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Scimonster
Scimonster
6:29 PM
Intro: "The vast, complex realms of Jewish law and tradition..." -- not sure "realms" is the best word here
"Each question has a web address printed at the bottom" - that got moved to the top
"This is our first publication for print" -- was, but we have more now. :)
"Passover 5773" -- no comment necessary
TOC - "judge will I – serve will they that nation the also And" (why did it copy like that?) -- not sure we need the hyphen. Something for @TRiG (unpingable). ;)
 
Scimonster
Scimonster
6:53 PM
pg5 -- i think "divrei torah" et. al. be italicized, unless they fall under the common usage exception
pg9 -- "The Beitzah for the Seder Plate." (title) -- remove the period
In case you can't tell, i'm doing a full proofreading, since i wasn't around to do that for the first edition. :)
pg9 -- worth adding in the last line of @DoubleAA's answer here?
p10 -- missing a space in "זכרvs. זכרון"
Mar 7 at 16:46, by Scimonster
We could also avoid wasting space by not caring about adding a pagebreak between each major section.
pg11, first line -- i think "Talmud" should be capitalized
As should "Exodus" a couple lines down
Italicize "pilpul"
WAF וAlex דאמרי תרוייהו? But only WAF answered that!
The reference to footnote 4 should be after the comma. (Going according to style guides i've learned.)
p12, Yahu's answer has an inconsistent method of citing a se'if; once with a comma, once a space. I recommend changing both to the standard colon.
Irrelevant to printing but out of curiosity, why are some of the links clickable and some aren't? Like the question link on p13 isn't, while previous ones (that i tried at least) have been.
p13 - "(sic)" should use square bracket's since it's already inside round ones.
p14, question -- decapitalize "lechem oni"
"matzarepresents," and "matza'sdesignation" -- missing a space
Here too, the footnotes should be after the punctuation.
p15 '"we eat either chametz or matzah"' -- i would bold "either", as i nearly missed what the difference was. Maybe in the next quote also, though it's less imperative the second time, and with the existing text.
p16 "Please do not tell me "Ha Lachma Anya,"..." -- This is more a question for the OP, but did they really mean Ha Lachma Anya, or Avadim Hayinu?
Did you mean "Ha Lachma Anya" or "Avadim Hayinu" when saying "please don't tell me..."? Because i've often heard the second given as a simple answer, but never the first. — Scimonster 7 secs ago
Footnote after punctuation again. @IsaacMoses Does your style guide disagree?
p17 -- italicize “mesheubad”
p19 "Why is the wicked son sanctioned for doing what the wise son does?" -- just a suggestion, but should we change "does" to "says"?
p21 -- italicize "Parashat Hachodesh", and perhaps "Rosh Chodesh"
A bunch of non-italicized transliterations in Fred's answer on the next page
Isaac's answer there has an extra space before the parenthesis in "and then on 12:3-13 ),"
p26 -- until now we haven't been italicizing names of sefarim/authors, but this has Abarbanel italicized.
p28, jake's answer -- where did that translation come from? In this context, it seems important to mention. It seems to be something done in the original editing, as it's not in the post on-site. @DoubleAA who originally added it.
p29 "look at you strangely for trying to identify them. it strikes me" -- sentence starts with a lowercase i. ;)
 
Scimonster
Scimonster
8:28 PM
p31 -- italicize "zuhama"
josh waxman doesn't capitalize his username. It's not as significant as in the case of Sam and sam in C-MY?, but still...
p31 -- add translation for the text of Rabban Gamliel's statement?
don't use the acronym HKB"H, as not everyone will be familiar with it
p34 - italicize “v’hiskadishchem”, "Netilas Yadayim", "Teruma", and "bentching"
What is it about italicizing that loses following spaces? p35, "marorwhen" and "charosesfor"
p36 -- more missing italics, such as on "(asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav)" and more. (b’rachot, kiddush, shehechiyanu, at least)
p37 -- vulcandeathgrip is now known as "not-allowed to change my name"
I think "(Likkutey Taamim Uminhagim)" should be in italics
"(vol. 11 pg. 97-100, and pg. 210-213)." -- should this be moved to a footnote?
p40 "And Alex added:" -- can we have a linebreak before this, without a full paragraph break? I might also qualify this statement with an "if", in accordance with @IsaacMoses's comments there.
@Alex - ... if the gift is given from parent to child, and the child is a Halachic minor (under 12/13), right? — Isaac Moses Feb 20 '12 at 15:47
@Alex, I've definitely seen both grandparents giving gifts to grandchildren and young teenagers participating in the game. — Isaac Moses Feb 20 '12 at 15:53
So we would have something like this:
> On top of that, if the recipients are children (under age 12/13), who can't really halachically acquire things on their own behalf anyway, then when the parent gives the child the afikoman present, there's no real transfer of ownership.
"Why is there Pesach Sheini - The Second Passover?" -- this was probably put in Tzafun in v1.0 over a lack of any other questions, but it doesn't really fit 100%. Any suggestions for a more appropriate section? Or is it OK here?
It needs several italicizations. (I enjoy making up long words.) This includes the Latin ex nihilo on the next page.
p42 -- you know what needs to be done to "(bircas hamazon)"
"The Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 35:2) takes נעזב, translated above as “be abandoned”, in the active sense:" -- i would amend this to: "... translated above as “be abandoned” (passive voice) ..." to emphasize and clarify the comparison.
p43 - Why is the last paragraph of Fred's answer italicized?
"Kos Shel Eliyahu" -- italics, multiple times
p45 "and the leader recites each of the “Ana Hashem” verses followed by the others." -- Slightly unclear grammar here. I mean, it's understandable, but at first glance "the others" might be the rest of the verses. Maybe write "and the leader, followed by the others, recites each of the "Ana Hashem" verses."
And italicize “Ki LeOlam Chasdo”, “Hodu”, and “Ana Hashem”
p46 -- typo in "Haggados of the Vlna Gaon"
and italicize (surprise, surprise) Chad Gadya.
p47, Rabbi Michael Tzadok's answeer -- not sure what the value of Azuz is, but i think he gets a healthy salary. ;)
p49 "Achdut (unity) and brotherly love (ahavat Israel)" -- let's be consistent as to whether the English or Hebrew (+ italics!) is in the parentheses. Probably put the Hebrew outside.
"Rabbi Y. L. HaKohen Maimon (Chagim UMo’adim pp. 171-192, especially p. 191)" -- perhaps move some of that to a footnote?
@IsaacMoses If we're including the continuation from our mi-yodeya-series, i agree. If not, i would finish with Chad Gadya instead.
Credits, "We’d like to extend special thanks for fastidious proofreading to:" -- Mentioning this in the list so you don't forget. :)
Since there's space at the bottom of the last page, definitely plug our other 3 books.
And that's it for now. Yasher Koach @IsaacMoses for putting together this draft!
(Wow, that's a lot of corrections. Much of it is missing italics and some minor typos. Plus some late at night nonsense.)
 

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