« first day (345 days earlier)      last day (344 days later) » 

12:25 AM
@ErikDarling you should offer to spot him at the bench then walk away
in other views, I have ten (10) meetings scheduled for tomorrow
 
12:41 AM
How is that possible?
 
@ErikDarling feels bad man
 
1:05 AM
Are they all 15 minutes?
 
1:24 AM
@ErikDarling seems plausable
Given we don't fully document every database options that will clear the cache
 
 
2 hours later…
3:10 AM
@ErikDarling no
@SeanGallardy because you don't know them all!
 
Formally requesting that someone dunk on me:
1
Q: Why am I getting an implicit conversion of Int / Smallint to Varchar, and is it really impacting Cardinality Estimates?

VoysinmyheadI'm trying to trouble shoot a slow performing query using Show Plan Analysis (SSMS) on the actual execution plan. The Analysis tool points out that estimates for number of rows are off from returned results in a few places in the plan and further gives me some implicit conversion warnings. I don...

 
@jadarnel27 what more is there to say?
 
He added a query plan and table definitions for two of the tables. It looks like the columns match to me, so I don't know what those warnings on the select operator are all about.
 
3:26 AM
he only posted three table create statements
looks like the query references more than 3 tables
remember, OPs are always trying to trick you
 
Haha
Everything is trying to trick me.
Most things are succeeding.
 
that's my only thought
I'm not looking carefully at it
could be that sql server changed the join order
or the transitive property causes the issue
 
I tried to focus in on one of the warnings, [ccd].[profileid]. It's used twice, joining to two other tables that have a profileid column. Those are the 3 tables posted. All of them are ints.
Thus I'm puzzled by the implicit conversion warning.
I don't understand what you mean about the transitive property.
But thanks for taking a glance at it, @Joe!
Brent mentioned you alongside Niko as a columnstore expert in the training today.
 
3:42 AM
this guy @ing me
smh
Left outer join
resource as LoopAgent ON
acd.resourceid=LoopAgent.resourceid AND acd.profileid=LoopAgent.profileid
acd.profileID=ccd.profileID
so ccd.profileID=LoopAgent.profileid
 
Oh! Transitive. I see.
Also, at least I didn't :^) you. Isn't that the one that triggers the weird anime picture?
 
@jadarnel27 anime pictures aren't weird
 
I wasn't generalizing.
 
that one isn't weird
it's great
 
Haha well. It's oddly specific.
It is funny.
 
3:53 AM
print it out and post it in your cubicle
 
I have a feeling my coworkers wouldn't appreciate the humor.
 
oh yeah, you live in the south
 
4:11 AM
Yeah they'd run me out of town. After I was tarred and feathered, of course.
 
 
1 hour later…
5:21 AM
I am frustrated and disappointed by my inability to complete this lab.
I guess I'll go to sleep.
 
@jadarnel27 Seems to me the most likely candidate is the computed column:
[AltKey] AS (concat([sessionid],[sessionseqnum],[nodeid],[profileid])
 
Thanks, Paul.
 
5:43 AM
0
A: Why am I getting an implicit conversion of Int / Smallint to Varchar, and is it really impacting Cardinality Estimates?

Paul WhiteThe implicit conversions are caused by the computed column AltKey: CREATE TABLE dbo.Test ( [sessionid] [decimal](18, 0) NOT NULL, [sessionseqnum] [smallint] NOT NULL, [nodeid] [smallint] NOT NULL, [profileid] [int] NOT NULL, [AltKey] AS CONCAT ( [...

mini-dunk as requested
 
6:04 AM
@PaulWhite Haha thanks!
I knew the room wouldn't let me down.
 
If there's anything I/we can help with on the lab thing, let us know.
Feel free to email privately if that is better for you.
 
@PaulWhite Thanks! I think I'm just in over my head in this training class really.
I may ask you guys some stuff tomorrow. It's nothing critical.
 
I really appreciate the offer.
 
no worries
must be a terrible class
you should hire Erik
he works for free
13 hours ago, by Erik Darling
i may know one who's free
...
Third Windows Update restart in three days.
Thanks Sean
 
 
5 hours later…
11:28 AM
@PaulWhite @JoeObbish is a bad influence on you.
I don't like all these new friends you've been hanging out with... they seem like a bad crowd...
 
fair point
I will dispense with them immediately
 
LMFAO
 
@PaulWhite I have a pc that hasn't booted in Windows for 3 years. What's the estimate for number of restarts needed for update?
 
5
 
Wowza, the dumpster fire raged overnight too
I need more popcorn
 
11:43 AM
link to dumpster fire
 
It's an internal thread...
 
about what?
 
A difference of opinion ;)
 
which division i'm going to be president of?
 
