I thought this question was a troll when I read it, but the OP seems to be sincere. If I were his wife I'd be talking to an attorney about a divorce. The quantity and timing of text messages, the charges for their weekly get-togethers on the credit cards, the sharing the room on a week-long trip should be plenty for a judge or jury to infer a sexual affair, but it is an emotional one for sure. He knows it makes his wife jealous and that she doesn't like it, but he doesn't seem to care. He is putting his wife's needs last. He shouldn't make her put her foot down. — Jason Goemaat just now
12:04 AM
#16446 Jason Goemaat (101 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 126) | posted 31 hours ago by Totally not a throwaway accoun (1062 rep) | Toxicity 0.34333912 | edited 25 hours ago by Totally not a throwaway accoun (1062 rep)
12:52 AM
#16519 DaveG (1095 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by DaveG (1095 rep) | Toxicity 0.111941785
1:23 AM
@sphennings I'm starting to wonder if you're a bot. You're just posting the same comment, and it makes no sense. How is "get counseling" general relationship advice, and how is it not an attempt to answer the question? — Acccumulation 1 min ago
#16519 Acccumulation (432 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by DaveG (1095 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 22 minutes ago by DaveG (1095 rep)
1:40 AM
"That is what it means to be married." There is no singular definition of marriage. Him continuing the relationship would cause his wife distress. Him ending it would himself and Katie distress. He has to decide which of those is more important. There is no one right answer. — Acccumulation 33 secs ago
#16479 Acccumulation (432 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 36) | posted 20 hours ago by Tom (5514 rep) | Toxicity 0.15546119
"social line"? What relationship the OP has with his wife and Katie is between them, not for "society" to decide. Your answer privileges neurotypicality and dominant social norms. — Acccumulation 47 secs ago
#16450 Acccumulation (432 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 47) | posted 31 hours ago by Carduus (488 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 31 hours ago by Carduus (488 rep)
2:12 AM
@AndreAquiles I'm happy for you, man. If you're both in that space right now, go for it. As to what threetimes said about "never recommend rushing into marriage," I'd agree. But there are also many many cases where the lovebirds get married and stay in love past the "honeymoon phase." For a famous instance, see Jeff Bezos and his wife. My dad's cousin and his wife are just like this still — frank 54 secs ago
#2018 frank (109 rep) | A: How to deal when you are too excited about someone you just met? (score: 21) | posted 330 days ago by threetimes (9188 rep) | Toxicity 0.12707615 | edited 145 days ago by Kat (2139 rep)
Basic math means instead of spending time with one women, he's now going to be spending time with 2.5 (1 for Katie, 1.5 for current wife). The hard truth is you probably cannot sustain that "till death do us part" with your existing wife. — Nelson 28 secs ago
#16468 Nelson (408 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 77) | posted 28 hours ago by 1006a (2110 rep) | Toxicity 0.30062822 | edited 5 hours ago by 1006a (2110 rep)
#16488 michael (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 50) | posted 16 hours ago by SomeoneElse (2162 rep) | Toxicity 0.19810793 | edited 13 hours ago by David K (1186 rep)
2:35 AM
Once, a family of 4 cut in line ahead of me, but being non-confrontational, I let them go ahead anyway. Then, two women behind them angrily expressed strong displeasure at thinking I had cut in front of them, so I just went to the back of the line, to avoid any further escalation. Sometimes, there is no "right" answer, other than acknowledging that our awareness is always imperfect & incomplete. — michael 1 min ago
#16488 michael (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 51) | posted 17 hours ago by SomeoneElse (2172 rep) | Toxicity 0.2968699 | edited 14 hours ago by David K (1186 rep)
#16491 R.. (491 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 12) | posted 16 hours ago by YElm (957 rep) | Toxicity 0.102826826
I found this answer to be (unintentionally?) humorous, as well. Here's my TLDR: In a loud voice with Shakespearean flare, pronounce: "Know thus far forth. / By accident most strange, bountiful Fortune, / Now my dear lady, hath mine enemies / Brought to this shore; and by my prescience / I find my zenith doth depend upon / A most auspicious star, whose influence / If now I court not but omit, my fortunes / Will ever after droop." ...Then, while they are dazed & confused by the performance, walk past the person to the front of the line, facing boldly forward, ever still, until served. — michael 1 min ago
#16491 michael (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 12) | posted 16 hours ago by YElm (957 rep) | Toxicity 0.11949878
1 hour later…
3:56 AM
