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00:00 - 17:0017:00 - 00:00

12:01 AM
@ErikDarling never got the chance
like I said, first email
 
well at least we don't have to worry about this chat getting microsoft partner status
 
[MV] MOMOLAND(모모랜드), ERIK _ Love Is Only You(사랑은 너 하나)
@ErikDarling anything you want to share?
 
clearly from my recent trip to momoland
 
that's the name of the group
 
it was a very sensual trip
 
12:09 AM
so does "thought leader" mean that you're a medalist in the woke Olympics?
it's interesting that's separate from "contribution to technical communities"
 
i think that's there to let bloviating wads skate
 
thought leaders in parenting
how many MVP points do you get for insulting Brent on twitter?
 
that only works if you have him blocked
 
@ErikDarling negative. all MVP activities have to be VERIFIABLE
 
they can be verified by the right people
who also have brent blocked
 
12:16 AM
to be fair, posting any message in this room is probably -1 MVP point
mostly due to guilt by association
 
paul must have infinite mvp points
 
Who knows
We'll find out on July 1
 
might need one more blog
 
I tweeted instead
 
@PaulWhite would you describe yourself as a thought leader?
 
12:21 AM
Does anyone really blog any more?
 
no one important that I know
 
attention grubs
 
Probably have their own YouTube channels
@JoeObbish sounds socialist
 
mailing lists
 
Stickers
 
12:24 AM
supplements
 
dreadful
 
None of them can make a decent sandwich
 
I can't for vegetarians
what do you even do? put lettuce on it?
 
tomates!
 
I generally use my most valuable preparations on it
Secret sauce
 
12:29 AM
H?
 
that's not a preparation
 
Opportunity lost
 
The correct response was another H?
HTH
 
12:33 AM
not very sporting
 
I don't see sporting in the room description or tags
 
i don't see sandwiches either bub
 
I'm just trying to provide some thought leadership here
 
be better if you provided sandwiches
hard to comment when you're holding a sandwich
2
 
@ErikDarling Perhaps we should fix that
I wonder if blue cheese walnuts and apricots will go together
 
12:39 AM
yes
that's like a normal cheese plate combo
are you sure you've been to france?
 
4u
It's either apricot or port infused mushrooms. Can't decide
There will be lettuce though
 
mushrooms are a whole different profile
blue cheese and mushrooms seems unpleasant
like texture-wise
 
Think I'll go with the 🍑
The safe option
 
you spelled sane wrong but okay
 
Not all experiments work out
@ErikDarling the mushroom is quite fine almost like a paté
 
12:45 AM
what form is the apricot?
jelly? dried? sliced?
 
Conserve
 
oh okay
 
> The MVP award is presented to our top technical community leaders and technical experts
Lies
 
@PaulWhite like a stuffing? or are the mushrooms whole/sliced?
@SeanGallardy it might be sad but true :D
 
@ErikDarling I suppose it would be closer to a stuffing yes. Minced might be the right word. Portabellos
 
12:51 AM
seems like a good choice for brie or goat cheese
 
I do have some French Camembert
 
dangerous
 
@SeanGallardy note the lack of the word exclusively
Everyone is inclusive
@ErikDarling went well with the current wine last night
I may start wearing a beret
 
you should look for triple creme cheese next time you go shopping
it's fantastic
 
Sounds like squirty processed cheese in a tube
I throw processed cheese slices in your general direction
 
12:57 AM
i am a cheese snob
tube cheese is unacceptable
 
4us
 
like white underwear
 
Or any underwear am i right
 
ho ho ho
 
Twitter is dull today
 
1:00 AM
i've barely looked
the internet was generally dull today
 
1:28 AM
@ErikDarling I found a cricket podcast to listen to twitter.com/theaccnz/status/1143292722582708224?s=21 v nsfw
 
seems cheeky
they said breasts on twitter
surprised they still have an account
 
2:04 AM
HELLO
 
2:17 AM
Sup
 
@JoeObbish why are you channeling Evan?
 
