the end.

doppelgreener

@BESW if: yes; it's useful, even just to say "Things went smoothly and it was not that different to FAE creation."

user61230

Maybe it'd be a good idea to tack it onto another submission, though, perhaps as a side note.

user61230

Particularly if it went as one might expect.

doppelgreener

Daniel had trouble honing in on a mantle. He was kinda inclined to be a werewolf, lycanthrope, practitioner or... the... Tears one I can't remember the name of, with prophetic visions. (However I think he felt that with a psychometrist and mind magic practitioner present, he didn't see how he could be a strong contributor with prophecy.)

trogdor

yeah

I was a little scared of how un-useful my investigative stunt might be

then again

they will be missing sometimes

BESW

1:53 AM

It's a world where the primary way to hold your own against someone in a higher weight class is through figuring out their weaknesses. Your investigation stunt is going to save their butts by accessing info in ways that are not likely to come a cropper of the enemies' weight classes.

That's what weight class seems to boil down to, narratively: run away if you're unprepared, and otherwise prepare clever ways to bypass their weight class by leveraging your own.

Which means that weight class disparity in a group will mostly mean that some people have to run more often, and they'll need more time/effort to make up the difference in prep.

doppelgreener

@BESW suddenly, compensating lower weight classes in the same group with higher fate points / refresh makes sense

if they have a few extra fate points, that awards them with coincidental on-the-spot preparation, sort of

"you didn't prepare a bunch of aspects with free invocations on, but here, have some stuff to declare aspects and invoke things"

(they'll still probably have to run away, though, since only an insane quantity of fate points would probably compensate for the need to prepare a bunch of different advantages)

Huh. I suddenly thought of an aspect for Harold/Haikili that is above the usual power level for stunts, but just as a thought experiment:

Because I know this town like the back of my hand, each session I can place two free invocations on a situation aspect related to the town as I know it.

Or, declare a situation aspect with a couple of free invocations on it.

Though if each stunt roughly boils down to a +2 as a rule of thumb, this one boils down to a +4 or +6.

trogdor

2:17 AM

it might be legal if you only declared one free invoke

or that might be underpowered

not sure

doppelgreener

i think a standard stunt is declaring an aspect once per session (with no free invokes at all), but i'm not actually sure if that's sourced from the books or something we just came up with during the forest FAE campaign on here

trogdor

yeah, I dunno

I do know there is a second kind of stunt that basically lets you break the rules once per session in a specific way

doppelgreener

@trogdor yeah; those are on FAE p32. the examples seem to be about declaring aspects mainly!

but like, in a super useful way that fundamentally alters the scene.

trogdor

yeah

BESW

2:43 AM

The fundamental anatomy of stunt balancing: you get the equivalent of two shifts (+2 on a roll, declare a story detail, armor:2, weapon:2, add/remove a mild consequence, a free invoke, an automatic two-stress hit) either: once per session if you could do it almost any time during that session, or at-will if you can only use it in a particularly narrow context.

RobertF

3:14 AM

I'm finishing up the latest batch of fantasy/sci-fi novels on my short list (Mistborn, The Name of the Wind, Anathem, A Song of Ice & Fire) so will be making another run to the bookstore soon. Any recommendations for modern fantasy novels that have blown you away (in a good way)? I've read good/bad things about China Mieville. My friend swears that The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch is the best fantasy he's read in years, so may give that a go.

BESW

"Modern" meaning contemporary authors, or contemporary setting, or "modern" ethos?

RobertF

Sorry - let's say published in last 15 years since I'm a bit behind in my reading.

So modern as in contemporary authors.

BESW

Bujold's "Chalion" series; if you have to pick one, go with Paladin of Souls.

It's sci-fi rather than fantasy, but Metro 2033 (Dmitry Glukhovsky) is a great novel.

Ursula Vernon's graphic novel Digger is a must-read.

Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair is a clever, witty alternate universe story set in a world where literature is the dominant global pop culture. (You can read it alone, or as the first in a long and somewhat rambling series.)

RobertF

Great, thank you - looking up on Amazon right now.

BESW

Digger can be read for free online at diggercomic.com, but it's also available in doorstop form.

RobertF

3:25 AM

Heh, the premise of The Eyre Affair sounds almost too strange to be true - literature is the dominant global pop culture.