Well, as an averaged-size male, my story may not be pertinent, but more than a few times others have been surprised that I was unharmed in supposedly situations. But I think people leave me alone because I’m not smart enough to be afraid of them. The lack of fear shows, the lack of wisdom doesn’t. :-) — WGroleau 1 min ago
#16487 WGroleau (500 rep) | Q: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 14) | posted 18 hours ago by Jacquelyn Li (176 rep) | Toxicity 0.2093902 | edited 18 hours ago by Jacquelyn Li (176 rep)
4:31 AM
#16416 ruakh (101 rep) | A: How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues? (score: 7) | posted 58 hours ago by G_L (71 rep) | Toxicity 0.13440652
5:06 AM
#7512 Andy (101 rep) | Q: Girlfriend's nosy mother keeps expressing that she'll show up unannounced (score: 128) | posted 223 days ago by Cork (733 rep) | Toxicity 0.111180946 | edited 178 days ago by Cork (733 rep)
#7517 Andy (101 rep) | A: Girlfriend's nosy mother keeps expressing that she'll show up unannounced (score: 34) | posted 223 days ago by baldPrussian (19139 rep) | Toxicity 0.38050556
5:44 AM
I'm sure you mean well, and have best intentions, but you haven't even convinced me. Someone who loves you will know your heart and know you aren't stepping out. Either your wife is too jealous to ever trust anyone, or she can see that as hard as you want to believe it's innocent, you're full of shit. Either trust her that there's more going on than you think, or trust that if she doesn't get it, she doesn't get you. — Anthony 1 min ago
#16441 Anthony (151 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 50) | posted 38 hours ago by Teri0 (286 rep) | Toxicity 0.8539198 | edited 22 hours ago by AHamilton (1510 rep) | Has magic comment
#16445 Anthony (151 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 235) | posted 37 hours ago by Upper_Case (3379 rep) | Toxicity 0.3009928 | edited 37 hours ago by Upper_Case (3379 rep)
You've already done a great job at convincing yourself, seems like the wife should be easy, right? Maybe it would help if she has a man "best friend" that she spent all of her time with. Wouldn't that make it easier for you both to understand? — Anthony 39 secs ago
#16441 Anthony (151 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 51) | posted 38 hours ago by Teri0 (291 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 22 hours ago by AHamilton (1510 rep) | Has magic comment
The relationship you describe with Katie sounds exactly like any new romance "When I said, "I can see me in your eyes" You said, "I can see you in my bed" That's not just friendship, that's romance, too You like music we can dance to" — Anthony 17 secs ago
#16445 Anthony (151 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 235) | posted 37 hours ago by Upper_Case (3379 rep) | Toxicity 0.3458112 | edited 37 hours ago by Upper_Case (3379 rep)
1 hour later…
7:11 AM
@Beofett That doesn't make any of that the OP's responsibility. OP does not have to make themselves feel uncomfortable and awkward simply to save this other person from their discomfort. Trying to get the other person to expand their horizons on who to try to talk to and connect with is a perfectly reasonable and socially nice thing to do. So is setting boundaries. — zibadawa timmy 58 secs ago
#16492 zibadawa timmy (101 rep) | A: How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations? (score: 55) | posted 20 hours ago by AHamilton (1510 rep) | Toxicity 0.10723445 | edited 20 hours ago by AHamilton (1510 rep)
7:24 AM
We can't really answer this, because we don't have enough information. We'd need both more context about your situation (ie; age, living arrangements, culture, things like that) and some idea of what you're hoping to accomplish (ie; getting them to leave you alone, getting them to stop praying, getting them to stop being fanatics) so we can give you accurate and useful advice. This question is likely to be closed until that information is provided; don't take it personally. It's only done because we want to be able to provide proper help and it'll be reopened as soon as it's answerable. — Erik 1 min ago
#16522 Erik (6262 rep) | Q: How to deal with my parents? (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by user10078920 (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.08499764
7:57 AM
I had a really bad time and missed out on a lot of the early 20s experiences because of awful yet seemingly trivial living situations that hurt me in lasting ways. When I looked for guidance nothing I found helped. So everything I wrote I came from painful trial and error. Your post could have been me 10 years ago when I could have gotten out early and built defenses relatively unwounded if I just knew these things so I had to. I hope my past helps your future so you can skip any painful learning on this on lesson save it for something that matters like family or career <3 — Re Ka 7 secs ago
#16481 Re Ka (11 rep) | A: How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again? (score: 1) | posted 26 hours ago by Re Ka (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.09631465
