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XKCD
Fri 20:21
Geologists claim it's because the earlier Cenozoic used to be called the Tertiary, but that's just a ruse to hide the secret third geologic period, between the Neogene and the Quaternary, that they won't tell us about.
XKCD
Wed 19:21
"And in maritime news, the Coast Guard is on the scene today after an apparent collision between two lighthouses."
XKCD
Jul 21 15:48
Washington, DC: Eastern gray squirrel, Amur honeysuckle. Puerto Rico: Crested anole, sea grape. US as a whole: Mallard, eastern poison ivy.
XKCD
Jul 18 22:24
Maybe encouraging the publication of null results isn't enough--maybe we need a journal devoted to publishing results the study authors find personally annoying.
XKCD
Jul 16 22:07
This is almost as bad as the time I signed up for a purely partisan fishing expedition.
XKCD
Jul 15 04:11
'Tin pest' makes more sense to me. Tin just doesn't want to be locked down in a shape like that. I get it. But why would any metal want to grow hair??
XKCD
Jul 11 17:03
That was quicker than usual! The cabin's sprinkler system often makes it really hard to keep anything lit.
XKCD
Jul 9 20:15
We're building on our earlier success getting web developers to pay to change the backslashes in our displayed payment URL to forward slashes.
XKCD
Jul 7 19:58
After determining that his body was full of pipes carrying iron-rich fluid, our current theory is that the dagger-shaped object precipitated within the wound.
XKCD
Jul 4 15:21
Low gravity can cause bone loss, so we're pleased to report that, since we initiated capsule motion, the number of bones in each crew member has been steadily increasing.
XKCD
Jul 3 03:20
Starting a meta-leaderboard for tracking who holds the record for ranking behind the most distinct people on an online leaderboard.
XKCD
Jun 30 12:31
It's important for devices to have internet connectivity so the manufacturer can patch remote exploits.
XKCD
Jun 28 01:03
To combat the threat, many airlines are installing wing-mounted spray bottles.
XKCD
Jun 25 19:31
Once you add the balloons into the model, it makes forecasting easier overall--the forecast is always 'cold and dark, with minimal solar-driven convection.'
XKCD
Jun 25 02:57
'This HAZMAT container contains radioactive material with activity of one becquerel.' 'So, like, a single banana slice?'
XKCD
Jun 20 18:59
We're getting a lot of complaints from commuters who were routed onto a coaster, but the theme park patrons who spent hours stuck on an intercity line are also not happy.
XKCD
Jun 18 20:43
Numbers can be tricky. On the day of my 110th birthday, I'll be one day younger than John Tukey was on his.
XKCD
Jun 16 18:43
Sure, this exoplanet we discovered may seem hostile to life, but our calculations suggest it's actually in the accretion disc's habitable zone.
XKCD
Jun 13 12:28
[desperately] Maybe this is from some country where they use commas as decimal points, and also as digit separators after the decimal, and also use random other characters for decoration???
XKCD
Jun 11 21:58
If you think curiosity without rigor is bad, you should see rigor without curiosity.
XKCD
Jun 9 21:24
With a good battery, the device can easily last for 5 or 10 years, although the walls probably won't.
XKCD
Jun 7 02:09
The installation of the pipes on the inside of the insulation can be challenging, especially when the neighbor could come home at any minute.
XKCD
Jun 4 21:50
Ultimately, history would imperfectly record the story of the Foal of Troy.
XKCD
Jun 3 01:16
Pontoon bridges are just linear open-sided waterbeds.
XKCD
May 31 01:23
They say it's probably safe to keep orbiting for a while, but if it stays on or starts flashing we might have to call someone.
XKCD
May 28 22:13
Under the two-domain system, anyone who punches you is technically an Archaean pathogen.
XKCD
May 27 03:45
Patients at least found it to be an improvement over Millikan's incredibly messy and unpleasant oil drop suspension procedure.
XKCD
May 23 14:11
A 5% efficiency gain at the cost of a 99% efficiency loss
XKCD
May 21 23:39
169 is a baker's gross.
XKCD
May 19 21:58
Applying renormalization to bullies successfully transformed Pete & Pete's Endless Mike into Finite Mike.
XKCD
May 16 20:44
https://xkcd.com/3090/
xkcd.com
Sail Physics

1747368000
XKCD
May 14 18:40
Scholars are still debating whether the current period is post-postmodern or neo-contemporary.
XKCD
May 13 02:19
P.S. If you have time travel, come to my birthday party Saturday!
XKCD
May 9 21:37
Reductio ad absurdum fails when reality is absurd.
XKCD
May 8 04:24
Frankly, given their extreme gravitational fields and general instability, even 12-inch globes should probably be banned.
XKCD
May 6 05:13
In addition to gravity, burritos interact through the strong, weak, and electromagnetic forces, which is believed to be a major contributor to their popularity.
XKCD
May 3 00:10
Unstoppable force-carrying particles can't interact with immovable matter by definition.
XKCD
Apr 30 14:42
Juno mission data suggests that Jupiter actually contains Matryoshka doll-style nested copies of every other planet in the Solar System.
XKCD
Apr 28 22:06
It's important to learn the moves that take you into the vortex, but it's best not to study vortex itself too closely. Even grandmasters who have built up a tolerance lose the ability to play for a few hours after studying it.
XKCD
Apr 25 15:35
Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.
XKCD
Apr 23 23:43
After initial tests created a series of large holes in the wall of the lab, the higher-power Scanning Tunneling Tennis Ball Microscope project was quickly shut down.
XKCD
Apr 21 15:11
'Wow, that must be why you swallow so many of them per year!' 'No, that's spiders. You swallow WAY more ants.'
XKCD
Apr 19 02:51
The biggest expense was installing the mantle ducts to keep the carbonate-silicate cycle operating.
XKCD
Apr 17 06:45
Our anti-de Sitter club is small at the moment, but I've started corresponding with the conformal field theory people.
XKCD
Apr 15 05:03
When you worry that you're missing out on something by not making both choices simultaneously by quantum superposition, that's called phomo.
XKCD
Apr 11 17:26
I have to pay with paper money.
XKCD
Apr 9 19:56
NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
XKCD
Apr 7 23:51
[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!
XKCD
Apr 5 02:34
We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
XKCD
Apr 3 01:37
If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.