BESW

@RobertF They do Rocky Horror Picture Show style audience interaction with Richard III.

Audience: "When is the winter of our discontent?"
Richard: "*Now* is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York."

RobertF

lol

BESW

The main thrust of the plot is that a mad scientist has invented a device that lets characters come out of novels into the real world; so a villain uses it to steal Jane Eyre from the original manuscript of Jane Eyre, thereby removing her from every copy of the book in the world--and then holding her ransom.

(If you know Jane Eyre, you'll know it's narrated in the first person by Jane, so taking her out makes it go blank.)

RobertF

Very clever humor - I love it.

BESW

Metro 2033 is a post-apocalyptic version of the utopia travelogue genre: the survivors of a nuclear war live in the subway tunnels under Moscow, with each station a microcosm where people have embraced a different form of government and society. The main character is a young man who travels through the tunnels on a quest, learning about different ways of life and the extremes of each social structure. Also there are monsters.

There's a video game loosely inspired by it, but um--FPS shooters (barring BioShock) don't lend themselves to reflecting on the nature of civilisation and the role of government.

RobertF

3:34 AM

I've also come across reviews of fantasy fiction on Amazon that are so awful that I think people read the novel just to put up a 1 star review. "The Fifth Sorceress" by Robert Newcomb seems to be in that category. Awful writing + derivative cliched plot + misogynistic views of women.

BESW

If I wanted that, I'd read Piers Anthony so I could get lame reader-submitted jokes to round out the awful experience.

RobertF

You mean the awful puns?

BESW

Among other things, yes.

His non-Xanth novels had fewer reader-submitted elements (but not none, by a long shot) but were even worse in terms of writing and creepy attitudes towards women and kids.

RobertF

Metro 2033 looks really interesting. You just don't see a lot of translated sci-fi/fantasy at Barnes & Nobles that isn't from the UK or United States, except maybe Stanislaw Lem?

BESW

@RobertF It's not sf or fantasy, but you might like the Erast Fandorin novels by Boris Akunin. It's kind of an Imperial Russian Sherlock Holmes series, but with actual characterisation and coherent plot.

RobertF

3:39 AM

I read a Spell for Chameleon & the 2nd novel in the series a long time ago.

BESW

They're really popular in Russia--like, Harry Potter popular--and the translations are brilliant.

RobertF

My Dad has gotten into the popular detective novels written by what's his name - Swedish author.

BESW

Mankell's Wallander?

My mother reads a lot of "depressed Scandinavian detective" series.

It's apparently a thriving subgenre.

RobertF

Yes - is that the detective who suffers from Alzheimer's or am I thinking of the TV series?

Yes, very gloomy setting

BESW

That's Wallander, yeah.

Oh! It's not strictly fantasy, but it's swashbuckling: Zorro by Isabelle Allende. She often writes in Spanish, and then translates herself into English.

RobertF

3:46 AM

He's sort of an anti-Sherlock Holmes. He couldn't remember all of the details of the investigation.

BESW

Zorro is her version of the hero's origin story.

RobertF

Gets very good ratings

Who was the Argentinian writer (not contemporary) who wrote bizarre fantastical short stories about mazes and wizards. His name escapes me.

BESW

Jorge Luis Borges?

RobertF

Yes - that's him!

BESW

afk a bit, putting tea in my hair.

RobertF

3:56 AM

Sure - thanks for the suggestions.

Lord_Gareth

And now I note that when my avatar is to the right of @MadMAxJr's it looks like his cat just revealed an evil plot and Pinkie is distressed about it.

Tarmikos11

@Magician Oh hai.

Magician

Hello

Lord_Gareth

@Magician Hail unto thee etc so forth

Magician

@Lord_Gareth I've read your blog. So far, so good.

Lord_Gareth

4:08 AM

\o/

Any specific comments or improvements, or things I've done that I should continue to do?

RobertF

What is the blog?

Lord_Gareth

unendingraeg.tumblr.com

Magician

@Lord_Gareth Well, so far you're building a foundation, mostly. I'm looking forward to particular applications.

Lord_Gareth

@Magician ?

Magician

Like, I dunno, specific bits of design of popular games that are bad and should burn.

