The Frying Pan

Jolenealaska

3:22 AM

Oh my dear God this is good!

Jolenealaska

3:34 AM

I got the goat biryani extra, extra spicy, a meat samosa, achar and riata. this is really, really good! :)

I love Groupons.

Now I have had goat, and I like it!

Jolenealaska

3:49 AM

And the place took me seriously when I asked for extra, extra spicy!

Jolenealaska

8:47 AM

@rumtscho I'm not a huge fan of Martha Stewart, BUT this video for Macarons looks pretty awesome (that is what you've been trying to perfect, right?). You need a food processor, but you need a food processor anyway :) marthastewart.com/1066149/french-macarons#1066149 It's perfectly precise, which I think is kind of key here.

And boy are those pretty.

And fussy even for me.

Tom W

1:36 PM

@Jolenealaska
> bulgogi burritos
I told you!

I mean, that idea popped into my head independently of them actually doing it

Jolenealaska

Bulgogi burritos (and such) is next, but CN has pissed me off again today, so much, that the Groupon may go unused. The rules state that it's only good for a dine-in table of two or more.

Well, actually, it won't go unused...that is just silliness.

But, I'll find another dinner guest.

He is a prick.

An idiot.

Waste of skin.

I am disgusted.

He annoys me anyway, as a rule, but he showed a side tonight that I don't even know how to deal with.

rumtscho

2:27 PM

what did he do?

Jolenealaska

Oh Jeez.

I don't even know how to say it.

I had just come home from my monthly thing.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska the drug injection

Jolenealaska

Yeah

My whaddya call it...

trail?

rumtscho

A trail? You mean the route you took there and back?

or do you mean it's a trial (in the sense of ordeal) to go there every month?

Jolenealaska

to my staircase was so slick as to be impassible. Like <Jesus, what is the word?>

rumtscho

2:36 PM

path?

walkway?

Jolenealaska

Like that.

rumtscho

so, it was badly iced and you were in danger of slipping.

Jolenealaska

Yes

big time

so I had "his keys"

But, to return them, right then, would have forced me to travel a lot more on this ridiculously slick path.

So, I didn't.

rumtscho

understandable.

Jolenealaska

He's not not going anywhere tomorrow anyway, he'd break his neck.

He called me, fucking pissed, like 2 minutes after I got in my place

"Why didn't you return my keys??"

rumtscho

2:47 PM

you're right. he's a jerk.

Jolenealaska

I haven't told him yet that I filled his car with gas, bought a Groupon for the dinner he promised me and bought him coffee, which I knew he needed.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska he shouldn't be snapping at you for the keys no matter if you filled his car with gas or not

Jolenealaska

He's got a weird ass thing about it.

I'm right above him (my apartment)

rumtscho

even if he'd needed the car right away, he could have walked the few meters himself to get the keys. He knew you're home. And it's easier for him to walk than for you.

Jolenealaska

But he cannot rest without his keys.

rumtscho

2:52 PM

@Jolenealaska ah, I didn't know it's multi-floor. When you posted pictures from the outside (the mezetta bottles) it looked like you're on the ground floor.

Jolenealaska

I'm just above him.

It doesn't matter though.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska there are so many people who push themselves into a bad mood for nothing. I mean, what's the problem with not having the keyring for some time?

If he's afraid he might need to go out and won't be able to lock, he can start giving you the car key only, on a separate ring.

Jolenealaska

That's exactly it.

I don't get it.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska have you tried asking him?

Jolenealaska

Yes

rumtscho

2:55 PM

oh. That's worse. Does he deny that he's worried?

Jolenealaska

He just gets stupid.

rumtscho

Sometimes people are so stubborn. They say that there's no problem even when you see how winded up they get.

Jolenealaska

I pay the insurance on that car, most of the maintenance, and almost all of the gas.

I'm sick of it.

rumtscho

now that sounds unfair. With an old car, the maintenance is higher than the buying price.

Jolenealaska

I could have bought a car by now, three times over.

rumtscho

3:02 PM

you seriously need somebody else for sharing the dinner.