Haha, come to the blue side!
Also, I have a super fun execution plan with a repartition streams almost every other iterator
Also, I'm formally protesting to have Joe's avatar changed to either the icon of a heap or the icon of a hash match
I feel like MODS can make that happen with enough sandwiches and wine
 
11:50 AM
@PaulWhite the <br> issue should be fixed now
@SeanGallardy post it, we won't tell
 
@PaulWhite Kinda - except no Columnstore, all rowstore
@ErikDarling sure, please hold.
@ErikDarling One of my favorite comments from a different dumpster fire: "9:00 am is too early for most. just saying..."
Does PTP anonymize or do I still have to do that?
 
you have to do that
plan explorer is easy to do that with
 
@ErikDarling @PaulWhite FYE: brentozar.com/pastetheplan/?id=HJAGHWUzE
Gym time, I look forward to your trash talk comments when I get back :)
 
12:59 PM
@SeanGallardy is that anonymized? hahaha
 
1:30 PM
Lightly anonymized.
 
@jadarnel27 what were your lab questions?
 
I force-reloaded the page before capturing that screenshot
 
i'm not showing that
even in edge
get a real browser you vagrant
 
lol
let me check it in IE 11 ;-)
 
1:51 PM
doesn't work in IE11, but you'd expect that :-)
Interestingly it does work in Firefox on Android
 
yeah, i definitely have weird shit going on
that post has been a nightmare since i published it
 
I like your style, though.
 
@ErikDarling I'm about to go back into class, I should probably pay attention so I don't fall further behind. I found the parameter sniffing lab to be very challenging. I'll ping you about it later.
 
firefox Responsive Design Mode shows this:
the bottom code box shows correct formatting, what's the difference?
it looks like, from the HTML source, that the <br /> bits have been added in manually.
 
2:00 PM
but i manually removed them
 
weird
what platform is that, by the way?
I mean the code boxes
 
wordpress, crayon plugin
do you see problems here?
 
that looks good at first glance
 
cool
hang on
 
Just goes to prove the age-old adage, longer is better, I guess.
You need to check the count of "your mom" jokes though; I sense a downturn.
 
2:04 PM
alright, refresh the original one
 
still crap, even after a CTRL-F5
 
alright
here's how i know something is wonky
you should see that.
 
interesting.
 
2:08 PM
yep
 
I just tried navigating from the /blog page into 2019/01/what-indexes-dont-do/ - no redirect there, either.
I blame caching.
webpagetest.com says you're not using caching though, but perhaps you are using some kind of Wordpress cache?
 
i have no idea
and i don't wanna spend one more minute trying to figure out one blog post
 
lol, I heard that!
I use WP Super Cache plugin, it seems to work fairly well.
I'm thinking you must be having a cache issue; webpagetest.org/result/… still shows the original page, not the "Moved!" text.
 
lol
0
Q: How can i Update the status of field with a trigger thats ma example

Fryann Martinezcreate trigger MyTrigger on myTable after update as begin set nocount on; update talleres set status='active' where FirstDate=getdate() end go create trigger MyTrigge2 on MyTable for update as begin declare @d DATETIME=getdate(); set nocount on; update talleres set status='Active...

-______________________________________________________________-
 
@ErikDarling managed wordpress uses a caching feature by default, you should be able to manually clear it: godaddy.com/help/clear-your-cache-12444
 
2:17 PM
@ErikDarling Plan explorer choked on it so whatevs
 
2:28 PM
> Upload a plan that looks horrible (and is) and no one yells at me about it :'(
 
it's all heaps, hash joins, and parallelism. Did you steal it from one of Joe's tickets?
2
 
@Forrest SHHHH DONT GIVE IT AWAY
Yeah I saw this and I was like... umm... found your problem.
 
I may be a bit late, but I just saw this:
This is your 1500ms latency in real life situations - https://t.co/guot8khIPX
 
big latepass
 
my latency is substantially higher than 1500ms
 
2:39 PM
@SeanGallardy you sure you can post that? it's not anonymized
in any case I don't really see the problem
that's how SQL Server implements most parallel row mode hash joins
it's not like parallel merge joins are better
 
parallel merge joins are a defect
 
what's this about: 🎈🎉🎈 GROUP BY FRIDAY 13:00 EST
whats a GROUP BY ? I mean besides the obvs
 
@MaxVernon why aren't you asking about the rest of that?
 
@Lamak lol, I already know what the rest of it means ;-)
 
2:44 PM
oooohhh
 
@MaxVernon this place is full of bullies
 
room topic changed to stop the merry-go-round: Gallery, but feel free to request write access if you read SQL Server CU fixes for fun [database-internals] [sql-server]
@Lamak hey, you weren't there!
 
what a dull topic
fix it
 
to what?
 