Not that I mean to impose any particular topics upon you.

Lord_Gareth

4:13 AM

Pfft, please, I'm taking suggestions

I've currently shied away from picking fights

Magician

As long as your arguments are backed up by data and don't turn into a fight for fight's sake, I don't see a problem. Critique is useful.

Lord_Gareth

The trouble is, what qualifies as data? How much explanation do I need for, "This is terrible design?"

Tarmikos11

Well, reading about your experience with D&D groups makes me feel compelled to apologize on behalf of the DM's who aren't sexist dicks. If you decide you wanna join a game I run, your Female Fighter can haul a Stone Golem into the sun if you get the rolls for it.

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 That was someone else's writing that LG reblogged

Tarmikos11

Oh.

Lord_Gareth

4:19 AM

I dodged that bullet by being raised in a group of reasonable human beings who were all post-30 married men with a deep and abiding respect and love for their wives

Tarmikos11

Well, Mr. @Lord_Gareth if you're still in contact with that person, tell them that I apologize on behalf of non-sexist DM's.

Lord_Gareth

And when I did the seven-year-old-boy thing and started making fun of girl NPCs one of them rerolled into a female drow fighter/rogue

[Got disabused fast]

BESW

I believe I've mentioned what happened in my first session when a player decided his PC was going to solicit a prostitute.

Tarmikos11

[Makes popcorn]

RobertF

I think the PC should gain XP the 1st time he visits a prostitute.

trogdor

4:22 AM

@BESW I was disgusted more by the fact that someone would do that than your response to it

Tarmikos11

@BESW I'm expecting a story at this point.

BESW

It was literally my first RPG session ever, and I was the GM. I really liked the idea of getting to role-play all the secondary characters, though. I saw a golden opportunity to do so.

So I flipped my hair, put on a sultry voice, batted my eyelashes at him, and flirted as hard as I could.

Lord_Gareth

@trogdor I had a paladin of Sune who regularly solicited prostitutes to help her with public works projects, paid them half-again their usual rate and then left 'em with a complimentary Cure Disease. Every so often she ended up smiting the living hell out of their pimps.

trogdor

@Lord_Gareth lol

Lord_Gareth

She was eventually known as Dame Mira the Night Queen

RobertF

4:24 AM

@BESW - and...

trogdor

@Lord_Gareth that is an an unfortunate name for a paladin

or at least I would think so

BESW

And he very quickly drew a veil over the scene. Lessons learned: some topics can be handled without being explicit; and don't do something silly if you're counting on BESW to not take it to its logical and serious conclusion.

Lord_Gareth

@trogdor On the one hand it might seem so. On the other hand, she would lead midnight marches at the head of great crowds to demand equal rights under the law and an end to the injustices that force people into poverty

RobertF

lol

trogdor

@Lord_Gareth fair enough

Lord_Gareth

4:26 AM

And frankly word got around in the adult entertainment industries. If she needed something from courtesans or dancers, she got it. End result made her seem like the literal Queen of the Whores.

(Her knightly order had no idea how to handle this)

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth In my campaign setting, the Gods are generally not concerned with matters of the Bedroom, so the Paladins of yore that were inclined to soliciting prostitutes were only held to the standard of A. Checking to make sure the prostitute they were soliciting is doing that type of work because they enjoy it, B. Making sure the prostitute enjoys the experience as much as the Paladin did, and C. Paying extra.

trogdor

@Lord_Gareth I would not know what to do either

Tarmikos11

Newer Paladins are held to slightly stricter standards, but it's still generally the same rules.

BESW

The only sex/gender based problem we ever ran into that couldn't be resolved by "Really? Think about that." was some player who honestly believed in The Game trying to ask a fellow gamer out.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 In one of its few actually-decent takes on alignment, the Book of Exalted Deeds placed the only concern Good had with sex being that both parties were engaging in a relationship of mutual respect, whether it was a one-night stand or marriage.

Tarmikos11

4:28 AM

@Lord_Gareth That's pretty much the rules for Paladins in my world, mostly based on my own views of such professions.

@Lord_Gareth That being.. Y'know, willing trade of Sex for money. Willing being the key word.

Lord_Gareth

Well, the question becomes whether a business transaction can actually be a relationship of mutual respect.