Jolenealaska

You're right.

I have a ridiculous soft spot.

rumtscho

you have few friends in the city, I guess? It's hard buidling a social network when you live in a place you moved to late (after university). Doubly so when you don't have a job.

Jolenealaska

But he does not not deserve it.

He's an ass.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska It's better to have a soft spot and sometimes others taking advantage of it, than to be a jerk and drive away others before they get close enough to have a chance of hurting you.

Jolenealaska

Worse....I really don't know anyone.

That's a big part of it.

I was so happy in Chickaloon....

rumtscho

3:06 PM

I've read of it somewhere as the "trust tax": you trust others to be honest people, and when sometimes they turn out not to be, you pay a price (the amount they con you for). But on average, you are a much happier person than if you'd live a life of constant vigilance.

Jolenealaska

I don't know how to make friends here.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska that's how it used to be for me too. I lived in this city for 5 years without really knowing anyone.

But now I have social contacts, and I think the best source was the kayaking club.

Cerberus

Hi.

Can't you move back to Chickaloon?

rumtscho

I am now friends with the least likely people, like an 75 year old man.

Maybe you could find a hobby which is cheap, but doable in a group, and join a group of people who does it?

Jolenealaska

The itty bitty town of Chickalooon was so great for me.

I miss it so much.

rumtscho

3:09 PM

@Jolenealaska I understand. It looked tiny as a "town", but the nature around it... I'm sure just looking out of the window was enough to make you feel happy.

@Jolenealaska do you know Meetup?

It's a website where like-minded people create "groups" which meet to do something together

it started out as a hip thing in the Silicon Valley, and the first groups were "Python developers in the Bay area" and the like

but today it's used in all the world, and for the strangest interests

Jolenealaska

I Googled it just now.

rumtscho

I recently saw that in my area, there is a new group based on discussing early Nitzschean philosophy

at least here, it's the place where "rootless" people go to find social contact. The Germans usually grow up with their circle of friends and rarely make new friends as adults.

But people who have moved into another city, or immigrants, find each other by visiting Meetups which are aligned with their interests.

Jolenealaska

@Cerberus Hi hun. No, I cant. My health just won't allow me to be over an hour from a doctor.

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska I hope this doesn't sound rude. But you are too good to put up with CN as your only offline friend just because there is no other one available. You deserve better.

Jolenealaska

That isn't rude at all.

It's very true.

I've reached the point that I prefer to be alone.

rumtscho

3:17 PM

@Jolenealaska It's arrogant to tell you what friends to have and not have, so I didn't know how you'll react. I didn't want to come across as admonishing.

Being alone has its advantages too. But not all the time. Human contact is important.

Jolenealaska

It's totally true. He's such an ass, I don't even know how to deal with it.

OK, Jan 17.

Alright, 2 months and it gets easier.

I'm actually pretty good at computer dating :)

Last year I could have written books!

I'm a bit weirded out about @ElendilTheTall

It's been way too long.

Tom W

3:37 PM

Babies. That happens.

Jolenealaska

I miss him.

But, but....

I don't know what he actually does

but, WTF?

I am am very used to just chatting with him, like his entire "work" day.

rumtscho

yes, it's the 17. January

My birthday :)

@Jolenealaska he may have taken a longer winter vacation

Jolenealaska

HAPPY! BDAY!

rumtscho

@Jolenealaska thank you

I just got off the phone with my parents, they called me while I was chatting with you

Jolenealaska

I thought that until like now.

Hmmmm.....

