2020 Parenting Moderator Election Chat

anongoodnurse

15:38

@SomeShinyObject Your post is quite moving. It is kind and brave of you to share.

@EngrStudent - I think parenting styles and moderation may be connected (if you are an authoritarian parent, maybe you'll be an authoritarian moderator), but success as a parent has nothing to do with moderation. That's a loaded question, and it's asking more than people need to offer to justify their running for moderator.

Furthermore, there are three moderators. Following your reasoning, maybe the better question is, "how well do you function in groups?" Individual parenting success/failure (which is a bifurcation) is greatly modified by the behavior of other mods, and especially the community's standards.

I would encourage you not ask such personal questions, as candidates feel pressure to answer in an election chat room, and asking questions here that you would not dream of asking strangers in other situations is... inappropriate?lacking in empathy?disrespectful? I can't seem to find the exact word I need.

Running for moderator is running for a service to a community. That is what should be the focus for questions.

Regardless of @SomeShinyObject's touching and honest response, I can tell you that all three individuals here would make excellent moderators, not because they're good parents (I don't have a lot of info on that), but because over the years, they have been kind and helpful in their comments to users, are respectful of others (as seen in chat and comments), and have a lot of common sense as shown in their answers over the years.

@SomeShinyObject - I think we have chatted about parenting "successes" and "failures" before. I am in your camp; more than a full decade after my children have reached adulthood (I'm defining this as finishing university), I still wonder about some of the things I've done as a parent. :-/

It just occurred to me that I'm still moderating, lol!

Rory Alsop

16:07

@anongoodnurse That is still something a lot of folks don't seem to see - the value of community moderation. I notice it most comparing the mature sites I moderate with some of the tiny ones that are still struggling to grow - a key indicator of a succeful site in my opinion, is that the community really do handle almost everything

And moderators get a more challenging load. It may be smaller, but it is what the community cannot handle, so by its nature can be stressful, hard work, more obvious etc

anongoodnurse

@RoryAlsop Yes, they should. Our community is not quite active enough.

@RoryAlsop Exactly.

I am feeling that as a user in trying to delete a question that I think should not be here. I don't have a hammer, and it's taking a while to get it off the face of the site. :)

Rory Alsop

@anongoodnurse Hahaha - yes. I'm pretty active on Mechanics and Space Exploration, and I keep trying to do things there that I just can't ... so I raise a flag or vote :-)

You miss it when it isn't there

anongoodnurse

Lol, I am right there as well.

I try to look for information or tools that I no longer have access to. It's funny.

I do have a question for the nominees: have you earned the sportsmanship badge (on this or any other site)?

Rory Alsop

@anongoodnurse Good question - lemme go check :-)

anongoodnurse

Lest it be perceived as intrusive, it just indicates (to my mind) how much one values answers that contribute to the site vs. (something else: competitiveness? valuing points? I think it's more than one thing.)

Rory Alsop

16:19

@anongoodnurse Looks like I have on at least my top 8 sites :-)

anongoodnurse

@RoryAlsop lol, not a surprise! Thanks for looking. :)

Rory Alsop

16:37

I'm now thinking there must be a clever script to search your site profiles for badges

EngrStudent

@anongoodnurse - I am not trying to pressure anyone. I think that by engaging and answering they are .. engaging and answering, which is what I would like to see in a moderator.

@anongoodnurse - I felt previously like parenting wasn't safe for me. I haven't engaged or contributed for a while. My last answer was in 2015.

Stephie

@RoryAlsop Ha! And when a flag ages away because it wasn’t handled in a timely manner... I confess I have even contacted a CM in such a (repeat) case.

Rory Alsop

@Stephie yes! That one can be so frustrating

Stephie

@anongoodnurse on Seasoned Advice.

@RoryAlsop Check data explorer?

Rory Alsop

@Stephie I did a quick search but didn't see one. (and I'm not brilliant at creating the scripts)

Stephie

16:53

Me neither. At least not at a glance.

anongoodnurse

17:09

@EngrStudent May I point out that your claiming not to be intrusive does not mean that you are, indeed, not being intrusive? I think your question is highly intrusive (which does not mean that it is), and I'm saying so. I guess we disagree.

@EngrStudent That does not give you the right to ask such deeply personal questions of people. Your staying away is your choice.

For example, @RoryAlsop moderates (and is an expert in) online security. That does not give me the right to ask what securities he has in place on his data at home and at work.

I get that people sometimes feel unsafe on sites, but that is not always a product of moderation. If you like, we can continue this in The Playground (regular site chat room.)

EngrStudent

@anongoodnurse - Humans judge themselves by their actions and others by their intentions. I guess it's because we have limited objective access to the intentions of others.

anongoodnurse

"Humans judge themselves by their actions and others by their intentions"

EngrStudent

goodreads.com/quotes/…

anongoodnurse

I don't really understand this, and if you'd like to explain this to me in The Playground, I'd like to know more.

EngrStudent

I don't understand chats. I don't know what value comes from changing "rooms".

anongoodnurse

17:18

This is a personal issue, not an election issue.

Which means, we should change to a different chat, one that's more accommodating to personal exchange.

EngrStudent

I have no issue. The folks I asked answered my question by engaging genuinely.

Stephie

I have two children. Their age and gender is something I talk about. Their names or photos are nothing I will ever disclose without their explicit consent. I have talked about the fact that minor 1 is gifted (yes, tested and all that), especially in the context of questions on that topic - it does come with side effects.
I have talked about my values in parenting (e.g. how important it is in my opinion to step back and let children do their thing, helping where necessary, but not taking the problems out of their hands). I struggle with the question about “how successful“ I (or rather, *we* …

@EngrStudent If you want to judge based on a candidate’s behavior on the site, I recommend you start at the nomination post. From there, you can jump to the profile - go through the tabs, for example you can find all comments, which should help to get an idea of their usual tone and attitude.

Parenting Meta contributions show how much a candidate engages in topics beyond asking and answering, like shaping a site’s policy. Hint: small sites have often comparatively „quiet“ Meta - but you can research other accounts of a candidate. And then there’s Meta, of course.

What you won’t be able to access is what a candidate that already has a mod diamond contributed in the mod-only areas of the network. But that’s usually comparable to what happens in the public areas.

EngrStudent

17:39

Is star equivalent to up-vote?

Stephie

Here in chat? No. A star pins the post.

It is sometimes used a bit like an upvote, but each chat is different. Starring may mean agreement, or something akin to “you others have to see this”, especially in very active chats, where the conventions of just one day may fill multiple pages.
The hollow stars mean a post was started by a mod (or in this case, a Stack Exchange representative) in a specific way, so that they are visible at the top of the list.

anongoodnurse

@EngrStudent Isn't it the other way around?

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviour.”

Rory Alsop

17:56

@anongoodnurse yes, that sounds right

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2020 Parenting Moderator Election Chat