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Mitch
Mitch
12:44 AM
@Jez Go Plaid Cymru!!
 
Mr. Shiny and New 安宇
Mr. Shiny and New 安宇
Boy I'm glad I wasn't here earlier for the chat where Jez got everything wrong about feminism that is possible to get wrong.
 
tchrist
tchrist
1:02 AM
He always has.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
wtf
order for mother's day here! order now!
we're sorry, we don't deliver on sundays
well what in the literal fuck
I'm gonna call and give them a piece of my mind.
calls amex instead and complains and asks them to fix it
 
tchrist
tchrist
Why is this crap still here?
-7
A: Syllable Count for Apparent Monosyllabic Words

VioletHi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
why would anyone post that
 
tchrist
tchrist
Abuse.
Hit it with another abusive flag. Maybe it will die.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
1:20 AM
daaisyy, daisyyy
give me your answer, do
I'm half craazyyy
all for the love of youuuu
gets really low pitched and slow
 
tchrist
tchrist
-er
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
it won't be a stylish marriage; I can't afford a carriageee
but you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for twooooo
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
@tchrist Aaand it's gone.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I tried to bump it at a high speed with my snout
that usually works on lions and such but I suppose not on abusive posts.
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:44 AM
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 It's a weird psychology. Like liberals being called fascists.
@GeorgePompidou Call your mom instead. Hold back on the piece of mind thing. Do that on Monday.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
huh?
but mother's day is sunday
why would I call my mom now
and I need to sort out this flowers thing asap
Mitch, you're not making any sense, Mitch.
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou Argh. Call her on Sunday. Also, call her on your birthday. She made you.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
what on earth?
what does this have to do with my birthday?!
and she will obviously call me on my birthday, that's how it works
 
Mitch
Mitch
you know, like out of a little ball of clay.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
obviously I'll call her on sunday
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:49 AM
@GeorgePompidou That's gotta turn around. and it starts with you. make a difference in the world man.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
no, I just care about myself. and a little about my mom.
cause she's the best person ever.
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou OK. I thought if the flowers thing doesn't work out, she'll be happy to hear from you.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I know
._.
 
Mitch
Mitch
also, you owe her everything.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
shut up.
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:51 AM
like hundreds of thousands of dollars
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
yeah.
 
Mitch
Mitch
But if you're feeling weird about it, I'll take care of that for you. just send me your bank info and get cracking on the bank transfer thing.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
that time I failed my first year of school and she paid for it in whole. that's almost 100k in itself.
 
Mitch
Mitch
oh. I'm just messing around.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I'm not, I literally owe my mom in the order of hundreds of thousands.
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:52 AM
yeah, also she didn't make you out of clay.
it was more like goop.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I think my dad helped. that's why my nose and hair are all jewish and shit.
 
Mitch
Mitch
it all goes to the same place.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
one time I whined because I really wanted invisalign braces so that my bottom teeth would be straight so she paid like over 10k for that
 
Mitch
Mitch
(there's a good poop joke in there somewhere but I can't remember)
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
and I never wore them because I randomly gained self esteem and confidence sometime shortly thereafter
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:55 AM
@GeorgePompidou science is magic.
the brain is funny
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
so there's more money I think I owe her
 
Mitch
Mitch
also teenagers
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I've told her countless times that my travels actually cost more than they should because I like to travel luxuriously.
I feel really bad about all that.
 
Mitch
Mitch
Tell her she's better than nutella
She should swoon
Your dad, meh.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
my mom made herself a bank executive from a poor political refugee from communist Romania and gave me the life she never had, and did the best job any parent could do, and is just the best in every way, and I, in turn, I'm basically a spoiled, entitled, ungrateful piece of shit who just knows how to spend and spend
and I'm full of myself and arrogant and rude.
 
Mitch
Mitch
1:58 AM
nice!
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
sighs
at least I'm somewhat cultured.
 