RobertF

What benefits could a PC gain from visiting a prostitute in a game? A stats bonus of some kind? Maybe if the character has been out dungeon crawling for weeks.

trogdor

@Lord_Gareth I think that depends on how well said people know each other

and each others business practices

Lord_Gareth

@RobertF Is this a question of theoretical homebrewing or of existing mechanical incentive?

trogdor

regardless of what each individuals business actually is

Tarmikos11

4:31 AM

@RobertF Minor increase to different things based on the intended acts. A massage helps healing rates, more adult activities can give a temporary will save boost based on relief of stress.

trogdor

though what your business is might factor in, of course

Tarmikos11

@RobertF I'd mention this early on in the campaign, but I figure that'd open floodgates, so I'll mention that if it comes up.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW, any insight?

BESW

[bemused] Sex, by itself and contextless, probably has no mechanical impact except maybe being a little tired. As a story element--whatever makes sense in the narrative, if anything: probably usually a story detail rather than a mechanical effect.

RobertF

@Tarmikos11 - That makes sense. There might be a risk of catching an STD.

Tarmikos11

4:32 AM

@RobertF I'm more worried about the players spending all their time in the local Brothel trying to gain stat boosts.

BESW

Mmm. Don't commoditise sex.

Tarmikos11

I figure I'll apply those benefits in secret.

Lord_Gareth

I was also looking for your insight on if paying for sex - even if both parties are willing and not forced into the trade by circumstance or poverty - can actually be a relationship of mutual respect

doppelgreener

"Ok, I got 200gp from that guard. So... now I can get 2 potions of healing, and sleep with someone for that +2 con boost. Awesome!"

BESW

Don't turn it into a Grand Theft Auto thing; the meaning of sex is in with whom and how and why you have it, rather than in the act itself.

doppelgreener

4:34 AM

Probably just treat it with gravitas in roleplaying, and leave the social/mental/emotional implications to a game that can actually do any justice to that stuff.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth As long as both parties are honest in their ends of the bargain, I see it as a mutual respect.

BESW

@Lord_Gareth I don't think that's something I'm capable of exploring properly in this context and venue.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW B/C you'd need to speak in R-rated terms?

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth A thing I forgot to mention was that if a Paladin or Cleric of the Good Gods does pay for services at a Brothel, they basically swear themselves to standing up for that particular brothel in the event of some evil befalling it.

Especially if they become a regular customer.

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 I'm not sure that follows, much the same as you have no responsibility over a shop getting raided after you buy your armor from it.

BESW

4:37 AM

@Lord_Gareth No, because it'd require me to provide a heckuvalotta context for my personal beliefs and opinions regarding the human identity and purpose, sexuality, sexual politics, the spiritual nature and implications of sexual relationships...

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 That seems oddly specific. Are they making that oath if they pay for services at a bar or inn, or if they visit a smith? If you're treating this as a transaction, why is it different from other transactions?

I mean, I'm down with the idea that paladins are expected to defend the hospitality of their hosts

RobertF

Hmm, if playing an rpg where players obtain flaws by "buying" more feats, sex or general carousing might be necessary for a "Sex Addiction" flaw. But don't know if such a flaw actually exists in any rpg.

Lord_Gareth

If you're at the brothel and someone kicks the door in, your obligation as an honorable guest is to defend it

BESW

...and it's not something I can really pare down into a pithy statement.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth Because the service offered is more intimate.

Lord_Gareth

4:38 AM

But that'd be the same at a bar, or inn

Or in fact any place in which you are a guest and your host's hospitality is defiled and threatened

doppelgreener

Or a massage parlour, or some medical attention

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth Though, in all reality, any servant of the Good Gods would be expected to stand up for any location that they happened to be near that was under threat.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 This being my general point.

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 That is his po-- yes.

Lord_Gareth

If your gods don't care about sex, having special rules just for brothels is pretty silly

Tarmikos11

4:40 AM

@Lord_Gareth Fair enough, I guess.

Glad I hadn't made that rule official in my Game.

Lord_Gareth

On the other hand, religions with expectations about hospitality are definitely a thing

And Earth has a great wealth of such traditions for you to mine

Tarmikos11

I might make that a general response to hospitality being offered.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 Make it an expectation of lawful people. Hospitality is a very lawful kind of idea.

