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gbn
9:45 AM
I now have trace flags 9801,9802,9803,9804,9821,9826,9827,9828,9883, and 9905 enabled in my development instances...
If anyone want to play
 
yesterday, by sp_BlitzErik
Issue with security update for the Remote Code Execution vulnerability in SQL Server 2016 SP2 (CU): August 14, 2018 https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/sqlreleaseservices/issue-with-security-update-f‌​or-the-remote-code-execution-vulnerability-in-sql-server-2016-sp2-cu-august-14-20‌​18/
 
gbn
10:05 AM
I don't read this on Sundays
 
sure - just showing it had been mentioned and briefly discussed
 
10:26 AM
@sp_BlitzErik I love archery!
 
 
3 hours later…
1:40 PM
@sp_BlitzErik I can see California's influence in this week's newsletter
 
I would like 1) California breaks away from the US, physically, legally, or both. 2) It dies in a fire.
 
florida would suffer then :(
 
False
 
think about the swamp people
don't you care about the swamp people?
 
How does that influence the price of purple in Pakistan?
 
1:45 PM
so what's up with latches?
 
Hekaton doesn't have them. Next question.
 
have you checked?
can't trust marketers
 
@PaulWhite AHAHAHAHAHA +500000
@JoeObbish Yes, biblically
 
Latches are replaced with much more interesting and intractable problems
 
Sean knows how to enjoy life
I wish I laughed as often as he does
 
1:48 PM
@JoeObbish Spend more time at the pool
 
@PaulWhite does hekaton have superlatches instead? like superbugs?
@SeanGallardy going to the pool causes cancer
 
super-dooper-wooper latches
 
@JoeObbish Only living things get cancer, so by virtue of being alive...
 
that's like saying only living things can die, so I might as well jump off this bridge
 
dark in here this morning
 
1:50 PM
Also, if you ever walk into any building in Kalifornia there will be a sign that says, "This building is made with materials that are known to the state or Kalifornia to cause cancer and birth defects"
 
22 hours ago, by sp_BlitzErik
sounds like an xy problem
 
better, it's an XYZ problem
 
@JoeObbish How very Nietzsche of you
 
crikey that's a bit cultured for this crowd
 
I won the internet if Paul thinks I'm cultured!
 
1:52 PM
@PaulWhite SEWR--
it looks like SSMS has finally given up on life
 
The New User banner will save us
 
it fought a long, hard battle
 
Explain
 
đź‘»SSMS
 
@PaulWhite this
 
1:57 PM
Apparently all known problems with SSMS are fixed in SOS
Or will be, in about 20 years
 
/lost
 
SQL Operations Studio.
HTH
 
sounds like sean needs to SOS yield
 
meanwhile, we will wait
 
2:24 PM
Paul "Notorious Pun" White
 
2:40 PM
exponential backoff for CE makes demos much harder
anyone else have that experience?
 
3:05 PM
@JoeObbish -_-
 
@sp_BlitzErik wut
 
no comment
 
well don't take it too seriously
it was only a joke
 
can we talk about what a ridiculously expensive hobby shooting arrows is?
 
can you only shoot the arrows once?
 
3:12 PM
this isn't a rpg
 
well I don't see the problem then
 
Don't buy the carbon shafts, get the crappy aluminum ones for starters
Also: New York, so there's a 50% tax on everything
Big Dem cities don't like weapons like bows
 
you'd think they'd throw you a free lane rental when you drop like $1000
i feel like i fell for 20 different bow memes when i bought this stuff
but when the rev comes
flesh wounds for everyone
 
violence isn't allowed on the stack exchange network
 
expulsion violates the NAP
 
3:20 PM
that release, yikes.
> He got the carbon arrows
My first bow I used my fingers as the release, no sights
/Waits for Erik as Stallone memes
 
someone mspaint Erik sitting in a tree wearing camo
guaranteed chat star from me
limited time offer
 
@SeanGallardy but it kinda looks like brass knuckles
@JoeObbish anyone taking joe up on this offer please use a respectable flecktarn pattern, TIA
 
I hear query plan arrows are cheaper than carbon arrows
HTH
 
> all costs are estimates
 
try loading your receipt in plan explorer
 
3:31 PM
i'll load you in plan explorer
2
 
Oooh
 
@sp_BlitzErik Pink Camo it is
Two stars back to back, this chat just got interesting
/makes popcorn
 
joe needs a bully
 
Joe is too tall to be bullied.
Or is that not how that works?
 
If you lived in Florida and/or Texas you could shoot off your back porch and save yourself $16 in range fees
 
3:34 PM
@sp_BlitzErik this is actually true
 
You'd also have no state or city income tax, so there's another 15k/year saved
 
come on now
Erik works online and he lives in NYC
those types of arguments won't work on him
you instead need to talk about the great culture of Texas
 
@SeanGallardy tried texas, it was familial misery
we lived in austin for 6 months
ran screaming
 
> you go to the Bluest city in Texas and hate it
 
where is Sean moving?
or did he already move?
 
3:36 PM
everyone is worried about keeping austin weird
they should concentrate on making it not boring
 
try the midwest
 
what a bunch of dullards
 
great place to raise a family
 
@JoeObbish Container comes tomorrow, flight is Saturday
 
moving container for all of your stuff?
 
