I am reading The Moon and Sixpence by Somerset Maugham and am finding it difficult to understand the meaning of this highlighted phrase. It would be great if anyone can help me with the interpretation of this paragraph.

In Judged by Ziyad Marar, the author was discussing why it's harder for women to be both nice and in control, the twin pillars of good reputaion: It turns out that while the blend of being nice and control is in tension for most people, and hard for anyone to achieve that intersection in the Ven...