Mitch
Mitch
When I came back home for a weekend visit during college, my mom used to make pretty much every food I ever said I liked. I felt so guilty because I couldn't eat it all.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I take so much for granted that that situation wouldn't even remotely hint at a shred of guilt in any universe
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou like a good yogurt. a little sour.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
all my life I got buried in every food, luxury, material good I ever wanted
and usually they just sit around my room on the floor
and I moan and groan in existential sorrow.
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:02 AM
@GeorgePompidou life just doesn't match how great it was with nutella for breakfast everyday
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
sighs louder
 
Mitch
Mitch
I got one more food allegory left in me for today. I don't know what it'll be.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I wish I could go back with my adult mindset and appreciate everything my mom did for me.
I upset her so much during my life.
she must've never felt appreciated…
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou You'll never ever ever be able to pay her back. But if it'll make you feel better, you can assuage any guilt about that by sending me ten cases of restaurant sized Nutella cartridges
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
they make nutella in cartridges?
or is that a use of the word I'm not familiar with
imagines a giant fountain pen cartridge but with nutella to put in my mouth and slowly suck on while I'm sitting in lectures
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:06 AM
Did I say cartridges? Hm.. I suppose I did. If someone gave me the choice of how I would have to be executed, it would probably have to be by firing squad, all ammunition .... Nutella cartridges.
Either that or old age.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I'd want to get shot in slow motion
 
Anonymous
Due to high production at MIT, theories are always shipped from there with more nodes than they actually need at the moment, so they can be used with new theories that become available in the next months. Pay no attention to empty nodes; they're soluble in oxygen, so they all disappear when the sentence is pronounced. — jlawler 12 hours ago
 
Mitch
Mitch
@snailboat Hilarious!!
I don't get it.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
I negative get it.
 
Anonymous
@Mitch Lucky!
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:08 AM
You're giving something back?
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
yes. the teller of the joke gets something funny out of me.
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou Like New Yorker cartoons. humor vampires.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
hmm…
isn't sure what you're talking about but assumes someone with a big chin, monocle, and pipe
 
Mitch
Mitch
@GeorgePompidou well, that dude is supposed to be a representative of the readership of the New Yorker. Eustace is his name?
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
bottomtooth.
and he has latin numbers after his name.
like VII or something stupid like that
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:11 AM
MCMXCIX ?
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
exactly
 
Mitch
Mitch
stupid.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
no I think that's a spoarts
or a bowl of dip
I'm not sure, you know what, roman numbers are idiotic.
 
Mitch
Mitch
Well, it's better than nothing.
Actually that's not true
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
nah.
with nothing you can still count on your fingers.
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:12 AM
They're worse than nothing. I'd count on my fingers before trying to do multiplication with them
jinx
I win the internet!
downloading now
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
do I get to start punching you repeatedly until you touch a doorknob or something?
how does jinx work
 
Mitch
Mitch
done
@GeorgePompidou ?? that seems a bit complicated.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
shrugs
 
Mitch
Mitch
I think you just give someone a coke. _checks if the coca-cola company started that little bit of product placement)
But if you must, just punch the doorknob, that works just as well.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
you're probably not too close to me and it's 4 in the morning
jesus, it's 4 in the morning
what am I doing with my life
 
Mitch
Mitch
2:15 AM
Yeah, you should get ready to wake up soon.
here I'll make it easy for you.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
nah, I got Fridays off because I'm a competent schedule-maker
 
Mitch
Mitch
l8r
tschussi
what is text speak for 'bye' in German?
sp8r?
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
tschüß
 
tchrist
tchrist
@Mitch Philistine.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
or bis spöter if you're Swiss
or guete aabig if you're Swiss and it's between 6 and midnight.
 
tchrist
tchrist
2:19 AM
Get a fricking Mac or Linux box and cut oucher belly-achin already.
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
can Windows users still not conveniently type non ascii characters?
jesus christ how long has it been?
Lawler was right about Windows.
 
tchrist
tchrist
Duh.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be.
 
Anonymous
@GeorgePompidou Locale stuff on Windows is still annoying
 
George Pompidou
George Pompidou
so is everything I've tried to do in my limited experience with Windows.
 