3:03 AM
@PaulWhite I wasn't
that's quite the accusation
my caps lock key was on
 
Oh I see
It seemed odd because an all caps greeting is his trademark
 
3:48 AM
@PaulWhite we don't respect IP in this room
 
 
4 hours later…
8:10 AM
doesn't sound like community leadership
 
 
3 hours later…
10:53 AM
1
A: Why is our query suddenly returning rows it should not (using READPAST and UPDLOCK options)?

Josh DarnellYou mentioned this: The problem is load related. With 4 worker processes running it did not happen. But with 10 workers it happens consistently. So it sounds like the failover was not the only thing that changed - you also increased concurrency on the application side of things. I tried lo...

 
👋
 
@JoshDarnell You might like to try rerunning your test with the index hint suggested in the other answer.
 
i can't believe he linked to the docs page and not my smash hit youtube video
NOFRIENDO
 
It's not unexpected to see two concurrent U locks though, that's the point of READPAST. The issue is two queries returning the same row.
You can easily repro that by running the SELECT query inside a transaction in one session, leaving the transaction open, and running the same query in a second session and transaction. The second session will not block, and there will be two concurrent U locks on different rows.
 
does logic exist anywhere for sql server to try to use indexes that aren't currently locked?
i doubt it but eh
 
11:06 AM
@ErikDarling no
@JoshDarnell Likewise you can repro the same-row selection by using an INDEX(1) hint on one query and INDEX(2) on the other. Both will select the same record, using different access paths.
Still I gave your answer an upvote because it is nicely written
 
nice to be new
 
11:34 AM
Can't believe my wife had the last glass of Les Courtilles.
 
11:47 AM
The true gourmand emerges
 
12:09 PM
@PaulWhite Cotes du Rhone?
 
yesterday, by Paul White
@ErikDarling Tonight is brought to you by Les Courtilles Côtes du Rhône 2016
 
I do like a good red
Found one using grapes grown on Mt Etna the other day
was very earthy. nice though
 
Probably better than Mt. Aetna
 
@ErikDarling Welp. Enough of this rabbit hole: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aetna#1800s
I have not spent my time wisely today.
 
12:24 PM
that's how most people feel after joining this chat
it's not too late for you
 
I just fear that I won't be accepted elsewhere now
 
I had a dream about excessive PAGELATCH_UP waits
I tried fixing it with in memory OLTP
then I wanted to get rid of the filegroup and couldn't
I'm not gonna make it
 
yeah i'd be worried if i had a dream that i was josh too
 
@ErikDarling -_____-
@PaulWhite Thanks for the information, Paul!
And it's nice to know I can write well, even if I can't seem to write the correct things lately.
 
12:46 PM
@ErikDarling wut
 
@JoshDarnell Don't feel bad at all - 95%+ of the users on this site couldn't answer that question correctly.
So answering it well is a very good start.
 
looks like a low percentage
 
5% answering that correctly is generous
 
There was a plus on the end
And that doesn't account for the fraction of users that would answer.
 
@PaulWhite Well that's encouraging 😃 I'll attempt to put a stop to my Eeyore attitude now.
Answer edited.
 
12:57 PM
Everyone learns here. I often think answerers learn the most.
 
@PaulWhite Is Answerer a real word?
 
@JoeObbish Erik was referencing the fact that I have a production app with an in-memory filegroup I can't get rid of.
 
Does that mean I can say Answeree
 
joe doesn't read the transcript confirmed
 
@George.Palacios There is written evidence for it right there
 
12:58 PM
@PaulWhite Paul White is the Queen of England confirmed
I'm pretty sure she can just make up words
and they're automatically real
 
The guys from the SQL Server Radio podcast suggested in their latest episode that "Trace Flag" should be renamed to "Paul White Flag."
Thoughts?
 
All seems perfectly ondulous.
 
@PeterVandivier Hahaha that is great.
 
because you're waving the white flag of mental surrender to sql server?
@JoshDarnell i think you just got called a jr dba
 
1:05 PM
Hekaton is so awesome you'd be stupid to drop it.
SQL Server is just protecting you from yourself.
 
@ErikDarling Sounds like a promotion.
To be fair, we were tricked by Microsoft into using Hekaton.
 
does anyone else find it odd that if you add 16 cores to a 16 core sql server you only get 256 more worker threads but if you get a whole other sql server you get 704 threads?
 