@JoeObbish I waaas there...I didn't wanna be lamak
 
2:50 PM
there's nothing happening
@Lamak understandable!
 
@Lamak I know!
I had to switch to my phone. My work PC is not responding.
That group by video killed it
oh, an IE11 patch is automatically installing why I'm "working". That explains it.
 
@JoeObbish How about ED Data Discussions?
 
@JoeObbish Sure there is: erikdarlingdata.com/2019/01/…
room topic changed to stop the merry-go-round: 🤔🤔🤔 Interrogate Erik, Friday at noon EST: youtu.be/YFUEvMS7PtA 🤔🤔🤔 Gallery, but feel free to request write access if you read SQL Server CU fixes for fun [database-internals] [sql-server]
 
3:14 PM
@JoeObbish It's just a SCCM SP, you can find it anywhere
@JoeObbish I see an issue, but that's just me I guess :(
 
@SeanGallardy well sure, SQL Server could do a better job
 
holy shit, my mailing list kind of worked
it looks like crap, but hey
ENJOY THE SPAM, FUCKERS
 
> You asked for it, pal.
Well played.
 
I didn't sign up for it.
You should have gotten more of us on the hook before you spilled the beans.
 
w/e
sign up
or i'll give you a noogie
 
3:22 PM
you don't know where I live.
 
@Zane true, but now we know where Erik lives.
 
Oh shit. I should have pinged you the last time I was in Brooklyn.
 
also, @zane - I didn't actually watch the game last night, but well done Minnesota Wild!
 
I was helping a friend clean out his apartment.
 
ahhh
 
3:25 PM
@MaxVernon me either. I had some whiskkey and played games.
 
Watching "The Problems With Optional Operators" - @Erik and @Joe - you dudes are funky!
 
We have youtube blocked here for some silly reason.
 
funky?
 
it's all good. I mean fun, really.
 
harshest feedback I've ever gotten, I think
Max can smell us through youtube
 
3:26 PM
rugged
 
smell-o-vision
very entertaining and great details so far
 
@JoeObbish everyone can
 
I've seen Joe in person and didn't notice any odors so that funk has to be coming from elsewhere.
 
lol. This is the kind of funk I was alluding to... although I like the idea of stink:
> Funk is a music genre that originated in African American communities in the mid-1960s when African American musicians created a rhythmic, danceable new form of music through a mixture of soul music, jazz, and rhythm and blues.
the video has a really great rhythm
 
3:45 PM
I don't even like videos, but this is actually really good.
 
actually factually?
 
so far so good!
 
My favorite part is always Joe on the bouncy ball
 
I've been meaning to watch it next time I WFH
 
4:00 PM
@SeanGallardy this one's for you
0
Q: Scaling SQL Server globally

user169868A simple summary of my question is: What is the current best practice for scaling out a MS SQL server enterprise wide OLTP web application to cope with potentially ten thousand users around the globe? Much of the info online and similar questions date back several years, and I'm not sure what is...

 
@JoeObbish - that cardinality estimator pushdown bug is interesting. nice catch.
 
4:19 PM
@ErikDarling Looks like David is on it - he works in the other building here, super knowledgeable guy
 
goddammit
 
What's wrong superchief?
 
i added a newsletter signup widget and it's all out of whack
grant looks like a very strange gnome
I am so ready for #sqlbits in Manchester. Oh, and I might take in a @ManCity game.
 
yikes. Looks a bit homeless.
 
"you kids got some fingernails for me?"
 
4:28 PM
AMIRITE
 
@ErikDarling funky
 
email+nospamfromerik@outlook.com
:P
 
what is this about
 
I was trying to subscribe
 
i've taken the liberty of subscribing you anyway
welcome to the club!
 
4:39 PM
So what are we getting here? Workout tips or whiskey recommendations?
 
nudes
hardcore nudes
 
Sweeet.
 
what the hell
I preordered a game and it's not available
is this really that hard?
 
Finally someone is bringing hardcore nudity to the world of database consulting. It's about damn time.
@JoeObbish on what service?
 
best buy
 
4:48 PM
more like worst buy ha ha ha
 
Oh. Physical copy
 
I do look forward to the day when digital games are out of stock
@ErikDarling more like "no buy"
@ErikDarling Should I bring my full weeaboo wrath down on them?
 
Wait? And they don't have them? Usually there's a bajillion copies thus making pre orders irrelevant. What game?
 
bust buy
 
@Zane yes, the whole thing is incredibly stupid
just set aside a copy. is it really that hard?
hell, the store opens at 10 AM
the out of stock email was sent at 10:03 AM
it's not that popular of a game
 
4:49 PM
so uh
what game?
 
don't worry about it
 
I'm gonna guess then.
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive edition.
 
you've never heard of it
 
I play a lot of games.
 
battletoads
 
4:51 PM
I have a Virtual Boy.
@ErikDarling I've got that.
 
do you use it?
 