 
4 hours later…
SmokeDetector
SmokeDetector
6:55 AM
[ SmokeDetector ] Email in body: Language Exchange Learning in New Zealand by johnny on english.stackexchange.com
 
tchrist
tchrist
7:18 AM
@SmokeDetector weird way to sell your services, spammy
 
 
1 hour later…
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
8:34 AM
@tchrist interesting. I can, and often do.
It is not too polite, mind you.
But certainly possible, for me.
 
Anonymous
It's only possible for me in the sense that I can do so really inefficiently
 
Anonymous
It causes pretty serious interference
 
Anonymous
I do best without multitasking, and I'm very bad at shutting out people's voices
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
8:48 AM
hi @snailboat
I want to install a new software on my machine in my workplace. But i need to request it by an email. I thought of putting the heading like this > "Please install a debugger software on my machine"
But It's more like, i'm just like begging from them to do this task. (using 'Please')
It there a better way to say this ?
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Yes. There is no such thing like "a software".
Then, you said you want to install it, but now you're asking someone else to do that for you. Which one is it?
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
i'm sending this to a person in Network division.. I don't care about those guys
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Then I don't understand why you're overthinking it.
Actually, I don't understand why you're overthinking it no matter what.
The wording is completely irrelevant. Write whatever you want. It's just an email.
The software would have been installed by now had you sent it off.
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
using the word 'Please' sounds like i'm begging from them; which i acutally don't
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
It doesn't matter if it makes you sound begging or whatever. It doesn't matter if it's proper English. It only matters if it brings the point across that you need the software installed.
They have to do it no matter how you sound.
They are being paid for it.
All that said, "please" does not make you sound begging. "Please" makes you sound polite.
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
8:55 AM
okk.. boss.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
That said, if you don't want to use "please", then do not use "please".
It's simple.
Oh, and is this the email subject?
Words like "please" do not belong in the subject at all. Never.
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
thanx
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Subject: software such and such. Body: I need software such and such installed by date such and such. Thank you. Your name.
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
great. appreciate that much !
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
No problem. Also, in the future do keep in mind that it's just "software", never "a software", and you request things "by email", never "by an email".
 
Crazy Ninja
Crazy Ninja
8:59 AM
^_^ ok!
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:21 AM
@Cerberus: here, have a look: much better than your penises.
That's Chicago for you.
One more reason for @Rob to be toffee-nosed about the city.
 
Anonymous
I kind of miss Chicago
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Tell you what, I kind of miss Chicago without having ever been.
 
Anonymous
If you ever go, go for the food! :-)
 
Anonymous
Hey, why aren't you made of Lego anymore?
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
I even kind of miss Chicago despite Obama. Inconceivable.
@snailboat because the project has run out.
I've always been an owl. The hippo was cross-promotion, limited in time.
 
Anonymous
9:27 AM
Aww.
 
Anonymous
I guess I should be wary of you now.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Owls no eats snails. Owls eats mouses.
 
Anonymous
Oh, I love rodents!
 
Anonymous
I remember dissecting owl pellets and finding mouse remains as a child
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
And this is an arctic owl. So basically it only eats snow and perhaps an occasional seal.
 
Anonymous
9:29 AM
Oh! Okay, then.
 
Anonymous
Dissecting things is gross.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Understanding the workings of things is always gross.
 
Anonymous
That's very true!
 
Anonymous
I know a great many gross things about snails. :-)
 
Anonymous
Rodents, too.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:31 AM
Rhododendrons, too?
 
Anonymous
Not so much!
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
What about the workings of the Colossus of Rhodes?
 
Anonymous
Are you expecting me to know about things other than rodents and mollusks?
 
Anonymous
My grandfather was a lepidopterist, and I did my best to absorb all of his knowledge without any direct contact or any kind of studying, so I know a little bit about moths, too!
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
No, I'm just asking. No expectations attached.
I bet you would know all about the Colossus of Rodents.
That much I do expect.
 
Anonymous
9:34 AM
Oh, my, yes!
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Rat king (folklore)
Rat kings involve a number of rats intertwined at their tails, which become stuck together with, for instance, blood, dirt, ice, horse-hair, or feces—or simply knotted. The animals reputedly grow together while joined at the tails. The numbers of rats joined together can vary, but rat kings formed naturally from a large number of rats occur more rarely. The phenomenon is particularly associated with Germany, which may have produced the majority of reported instances. Historically, various superstitions surround rat kings, and they were often seen as a bad omen, particularly associated with plagues...
 