8:22 AM
I would first establish that they want to be nudged. Have you tried to talk to them directly, have you told them (in a hopefully non-accusatory way) about your observations and the impression you get from that? If so, how did they react? — Flo 12 secs ago
#16518 Flo (746 rep) | Q: How to nudge my relative's family out of their self-dug hole? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by Koinc (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.10046974
8:37 AM
10 years is really not a big age difference. Once you factor in the usual male/ female maturity factor that comes down to about 5 years. If the physical difference was that would you be worried? — Stevetech 15 secs ago
#16347 Stevetech (101 rep) | A: How do I tell a love interest I'm probably too old for her? (score: 260) | posted 3 days ago by Kate Gregory (24851 rep) | Toxicity 0.14259574 | edited 40 hours ago by Kate Gregory (24851 rep)
8:48 AM
Example of a less specific question: How do I ask my coworker why she doesn't say hello to me anymore? You should include more information about the circumstances in which you previously asked. Were you private? What exactly was said? Try to give the exact words that you and she used. Does she have a close work friend? You could ask for help asking that person. Please include how you currently interact with that person if you go that route. — Brythan 1 min ago
#16406 Brythan (796 rep) | Q: office coworker is not talking (score: 0) | posted 2 days ago by Jyotiben Sapariya (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.06796135
9:05 AM
Good morning singhster! Asking for specific/witty replies isn't a good fit for this SE: every answer is likely to be equally valid. I understand that these types of questions can be a lot of fun, but right now, your question is primarily opinion based. What would you like to achieve with the polite/witty response? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#16523 Tinkeringbell (18451 rep) | Q: How to respond to "I can't do anything without my morning coffee" (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by singhster (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.08024486
9:24 AM
Although we do allow frame-challenges on IPS, we hold them to a very high standard.. In this case, that would mean explaining why telling the love interest that OP feels to old for her is a bad idea, would it scare her off? Would she be creeped out?, then explaining what you do propose (apparently, dropping age and letting her do the math) and how that solves the problem. How will telling her his age in any other way solve the problems the OP is expecting? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 24 secs ago
#16399 Tinkeringbell (18448 rep) | A: How do I tell a love interest I'm probably too old for her? (score: 3) | posted 2 days ago by WoJ (1688 rep) | Toxicity 0.10862619 | edited 24 hours ago by WoJ (1688 rep)
9:47 AM
#16523 singhster (4 rep) | Q: How to respond to "I can't do anything without my morning coffee" (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by singhster (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.15975313
10:14 AM
So, do people complain about your current smile and 'Yeah, me too!'? Is there anything going wrong with what you're doing right now, with the current way you reply to these coffee statements? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 50 secs ago
#16523 Tinkeringbell (18449 rep) | Q: How to respond to "I can't do anything without my morning coffee" (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by singhster (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.127502
1 hour later…
11:32 AM
#16528 user123 (1 rep) | Q: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: -1) | posted 38 minutes ago by user123 (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.03602905 | edited 16 minutes ago by user123 (1 rep)
12:05 PM
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because its is an intrapersonal, not an interpersonal problem, and its a mental health question. — Polygnome 32 secs ago
#16529 Polygnome (800 rep) | Q: Maintaining relations with fictitious persons created in the mind (score: -1) | posted 18 minutes ago by theseeker (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.37888733 | edited 11 minutes ago by theseeker (1 rep)
12:30 PM
#16519 DaveG (1103 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -3) | posted 13 hours ago by DaveG (1103 rep) | Toxicity 0.04966809 | edited 11 hours ago by DaveG (1103 rep)
#16491 Davor (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 15) | posted 26 hours ago by YElm (987 rep) | Toxicity 0.3049434
Unless the OP is a physician, then I would not recommend including information about lumps likely being being benign. That is a discussion for a medical professional. — kmm 40 secs ago
#16337 kmm (101 rep) | A: How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues? (score: 119) | posted 3 days ago by Daniel (4885 rep) | Toxicity 0.04611379 | edited 2 days ago by Kat (2139 rep)
