Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not received
Amazon: Warmest greetings [...] my name is Thor.
Me: Greetings, Thor. Can I be Odin?
Amazon: Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day?
Me: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life.
Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occurred to cause this agony?
Me: I'm afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book?
Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to you! I…