BESW

@Lord_Gareth This is, at the end of the day, the problem: it's one of those places where D&D radically deviates from mundane reality, with widespread implications rippling across its social structure.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth I'm really glad I have this chunk of community to run ideas by.

BESW

4:42 AM

Any time you start getting near questions of faith and religion in D&D, real-world parallels crack and shatter.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW It's almost like we're dealing with settings that aren't dominated by monotheistic religions that all spawned from the same wretched death-pit

OH WAIT

BESW

That's not what I mean at all.

Lord_Gareth

(Man Earth is messed up)

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth RIGHT?!

BESW

What's the line from Constantine? "You don't have faith, John: you know."

Tarmikos11

4:45 AM

@BESW That's a thing I personally enjoy about D&D. It's possible to get confirmation of your Deity's divinity.

@BESW You don't have to just guess with your character's choice in gods in... Most P&PRPG's.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 It's also possible to get confirmation that they're just super-powerful Outsiders with a special template.

Gods in D&D are only special in the sense that they have common traits that non-gods often, but do not always lack

BESW

Objectively provable gods, the ability to interview someone who's been to Hell, and all the other "metaphor made literal" elements of the D&D world, absolutely trash most any attempt to draw psychosocial parallels with real-world faiths or spiritual systems of any kind.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth That's true, but at that point, the line kinda blurs.

BESW

And since our entire social history as a people--like it or not--is built in the context of faith in the unprovable (whether as a confirmation of it or retaliation against it), we quickly fail to be able to make the most basic assumptions about D&D civilisation or psychology.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth The way that one character of mine views things, as long as they're willing to toss a bit of good mojo his way when he needs it, he doesn't care.

@BESW That's a true thing, but there's lots of information given about that in the campaign settings.

Lord_Gareth

4:49 AM

@Tarmikos11 The thing is, those campaign settings are mostly written by idiots.

Tarmikos11

Fact.

Lord_Gareth

Of them, three treat faith 'appropriately' for the given information.

BESW

It is, in my opinion, far more drastic and widespread a change to the landscape than, say, the elven long lifespan thing. Folks keep harping on how people who live a thousand years must have a totally different way of looking at the world, but this "proven faith" thing seems MUCH deeper and wider but is far more ignored by both developers and players.

Lord_Gareth

Eberron lacks objectively provable gods, so it treating faith like IRL does makes sense

Planescape has this problem where everyone expected gods but when you show up at their door step the gods are not there

And there's some serious wars over this

Of the kind that have ended worlds

BESW

Ghostwalk comes to mind....

Lord_Gareth

4:50 AM

And Ravenloft is severely god-impaired, with the Dark Powers taking advantage of the faithful to corrupt and destroy them

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth One thing I feel like I've done wrong is that I treat Gods more like Generals of Armies than.. Well.. Gods.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 Acheron, where they literally do this, says hi

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 In a world where they genuinely exist that sounds pretty appropriate actually

BESW

And don't get me started about how D&D tries to mix pantheon aesthetic with monotheistic ethos.

Lord_Gareth

Also Hell

Also the Abyss

Actually just about any non-good plane

Plus Ysgard because war is recreation there

Tarmikos11

4:52 AM

@doppelgreener @Lord_Gareth I'm personally of the sort who needs to see proof of something to believe it, so I figured it'd be better to respect the possibility of other players sharing this opinion by making Gods a physical entity.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 While I understand and even agree, this is pretty much the exact opposite of the fundamental trait that defines real-world religion.

This being @BESW's general point

D&D religion lacks faith

BESW

I had a player in D&D 3.5 who wanted to run a PC who had divine visions which may or may not have been genuine inspiration, or just epileptic seizures. We were almost literally unable to make it ambiguous within that setting and system.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth I'd argue that it takes a bit of faith still, in that your character has to have faith that, even if they've personally seen their god, they'll be able to offer you assistance when you need it.

BESW

@Tarmikos11 That's not faith, at least not in the religious context. That's trust.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW Precisely.

doppelgreener

4:54 AM

@Tarmikos11 Do you need to see the Prince of Bhutan to believe he exists?