@BlackThorn Actually comparing touching dogs to touching people is quite apt. I used to go to a week long "you and your dog" camp. The very first camp activity was talking about how to deal with the fact that every dog is different. Some dogs love interaction, some have a lot of anxiety when a dog or human invades their personal space, or stares at them. The more you know about dogs, the more you pick up on subtleties in how they behave and think. — DaveG 24 secs ago
#3437 DaveG (1103 rep) | A: What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog? (score: 79) | posted 310 days ago by threetimes (9208 rep) | Toxicity 0.34399414 | edited 296 days ago by Alina Cretu (554 rep)
12:48 PM
So, I'm getting that not all co-workers on your team already have lunch together? What about coffee breaks? Are these ladies interacting with other members on the team already? Or is the rest of the team also just saying hi-bye? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#16532 Tinkeringbell (18454 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Toxicity 0.093564 | edited 7 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep)
Okay... and if I understand correctly, you don't just want to be friendly at work, but actually be friends outside of work as well? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 5 secs ago
#16532 Tinkeringbell (18454 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Toxicity 0.071190715 | edited 10 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep)
@Tinkeringbell Well, these ladies also say "hi----bye" to rest of team. Same with rest of team. We say "hi----bye" and chit chat during down time at work (depending on who we sit next to). As for coffee breaks, only two gentlemen go for morning coffee because they are part of same free coffee for year program (with purchase of $200 tumbler). I've asked to accompany these two gentlemen in past just for the commradrie. And I've asked if others would like to join us. But other than that, we are our own islands..... — Artie Ladie 1 min ago
#16532 Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Toxicity 0.035008512 | edited 10 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep)
#16532 Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 0) | posted 19 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep) | Toxicity 0.025594074 | edited 11 minutes ago by Artie Ladie (573 rep)
#16453 vsz (349 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 76) | posted 42 hours ago by GentlePurpleRain (621 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 41 hours ago by GentlePurpleRain (621 rep)
@Mindwin I would say it sounds neutral; it sounds like you're standing up for yourself a little, but that's about it. Of course, it can sound different if you say it with a different tone. — Ovi 31 secs ago
#16488 Ovi (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 64) | posted 27 hours ago by SomeoneElse (2302 rep) | Toxicity 0.06246957 | edited 24 hours ago by David K (1186 rep)
#16441 Koray Tugay (101 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 54) | posted 45 hours ago by Teri0 (306 rep) | Toxicity 0.6771105 | edited 29 hours ago by AHamilton (1540 rep) | Has magic comment
6 hours later…
#16151 Nebulae (254 rep) | Q: How do you ask friends to visit a dispensary without looking like a junkie? (score: 28) | posted 9 days ago by Nebulae (254 rep) | Toxicity 0.065456875 | edited 42 minutes ago by Nebulae (254 rep)
@Bob am I correct to assume that you find social contact uncomfortable in general? — Andy 1 hour ago
#5117 Andy (101 rep) | Q: Asking waiters to let you eat in peace (score: 48) | posted 279 days ago by Bob (464 rep) | Toxicity 0.1678169 | edited 279 days ago by 1006a (2240 rep)
#16441 copper.hat (101 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 58) | posted 51 hours ago by Teri0 (326 rep) | Toxicity 0.6435014 | edited 35 hours ago by AHamilton (1560 rep) | Has magic comment
With the common phrase "it's time to X" we tend to confuse ourself into thinking our subjective opinion is an objective fact, and we lose awareness of what we want and why. — Andy 2 hours ago
#13745 Andy (101 rep) | Q: How to convince a founder it's time to let go of their "power?" (score: 3) | posted 77 days ago by WordsandNumbers (294 rep) | Toxicity 0.12883797 | edited 76 days ago by WordsandNumbers (294 rep)
If this is a recurring problem you could try starting off each date by taking your phone out and saying "Do you mind if we both silence our phones? A lot of my recent dates have been distracted by their phones and I'm looking for someone who wants us to give each other our undivided attention" — Andy 2 hours ago
#9557 Andy (101 rep) | Q: How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out? (score: 96) | posted 170 days ago by D.Hutchinson (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.11616053 | edited 164 days ago by D.Hutchinson (1 rep) | Has magic comment
I'm not sure I agree with giving the benefit of the doubt in this case. Since, as you said, a respectful person would apologize and explain that something urgent has come up, I'm sure it was manifestly clear to the OP that such was not the case. — Andy 2 hours ago
