Alright so there are 2 that I might consider turning on in a VERY specific environment. Other than that it's all security or Azure related items that either won't help you in the box version or aren't even a valid TF in the box version.

> They’re all “aw shucks” about Trace Flags.

ORLY

Ah, cool. Thanks.

I also love hardware but only for what it can do for query perf

@sp_BlitzErik me too, thanks

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I was right!

so anyone got some good news?

as I said I'm back on a VM

The wine I bought is really good and I have a large quantity of Japanese fish parts being delivered.

Nothing sql related though. Managed instances ran out of blogging steam pretty early.

how many ways did you break it?

and what fish parts in particular?

Three, but we reported them to Microsoft. Blogs were sanitary.

Salmon parts mostly.

bbl food and anime time

What are you watching?

Probably nothing good

Mai used to watch anime but she also was from Tokyo so she didn't have to read all the subtitles

Who is that?

Has that dev come back from vacation yet?

She was an ex-gf

Good for you

Since it's been added to TFS it'll be changed in a future CU

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft how dare you

Oh, I dared

anyway I'm not going to say

too many judgmental snobs in the room

I will say that cooking anime is surprisingly good

Paul isn't here. You're safe.

Paul is always here

@JoeObbish I don't judge... except VMs. I judge VMs so hard.

everything is a VM

you might not like it

but this is what peak performance looks like

I don't judge because people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones... or have no pants sundays.

@JoeObbish I see what you did there.

I'm speaking twice over the next week

am I pro now?

Totes

Zoomit, clickers

That's MVP status

Don't burn out

I have both of those!

now all I need is public speaking skills

shit, I'm waking up at 5:30 AM tomorrow

on a SATURDAY

the community better appreciate my sacrifice

Just make sure to remind everyone how terrible VMs are for top performance and it'll be a success

oh right, I can ask you this

do you know Chirag Shah?

Hahahah yes

We go way back

he's presenting

"With an advent of SQL 2017 we at Microsoft bringing a new level of enhancements into core relational SQL engine. Even if you are a seasoned database professional worked with SQL product for many years, come join this session to find out how and what has changed in SQL Server 2017 from improved query processing to new and improved features to further enhance scalability of the product."

Will I be disappointed?

also, considering I'm a seasoned database professional are you allergic to me?

Yeah that's marketing

Avoid

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

@JoeObbish Depends on what you're looking for. Don't expect level 300

You won't see a single thing break

@JoeObbish Yes, I can taste a sprinkling of VM on you...

ffs

why do people give misleading abstracts

It's not misleading, it's giving you the changes.

but I agree with @sp_BlitzErik sounds too marketing for me

I'd sit in the back and leave if it were boring

but how can you even talk about scalability at level 200?

Pretty easy actually, said enhancement or feature eliminates said problem for easier scalability

-_____________________________________________________________________-

you askd, you only have yourself to blame

Crayola Scaling

I've found that level 350 is the sweet spot

no matter how many times I get burned

I still reach for the flame

it's deep enough most people will feel like it wasn't a waste of time and low enough most people don't feel like it's over their head

I went level 500 this week for about 3 minutes and everyone's eyes glazed over

if you did level 350 I'd throw tomatoes at you

or are you allergic to those?

technically no

You don't like 350?

negative

What'd you go 500 about?

@JoeObbish why not?

guess

picking up women?

Ags

@JoeObbish I'm level 100 at that

alright, feels like my bed time.

so failing to pick up women

Lol

Goodnight

time for some final prep

@JoeObbish Sounds reasonable, thanks. If you have occasion to test that assertion at some stage, yes, it would be interesting to know.

@PaulWhite just tried it

without TF8015 I get 96 schedulers

with it enabled I only get 48 schedulers

they're on cpu 0 - 47

cheers

@PaulWhite Don't like my breakdown, eh?

also you ruined the cookie surprise! :(

Brent did a good job of pretending to be surprised though