Is Cave Johnson the G-man from HL?

Conversation started Jan 18, 2017 at 5:18.

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:18

in Ask Ubuntu General Room, 1 min ago, by Nathan Osman

If Valve was Disney, Portal 3 would be about Chell's daughter growing up and sneaking back into Aperture, finding a trapped man, falling in love, defeating GlaDOS, and then they live happily ever after.

Any takers? :D

SaintWacko

@NathanOsman I'd play it

Nathan Osman

Lol.

Memor-X

@NathanOsman so if Valve was Disney they'd finally know how to count to 3?

Nathan Osman

I guess so...

Kaz Wolfe

Why Disney Portal 3 will not work.

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:22

Although how many Disney movies make it to 3?

user15026

I can't help reading that as the daughter living happily ever after with GlaDOS

Nathan Osman

Toy Story 3... that's all that comes to mind.

Kaz Wolfe

Let's say Chell is 20 when she escapes. She finds love and has mini-Chell at 25. Now, Aperture follows some laws, so the youngest possible person there is 18 when Chell escapes. That means they'll now be 23.

Because Disney doesn't offend anymore, Chell's daughter will be 18 when she heads into Aperture. Meaning, the trapped guy is 41.

Does not work well.

Memor-X

@KazWolfe or it's bring your daughter to work day

Kaz Wolfe

Oh, and you can't do "lol statis" because power died at start of Portal 2. Anyone still in statis is dead.

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:24

@KazWolfe But the trapped guy is in stasis.

Kaz Wolfe

@Memor-X Progressive.

Nathan Osman

@KazWolfe He patched Chell into the reserve grid.

He could have done the same for himself.

Kaz Wolfe

@NathanOsman Which died pretty soon after Chell woke up iirc

user15026

@NathanOsman Aladdin did, Cars, Cinderella, Lilo and Stitch (sort of, if you count offshoots), Brave Little Toaster

user15026

I am sure there are others

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:25

@Ash Hmm... I forgot some of those.

Good memory.

Kaz Wolfe

In fact, Chell woke up because reserve power died.

Nathan Osman

I thought it was integer overflow.

user15026

@NathanOsman I watch a lot of Disney :)

Kaz Wolfe

so any 18 year old in statis would be dead in their room because no Wheatley came to save them.

Memor-X

@KazWolfe simple solution to all the problems. it's all the work of G-Man who we learn is actually Cave Johnson

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:26

"You have been in whatever-it-is for 9-9-9-9-9-static days."

Kaz Wolfe

@Memor-X Read the sidebar.

(wait, that means i shouldn't be here.... oops)

Nathan Osman

@Memor-X Theeeeere we go. Bring HL into this :D

Kaz Wolfe

@NathanOsman you're a programmer. When does integer overflow hit a number with all nines?

Nathan Osman

SQL.

A lot of dumb people use character arrays for storing numbers.

And, granted, modern SQL implementations use actual integers, that wasn't always the case.

Remember, Aperture goes back to the 50s.

Kaz Wolfe

that would also explain why GLaDOS went crazy.

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:28

Kaz Wolfe

@NathanOsman 1940s

Memor-X

@KazWolfe not sure what's dumb about it. who's to say G-Man isn't the result of Cave Johnson trying to leech out moon rock poisoning with portals

Nathan Osman

@KazWolfe ---^

Kaz Wolfe

@Memor-X time travel! timey-wimey stuff!

portal != doctor who

there's no known case of actual time travel in the portal universe, so we can't say that's the case. Cave died in the 70s, so he couldn't have been around for the Black Mesa Incident in any form.

Nathan Osman

I thought it was the 80s.

But close enough for the purpose of this discussion.

Kaz Wolfe

Jan 18, 2017 05:31

yeah, 80s, my mistake.

Nathan Osman

We don't actually know he died. Just that he was deathly ill.

Kaz Wolfe

it's been a while since I've played portal2.

Nathan Osman

And Caroline was to be "uploaded" into the computer.

Kaz Wolfe

and she was.

Nathan Osman

Since this seems to be the case, we assume he did indeed die.

But we don't know for sure.

Kaz Wolfe

Jan 18, 2017 05:32

No, he did die.

Nathan Osman

Proof?

Kaz Wolfe

The orders given were that Caroline were to be uploaded and take over Aperture upon Cave's death.

Nathan Osman

LOL.

Google, you are no help.

@KazWolfe you're affirming the consequent.

Kaz Wolfe

I mean, unless he faked his own death and somehow time-traveled to the black mesa incident

Nathan Osman

He wouldn't have had to time-travel, necessarily.

Kaz Wolfe

Jan 18, 2017 05:34

Which was sometime in the 2000s

Nathan Osman

He would be old, that's for sure.

Kaz Wolfe

Well, we know he was alive in the 1940s.

Nathan Osman

Yeah.

So at least in his 70s.

Kaz Wolfe

I don't think he started a company as a baby.

Let's be nice and say he's 20 in 1940.

Nathan Osman

Shower curtains aren't hard to make :P

(Right? I mean, I've never actually made one...)

Dragonrage

Jan 18, 2017 05:35

elder scrolls oblivion has such terrible graphics compared to even basic skyrim

Kaz Wolfe

So he'd be at least 80 at the turn of the millenium.

Nathan Osman

True. And G-man looks much younger.

Okay, I'm willing to concede that one is not happening.

Dragonrage

though skyrim has terrible graphics compared to what it can have if you properly mod it

Nathan Osman

We don't have any reference to Wheatley before Portal 2, correct?

Kaz Wolfe

Right.

Memor-X

Jan 18, 2017 05:37

@Dragonrage same can be said about Morrowind and Oblivion

Kaz Wolfe

Also, @NathanOsman, Gordon was in HL2, yes?

Nathan Osman

Yes, I believe so. Haven't actually played that game.

Kaz Wolfe

That was in 2029 or later.

So he'd be 110 or so by the time Gordon started the story of HL2.

Dragonrage

@Memor-X quite probably, however i dont think ive seen any morrowind screenshots

Kaz Wolfe

Unless the moon rocks gave him immortality...

Nathan Osman

Jan 18, 2017 05:38

No, they poisoned him :P

Memor-X

@KazWolfe yes "Wake up Mr Freeman. Wake Up, and smell the ashes"

Kaz Wolfe

there we are. Cave could not have been G-Man, unless he found immortality.

Nathan Osman

Fair enough.

Conversation ended Jan 18, 2017 at 5:38.

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