#9576 Andy (101 rep) | A: How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out? (score: 72) | posted 170 days ago by Tom (5654 rep) | Toxicity 0.03908098
@jcmack Out of curiosity, what kind of social circles are you in with all of these guys who engage in that kind of competitive behavior? Guys in my social circles are not like that at all. — Andy 2 hours ago
#16509 Andy (101 rep) | A: Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends (score: 8) | posted 23 hours ago by jcmack (392 rep) | Toxicity 0.2129836 | edited 23 hours ago by jcmack (392 rep)
Useful isn't why I commented on your post. I'm unclear what the OP is asking, so it's very hard to determine if you are answering the OP's question or not. Remember this is a site for questions and answers about interpersonal skills, not a site for relationships advice. — sphennings 4 hours ago
#16519 sphennings (6510 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -2) | posted 19 hours ago by DaveG (1113 rep) | Toxicity 0.044263516 | edited 4 hours ago by DaveG (1113 rep)
#16514 LinuxBlanket (8159 rep) | Q: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: 2) | posted 20 hours ago by Anonymous (15 rep) | Toxicity 0.01367592 | edited 19 hours ago by Anonymous (15 rep)
@WGroleau I had a dog like that - all five pounds of her would bark down the Great Danes at the park. This confused them and they would keep away. I think they thought she had some sort of a secret weapon. Dogs more her size would call her out on it. She instigated many fights that she lost. Take from that what you will. — GuitarPicker 5 hours ago
#16487 GuitarPicker (103 rep) | Q: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 26) | posted 33 hours ago by Jacquelyn Li (236 rep) | Toxicity 0.3704524 | edited 33 hours ago by Jacquelyn Li (236 rep)
Before editing my post to delete "damn" as "offensive", please read the following meta discussion, the accepted answer by a ground floor moderator on the use of it and 3400 other posts that use it. This would not be considered an offensive use of "damn", it is there for purpose of emphasis. — Amadeus 5 hours ago
#3434 Amadeus (5558 rep) | A: What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog? (score: 238) | posted 310 days ago by Amadeus (5558 rep) | Toxicity 0.0984346 | edited 4 hours ago by Catija (12166 rep)
Oh wow, the Netherlands! See how Internet brings us all together! You gave really fantastic advice. I guess it is slow and steady process to reveal a little about yourself at a time. Seems more like an art almost. Have to go proper speed. It's really wonderful you have friends from your old workplace. I guess in this workplace (our team anyways), people seem to separate their home from work, even though people share issues they have with buying a new house, their kids, pets, taxes, etc. Really awesome post on self-disclosure. — Artie Ladie 5 hours ago
#16533 Artie Ladie (583 rep) | A: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 3) | posted 5 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (18498 rep) | Toxicity 0.051158637
@lucidbrot Also, your question is loaded with the presumption that she's planning to date him. From the OP's description they aren't at that point yet. — JBentley 5 hours ago
#16347 JBentley (101 rep) | A: How do I tell a love interest I'm probably too old for her? (score: 265) | posted 4 days ago by Kate Gregory (24911 rep) | Toxicity 0.07178294 | edited 50 hours ago by Kate Gregory (24911 rep)
@Mindwin I would say it sounds neutral; it sounds like you're standing up for yourself a little, but that's about it. Of course, it can sound different if you say it with a different tone. — Ovi 6 hours ago
#16488 Ovi (101 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 72) | posted 33 hours ago by SomeoneElse (2352 rep) | Toxicity 0.06246957 | edited 30 hours ago by David K (1186 rep)
#16532 Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 2) | posted 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Toxicity 0.025594074 | edited 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep)
Okay... and if I understand correctly, you don't just want to be friendly at work, but actually be friends outside of work as well? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 6 hours ago
#16532 Tinkeringbell (18498 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 2) | posted 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Toxicity 0.071190715 | edited 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep)
@Tinkeringbell Well, these ladies also say "hi----bye" to rest of team. Same with rest of team. We say "hi----bye" and chit chat during down time at work (depending on who we sit next to). As for coffee breaks, only two gentlemen go for morning coffee because they are part of same free coffee for year program (with purchase of $200 tumbler). I've asked to accompany these two gentlemen in past just for the commradrie. And I've asked if others would like to join us. But other than that, we are our own islands..... — Artie Ladie 6 hours ago