All good?

rumtscho

3:44 PM

what do you mean, all good? I didn't quarrel with my parents, if that's what you're asking for :)

it took a bit of conscious deciding not to feel insulted two or three times though

Jolenealaska

Well, that's kind of what I'm asking about.

rumtscho

there was one moment when my dad said, "your cousin's friends opened a specialized beer store, they carry 150 varieties of beer"

I said "Oh, I should visit it when I come back home"

Tom W

mm, beer

rumtscho

Mother: "Do you like beer" Me "yes, I like you", Mother: "You're a big drunkard then"

Jolenealaska

FFS

rumtscho

3:48 PM

Me, "Why are you saying that? It's a big difference between saying that I like beer and being a drunkard", she "Well, that's the correct reaction"

Jolenealaska

I can so relate to that kind of crap.

rumtscho

I just had to tell myself to stop there and change the topic

but today it wasn't hard, because I'm in a great mood

Yesterday was bad, I have a deadline on Monday and I was afraid I won't be able to make it

But I worked the day through, 8 AM to 9 PM, and have a pretty solid foundation now, I'll be able to deliver a sound report. It won't be complete, but that's not the point of it, I just have to show what I've done in the last weeks.

And this morning, I was in training.

I finally got it! I know how the Eskimo roll is done.

I still didn't manage to do it right, it seems that I'm missing a tiny bit of strength or coordination, or both.

So when there is somebody to give me a slight push to the shoulders, I come up all right. But not on my own.

Jolenealaska

Jeene (my maternal bitch), called me a slut when I was a 15 year old virgin, because I had a book.

rumtscho

But up until now, I only could come up if I was holding to either the pool edge, or a stack of 3 foam pads.

Today I went through coming up with a single pad, through holding on to somebody's hands, to doing it with the paddle, with a slight push from somebody watching me.

Jolenealaska

Isn't that life??

rumtscho

3:54 PM

@Jolenealaska Yes, that's how they are. The point is to remember that their opinion doesn't matter. But it's not a thing you know when you're 15.

And them saying it always hurts, even when you know they are wrong.

@Jolenealaska what is life? Learning how to roll a kayak? Funny that you say it, because I think this is a big part of why I got so enthusiastic about the whole kayak thing. It somehow felt like a big metaphor for life, from the first time I sat in the boat.

It was me, being carried by the current, trying to not hit a rock, scared of falling in.

And slowly learning how to relax and control the boat. And to get up after falling in.

Plus not doing the hardest parts on the first day :P

Jolenealaska

Sure...Kayaking, Climbing, Reading.....

rumtscho

Reading is a different thing. Always soothing, because it's so easy. No way to get it wrong.

Jolenealaska

Dental care :)

baking....

Holy Crap! It's 7am!

How do I do this to myself??

Cya!

rumtscho

sleep well!

Cerberus

10:58 PM

@rumtscho Owww just in time, happy birthday!

How old are you know, 19?

Jolenealaska

11:37 PM

It seems that way. I think she has just turned 30 or 31.

Babe in the woods.

rumtscho

Jolene is right, I'm 31 since today

Jolenealaska

31 I think. It seems to me she said she was born in 1984....which is the year I graduated High School.

Hi sweetie....Happy B-day again!

rumtscho

thank you again

Jolenealaska

I just had a thought about CN.

I don't think I have told this story, but it says clearly I should be done with him.

rumtscho

what is the story?

Jolenealaska

11:46 PM

When I first came back to Alaska after my surgeries, I crashed on his couch for a couple of months.

That's how I kind of feel obligated to him.

The day my mother died, I asked to borrow his car to go to the funeral home.

I knew he was broke, so I specifically asked if the car was insured, I don't drive uninsured vehicles, period.

He said, Yes, the car is insured.

I got a speeding ticket on the way home, just feet from my front door.

Turns out that the cop blew off the speeding, but he wanted to see proof of insurance.

I looked in the glove box, nothing, so I walked to CN's place.

"I need proof of insurance to get out of this speeding ticket"

He dug it out of his billfold.....3 months expired.

He said "oops"

I was pretty pissed, but that's not it.

rumtscho

at least he didn't lie in your face. I'd have found this much worse.

Jolenealaska

Driving without insurance is a big deal in Alaska.

rumtscho

yes, I realize he got you into trouble out of stupidity

but I interrupted you, sorry. If that was not "it", what was?

Jolenealaska

I had to go to court to face a big fine and several points against my driver's license...

Cerberus

@rumtscho Woohoo, we're the same age!

Jolenealaska

11:59 PM

Enough that if I got another ticket within a year I would lose my lisence.

Transcript for