@JoeObbish I brought it to a bro bar once. That was pretty funny.
Not often. It's horrible to play.
 
still, you're hardcore
I am casual by comparison
 
Some would say I'm hardcore. Others would say I'm bad with money.
I just like trying old games. It's fun.
I really thought I'd be right with that Tales of Vesperia. Type of game that ends up not having enough copies because Namco Bandia has no fucking clue what they're doing.
 
I didn't say you were wrong technically
it's entirely best buy's fault, unless they were shipped 0 copies
 
4:58 PM
Well for sure they should have held yours. I just know from working they they constantly shipped less than we ordered with no indication they'd do so.
 
can I blame Microsoft somehow?
it's for the Xbone after all
 
Sweet. I just got offered the full time gig here. Contract to hire just turned into hire.
 
@Zane congrats!
 
Thanks.
 
5:32 PM
@ErikDarling You're the best!
 
@Zane right on!
 
@JoeObbish Always
 
6:20 PM
@Zane Congrats!
Good luck with all your upcoming AG work.
 
@Zane where are you now? no more WF?
 
Make sure you run your file share witnesses in a separate RHS process :P
 
6:37 PM
@jadarnel27 Taking me out of a job, man... not cool.
@jadarnel27 Watch out for those 9E's!
 
@ErikDarling Xcel Energy
@ErikDarling Yeah. I couldn't take anymore Wells Fargo. There was also zero chance of me getting a pay raise without leaving the company.
The only advantage to that job was that if I worked 3 hours a week nobody would even notice.
Everything got so bogged down in process that I'd go weeks at a time before getting approvals to do any work.
 
@SeanGallardy LOL I have a long way to go before I understand AGs on your level! And even moreso the related Windows concepts.
@SeanGallardy What does this mean?
 
@jadarnel27 Exercise left for the reader?
(Channeling my inner @PaulWhite there)
 
6:52 PM
Googling 9E comes up with pictures of guns. Am I on a list now?
 
You've always been on the list.
 
ALL OF THE LISTS
 
You just probably moved up it a little bit.
 
Well that's exciting.
Oh and after all the guns there's some character encoding thing.
 
9E is the Windows Bugcheck code for general health related items that hits clusters more often than stand alone : docs.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-hardware/drivers/debugger/…
 
7:05 PM
@SeanGallardy Ah, thanks for de-mystifying that.
Okay, break time's over.
 
7:26 PM
It's Friday so shouldn't break time lead to just going home?
 
8:07 PM
2
Q: How does SQL recursion actually work?

UnLogicGuysComing to SQL from other programming languages, the structure of a recursive query looks rather odd. Walk through it step by step, and it seems to fall apart. Consider the following simple example: CREATE TABLE #NUMS ( N BIGINT ) ; INSERT INTO #NUMS VALUES (3), (5), (7) ; WITH R AS ( ...

^^^ interesting question
@Zane You would think!
 
@jadarnel27 as an absolute and complete guess, I'd say some form of halloween protection might be involved. 95% likely I'll be proven totally wrong, though.
That, and a cursor, for good measure.
As @PaulWhite once said, trust me to make it into a cursor.
 
8:29 PM
Don't you love when you go to select something and then a bunch of auto load recomendations pop up and you click on the wrong thing.
It's such a great feature.
 
9:16 PM
I made a quick animation for "Execution Plans Suck." I'm not sure I like it in its current form. Thoughts?
user image
2
 
It doesn't suck.
 
9:53 PM
@Zane awesome! congrats. i mean, as long as you like it. if you don't then idk, go drink as much as you're medically allowed to 😁
 
@Forrest databases don't say please
you could consider having the first row fail the filter
and adding open/close
 
you should make the select operator crack a whip
a big sexy whip
 
10:07 PM
You should change the index scan to a table scan. And then have the whole thing fall apart when the dot gets there.
 
@JoeObbish Ha! And thanks for the ideas.
 
you know what'd make a great animation?
forwarded fetches
 
dbo.heapotrouble
 
el_heapo
sir
 
10:40 PM
@ErikDarling (valley girl voice) That's so fetch.
 
mean girls wasn't even in the valley!
what is this
 
generic reference to anything in the 90's
 
@ErikDarling batch mode?
 
11:01 PM
@JoeObbish never heard of it
 
11:15 PM
I actually spent several hours reading up on batch mode yesterday, working towards an animation of it
I'm a ways off still :(
 
well it's easy
take a group of rows
and then throw them in the garbage
 
that's mongodb mode, not batch mode
 

« first day (345 days earlier)      last day (344 days later) »