#16532 Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 2) | posted 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Toxicity 0.035008512 | edited 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep)
So, I'm getting that not all co-workers on your team already have lunch together? What about coffee breaks? Are these ladies interacting with other members on the team already? Or is the rest of the team also just saying hi-bye? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 6 hours ago
#16532 Tinkeringbell (18498 rep) | Q: How to be friendly with new team members (score: 2) | posted 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep) | Toxicity 0.093564 | edited 6 hours ago by Artie Ladie (583 rep)
@BlackThorn Actually comparing touching dogs to touching people is quite apt. I used to go to a week long "you and your dog" camp. The very first camp activity was talking about how to deal with the fact that every dog is different. Some dogs love interaction, some have a lot of anxiety when a dog or human invades their personal space, or stares at them. The more you know about dogs, the more you pick up on subtleties in how they behave and think. — DaveG 6 hours ago
#3437 DaveG (1113 rep) | A: What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog? (score: 80) | posted 310 days ago by threetimes (9218 rep) | Toxicity 0.34399414 | edited 296 days ago by Alina Cretu (554 rep)
Unless the OP is a physician, then I would not recommend including information about lumps likely being being benign. That is a discussion for a medical professional. — kmm 6 hours ago
#16337 kmm (101 rep) | A: How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues? (score: 120) | posted 4 days ago by Daniel (4895 rep) | Toxicity 0.04611379 | edited 2 days ago by Kat (2139 rep)
7:12 PM
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — YElm 1 min ago
#16521 YElm (1017 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 2) | posted 18 hours ago by WGroleau (538 rep) | Toxicity 0.09003969
"Half an inch shorter than 5 feet" is a lot more accessible than "4.95 tall". — Sojourner 11 secs ago
#16490 Sojourner (290 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 9) | posted 33 hours ago by OldPadawan (12178 rep) | Toxicity 0.06000837
Actually, the OP asked YOU to figure out how he can establish a two-way communication. You just did what you accuse the OP of: you poured all your wisdom and superiosity on him without giving him any real help. Please edit your answer to make it helpful instead of just stating what the OP did wrong. — YElm 18 secs ago
#16526 YElm (1017 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by (deleted user) | Toxicity 0.15685719
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — YElm 39 secs ago
#16506 YElm (1017 rep) | A: How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations? (score: -2) | posted 28 hours ago by VIRTUAL-VOID (103 rep) | Toxicity 0.09003969 | edited 27 hours ago by VIRTUAL-VOID (103 rep)
8:06 PM
Hello, welcome to IPS! This question is too broad for us to answer accurately, can you add examples and background for your question, and country for cultural aspects, please? Otherwise, the community will probably close this question as too broad. — ElizB 7 secs ago
#16536 ElizB (240 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.025224114
I don't believe high-level hypothetical discussion is on topic here. Is this question related to a real-world problem you're trying to deal with? If yes, it might be more appropriate to ask about that problem instead. — NotThatGuy 1 min ago
#16536 NotThatGuy (2639 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.09691868
The only possible answer to ‘how can I do something impossible’, is “you can’t”—exactly what I and others have said. — WGroleau 18 secs ago
#16521 WGroleau (538 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 2) | posted 19 hours ago by WGroleau (538 rep) | Toxicity 0.054775156
8:45 PM
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — djsmiley2k 25 secs ago
#16531 djsmiley2k (1284 rep) | A: How to set boundaries to a younger sister who wants to live in my house? (score: 0) | posted 8 hours ago by Sascha (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.09003969
9:34 PM
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — djsmiley2k 49 mins ago
#16531 djsmiley2k (1284 rep) | A: How to set boundaries to a younger sister who wants to live in my house? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by Sascha (99 rep) | Toxicity
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — djsmiley2k 54 mins ago
#16531 djsmiley2k (1284 rep) | A: How to set boundaries to a younger sister who wants to live in my house? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by Sascha (99 rep) | Toxicity
The only possible answer to ‘how can I do something impossible’, is “you can’t”—exactly what I and others have said. And if I had put that in comments, someone would rightly have rebuked me for answering in a comment instead of requesting clarification. — WGroleau 1 hour ago