Pssh. Those threads are hardly working then
 
2
A: Why is our query suddenly returning rows it should not (using READPAST and UPDLOCK options)?

Josh DarnellGetting the same row from different indexes As David mentions in his answer, you can get the same row from multiple sessions if you happen to access that row via different indexes. The UPDLOCK hint only applies to the specific access method. Having a nonclustered index row U locked does not pre...

Much better, sorry about adding a typo, fixed now.
 
No worries, thanks for the edits! That is helpful stuff.
17 mins ago, by Paul White
Everyone learns here. I often think answerers learn the most.
I think I've learned far more from answering questions than any other method of learning.
 
1:14 PM
the nice part about paul editing your question is that it usually ends up as a hnq
 
@JoshDarnell Did you find HK didn't help?
 
@ErikDarling Sounds like evidence of collusion.
 
hard to say
 
@JoshDarnell maybe you should ask the secret cabal behind @StackDBAs
 
1:35 PM
31
A: How does the twitter bot work?

Bill the LizardLooking at the Server Fault and Super User Twitter streams, it looks like each account is set up to automatically tweet a new status every 3 hours. According to this answer by Nick Craver there is a "hotness" algorithm based on views over a certain period of time. (This is probably similar to t...

 
mind += blown
 
@PaulWhite v. imprecise
 
i've thought that was a Paul sock for years
 
@PeterVandivier Thank god you didn't miss an equals sign out there
 
@George.Palacios fixed
 
1:43 PM
hahahaha
Actually that's incorrect syntax
SELECT mind += blown
FROM body
 
@PaulWhite We were going from the in-process session model to SQL Server session, so there was never a good comparison made. In other words, we didn't try the non-Hekaton SQL Server session state provider.
It works great in production, no problems at all.
In development it has caused weird problems that we can't seem to get rid of.
Sep 11 '18 at 20:02, by jadarnel27
> System.Data.SqlClient.SqlException: There is insufficient system memory in resource pool 'default' to run this query.
I never set up a dedicated resource pool on my laptop for Hekaton like Paul suggested.
I forgot about that conversation until just now.
 
your laptop needs to go to the gym
 
Just needs brain training. Not a good enough memory
 
@JoshDarnell i gave up on hekaton when assigning resource pools ended up seeming to increase the number of OOM events
well... not "gave up" so much as "changed jobs shortly thereafter"
actually heard from that job a while later that the great Ned Otter ended up giving an assist in root-causing that little chestnut
 
2:00 PM
@PeterVandivier Yikes.
Maybe I should email Ned.
 
he's been known to do a post or two on the subject
;p
 
@JoeObbish no u
@PeterVandivier Heh, yeah.
 
2:15 PM
0
Q: Setting up SQL Server Developer Edition

mattI just installed SQL Server Developer Edition and SQL Server Management Studio, how can I configure the server? I want to configure it to have server name localhost-sql-server, with a login/password. I found the configuration manager but not sure where I can modify this.

 
That's babbies first SQL install
poor guy has no idea the pain he's about to go through
 
comment answer detected
 
nope
comment does not detail renaming process; does not answer question
 
bad answer comment detected
 
2:25 PM
flag and flog
 
Erik - I thought you might like to know all our nightly utilities jobs defragment indexes and then update stats. ;-)
I laughed when I first saw that
 
sounds like a job for a consultant
they should be running every 15 minutes
 
yah, that's what I suggested lol
 
also you should back up, drop, and restore your databases every night
 
too much work, pros auto close
 
2:28 PM
@MaxVernon are you enterprise?
 
@JoeObbish yes sirree bob
 
why aren't you rebuilding indexes 24/7 then?
 
lol. just run the job in a tight loop?
we love unnecessary I/O
@PeterVandivier we have a couple of vendor-provided databases that were configured like that. FML.
 
online = totes
 
we also have a single vendor-database where their software auto-shrinks the database and log frequently.
 
some dba max is
letting this hanky panky go on
 
@PeterVandivier lol
 
@MaxVernon get more RAM
 
@ErikDarling its so hard to prove that indexes don't need to be defragged
 
you should have enough ram to hold all indexes in the buffer pool
that way rebuilds don't do I/O
hth
 
2:32 PM
@JoeObbish always need more ram
 
@MaxVernon no it isn't. just stop doing them.
 
