I'm very curious about point 3. — dn3s 1 min ago

@Raditz_35: That's the point, I don't know if it would be seen as an attack on the character. I'm pretty good about being criticized, but not everybody responds the same way. I used to be harsher and more demanding with my students, but found that being nice was more motivating. Now I might be too nice. — Cliff 2 mins ago

@Andy the accommodation has nothing to do with my university, it's external student accommodation in no way affiliated with the campus. It's because they all put my name on their forms that I might get put with them even if I don't put them down, as far as the people running this accommodation know everything was fine last year so it could happen unless I explicitly tell them not to put me with them. — Chilly 36 secs ago

+1, but I'd say you sould call the school anyway in parallel with telling your ex flat mates, I don't see how that's a last ditch attempt. If they remove your name from the application then great and it has no affect, if they don't then you've got the safety net of having asked the school not to place you with them anyway. — berry120 9 secs ago

This is terrible advice. Just solve the problem directly. The OP is justified, but so is the roommate, it's first year away from home, and being inconsiderate is not necessarily disrespect. Let her roomate show her malice before retaliation. Just solve the issue. Then move on. — chiggsy 1 min ago

@sphennings Just want to give some positive feedback that I really appreciate your comment on why you are voting to close. I often see posts that get either voted down or see votes to close and I have no idea what's going on. — DaveG 10 secs ago

I already updated the title — Moslem Cherif 26 secs ago

@Edmund Reed: The most likely reason OP asked his question is that he don´t wants to host a stranger over night, but also don´t wants to offend a friend. OP already stated that this is not a gender issue - but if it where, neither the question nor the on-topic answers would change. The only thing that would change is that he would get a lot of off-topic answers that would subsequently be deleted by mods. So why not save this useless discussion? — Daniel 42 secs ago

Did you tell her yet? — Strawberry 2 mins ago

@sphennings something more :) — Moslem Ch 1 min ago

@MoslemCh I don't really have an answer but when you say "which will make it like the hell for me to really divorce" it sounds like you are a bit on the fence about actually getting divorced. I personally think that as awful as it will be, just pushing through the divorce, however painful, will eventually make your life better. And when this woman sees that you are serious it will also make the relationship with her better, even if it takes time for the divorce to complete. — DaveG 1 min ago

Thanks alot, I agree with you in this point, that with her fears this relation will never be working ... That is exactly what I am trying to explain for her.. — Moslem Ch 17 secs ago

Okay, I removed that part. — Pete B. 48 secs ago

-1: Assuming monogamous relationships without even mentioning this assumption is rather close-minded. (Of course, this also shows that the question is very much lacking information.) — Jasper 1 min ago

Thankyou. I will try this approach. — Mark W 1 min ago

@HDE226868 done, thank you. — Andrea Lazzarotto 59 secs ago

In American culture, this kind of friendship is pretty uncommon. To me, it sounds like your friend is providing you with emotional needs that are normally reserved for romantic partners. This is generally referred to as emotional cheating. So to clarify, you should talk about things you do with your wife. Do you spend as much 1-on-1 time with your wife? Do you communicate with your wife as much as your friend? Do you and your wife say that you miss each other when apart? — Clay07g 51 secs ago

@DoktorJ I agree. Unless you tell the school administration, it doesn't matter what you tell your old roommates, because you might get put with them anyway. — mbomb007 29 secs ago

Reading these comments, I no longer believe this question is being asked in good faith. The comments seem calculated to provoke outrage and troll. I recommend people don't engage, downvote, and move on. — William Grobman 58 secs ago

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt... — MackTuesday 44 secs ago

@WilliamGrobman Absolutely not. I really appreciate the advise so far.. — Teri0 1 min ago

@AbhigyanC that sounds like the start of a really solid answer... ;) — scohe001 35 secs ago

@apaul I'm not sure that just because I disagree with you my opinions are any stronger than yours. Yours seem to be pretty hard and fast. I'll boil it down: some men, myself included, consider "straight" to mean "only interested in heterosexual relationships". I'll "back it up" by my own experience. I've had long dry periods (years). It has never crossed my mind to have sex with another man. I have a gay buddy that I run with, we've had lots of talks about our dating experiences. I've never considered asking him if he knows any guys I could meet. Just the way I'm wired. — DaveG 6 mins ago

The classic; there is no “just friends”; sooner or later... you will find out. — Kyslik 13 mins ago

Based on the sum of your question and and all of your comments...it sounds like you're absolutely (emotionally) cheating. And very close to the edge of dropping the "emotional". — Doc 24 mins ago

Thank you! And take care @Cashbee — StefanS 39 mins ago

@Teri0 You seem to be operating under the assumption that if there's no actual sexual contact, the friendship is by definition appropriate. Setting aside your own situation, can you at least agree that there is some middle ground between a 100% appropriate friendship and a physical affair? — user37208 1 hour ago

There's a saying that sums up your answer and might be worth working into it: "Actions speak louder than words." +1 — jpmc26 52 secs ago