The reason you say "No, thank you" rather then just "No" is to show appreciation for the kind offer. The diplomatic way to say "No" always involves showing the offer respect. You don't have to agree to do that. — CandiedOrange 33 secs ago

This sounds like there is a lot of history involved. Did she always behave like that? Since when does she behave like that? How do you and her get along with other family members? I think all this is important but even if you would answer all of it will be difficult to answer your question. — Edgar 46 secs ago

+1 I like this answer because I think the most important approach is one that does not immediately bring up anything related to their gender identities. Ask them to stop just like you would any other couple. It is their choice to get offended or get on the defensive, the best thing you can do is treat them like you would anyone else. If they make it about gender, Kate has offered great advice on how to reason with them. — Jess K. 26 secs ago

No, the point of that sentence is to affirm that you 100% agree with the genders they have transitioned to. Not "you're sort of a man" or "you're going to be a man eventually" or "you're trying being a man" or "you think of yourself as a man" or anything that could be unsupportive or transphobic. A very simple short affirmation that this person is what they are. And then ditto for the woman in the couple. If the OP was transphobic or unsupportive such a simple statement of fact would be difficult to say. It is generally something trans people want to hear (And don't hear often enough.) — Kate Gregory 59 secs ago

@RichardTingle, I disagree. Even if the door opens toward us, I will go through first and hold it open behind me, and expect others to do the same. — Fiona 49 secs ago

You might consider clarifying how them being trans is irrelevant. I agree that it is in the sense of what scale of PDAs are appropriate, but I'm not sure it is in terms of likely reactions. Trans people often get excessive judgment for how they look, so it's important that you're suggesting phrasing that avoids that. — Cascabel 2 mins ago

Gently correcting somebody through reformulating what you're agreeing with, rather than harshly confronting, is a good skill to develop. I'd suggest something simpler, though: "I think they're beautiful and they'd probably be good at anything they set out to do." — kbelder 2 mins ago

DV for suggesting to summarily expel someone who disagrees with you, and judging the entire group from one single line said by one single dude. Would you by any chance be a tolerant liberal?... — peufeu 1 min ago

Not everything needs to be a debate. Not everyone has to debate whatever opinions they're presented with. It appears the OP does not want to debate the role of women in society with this individual, and is looking for a way to not have that conversation. That someone says something you disagree with should in no way oblige you to start a debate on that topic. — Zach Lipton 24 secs ago

I agree that the invitation to debate should be optional. Just saying the line about being a feminist sounds sufficient in that case. — William Grobman 18 secs ago

@jean strongly disagree - look at the #1 answer — burrito77 43 secs ago