Anonymous
That's quite a bit different from a snail king.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
I'm not familiar with snaily royalty.
Snailtonian? Snailonian?
What is the adjective to go with snails?
I bet it's some Latin nonsense.
 
Anonymous
Well, you see, snails are typically dextral. A few species are sinistral instead.
 
Anonymous
But almost every member of a species has the same chirality.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:36 AM
Helixian?
 
Anonymous
But once in a blue moon, a snail lays a clutch which hatch into snails whose shells spiral the other way!
 
Anonymous
And these are snail kings
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Whoa. A whole hatch of kings. Now that's what I call democracy.
 
Anonymous
Yeah, it's an attribute of the parent rather than the hatchlings
 
Anonymous
But it's very rare, so they're still a tiny fraction of a percent
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:37 AM
Yeah yeah, dominant-recessive, blah.
 
Anonymous
They have trouble mating with snails that spiral the other way
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Oh?
Now why would that be?
 
Anonymous
Well, they try to spiral around each other and get sort of confused.
 
Anonymous
I've never observed it myself
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Do they also get a little bi curious?
 
Anonymous
9:39 AM
I haven't seen a snail king before
 
Anonymous
But it's not impossible for them to mate, just confusing:
 
Anonymous
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Oh noews! This is a family-friendly chat!
 
Anonymous
Hehe!
 
Anonymous
:-)
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:42 AM
There should be research on this. Why is snail porn okay, dog porn sort of acceptable, but porn of our own species is not.
BRB writing a PhD.
 
Anonymous
Animacy hierarchy?
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Nah.
Horse or elephant porn are not quite as acceptable as dog porn.
All mammals.
Not sure how we got from Chicago to elephant porn in just ten minutes. This room is incomprehensible.
 
Anonymous
I also know some gross things about elephants.
 
Anonymous
Which reminds me of hamsters.
 
Anonymous
@RegDwigнt A friend of mine's apartment complex caught fire, so she came over here for a couple days, and she brought with her hamsters! So I recently got to pet a very cute little boy hamster :-)
 
Anonymous
9:50 AM
(No one was hurt, and she got to go back home after a couple of days.)
 
Anonymous
He was a nice hamster. Very tame, not bitey at all. Mouse-like ears.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
I thought hamsters and elephants aren't related, after all. Someone screwed up royally.
 
Anonymous
Well, they have certain things in common.
 
Anonymous
@RegDwigнt I don't know if there are elephant kings or not.
 
Anonymous
But if so, I hope they're not like rat kings.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:53 AM
@snailboat yes, but you have 99% of things in common with a cauliflower.
So that's not saying much.
 
Anonymous
Those are different sorts of things!
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
All things are things.
There is literally nothing that's no thing.
 
Anonymous
All things are things, but other things are other things.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Two things good, four things better.
> 23 Insanely Clever Ways To Eat Cauliflower Instead of Carbs
What the
I can think of one. "With your mouth".
How else can you eat anything?
Also, since when are there no carbs in vegs?
 
Anonymous
@RegDwigнt You know there are answers to that question.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
9:56 AM
Yes, I watch South Park.
23 Insanely Clever Ways to Start a Porsche Instead of an Engine
 
Anonymous
 
Anonymous
I don't know much about South Park
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
So their 23 insanely clever ways of not eating carbs are all by eating cheese.
 
Anonymous
I can't really have lactose, so those images are a little scary for me :-)
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
 
Anonymous
9:59 AM
I mean, I hope the second and third ones are scary for everyone.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
@snailboat oh, okay, there is anything wrong with it for select people.
@snailboat is what I'm saying, yes.
 
Anonymous
The first one isn't quite as scary
 
Anonymous
I eat carbs
 
Anonymous
I lost weight by eating less of them, and also less of everything else at the same time
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Yeah imagine being carb-intolerant.
I think those anti-lactose-intolerance pills are humanity's greatest invention since the lottery.
Here, have a ticket. It might or might not work to one extent or none or all.
 
