@Stephie - No, I'm not going to run. I feel as if I've left my foot print (some would say boot print) on the site. It's time for other moderators to pick up the baton. :-)

@EngrStudent I think your question is interesting, but ultimately it doesn't matter as much as how we moderate. As a mod team up to now, it hasn't mattered if we are atheist, Christian, whatever, as regards how we moderate. It may be relevant as to posting answers

@anongoodnurse It is still nice seeing your answers - and I hope with all the positive activity going on, we can continue to improve things

I was thinking of this as an analog to “who would I let babysit my kids?”. There are county requirements for the care of my foster to adopt daughter. They want an adult, but not just any adult. Safety, wisdom, and engagement are all things they want there.

As parents we are given the incredibly vague and incredibly important task of “raising our children to be contributing members of society” and “raising our children To be successful persons”. Aren’t those fraught goals?

@EngrStudent I think learning who the candidate is as a person and parent is interesting. It can say something about how they may approach moderation with a diamond. But ultimately, the qualities of a good moderator are different from what makes a good (in the sense of posting upvote-worthy content) user.

The interesting bit in my opinion is how candidates use the moderation privileges they have already reached. Or don’t use, respectively.

But hey - what do you want to know?

@EngrStudent Success is ... very subjective. The success I have is not necessarily that which my son wants, and my daughters also want different things. So my aim is to help them be as prepared for whatever they decide to do as I can. So far so good.

@RoryAlsop - Fraught. I suspect every human wrestles for their entire life with “successful person “. It is big, and complicated. It is probably a bigger thing than Any individual is. Around 10,000 years ago we were still fighting this battle, and there is no “winner” yet. I personally think that victory is not the Destiination, but the process.

@Stephie - I don’t know that the two are separable. It’s a western idea that we are connected compartments. The eastern ideas that we are holistic beings, and every part touches every other part; every big thing shows itself everywhere in little and big ways. That’s just me disagreeing with the philosophy. I like that you were engaging on this and you are thinking on it.

@EngrStudent not sure we are disagreeing - you could also see it as facets that are more or less prominent. I was merely noting (also for future readers in the next days) that there is a difference. Probably less pronounced here than on technical sites.

And I have met high-rep users that deliberately didn’t run for moderator, because staying a “regular user” allowed them more freedom. No diamond putting every action and comment under a metaphorical magnifying lens, less self-control required when speaking up and the liberty to contribute just when a post sparks their interest and to stay away without worrying about others.

@Stephie - I think you just gave me the biggest incentive I’ve ever heard to not become a moderator. :)

Just being honest. Some may think being a mod is just cool (don’t get me wrong, it is), but forget the limitations and side effects. I was well aware of it before I nominated myself for my first moderator position. No regrets so far.

:)

@EngrStudent, Your question on Stephie's post is really interesting and I believe warranted. In my opinion, it'd be hard for a non-parent to moderate Parenting.SE. How one is as a parent, and more specifically, how one sees themselves as a parent may play an important role for their empathy of other parents coming here seeking help. If you don't mind, I'm going to answer your question.

@EngrStudent this was a loaded question and perhaps I'm oversharing but here is my answer

Most days? I feel like a crappy parent. I have 5 kids, two of them I don't see frequently because they live with their mom due to divorce rules in Japan where custody typically goes to the mother. No concept of split-custody either. I wrestle daily with whether leaving was the right thing just to ensure being around them.

In another realm, I feel like a crappy parent because I have remarried, and we have three kids together. Some days I come home from work just absolutely beat and have little to no patience and I just want to get them into bed and out of my hair so I can have some quiet time.

This is my self-ideal, the image I have propped up in my mind that every day I will be the absolute BEST parent that I can possibly be, rolling around on the floor, playing, going outside on long walks, and eating ice cream in our PJs before bed. That, however, is unsustainable. We all know it. I know it, but for some reason when I fall short, that weighs on me more than any other thing.

However...all those problems, all those insecurities of my self as a parent melt away when I call my kids who I don't live with and at the end of the phone call I say "I love you guys" and they respond with the absolute cutest "I LOVE YOU TOO DADDY!" That makes it all the better.

My kids listen to me. They want to spend time with me. They're excited to see me when I'm around (usually). I take interest in what they're doing and lead and encourage to develop those interests more. They cry and I hold them. They complain and I listen. The school age one does his homework faithfully, takes care of his 2 year old brother and distracts him and plays with him when my wife and I can't. Gets him dressed after his shower.

If the actions of my children are a reflection of my wife and my parenting, I'd say we are on the right track.