Ida

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Discussion between Jeff.Clark and Erik

Imported from a comment discussion on parenting.stackexchange....

Ida

May 10, 2016 22:46

I agree with beofett that you are mixing up gender roles and homosexuality.

Ida

May 10, 2016 22:45

My main disagreement with you post is that you imply you have control over your child's sexual orientation. I am not sure what you mean by telling them that 'this behavior is homosexual'. I am not sure what 'homosexual behavior' is, other than having homosexual sex or other relations. Since the OP is referring to 'a child' and not 'a teen' I can't think they would have this.

The Playground

General discussion for parenting.stackexchange.com

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:28

In the end I don't know if the organisation does more good than bad or vice versa, but everything is a balance. They do provide a lot of good information and resources for families and parents as far as I know, and advocate for early intervention programs.

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:27

there is probably a balance to be found somewhere, but I do find some of these observations interesting. As the article I linked in the comment, the disagreements about Autism Speaks is quite widespread.

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:25

He didn't talk a lot about the issues that depending on where you are on the spectrum some people can never live independently, but he did go into a number of organisations that instead advocate for accept or autistic people or other 'non neuro-typical'

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:24

The blog was around the time of the CA measles outbreak. It touched on the Autism Speaks and their past around anti vaccine, but also how they keep saying how terrible it is for a family to have a child with autism

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:22

The main point of the blog was very interesting - basically a guy saying that regardless of the fact that there is no link between vaccines and autism, even if there WAS; the anti vax argument rests on the fact that it is better for your child to catch a potentially deadly disease (such as measles) than to be like him

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:21

I happened to read a couple of interesting articles/blogs (links long gone) from adults with autism and some of their critiques of Autism Speaks. They are not anti-vax any longer, but afaik they carried on the 'vaccine concern' a long time after the study was refuted

Ida

Feb 24, 2016 23:20

@anongoodnurse regarding Autism Speaks - I don't have any personal experience with the organisation, but for various reasons I am interested in the debate around autism. I have small children, it is something often discussed in media. .

Ida

Jun 28, 2015 00:09

Thanks @Joe that makes sense. I just wondered if they had any hidden affliction, since sometimes they get a little political? Also it bugs me they don't downrate products with 'natural' scents such as lavender and citrus. I do find them useful, as you I think they are a very extensive, use friendly site.

Ida

Jun 26, 2015 17:49

I basically use EWG skindeep to pick all skincare products, detergents and so forth for my kids and partly my family.

Ida

Jun 26, 2015 17:48

@Joe I'm interested in your comment on the answer to this question (parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/20867/…). Can you elaborate why you don't consider EWG unbiased? I figured this was a better discussion in chat

Ida

Oct 14, 2014 19:56

@JeremyMiller as anecdotal evidence, I was stopped by the police once for speeding with a baby (bucket seat) in the car, and my husband was stopped once with all of us in the car (toddler + baby). The cops did not as much as look at the car seats and whether they were legal, kids and seats correctly installed etc. Kid + the seat looks ok seems to be good enough. I think it would matter more if you get involved with CPS or in a custody case, but who knows?

Ida

Oct 10, 2014 17:29

@JeremyMiller Washington is like that - and I don't mind the age/height requirement as much (as we have some car seat to shoulder belt harnessed high backed boosters that are approved up to that max height/weight, so we don't have to replace them), but what I really, really hate is the 13 and below has to go in back seat. That is 2 years before they can DRIVE?

Ida

Oct 9, 2014 18:57

true.

Ida

Oct 9, 2014 18:52

well then - problem solved?

Ida

Oct 9, 2014 18:49

@Beofett I think it might be valid, even though it strikes most of us as silly. I can imagine lots of other 'old wives tales' which would not get voted to close, such as baby feeding questions (where there are a LOT of non-scientific 'rules' people seem to follow!)

Ida

Oct 6, 2014 18:14

@medica thanks - I see that @Beofett posted something similar (but better worded) in meta :).

Ida

Oct 3, 2014 20:13

@medica Sometimes someone here posts an answer I disagree with, and sometimes I feel they post something that 'attacks' my personal parenting philosophy.
I think you have to ignore something like that, and not start a discussion, it is super hard though.
I personally try hard to differentiate between something I a) just disagree with b) disagree with and find harmful/unhelpful c) a plain unhelpful or badly written answer. for a) the solution is to write a good answer with the opposite viewpoint, for b) it is downvote + comment and write a better answer c) downvote. (and maybe write a bette…

Ida

Sep 30, 2014 18:26

parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/14969/… I keep getting an error when I upvote @Beofett's answer.

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 20:51

@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun well, no #2 is called: Harald! Nice one! He gets spelled Harold a lot, but we don't mind.

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 19:05

@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun Yeah I understand that medical issues should be referred to a doctor - I was just wondering if the outcome of your discussion yielded anything that could be added, as it seemed from the comments you had tried some of thing things in the answer. I thought the question was really interesting. Thanks!

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 18:30

So. Come up with 2 boys names? Yeah, the second one was hard. Especially as we knew right from the beginning if we got a girl we would name her Astrid - but no girls for us.

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 18:30

And Torben - your name is easy to pronounce, but I did know right away you were Danish :D (as am I). We wanted our kids to be names something a) Danish/Nordic b) non-Christian c) not the name of deity (aka not Thor) d) short (long last name) e) More than 1 syllable e) similarly pronounced in both Danish and English and f) not too weird (no Ragnar, though I love the name).

