Stack Exchange
log in

SomeShinyObject

 2020 Parenting Moderator Election Chat

Open Discussion for parenting.stackexchange.com/election/2
SomeShinyObject
May 31, 2020 12:29
My weekends are typically full of playing with the kids, making food, woodworking, and relaxing with the family so I’m not around my devices a whole lot. I‘ll typically lurk in the chat. Anyway, all good conversation and I’m reading all the thoughts being posted here.
SomeShinyObject
May 31, 2020 12:25
I should be checking the chat more frequently but weekends tend to be pretty busy. I hope my absence isnt noted as a bad thing. I typically have parenting and stackoverflow open on a second monitor while I work.
SomeShinyObject
May 29, 2020 23:57
@anongoodnurse I hope that answers your questions.
SomeShinyObject
May 29, 2020 23:57
For your question #2, that CM should be held accountable for the action. Based on the infraction they should either be reprimanded and apologize to those they affected and on the extreme, be asked to resign. A diamond, just like a police badge or a military rank, doesn’t make you above the law. It makes people know that you should be upheld to the highest standard of the law.
SomeShinyObject
May 29, 2020 23:54
As they say, three heads are better than one. I don’t doubt that my parenting stance is different from other moderators here or other members here. At the end of the day, to be honest, this is the internet. I think I can separate moderation of the site and being a participating member of the site. Proper communication and dispute resolution are key.
SomeShinyObject
May 28, 2020 00:16
I don't mind sharing either by the way. Talking about my parenting style and the past related to all of my children is therapeutic in a way. Glad to know there are others out there with doubts and questions.
SomeShinyObject
May 28, 2020 00:16
@anongoodnurse We have discussed our parenting before. I'm still on the young end but it's kind of weird how your regrets start to build up. It makes it sound all negative though. I think my kids are doing just fine.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 23:01
If the actions of my children are a reflection of my wife and my parenting, I'd say we are on the right track.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 23:01
My kids listen to me. They want to spend time with me. They're excited to see me when I'm around (usually). I take interest in what they're doing and lead and encourage to develop those interests more. They cry and I hold them. They complain and I listen. The school age one does his homework faithfully, takes care of his 2 year old brother and distracts him and plays with him when my wife and I can't. Gets him dressed after his shower.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:56
And now too with home life, when I get home from work and my middle son comes *racing* around the corner to the front door just to see me walk in so he can say "ただいま", giggle at me, and give me an open arm hug. In those moments I tend to think I'm doing ok as a parent.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:56
However...all those problems, all those insecurities of my self as a parent melt away when I call my kids who I don't live with and at the end of the phone call I say "I love you guys" and they respond with the absolute cutest "I LOVE YOU TOO DADDY!" That makes it all the better.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:56
This is my self-ideal, the image I have propped up in my mind that every day I will be the absolute BEST parent that I can possibly be, rolling around on the floor, playing, going outside on long walks, and eating ice cream in our PJs before bed. That, however, is unsustainable. We all know it. I know it, but for some reason when I fall short, that weighs on me more than any other thing.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:56
In another realm, I feel like a crappy parent because I have remarried, and we have three kids together. Some days I come home from work just absolutely beat and have little to no patience and I just want to get them into bed and out of my hair so I can have some quiet time.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:56
Most days? I feel like a crappy parent. I have 5 kids, two of them I don't see frequently because they live with their mom due to divorce rules in Japan where custody typically goes to the mother. No concept of split-custody either. I wrestle daily with whether leaving was the right thing just to ensure being around them.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:55
@EngrStudent this was a loaded question and perhaps I'm oversharing but here is my answer
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 22:44
@EngrStudent, Your question on Stephie's post is really interesting and I believe warranted. In my opinion, it'd be hard for a non-parent to moderate Parenting.SE. How one is as a parent, and more specifically, how one sees themselves as a parent may play an important role for their empathy of other parents coming here seeking help. If you don't mind, I'm going to answer your question.
 

