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Jeremy Miller
Jeremy Miller
4:55 AM
@Beofett I am also for not deleting it. I disagree with some of the comments more than the answer, but it is a poorly-executed and incomplete attempt at an answer... and we've seen attempted answers of similar (lacking) nature in other SE sites. Your comment, Beofett, was very well expressed.
@Beofett Did she? What was the error? "Too cool for upvotes?" :D
@AJHenderson The first time I picked up a baby, I gently reached under the butt and back of shoulders and started to pick it up... only to realize that the head doesn't come attached! It's a good thing they're not made of China!
 
 
1 hour later…
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
6:21 AM
@JeremyMiller I'm sure I probably did the same thing, but fortunately the first time I held a baby, I was around 3
and have held them with reasonable enough regularity along the way
 
medica
medica
7:13 AM
Hi, I'm new here so looking for some site culture. This answer is hard fot me to read:
13
A: Should you buy everything for your child to keep up with their peers?

DariuszI think that money is not the most important factor here. I think that the reason the children usually have these costly toys (and I mean toys, since most kids do little more than play on them) like smartphones, laptops, tablets, PSPs, etc. is not because their parents care about them; it's ofte...

My concern is that it shows a very strong belief that people who have much to give their kids do it for selfish motives: they want the kid to leave them alone.
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
@medica what are you actually asking?
 
medica
medica
This is a parenting site, where I suspect there may be a largeish discrepancy in earnings among us. When I had kids, I was working half time to spend as much time with them as possible.
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
personally, I down voted the answer as I disagree with it and don't think it is particularly helpful or insightful
 
medica
medica
Within 2 years of starting my part time job, my boss asked my husband if he wanted to work in our group, to which he said yes, and came in as a halftime to make my slot equal full time. We were always with our children. But we did buy them nice things (not extravigent)
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
my parents got me technical gadgets as a kid because I benefited from learning to use them and used them productively in school
and I think a responsible parent getting technology for their kid could expect the same thing of their kid
 
medica
medica
7:26 AM
But if feel he's just calling anyone with the wealth to buy their kid nice stuff were nasty!!
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
sure, they could play games in class, but they could just as easily reference wikipedia and use advanced calculator functions
yeah, I intend to buy my kids that kind of stuff and it has nothing to do with his reasoning at all
totally opposite it
 
medica
medica
What does one do when a user is si ...overpowering in his dismissal of those of us who care very much?
is the answer to downvote and move on, then?
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
downvote if you don't feel it is accurate and point out the error (but don't get in to a debate in comments)
if you want to have a discussion, invite them to chat
 
medica
medica
good point. Ok, thanks, AJ! It's confounding being a new member. :)
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
@medica yeah, no problem. I'm glad you asked because it is fairly typical for newer members to make the mistake of starting discussions in comments
which inevitably get nuked
since that isn't what they are there for
but yeah, I definitely agree with you about it being a pretty judgmental stance
since I'm very firmly in the opposite camp precisely because I'm very interested in my child's development and have been there done that when I was a student
I came from a well off family and had an IEP so I had access to word processors and laptops and PDAs in school before having technology in the classroom was a particularly big thing
and it was a huge boon to my education
because I was taught to make responsible use of technology
problem is a lot of parents don't even understand responsible use of technology so of course they can't teach it to their kids
that's why we have to have laws about not texting and driving
 
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
8:38 AM
@KarlBielefeldt - "You are the cavalry." This is so true. I love to read your answers. They show how much - and how diverse! - parenting experience you have!
@AJHenderson in comments is what you wanted to say, and it even happens to veterans. That's why the system automatically adds a comment "continue in chat" when there are "too many" comments.
 
AJ Henderson
AJ Henderson
@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun what do you mean? that's what I said ;)
good catch
this is what I get for talking online at 4 in the morning
 
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
Torben Gundtofte-Bruun
9:15 AM
@AJHenderson "a Freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother" ;-)
 
 
5 hours later…
Beofett
Beofett
2:43 PM
@RoryAlsop and @JeremyMiller Thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I'll leave the answer (although I had to move the comments to chat, as they were getting out of hand).
@JeremyMiller Yep, a meta question was posted. No response from the community team yet, though.
 
 
5 hours later…
Ida
Ida
8:13 PM
@medica Sometimes someone here posts an answer I disagree with, and sometimes I feel they post something that 'attacks' my personal parenting philosophy.
I think you have to ignore something like that, and not start a discussion, it is super hard though.
I personally try hard to differentiate between something I a) just disagree with b) disagree with and find harmful/unhelpful c) a plain unhelpful or badly written answer. for a) the solution is to write a good answer with the opposite viewpoint, for b) it is downvote + comment and write a better answer c) downvote. (and maybe write a bette…
3
 
 
1 hour later…
Jeremy Miller
Jeremy Miller
9:22 PM
@Ida I like your distinctions and constructive attitude!
 
medica
medica
10:20 PM
@Ida - thanks! I don't feel it's insulting just me, that's what I was having a hard time with. My experience on a number of SE sites is that good answers are more dispassionate and supportable. Good answers are useful. They address the OP's concern. This is just so different from what I'm used to. Anyway, I hope to be able to adhere to your sage advice.
@Ida - I don't want to sound glib. It really is good advice. Thanks for answering. :)
 

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