I bet Max's PLE is under 300 seconds
 
@JoeObbish you know it is
 
@ErikDarling No one ever got fired for doing index rebuilds
 
no one ever gets fired
 
2:33 PM
^ this
 
Problem Solved
 
I got fired the day after I came back from vacation once. that was fun.
 
"Why's the server running slowly?" "We're increasing performance"
 
@ErikDarling i quit over index rebuilds
 
way to take a stand
 
2:34 PM
fight the power
 
Why even rebuild indexes? Just drop them
 
even better - add an index to every column
 
Beat me to it
 
single-column indexes, with no include columns. and also have no clustered indexes.
 
Everyone knows that performing 100000 key lookups is faster than a scan... right?
 
2:35 PM
if the missing index suggestion pops, you're not done yet
 
@George.Palacios common knowledge
 
(100000 was the biggest number I could be bothered typing)
 
MAX(BIGINT)
 
MAX(VERNON)
 
lol
 
2:36 PM
oh boy
He just called you the biggest number he can imagine
 
its easy to get smaller when you start big
 
The only higher number that scientists understand than MAX(VERNON) is the number of ongoing legal cases Oracle has at any one time
 
I need to navigate the American healthcare system
I became annoyed after 2 minutes
my time is already being wasted
 
it's built with annoyance as the primary concern
 
i'm trying to get new insurance and i'd rather die penniless from hospital bills
 
2:39 PM
@Erik any suggestions to improve the performance of the xquery here? dba.stackexchange.com/a/241307/6141
 
@ErikDarling whispers (single-payer health care)
 
@MaxVernon then i'd die waiting for a doctor
@JoshDarnell how long does it take now?
 
@ErikDarling It's not bad over here if it's an emergency to be fairt
Although 2-3 weeks for a routine appointment with a GP isn't fun
 
@ErikDarling It takes 10-15 seconds on my laptop.
 
the nurse I spoke to the other week at the surgery basically told me to says it's an emergency even if it isn't if I need it looking at in under 2 weeks
 
2:41 PM
@JoshDarnell 3 seconds on mine. get a better laptop.
 
@ErikDarling OP says they canceled the query after 10 minutes.
On one of their busier servers.
 
@JoshDarnell
SELECT
    files.[file_name],
    MIN(CAST(files.event_data AS XML).value(N'(event/@timestamp)[1]', N'datetime')) AS oldest_event
FROM sys.fn_xe_file_target_read_file
(
    @file_path + 'system_health*',
    null, null, null
) files
GROUP BY files.[file_name]
OPTION(NO_PERFORMANCE_SPOOL, QUERYTRACEON 8649);
 
What do you get if you change min to count? I've got around 50k events.
 
@George.Palacios which country is that?!
 
@ErikDarling 4 seconds 😱
 
2:44 PM
@PaulWhite the UK
We're in a pretty bad state at the moment
 
@JoshDarnell yep but remember spools are always good
 
most likely
 
politics are dumb
 
Thanks, @ErikDarling.
By the way, does anyone know how to fix the code highlighting in the post? The backslash within single quotes is messing things up.
Jun 20 at 13:41, by Joe Obbish
can you guys cool it with the political stuff? that's not the point of this room
 
@JoshDarnell could maybe maybe get it faster by dumping some stuff in a temp table but eh
6 messages moved to ­Trash
 
2:47 PM
hah
"Erik Darling has invited you to join Trash"
well thanks Erik
Way to say how you really feel
 
yet you're already here
 
It's some weird quantum effect.
 
i wonder how many xml queries in blitzcache would be better with the no perf spool hint
or 8690
hm
 
1%+
Minimum.
 
@JoshDarnell think that's "just how it is" - does nchar(92) work as a sub?
 