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 18:26

In addition, I admire the diplomacy and restraint you exercised commenting on the latter 2 answers.

Ida

Sep 18, 2014 18:25

@TorbenGundtofte-Bruun About your authority question - I hope you will update with pointers if you find good help talking to another user. I don't think my oldest will be quite like that (3.5 year old), some of his behavior is typical 3 year old, so I will only worry if it continues. OTOH, I think what you figure our could be useful, probably for many users.

Ida

Sep 16, 2014 22:17

@AJHenderson congratulations!

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 20:04

I think that if the seat looks 'high quality' and the obvious rules are followed (such as position of the child) I doubt you will be 'in trouble'. It is not as the seat will turn unsafe once you go to another country.

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 20:03

I think I would try and see if there are any 'obvious' differences. In the US tether is optional, in Canada mandatory. In my state in the US you have to seat the kid facing backwards until 1 year of age (they recommend 2), inDenmark it is optional.

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 20:01

I think the problem is that different countries doesn't accept each others tests or standards - and it is strange. I know forinstance with helmets, almost ANY helmet you buy is cerfified both for US and EU standards

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 20:00

I find this interesting, as I would think they would reuse as many parts as possible

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 20:00

the convertible car seats look a bit different too as does the high backed boosters

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 19:59

I think you may be a little out of luck. I checked britax site in Denmark (I'm Danish), Australia and the US, and the products are vastly different. For instance you cannot use a baby cot (where the baby lies flat) in the US, so they don't sell one. What is more, the AU and DK one looked very different

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 19:58

ahh ok. It looked like it was a standard for the car (aka ISOFIX) to me for a moment.

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 19:50

Btw I couldn't find anything good results for ECE44.04 when searching - which country uses this standard? What is the need for you to have a carseat that fulfills both? I'm curious ;).

Ida

Jul 30, 2014 18:22

I don't know the specifics of the standards in question, but many manufacturers makes seats there are approved in several countries (Britax comes to mind). If I were you, I would look for a manufacturer who sells seats in both countries where the standard applies, and then email them. What you may run into is that the same seat is sold under different names, with different 'approval stickers' on - so that technically you can't use it in two different places. Maybe a manufacturer can work with you.

Ida

Jul 25, 2014 18:07

the when the baby was 4 months he took 2 months leave. (we are in the US and he had 1 month paid, one unpaid). We had one month together all of us as a family, and then he did one month after I went back to work, when the baby was 5-6 month old. It was GREAT for him to bond with the baby like that, also great for me as a mom to know that he could figure it out. If your wife has longer leave, I would do it later, my brother (in Denmark) took leave when his kids where about 9 months - they are more fun.

Ida

Jul 25, 2014 18:04

as for paternity leave, my husband took 14 days of vacation right after the baby was was born for our first, and 1 week for the second (since my parents had come). The important thing is that your wife needs someone else with her to help her. Just to hold the baby so she can get a shower, to bring her tea/water so she drinks enough (esp if breastfeeding), to make dinner etc. Labor recovery is a real thing.

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:37

I guess we disagree slightly :). I'm off. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy :)

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:35

but being around peers with better habits might be able to help them with that.

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:26

well, maybe. If you put all the disadvantaged kids in one school, you have no way of 'pulling up' anyone. You contribute to the division of society. But I'm a hippie that way - I guess this is politics now, so Ill shut up :)

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:24

I don't like testing before high school, and even not as high school entry - I just think it is unfair to students who have less support at home.

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:23

@AJHenderson I don't know. But schoolboards are probably terrifying.

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:20

@AJHenderson I think @JamesSnell metioned it was anonymous. they still take siblings and stuff into account, which makes sense.

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:19

also, I don't understand the 'connected' comment? How does that help in an anonymous lottery?

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 19:18

@AJHenderson I guess we disagree - first of I don't believe it make any sense to test children that young, and secondly it would be highly detrimental to 'weaker' students to go the same school, and an unfair punishment for simply having poorer and/or less educated parents (as there is a clear correlation between what is learned in pre-school years and poverty, at least in the US).

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 18:46

@AJHenderson I don't really see how else they can do it? You have to have classroom limits, you have to assign children to schools. What other process would lead to less 'abuse'?

Ida

Jul 3, 2014 18:35

@AJHenderson well, you never know. Number 1 was 4 weeks early (everything was normal), and number 2 was right on time. Most babies are a little late though!

Discussion on question by Mariana G.:…

Imported from a comment discussion on parenting.stackexchange....

Ida

Apr 7, 2015 23:37

@MarianaG. Most research (while I don't have it handy) points to sexual orientation and gender identity being something you are born with. Nothing you can do will make your son more or less gay, in my opinion. I think you doing great at letting son use his imagination and any preferences for toys or clothes should not be seen as indicators of anything.
It sounds like your ex and his girlfriend are narrow minded, and since it will be hard to change their mind about being gay is 'bad', you should point out that your son wants boy clothing and that playing with dolls will make him a great fath…

Ida

Apr 7, 2015 21:55

From the comments here it sounds like you are more concerned about what to do with your son's dad. If there are multiple things that makes him behave like a bad father, especially if your son is afraid of him, consider the custody options. Could you limit him to see your son only under supervision? That way your son can get to know his dad, but dad's bad behavior may be curbed.