#16521 WGroleau (538 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 2) | posted 20 hours ago by WGroleau (538 rep) | Toxicity
I don't believe high-level hypothetical discussion is on topic here. Is this question related to a real-world problem you're trying to deal with? If yes, it might be more appropriate to ask about that problem instead. — NotThatGuy 1 hour ago
#16536 NotThatGuy (2639 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 3 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity
I'm not sure I agree with your first paragraph. I doubt she will delete messages, I'm sure they communicate primarily through Facebook, and if I find it's true that they have had no contact for a year (which is what she's claiming), I have no reason to wonder the same thing in a few months. — user123 19 secs ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity 0.08918834 | edited 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
Can you edit this to include a synopsis of the text you are referencing so that people who are unfamiliar with it can still follow the question. — sphennings 1 min ago
#16536 sphennings (6521 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 3 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.03051434
I'm not sure I agree with your first paragraph. I doubt she will delete messages, I'm sure they communicate primarily through Facebook, and if I find it's true that they have had no contact for a year (which is what she's claiming), I have no reason to wonder the same thing in a few months. — user123 39 secs ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity | edited 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
I'm not sure I agree with your first paragraph. I doubt she will delete messages, I'm sure they communicate primarily through Facebook, and if I find it's true that they have had no contact for a year (which is what she's claiming), I have no reason to wonder the same thing in a few months. — user123 2 mins ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity | edited 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
Can you edit this to include a synopsis of the text you are referencing so that people who are unfamiliar with it can still follow the question. — sphennings 4 mins ago
#16536 sphennings (6521 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 3 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity
Also, do you think "knowing whether or not a SO is cheating" is "protecting [myself] from serious harm"? This was the justification I used to go through her personal emails in the first place, and she agreed that it was justified. I think I could have requested to view the Facebook conversation then and also be justified, but I didn't. So does it matter that I'm now asking to view the conversation a year later? — user123 23 secs ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity 0.12895565 | edited 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
Also, do you think "knowing whether or not a SO is cheating" is "protecting [myself] from serious harm"? This was the justification I used to go through her personal emails in the first place, and she agreed that it was justified. I think I could have requested to view the Facebook conversation then and also be justified, but I didn't. So does it matter that I'm now asking to view the conversation a year later? — user123 1 min ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity | edited 9 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
Also, do you think "knowing whether or not a SO is cheating" is "protecting [myself] from serious harm"? This was the justification I used to go through her personal emails in the first place, and she agreed that it was justified. I think I could have requested to view the Facebook conversation then and also be justified, but I didn't. So does it matter that I'm now asking to view the conversation a year later? — user123 25 mins ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity 0.1289558 | edited 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
I'm not sure I agree with your first paragraph. I doubt she will delete messages, I'm sure they communicate primarily through Facebook, and if I find it's true that they have had no contact for a year (which is what she's claiming), I have no reason to wonder the same thing in a few months. — user123 28 mins ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity 0.08918834 | edited 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
Can you edit this to include a synopsis of the text you are referencing so that people who are unfamiliar with it can still follow the question. — sphennings 30 mins ago
#16536 sphennings (6521 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.03051434
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — djsmiley2k 1 hour ago
#16531 djsmiley2k (1284 rep) | A: How to set boundaries to a younger sister who wants to live in my house? (score: -1) | posted 9 hours ago by Sascha (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.09003969