 The Playground

General discussion for parenting.stackexchange.com
1
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:49
I.e. why the children don't need full unrestricted access to the internet. They don't need to know all the details of what is out there that they could accidentally find. They need to trust that you know what is best for them.
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:48
Or when you can necessarily explain the reasoning without making the child curious to a point of danger
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:47
It should always be used as a last resort.
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:47
@anongoodnurse Thanks for the validation.
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:47
The asker mentioned they didn’t want to use “my house, my rules” as a justification. I stated in my answer that although it shouldn’t be lorded over them, my house, my rules is appropriate in some situations. I think of it as the nuclear option. Discussion with a child and coming to an agreement about some things is great but sometimes it needs to be understood that there exists a Boundary and no amount of discussion/arguing/ defiance will shift the boundary.
SomeShinyObject
May 27, 2020 23:47
@stephie Just some commenting on my answer of the most recent question about teen sleep.
SomeShinyObject
May 26, 2020 23:09
Can we have a discussion real quick? This isn't question worthy at all, but I want to gauge everyone else's opinions. I'm going to throw out a phrase common in parenting and I want others to respond. "My house, my rules"
SomeShinyObject
Feb 18, 2020 04:04
So....SE is kinda jacked up huh. Haven't really been keeping abreast with everything post-Monica debacle. I signed out at the very beginning it seems.
SomeShinyObject
Feb 18, 2020 00:15
@anongoodnurse Definitely not discouraged. I think that is the constant fear of all parents. "What could I have done differently?"
I have 5 kids to worry about. Wondering if I'm doing it right is constantly in my head.
SomeShinyObject
Feb 17, 2020 00:59
And then a long series of serial lying ensued even after that. I hope we finally have that under control. After the last major lie, he had to write a complete notebook of lines saying "もううそはつけません”　(I will stop lying) before he did anything relatively fun (literally all fun was cancelled until this notebook was completed).
SomeShinyObject
Feb 17, 2020 00:55
So she goes and asks him "Did you steal something from the store?"
"No"
"Did you steal something from the store? If you tell me now, it would be much better for you because if we find out later, terrible things will happen"
"I stole from the store."
SomeShinyObject
Feb 17, 2020 00:54
@anongoodnurse My son stole a little action figure from a store one time. He was acting EXTREMELY shady on the drive home saying things like "When I get home, I immediately need to go home to my room" and he also made up a story about his friend who also took an action figure from a store one time. When we got home, he walked up the stairs to his room...backwards. It was at that point, I started putting two and two together. I asked mama to go ask him if he stole something.
SomeShinyObject
Feb 16, 2020 23:16
@Joe Lying is the worst! I hate it when my kids lie. And they are so terrible at it too.
SomeShinyObject
Jan 11, 2019 06:18
@anongoodnurse No need to apologize.
SomeShinyObject
Jan 10, 2019 15:57
This should have been stated/changed prior to letting the vote drag on to its initial declared ending date. Doesn’t seem fair the rules are changing at the 11th hour.
SomeShinyObject
Jan 10, 2019 01:51
I flagged the featured meta question for opting out. It has been 20 days since the question was posted.
SomeShinyObject
Dec 27, 2018 01:10
I'm pretty excited about them. I hope over time he gets excited about them too. I always regret not doing anything with my biology minor so I hope it's not some sort of vicarious living situation :D
SomeShinyObject
Dec 27, 2018 00:26
Anyone else heard of these types of books before?
SomeShinyObject
Dec 27, 2018 00:26
I got Organic Chemistry for Babies and some other science-based children's books for my 10 month old for Christmas and I have to say I'm impressed. Something I'm actually interested in while reading before bedtime.
SomeShinyObject
Dec 20, 2018 23:40
I'm going to put my vote in the comments. Take that as a +1 for the vote.
SomeShinyObject
Dec 20, 2018 23:39
0
Q: What to do about the HNQ?

SomeShinyObjectReferring to this question about opting out of the HNQ (hot network questions) listings, what shall we as Parenting.SE do? Below this question are two answers: One to opt-out of no longer appearing in the HNQ list when we have a popular question. One to continue to be listed on the HNQ when we...

discussion
SomeShinyObject
Oct 7, 2018 22:16
I'm failing to understand why this question has been put on hold: parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/34974/…
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:16
Alright. Thanks for the chat. Back to work now :-)
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:16
@anongoodnurse I was actually discussing the topic with a friend of mine at work this morning and as I explained he started going the route of "oh yea it makes since that it could help sleep" so I had to course-correct him and say pretty much what we discussed
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:14
Thanks! Beautiful discourse :-D
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:13
@anongoodnurse Ok edits made. I understand your persistence. I tend to be pretty pedantic so I hope my comments didn't come off as confrontational
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:07
Can you clean up the comments post-edit?
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:07
I'm going to make an edit in my answer. How about that? I think it will clear up some of the noise.
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:05
It is a short question, I'll agree, but the intent of my answer wasn't to focus on the sleeping portion. I didn't use sleep in any of my searches to find that article. It just seemed to be the most substantive in terms of research.
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:04
Hmm I didn't think it was possible to double reference someone's name
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:03
Just as any other example would have fit e.g. helps baby's metabolism or helps baby's energy during the day. So the core question can be summed up as "does milk change throughout the day" and the study supports what OP's partner is stating.
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:01
"Her reasoning for this is a belief that the milk changes depending upon the time of day it is produced..." and it does. The addition for sleep is an added example by OP as I have interpreted it.
 

 Discussion on question by Christian S…

Imported from a comment discussion on parenting.stackexchange....
SomeShinyObject
Nov 6, 2018 04:45
I don't see how someone can be deeply offended by any of this, especially if this is the "norm" in Germany. I question how you'd treat your child if one day he came to the conclusion that a religion was for him. Seems like a lot of huff and puff over three simple solutions to the problem. 1. Be honest with your feelings (feelings, not facts because you may be wrong after all) about religion with your child *without* indoctrinating atheism yourself, 2. Find a school that doesn't have a denomination (private), or 3. Don't send them to school.
 

 Discussion on answer by SomeShinyObje…

Imported from a comment discussion on parenting.stackexchange....
SomeShinyObject
May 30, 2018 04:13
@anongoodnurse actually as far as the OPs question, his partner is correct based on information in the study. Milk expressed at night time is different than day time milk. The study questions whether or not the different chemicals have an affect on sleep to which it ruled “possible”.