"But if you refuse, you can't be forced to dance. It won't look good for you" is the part that I'm really worried about. But "If" I have no other choices, " I think you should do something quick, just get it over and put it behind you." will be my last resort. Thank you!

"I think you should do something quick, just get it over and put it behind you." - so wrong, in so many ways, and so totally lacking in understanding. You may not be an introvert, but are you totally lacking in empathy?

@MawgsaysreinstateMonica You do realize that there is around 10 working days until the year end? So around the same amount of time till the party. Which means that doing it quick won't leave a bad taste and no one would be suprised by the last minute notice. And the closer to the party the more HR will assume OP will perform. Just because they are not vocalising any issues with the idea.

@MawgsaysreinstateMonica I disagree. I absolutely detest being forced to do/perform certain things, but found that if I do, even badly, people do appreciate it, especially if they know I didn't want to do it in the first place. There are enough situations where one is compelled to go against the collective for one's own reasons, but this one is most certainly not a hill worth dying upon.

@MawgsaysreinstateMonica few things in life are fun and some days avoiding the tough things in life leads to a host of even more unwanted consequences. Gritting your teeth and getting on with it is often the best option.

I am a person, not a performing monkey. A request of this fashion would be unacceptable to me under any circumstances and I'd be more than glad to leave a company that looked down on me for refusing to participate.

He shouldn't do anything. He doesn't want to dance in front of a crowd, so he shouldn't do it. People shouldn't be forced to do non-work related stuff just to please our corporate overlords with their "fun" company culture.

@MawgsaysreinstateMonica HR: "We understand and empathise with you. Now go and do what's expected from you."

I don't know for the philippines but there's several countries where it could be considered as bullying. Now I personnally would raise a fuss about it, and would go through it and try to have fun with it. But I think it's totally reasonable for someone to not want to be force to dance/sing/perform in front of a crowd.

@MLu It seems a lot of people don't take this seriously. It is serious. This would make me consider quitting, if I were being forced into a similar situation. That's how serious it can be. And calling people 'precious snowflakes' over this is completely out of line!

Don't agree with this one.

@CaptainEmacs So what if they appreciate it? What about appreciating the fact that some people would be extremely uncomfortable and stressed out about doing it? It seems weird to suggest that making someone very uncomfortable is worth it just to amuse everyone else.

@JMac That's quite a loaded comment based on assumption that it's "just to amuse everyone else". Doing a small performance is something any adult should be able to do, it's not, say, sequencing human genome, or perfectly singing an aria from classical opera. If someone has a medical condition preventing such task, I can virtually assure you that once a doctors note about it is presented, the matter will be dropped.

@TymoteuszPaul What is it's purpose? OP doesn't want to do it, but others want OP to do it even though OP is not comfortable with it. What benefit does doing it provide the employees besides to entertain them?

@TymoteuszPaul unless OP Is employed by a dance studio or some other performing arts organization, there is no legitimate reason to require new employees to perform a dance.

@JMac we can only guess as OP didn't tell us. My bet is that it's for the same reason why teams go to lunches together, go-karting, karaoke, and just plain drinking - it's there to bond, and do it quickly.

@TymoteuszPaul how is it a 'bonding' experience if it has your employees freaking out and wanting to call in sick? :/

@donotexecuteorder66 - I understand. I hate to be the center of attention, too. Try not to worry about it too much. I've learned over the years that the worry is usually far worse than the actual activity. And I've learned that just getting it done quickly makes it less painful for me. Good luck.

@Erik If someone wants to call sick over having to perform a dance, or sing a song, with their teammates then they have some deep-rooted issues. Or just are too comfortable with the "I am an introvert" excuse. This is not something abnormal for a human adult to do. They didn't ask him to clean the cesspool for darnest sake, and those are the same excuses I heard when asking new employees to do a presentation. At least give it a go, show that you are willing to try.

@TymoteuszPaul whether someone has issues or not, it doesn't answer the question of "how is it a bonding experience if it has people freaking out and wanting to call in sick".

@Erik Actually it does. If you are feeling sick just because it's out of your comfort zone then going past it is bonding, as you are taking one for the team, as everyone else on the team did before. It's almost like OP isn't the first employee in that company :D. But then again why they do it is my guess, as OP did not provide for us the explanation from the company.

To the above; whether it's right or not for a company to make you dance at their party - in this case, it's quite clear that it could be a career limiting move not to. The answer is solid advice for career progression at this company; whether the company should have this culture or not.

My response would be: if they expect you to do this kind of ridiculous thing right of the bat, then they'll probably ask similar things again in the future, if it makes you that uncomfortable you should ask yourself 'is this the company for me?'.

