The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

SQL Prompt pricing is ridiculous

(I am easily amused)

i'm known to be tricksy and false

i should sue myself

That's very New York of you 🤣

i've been working on a stored procedure to do targeted checks for performance settings/configuration issues, and gather some high level performance metrics. it's currently just in the dev branch, but if anyone feels like testing it, it's here: sp_PerfCheck

I always wondered: Did Paul start as Paul the Grey, beat a balrog with his SQL knowledge, and ultimately return as Paul White?

Merge conflicts have always been with us

thank you. using wordle as a rorschach test makes me feel mentally well.

> I grant you three ... valued logic

i know i'm an e-core but at least i e-care

I don't see how you go without butter

The only timezone standards I’m familiar with are quandaries and laments

i see a parrot

When they said MS should dogfood I didn't realize they were talking about actual food for an actual dog

> Table error: Object ID %d, index ID %d, partition ID %I64d, alloc unit ID %I64d (type %.*ls) contains an anti-matter column, but is not a nonclustered index.

Merry Christmas to all you Heapers !!

Who remembers mobo dip switches

further obfuscation via roman numerals

have you tried spending more money in azure to get them to care what you think

Those are just the ones I noticed. There's probably heaps Moore

It turned into a tree, look at that good bark

@SeanGallardy I see it chose to be cremated

this is not a back yard

If you all have a moment and some memory dumps - Just finished with dump explorer and chock full of bugs and missing features - have a go at it please.

The only way to tell is to tie it to railroad tracks and see if it’s train proof

I wonder if there's a book on recognising obvious sarcasm

artisanally pounded ofc

> Operation on job agent is in progress. Please wait a gew minutes before retrying again.

it's always snark week in the heap

I’m usually a real quotename slut

i am doomed!

Note: batch level stats, not per statement

hey-hey-hey!

@SeanGallardy I just assumed you were always on

If only there were some way to respond to questions other than a comment

i broke something

@Erik Great news! You can have nested CTEs with TF 15320 (session or global)

Simple recovery is best recovery

I asked CoPilot for a summary and it said "capitalism hasn't really been tried"

Forrest replicated