2:55 PM
@George.Palacios you spelled 100% wrong
 
in code i mean, it def fixes the highlighting
 
@JoshDarnell I'm not aware of a great solution, but meta.stackexchange.com/q/124024
 
This is certainly not how it works in Transact-SQL. Perhaps we need more specific dialects than <!-- language: lang-sql -->? — Aaron Bertrand May 31 '12 at 15:18
heh
 
or i could just... you know... try it...
https://dbfiddle.uk/?rdbms=sqlserver_2017&fiddle=21cd0a1bbb074a42ee29090ae9853940
 
Or you could just abandon syntax highlighting for that code block
 
3:00 PM
Code with no syntax highlighting? What are we... savages?
 
I don't know. How long does it take you to get a GP appointment?
That seems like a pretty good metric.
 
@PaulWhite Your search-fu is so strong. I tried to find that and couldn't.
He's even using the same basic code that I am as the example.
 
@PaulWhite hah. We have video GP appointments now as a result of our failing services so... silver lining?
 
@JoshDarnell It helped that I remembered Aaron asked it.
Though it is the top result for a search of: single quote highlight*
 
3:53 PM
@Forrest In your new blog post, your DMV screenshot shows total_worker_time of 5,114,683. The next paragraph refers to that as "5s of CPU for the query." I assume the 5 million number is in ms, which seems like that would be ~5,000 seconds of CPU. What dumb thing am I missing here?
 
microseconds?
 
Oh snap.
You're right.
 
oi oi oi
 
> Total amount of CPU time, reported in microseconds (but only accurate to milliseconds), that was consumed by executions of this plan since it was compiled.
That is serious OP behavior from SQL Server right there.
 
it's like the duration column in profiler
 
3:56 PM
By the way, @Forrest - thanks for linking to my blog 😍
 
perfmon is the only tool you can trust
 
Erik linked to Richie's EF post the other day and it hurt my feelz.
5 hours ago, by Erik Darling
NOFRIENDO
 
@PaulWhite my perfmon guy would both agree and disagree
sometimes the ingredients expire when you try to cook them
 
@JoshDarnell where?
 
3
A: Large variances between two similar queries when doing WHERE EXISTS on related table

Erik DarlingI understand the need to anonymize, but it makes analysis really difficult. There's also not a reasonable way to guess at why when you query two different tables, you get different performance without seeing the table and index definitions (aside from the fact that they're, well, two different ta...

 
4:10 PM
fixed
 
3 hours ago, by Josh Darnell
@ErikDarling Sounds like evidence of collusion.
 
i'll fix you too
 
i'll fax you back to 1985
That'll fox you
 
i'll flex my pex and cash some chex
 
😀
 
4:15 PM
i would love to go back to 1985
man
now i'm angry that it's current_year()
 
But then you'd be missing out on the collective works of Weezer.
 
might take a while at 9600 baud
but worth it
the 80s were superior to every subsequent decade in all respects
 
and prior
 
excellent point
 
i think if i turned 21 in 1980 and died at 31 in 1990 i'd be fine
 
4:21 PM
yep seems like a good deal
I might go for 16-26 though
 
how about 18-28?
 
good times
well yeah sure but I'd want a couple of years of illegal drinking
oh it's 21 in the US eh
 
hah
yeah it does build character
 
absolutely
 
> so we end up with process that starts rather quickly, but as soon as fragmentation kicks in its performance drops drastically
Is this @MaxVernon's coworkers?
0
Q: Indexes getting highly fragmented during normal usage of system

MichalI am using MS SQL Server 2014 Standard Edition in my project and recently I have encountered an issue with index fragmentation getting high during normal usage of the system by the users. Currently indexes are rebuild once per day during maintenance window, but after certain operations some of t...

 
4:29 PM
my bet is on NEWID
without reading anything on that question
 
> I have encountered an issue getting high during normal usage
 
lol
 
comments are already OOC
 
frfr
 
Where is Phil Factor when you need him
 
4:35 PM
would a funny developer suicide note be "unexpected EOF"?
 
pretty dark, but sure, why not
 
> Cannot continue the execution because the session is in the kill state.
 
now that's dark
 
Darneli is a man of two faces
Light and dark in equal measure
 
beard and no beard
 
4:42 PM
Janus Darneli
 
game of OPs
 
4:54 PM
@PaulWhite is this an Enterprise only feature?
 
@JoeObbish does l____e still care about cmemthread?
 
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