BESW

You know your D&D god is able to offer you that assistance; he's done it before, or at least you've seen him do it for others.

Tarmikos11

@doppelgreener Assuming Bhutan (My knowledge of Geography is lacking) is a real place, then no, because there is evidence out there which proves that he exists.

BESW

All you need is to trust he'll do it for you when you need it.

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 Yet you haven't seen a shred of it. You can just take my word for it because, well, it sounds reasonable enough. That place exists, it has a prince. China has a prime minister. Various South American countries have presidents or other leaders.

BESW

It's rather like trusting your friend will pick you up in his car when he promised to.

doppelgreener

4:56 AM

Likewise, there are gods, they really exist, this is not a surprising or strange thing to people and you might wonder about the details but it's probably not surprising or unusual.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW You also need to trust that he's not doing something else of vital importance that has his attention elsewhere. Pelor can want to help you all he wants but if he's in death combat with Orcus your mortal ass is gonna have to wait.

Tarmikos11

On account of the fact that I actually went and looked up the Prince of Bhutan, (His name is Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck, by the way) the point remains that I can find proof that he exists.

As it stands, I have yet to find proof that proves to me the existence of Deities.

doppelgreener

@Tarmikos11 Right. So, let's take a step back 20 years when there wasn't the internet. Or let's sit down at a campfire whilst we're camping out on holiday with no electronics for a couple of days for fun. I tell you there's a President of Brazil. This doesn't sound absurd. You can probably take my word for it that it's probably the case, unless I'm a completely unreliable source of information.

@Tarmikos11 We are talking about ingame deities in D&D, right?

Tarmikos11

@doppelgreener I'm more going into real life here, but to bring it back to the topic at hand, the ability to find proof of the existence of the in game deities isn't in question. If you come across a Cleric at some point, and you happen to see them channeling energy in their God's name, then you have some measure of proof that AT LEAST that God exists.

Lord_Gareth

@Tarmikos11 Which Planescape puts back into doubt but I digress at that point.

Tarmikos11

5:01 AM

@doppelgreener As for the campfire example, after we're done camping 20 years in the past (Weird camping trip, on account of me not even being an idea then) I can still go to the Library once we're done on the camping trip, and find a book about Brazil's leadership and figure out whether or not there is a President of Brazil.

doppelgreener

yes

Tarmikos11

I have come to the point where I hold evidence to a high standard.

doppelgreener

so we're theoretically talking about settings where deities are real people who really existed with recorded presence in the world who have done things here, and are as believable as the records about various members of various wars in the centuries past

Tarmikos11

@doppelgreener Of course.

doppelgreener

i'm gonna watch doctor who because i've lost track of where this conversation will be productive

Tarmikos11

5:04 AM

Go for it. I think we were kinda just running like chickens with our heads cut off with the topic.

doppelgreener

yes haha

that's why i feel like that

BESW

On a total topic change, tea is an awesome conditioner.

Oh, tea, where were you when I had hair past my shoulders?

Ethereal

tea and lemonade

Tarmikos11

@BESW At the Grocery Store.

BESW

@Ethereal Eh, adding lemon makes it into a mild bleaching agent.

Lord_Gareth

5:09 AM

@BESW Trapped within my prison of darkness, awaiting the great and terrible heroes of Britain to rescue it from my clutches.

You may thank Pratchett for saving your tea

Ethereal

sounds like the solution to whiter teeth!

Tarmikos11

@Ethereal Lemon Juice and Baking soda.

BESW

@Lord_Gareth Bah, Pratchett is merely a clever construct summoned by the witchcraft of Alan Moore in a ritual powered by burning the only existing copies of lost Doctor Who episodes.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW Not sure if joke or if insulting Sir Professor Terry Pratchett, may resort to termination in case of latter.

Ethereal

@Tarmikos11 send that off in an email to the brits

BESW

5:12 AM

Hey, he's powered by the collected despair of the Doctor Who fandom, I think you'll count that as a win.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW I'm pretty sure he's a fan :p

BESW

He's experienced The Daleks' Master Plan; how could he not be a fan? This is what drives him: the terrible knowledge of just how good the episodes which were destroyed in his creation actually were.

(Also fear of Alan Moore, but I think at least a quarter of Britain is driven by that.)

