Okay, so the thing I am gonna talk about, is an Emphasize (thats the term I choose for it). Technically it is lying, but I came to a point where I found that it is moralic seen not the same as streight lying. As when we are doing it there is never harm or any bad intend. At least as far I can speak for bailey and myself.
We do Emphazises, actually in situations, where a statement in itself gives us the impression. Just stating a situation as it was wouldn't transport the emotional impact it has on us, so we over/under exaggregate a situation or change more or less irrelevant facts to make a story be more correct representing how we actually felt about it rather than how it was.
And at somepoint I proposed to her that we should stop seeing an emphazise as something unethical, as the intends of doing it are sctually to give the other person a better understanding on our current emotional state. And thats not something we should feel ashamed for when being caught doing it. Bailey agreed on that proposal and it feels so good being able to open point out inconsitancys in what the other person is saying without having to feel like having someone caught lying.
And when you said that the SF story with SAP was just a month ago, that was a "lie" or as I would call it an Emphazise, as you told me about that story already more than a month ago, and back then it was already "last year" when you told it. The main criteria for it being an emphazise is simply it is something you experienced in your past and the parts being untrue are solely to point out.... well.... to emphazise, how you perceived something
And most importantly, not to trick or harm someone else.
@avazula And I think thats what you did here when you said it was last month. And I really would like to know what you think about it, if thats inline with why you do that and how often you are doing this :)
@dhein this is something that happens so often that we actually have a word for this in English. We would call this "Embellishment." (I don't mean to interrupt your chat with Ava, but I can't help but jump in to let you know that you're definitely not alone in doing this!)
Hah, i am just finished. And thanks for pointing me on that term. Great to know :)
@scohe001 is that just a general thing? Or is there any material related to autism about embellishment? As I really would love to get more insight on that behavior.
As thats just why I came up with this conversation
@dhein it's usually associated with telling stories--completely unrelated to autism. There may be some research on how those affected by autism tell stories and whether they embellish though. But I wouldn't know how to search for that. The second definition here is what I'm thinking of
@dhein I do this often, but I don't know that I've ever done it intentionally if that makes sense. I believe the term for what I do is called projecting. I take my perception of how something happened and project that onto what actually happened when recounting an event. I've not heard or seen any work indicating a link between autism and this sort of behavior.
@Rainbacon well it isnt intentional. More semi intentional I'd say. For me this is like.... being aware of what I am saying isnt correct, but not saying it that way would feel not apropiate, so I keep telling it the incorrect way. Right?
@scohe001 then this might come close to what I am talking of, but not sure if it is the same.
@Rainbacon hmmm might be that this comes then just true for me as I am reflecting my self very carefully and am very aware of my own actions while doing them.
@Rainbacon me neither, but I feel like there is a connection between it. As the way non autist do it is different or at least having a diferent scope.... well at least for the samples I was so far able to collect, which I must admit are just a few
And yeah projecting seems to be more accurate. Maybe I could read some more in that to figure if what projecting is by definition is diferent from what I obsrrved so far :)
@dhein erh. Well, I sure did use a bad wording. Indeed, my plans for moving were ongoing since November 2017. What i meant here is that if I had the chance to take that job opportunity SAP was offering me, I should have started working here, in San Fran, last month. That is truly what I meant. But your story is interesting
@scohe001 I think its related to the way the brain works. It has been proven that we tend to embellish (or worsen) our memories, and that memories are, in the end, not as reliable as we would think. I experienced this myself after being raped, and there was a time in my life where I would almost forget it happened and unconsciously starting to believe that it never happened.
@avazula hmm yea that sounds almost like repression, which I guess you could call a form of embellishing the story you tell yourself. But I absolutely agree that our memories are faulty, fragile things.