Anonymous
10:01 AM
Ahh, last time I had a milkshake I took two lact-aids and it wasn't enough
 
Anonymous
But those are definitely helpful
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
@snailboat yeah and then that other time you took none, and had two milkshakes, and it was fine.
Them's the ways of them lotteries.
 
Anonymous
The lact-aid things seem to work well enough for me to eat an ice cream bar :-)
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
 
Anonymous
Nom
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
10:02 AM
Holy smokes, an entire bar?
That is a lot of ice cream.
 
Anonymous
@RegDwigнt I don't live outside Chicago anymore
 
Anonymous
Now I live kind of near Gilroy, California
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
I wish there were alc-aid things that would let me drink an entire bar.
 
Anonymous
And in Gilroy, every year (I think?) they have the Gilroy Garlic Festival
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Awesome.
 
Anonymous
10:03 AM
And you can go there and get every kind of food imaginable, but with garlic
 
Anonymous
Like garlic ice cream.
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
Garlic is literally the healthiest thing that will ever be invented in the entire future of the universe.
 
Anonymous
Garlic and onion are two of my favorite things after hot peppers
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
All good choices.
 
Jez
Jez
UK general election 2015...
 
Robusto
Robusto
10:39 AM
@RegDwigнt I'm not at all pretentious about Chicago. It's a great city, with great architecture and a terrific lakefront. But it's too cold in winter and too hot in summer.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
@RegDwigнt Ooh, that's nice.
@Jez Wow, that is even worse than predicted!
 
Jez
Jez
@Cerberus yep. it's goddamn depressing.
i don't feel like i live in a democracy now. our electoral system means parliament doesn't represent huge numbers of people.
whatever we live in, it's not democratic.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
WTF, the Tories may have won an absolute majority after all??
 
Jez
Jez
yup.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
That is...unexpected.
And I have to agree, that's pretty undemocratic.
 
Jez
Jez
10:48 AM
they did well. but UKIP and the greens together got 5 million votes, and 2 MPs.
it's beyond a joke.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
Outrageous.
 
Jez
Jez
as i've said elsewhere, I voted for UKIP this time to add to that UKIP vote numbers statistic.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
I do wonder how the polls could have been so wrong, even up to the last day before the elections.
 
Jez
Jez
the point has now been proven. i shan't bother voting in future unless we get electoral reform.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
That Irish party got 100,000 votes and 3 seats.
So that's 33,000 votes per seat.
 
Jez
Jez
10:50 AM
@Cerberus well, in terms of vote share they weren't that far off. the Tories and Labour weren't as neck-and-neck as the polls suggested, but the other numbers were about right. Lib Dems on 7-8%, UKIP on about 13%, greens on about 4%
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
UKIP got 1 seat and 3,800,000 votes, so that's 3,800,000 votes per seat.
@Jez Right, I suppose that is true.
 
Jez
Jez
what isn't so predictable is where the votes will be. that shouldn't matter in a fair system, but the UK system isn't fair.
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
But still!
Alas.
115 UKIP voters are worth the same as 1 Northern Irish voter.
 
Jez
Jez
every election, you get a bunch of people coming out and saying that it's important to vote, and explaining why
up until now, i've basically agreed with them
 
Cerberus
Cerberus
It is still important to add to the stats!
 
Jez
Jez
10:53 AM
but until we get electoral reform, i shall now disagree with them. don't vote. your vote doesn't matter in UK politics.
no - we've done that now, with this election.
it's the most absurd travesty of democracy i've ever seen in anything that calls itself a democracy
the Tories just beating UKIP in virtually every contested seat
zero recognition of UKIP's votes across the UK
or nearly zero
actually, i was close to not voting this time around because we knew this was going to happen to some extent. but it has been even more terrible than i had feared.
so yeah. fuck voting from now on.
2 party system in multi-party politics = travesty
 
RegDwigнt
RegDwigнt
@Cerberus um, it's the same system they have in Germany and your very own Dutchland.
In fact it's specifically called something something majority democracy. Or something.
 
SmokeDetector
SmokeDetector
 
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