Tarmikos11

@Ethereal Yeah, sure. I'll just throw that email to ALL OF THE BRITS.

Lord_Gareth

@BESW I'm pretty sure even Alan Moore is driven by that. I love him dearly but that man is terrifying.

Ethereal

@Tarmikos11 look at that, Tarmikos, breaking stereotypes one country at a time. :D

Tarmikos11

5:17 AM

Speaking of Stereotypes, I should send the hispanic population of my state a memo regarding bathing, because I passed by two members of that population a night or two ago, and they LITERALLY smelled like tacos.

Not even trying to be racist here, they smelled like Taco Bell.

Ethereal

I'm doubtful that they ALL have email addresses, so you might have a bit of a time getting that message out.

Tarmikos11

Plus I don't know Spanish.

Lord_Gareth

►

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth .... God Damnit, now I'm gunna be listening to these guys for the next week.

Ethereal

that's impressive, never heard of Tally hall before

Lord_Gareth

5:22 AM

@Tarmikos11 Never underestimate the depths of my evil.

Tarmikos11

@Lord_Gareth I'm already worried about what type of hell I might catch in a campaign you run.

[coughs and gestures to my comment about wanting to play a campaign you run]

[continues coughing 'til I pass out, because smoking]

.. Did I accidentally star my own post?

BESW

Shouldn't be able to.

Only room owners and moderators can self-star, and that's only by pinning.

Tarmikos11

Oh, good stuff. I'd feel like a douche if I did.

Then again, I get the same feeling when I drive through yellow lights.

BESW

Okay, so I turned off my Twitter feed last night before our RPG session and just turned it on now. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly is hilarious.

Real estate broker does not get along with client. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/-650388f4-cf5d-4f2a-a0d6-707405a0d30c.jpeg?width=500&height=350

Tweeted by KyleKallgren on September 6, 2014 at 6:45 AM

@KyleKallgren Dude takes horoscope too seriously. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly http://t.co/BT4WFKrVxz

Tweeted by UniverseMan on September 6, 2014 at 6:47 AM

Lord_Gareth

@BESW A friend of mine was challenged to describe the plot of Star Wars Episode IV in the most boring single sentence possible

"A teen and his neighbor take up his sudden inheritance with the government."

Tarmikos11

5:29 AM

[Laughing until coughing once more]

I think I need to see a doctor, or quit smoking. One of the two.

1950's Logic: Well, I just coughed up blood, and all I've done the last two days is eat, drink water, mow the lawn and smoke... It's probably mowing the lawn that did it.

BESW

Wizard of Oz remake misses the point entirely. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly http://www.danvelazquez.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/zardoz.jpg

Tweeted by KyleKallgren on September 6, 2014 at 7:20 AM

Tarmikos11

Cont.: HONEY! 'Til Jimmy that he's mowing the lawn from now on!

BESW

.@KyleKallgren Zardoz remake misses the point entirely. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly http://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/movie/movie_poster/the-book-of-eli-2010/large_qL3FnEug9DyBcaBXVb0oT3DJMJu.jpg

Tweeted by UselessMoron on September 6, 2014 at 7:22 AM in reply to KyleKallgren

Oh, man:

@KyleKallgren #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly Accomplished industrialist battles Dissociative Identity Disorder. http://t.co/UPamyjlOVl

Tweeted by koujabber on September 6, 2014 at 7:20 AM in reply to KyleKallgren

Tarmikos11

These give me VERY vague ideas about what movie is being described. I think they're describing the plots too well.

BESW

Eh, it doesn't have to be opaque, just poor.

IE, missing the point rather than obscuring the point.

Tarmikos11

5:34 AM

Not making any progress on understanding the last one, but the second one you shared is kinda obvious.

WADDUP @IceBoy?!

Ice Boy

Yo

Lord_Gareth

Explaining videogame plots in one boring sentence

Bioshock Infinite: "A man runs into legal trouble while picking a girl up from church."

Tarmikos11

Kingdom Hearts: "A kid wanders with his friends and finds some key chains."

Ice Boy

Yo V.I.P let's kick it :D

Tarmikos11

Minecraft: "A guy builds a house."

Ice Boy

5:37 AM

Hi Tarmikos11

Tarmikos11

Hello.