The only possible answer to ‘how can I do something impossible’, is “you can’t”—exactly what I and others have said. And if I had put that in comments, someone would rightly have rebuked me for answering in a comment instead of requesting clarification. — WGroleau 2 hours ago
#16521 WGroleau (538 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 2) | posted 21 hours ago by WGroleau (538 rep) | Toxicity 0.19827451
I don't believe high-level hypothetical discussion is on topic here. Is this question related to a real-world problem you're trying to deal with? If yes, it might be more appropriate to ask about that problem instead. — NotThatGuy 2 hours ago
#16536 NotThatGuy (2639 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.09691868
Hello, welcome to IPS! This question is too broad for us to answer accurately, can you add examples and background for your question, and country for cultural aspects, please? Otherwise, the community will probably close this question as too broad. — ElizB 2 hours ago
#16536 ElizB (240 rep) | Q: "The sudden break of contact" tactic (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by Ramid (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.025224114
Actually, the OP asked YOU to figure out how he can establish a two-way communication. You just did what you accuse the OP of: you poured all your wisdom and superiosity on him without giving him any real help. Please edit your answer to make it helpful instead of just stating what the OP did wrong. — YElm 3 hours ago
#16526 YElm (1017 rep) | A: My wife and I just had a big blow-up and I hardly understand it (score: -1) | posted 11 hours ago by (deleted user) | Toxicity 0.15685719
"Half an inch shorter than 5 feet" is a lot more accessible than "4.95 tall". — Sojourner 3 hours ago
10:13 PM
#16490 Sojourner (290 rep) | A: How can a girl ask a burly tall man who jumped the line, to get in line? (score: 9) | posted 36 hours ago by OldPadawan (12178 rep) | Toxicity 0.06000835
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — YElm 3 hours ago
#16521 YElm (1017 rep) | A: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 2) | posted 21 hours ago by WGroleau (538 rep) | Toxicity 0.09003969
#16151 Nebulae (254 rep) | Q: How do you ask friends to visit a dispensary without looking like a junkie? (score: 28) | posted 9 days ago by Nebulae (254 rep) | Toxicity 0.065456875 | edited 4 hours ago by Nebulae (254 rep)
@Bob am I correct to assume that you find social contact uncomfortable in general? — Andy 5 hours ago
#5117 Andy (101 rep) | Q: Asking waiters to let you eat in peace (score: 48) | posted 279 days ago by Bob (464 rep) | Toxicity 0.1678169 | edited 279 days ago by 1006a (2240 rep)
"If you don't feel you can extend the trust necessary for keeping each other's back and being responsible for your part of being a couple, there is no relationship." Is that trust supposed to be unconditional? If you caught your SO sending a single inappropriate picture to someone else, but your SO claims that was the only instance, would you want to have some sort of backing to that claim other than the SO's word and your (now-broken) trust for them? Are you saying that if you don't trust your SO unconditionally, then the relationship is unsalvageable? — user123 3 mins ago
#16539 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by (deleted user) | Toxicity 0.3358557
I also disagree about your stance on trust being the only thing relevant here. The most relevant piece of information is what actually happened, or more precisely "did my GF and X do anything else more inappropriate". If an oracle answered this question without revealing anything else, that would be enough to eliminate my worries, eliminate my desire to read the conversation myself, provide me closure, and let me confidently decide whether to stay in the relationship after all. Alas, there is no such oracle. — user123 43 secs ago
#16530 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 5) | posted 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep) | Toxicity 0.30433482 | edited 10 hours ago by Matthew1471 (159 rep)
"But what's in it for you?" If nothing else inappropriate happened, then I will be reassured of my GF's faithfulness and my trust for her (which she broke a year ago) will be increase; these effects together will make me much happier. If something else inappropriate happened, then the knowledge of that will let me better decide whether to stay in the relationship at all, and I will be happy to know that I'm choosing correctly (as opposed to merely guessing right now). — user123 1 min ago
#16539 user123 (6 rep) | A: Deciding whether to view a SO's private conversation given reasonable suspicion (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by (deleted user) | Toxicity 0.11105127
10:38 PM
#16441 JonH (101 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 59) | posted 55 hours ago by Teri0 (331 rep) | Toxicity 0.6178281 | edited 38 hours ago by AHamilton (1590 rep) | Has magic comment
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