For some people, personal embarrassment can be more important than their career at a particular company. From personal experience, I've been asked and seen others asked to do unimportant things they're uncomfortable with. In all cases, not doing them had no consequences except for a minor temporary disappointment of their colleagues' part.

It's one thing if you're trying to be a manager, but aren't comfortable leading a meeting. It's another if you plan on progressing to a senior programmer and won't humor a HR's plan for a dance party.

@Bilkokuya It's hard to say whether you're right or wrong regarding it being career limiting, but I think a genuinely important skill is to be able to present yourself and act in such a way that others don't feel they can bully you into this kind of nonsense. I have to say, I've worked at a LOT of organisations (I mean a lot) and I've never heard something so ridiculous as this request.

I go to work to work, not to be "put out of my comfort zone" or dance, or entertain people or whatever crap they make up

@TymoteuszPaul I disagree completely with everything you're saying here. Expecting employees to dance and to perform is not normal, it's not like a team building event, it's not like introducing yourself. Most adults will not want to dance or perform on stage - I'd go as far as to say most adults simply don't have the skills or inclination to do so. And to compare it to a presentation, a standard business practice, is absurd.

Even if they do have the skills or inclination, trying to force them is weird. I don't mind being on stage, I love presenting talks and talking to crowds, and I don't mind being silly and weird, but if you're going to try and force me to do something like that, I'm still going to say no.

@Dan This, right here is the cleanest and most well expressed comment on the overall problem I've seen!

@Erik Exactly, it's just not on. I've been to lots of companies where the occasional e-mail goes out offering all kinds of weird and wonderful opportunities for people to do stuff. Some of them sound fun to me, some of them sound worse than work. If people want to put a little employee show on, that's cool - to make it de-facto compulsory is out of order. @Ruadhan2300 Cheers!

@Dan You are absolutely allowed to disagree, but then also do not complain that the workplace is inhumane where any attempt to bring a bit of humanity to it is met with resistance. I cannot expect people to treat you like more than a box to do work, and at the same time refuse to express yourself in more personal way. To each their own.

@TymoteuszPaul if you think forcing people who can't dance to humiliate themselves in front of everyone is "humane", then I'm afraid disagreeing with you is not only something we're allowed to do, it's also what we ought to do.

There's nothing "personal expression" about forcing people to do a dance. The whole idea of personal expression is that it comes from the person, rather than being forced upon them.

@TymoteuszPaul That's deliberately disingenuous. As it happens, I'm a huge fan of team socialising and building - but it needs to be done on terms people are happy with. Going out for a drink, or doing something optional such as paintball, karting or whatever or even encouraging people to personalise their workspace - yeah, that's fine, encouraged and excellent for business. Forcing people to dance or take part in non-work activities that they don't want to do is a long long way from that

I agree that the requirement is unfair and ill-thought-out, and the company shouldn't have started this. But: life is not fair. It is full of situations where you're better off doing something that you don't want to do, and frankly crying/raging about it is not going to improve matters. Sometimes you do need to just buck up and get on with it. So it is up to the individual to decide how much they want to resist this; meanwhile it's hard for us to gauge how much resistance might be required.

@Dan Except that people can make exactly the same complaints (and did in the past) about all of the activities you mention, so how are they better, besides that you enjoy them, but do not enjoy dancing? There will always be someone who will feel discriminated by any activity you pick. Also OP is not FORCED to do anything, as that, and other answer states. It is strongly encouraged to do it, but absolutely not forced. Just like going to your "welcome to the team" pub pints.

@TymoteuszPaul The difference is they simply don't have to engage, and I disagree with anybody or any company that makes them de-facto mandatory through pressure or whatever. Yes, obviously, OP doesn't have to do it on pain of death but they clearly don't want to do so. If OP had posted "I really want to do this show that my firm are doing - should I" I'd be answering "Absolutely, what a great opportunity to get to know your team and colleagues. Go for it"

And I still maintain that asking somebody to perform is a world away from partaking in near enough any activity

@Dan I do agree, people shouldn't have to do this kind of thing - and being able to stand up to it is a valuable skill. I just felt the debate was turning more into "is this OK" rather than "is this answer good advice" (which I felt it was). But now it's been chatted - looks like it's open season.

@Bilkokuya The "required" came from his collegues, not from HR, or his boss, or anyone; it's merely office gossip (as per OP own post). And as legally you cannot make people do it, it cannot be required, which when OP finally speaks to HR will say he doesn't want to perform.

I think OP should stick to their guns and refuse. Don't call in sick, there's no use in that.

As someone else said, people are people, not performer monkeys for other people's amusement.

I have never worked with a company where such participation was mandatory, nor have I ever been looked down upon for refusing. I think nobody will pay OP's refusal any mind.

I should note: taking sick leave when you're not really sick will probably be seen as worse than just refusing to participate.