Don't think I've seen you here before, so I'll go ahead and say "Welcome to the Chat, don't let the name fool you, we don't talk about anything relevant to anything here."

BESW

Riven: Tropical island dictatorship overthrown by tourist who doesn't speak the language.

trogdor

XD

BESW

@IceBoy In all seriousness, hi, and if you have something on topic you'd like to talk about we'll be happy to switch to that.

Tarmikos11

Farcry 3: ... Tropical Island Dictatorship Overthrown by tourist who doesn't speak the language.

Ice Boy

5:40 AM

Thanks @BESW :-)

Lord_Gareth

Portal: Research into improving public transportation proves difficult.

Tarmikos11

Fallout 3: A fresh adult finds out about the struggles of making it on their own in the outside world.

Lord_Gareth

Skyrim: A serial killer has shockingly good publicity.

Tarmikos11

Fallout: New Vegas: A courier has difficulty completing his delivery.

BESW

Dear Esther: New England hiker discovers island cave system.

Lord_Gareth

5:42 AM

@Tarmikos11 Excuse me while I emerge from my phylactery, as I have died of laughter

3

trogdor

Xcom: Earth turns out to have the worst tourism in the galaxy.

Tarmikos11

Crash Bandicoot Series: A nondescript mammal gets put through a long series of tests.

Tony Hawk Games: A guy who refuses to grow up tries to make a living by playing.

Ethereal

In pathfinder: are outer dragons just "space dragons"? imagining a dragon in one of those bubble space helmets and giggling to myself more then i really should

Tarmikos11

@Ethereal They breath Space Dust.

BESW

Arkham Asylum: A drug dealer fails to keep out of his own stockpile.

trogdor

5:52 AM

lol

that part ruined the game a bit

Miniman

Posting so the 'load to my last message' button will work properly later

Ethereal

@Tarmikos11 that's just weird, a dragon huffing on a paper bag filled with "Dust" occasionally scratching at his neck

Tarmikos11

I was gunna make a joke about them being drug addicted prostitutes, but I couldn't think of a way to phrase that exchange without possibly offending someone.

Lord_Gareth

Kingdoms of Amalur - An amnesia victim travels the world looking for answers about her past.

Ethereal

now I want to draw a picture of a space dragon begging a beholder pimp for a bag of space dust

Lord_Gareth

5:58 AM

Tomb Raider - An archaeologist has her career complicated by professional rivalries.

Incidentally, has anyone noticed that no matter how many people Shepard has serving with her in the Mass Effect series she only ever takes 3-person squads? Like, regardless of enemy numbers, positioning, anything.

And I think, in 1, that no one knew yet so they didn't say anything.

In 2 Cerberus knew but didn't care since they felt Shep could get the job done

And the in 3 I think Hackett observed her record from 1 and 2 and just went, "I realize this is completely stupid and insane, but for some reason it makes her operate better."

"I'm just gonna let it slide until it stops working."

trogdor

lol

I ususally think of shepard as a guy

Lord_Gareth

Redhead Fem!shep is canon

Also the male voice actor needs to be punched in the face

trogdor

cause I really liked a particular face the guy version had bald

BESW

Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis: Vandal obstructs scientist's search for god.

Lord_Gareth

Assassin's Creed: A disgraced student works to earn his teacher's approval

BESW

6:07 AM

QWOP: Disabled athlete achieves personal best.

trogdor

oh jeez

BESW

Myst: Home invasion leads to filicide.

Myst III Exile: Home invasion leads to joyous family reunion.

user61230

Can I bookmark this?

Lord_Gareth

No idea

BESW

@Emrakul Down arrow on the left side of every line in chat has a "permalink" option.

user61230

6:22 AM

Coolio, done.

user61230

Just wondering if anyone minded.

user61230

What are bookmarks for here?

BESW

Not sure what you mean.

user61230

BESW

Oh, saving a conversation.

Conversations are usually made for stuff people want to be able to refer back to, often because it's easier to link to than repeating it every time it comes up.

Lord_Gareth

6:29 AM

The following link contains NSFW language: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson

user61230

The following link is hilarious, random, and utterly pointless: youtube.com/watch?v=6ITD1tqXDII

BESW

@Emrakul ....is that a Curry loaf?