3:38 PM
@JoeObbish Yes, it's 6'x7'x8'
I don't own much, I am not a collector of "things". Actually I own more technical books than anything else...
Most are signed, too.
 
why didn't you just travel in the container?
that's a solid nyc apartment size
 
@sp_BlitzErik It's bigger than a typical NYC apt
I'd be too afraid of the wide open spaces
@JoeObbish In fact, one is signed by Joe Sack ;)
 
it's probably just to pass as an intellectual depending on who is over
Here's the important question: do you plan to load the container with your shirt off?
 
@JoeObbish I don't think there is any other way to load the container.
 
@SeanGallardy i have a picture of a dead body signed by joe sack
 
3:44 PM
LOL
 
someone is having a grand old time uploading anonymized plans to paste the plan
incoming low quality question
 
if I uploaded a plan with a secret message for you, would you see it?
 
i don't click on every plan that comes in
i clicked on these because them came in a group pretty rapidly
 
Fighting urge to rest api pastetheplan…..
 
if you have that much free time get to work in mspaint
maybe one of your signed ms paint books will be helpful
 
3:52 PM
My artistic skills are less than Joe's ability to use a clustered index
 
does anyone care that indexed view modifications take out serializable locks?
asking for a blogger
 
blog about it anyway
 
@sp_BlitzErik Don't FK checks take that too?
 
foreign keys are the worst
 
@sp_BlitzErik I think it's interesting.
 
3:58 PM
@JoeObbish you're saying they need more American keys?
 
@SeanGallardy my sql server database is a melting pot of indexes
though not as much as the in memory guy
 
@JoeObbish False, it's homogenously heaps
You're against Indexes
 
@SeanGallardy cascading actions definitely do
 
I've heard you say the only good index is a Columnstore index
 
@SeanGallardy He uses those fake indexes.
 
4:00 PM
@SeanGallardy I don't remember that, but that does sound like something I'd say
 
@JoeObbish I don't think you ever did, but it sounded good!
 
also
"the only good index is a disabled index"
 
"When a heap and Columnstore index love each other a lot..."
That's how Joe explains it to his waifu
 
heapstore indexes when?
 
sean gets weird when he has too much time off work
 
4:07 PM
@JoeObbish If only I had a new book to read..
 
@JoeObbish You're the one asking if he's going to pack the container with his shirt off =P
2
 
@jadarnel27 Shots fired!
 
@SeanGallardy just read my support tickets instead
 
@JoeObbish I told you I would
 
@SeanGallardy you never sent me your address, pal
 
4:08 PM
@sp_BlitzErik You said the on in Texas, friend
 
friendo
 
… and Joe breaks the cycle
 
@jadarnel27 I am v. secure in my manhood and don't find such questions to be weird
 
nothing wrong with caring about a friend's comfort while enduring physical strain
 
If he really cared he'd bring me some fake lemonade with ice cubes in it
 
4:10 PM
perhaps joe was concerned about sean developing melanoma from extended exposure to florida's harsh climate
 
@sp_BlitzErik After 13 minutes I turn red
that's up for the initial 7
 
are you at all concerned that a family might try to move into your pod?
florida people are basically hermit crabs
 
@sp_BlitzErik In FL? No. In TX, yes.
harsh as
 
@sp_BlitzErik I was mostly curious why he even bothered to work out
but now I see
 
@JoeObbish You didn't know why I worked out?
 
4:16 PM
aye
seems to be a lot of injury
and you can't gain weight
 
It overall makes me stronger and less prone to injury
Plus it makes moving easier and things stay the same weight but they feel less heavy ;)
Also: Pool
You should work your mind and your body, sadly in America people do neither. You shouldn't be extremely intelligent and physical fragile and weak. You also shouldn't be a tank and have no intelligence IMHO. Plus, if I don't do anything physical I have a harder time sleeping and I tend to get antsy.
 
there's a lack of role models displaying both traits
muscular people are portrayed as dunces and smart people are often portrayed as scrawny
 
@sp_BlitzErik Agreed
 
but it's fine because the current generation engages in amazingly detailed critical thinking
like comparing all current events to harry potter movies
 
@sp_BlitzErik AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA ahaha hahha hhahaha ah aaaaaaahhhhhhh, ugh aha ugh. That's was a good one.
 
4:30 PM
 
all I got is a 50 dollar bill
need to buy lunch
ideas?
 
buy it in nyc
home of $15 eggs
 
could I even afford an avocado toast?
@SeanGallardy I agree with this and now I feel bad. thanks
 
me and sean will coach you
eat 6000 calories a day
3000 of them should come from whole milk
squat 3x a week
i think that's everything
 
squats are too dangerous for me
 
4:38 PM
oh yeah don't do cardio until you're 250lbs
 
and what am I, a baby cow?
 
a baby cow could lift you
you could not lift a baby cow
 
that's 2 gallons of whole milk per day!
 
you've got to make up for current deficits
 
@sp_BlitzErik not true
look it up
I can lift 85 pounds
 
4:40 PM
poidh
deadlift lonny
 
@SeanGallardy what's up with adaptive joins?
did you guys do it wrong?
what the hell is wrong with windows server 2012?
there's no disk cleanup?
 
@JoeObbish That's a week worth of lunches!
@JoeObbish sorry boo
 
@JoeObbish just use powershell
 
> 2012 was so 7 years ago
 
> lock_mode LAST_MODE
this is the shit of horses
 
4:55 PM
Sean
you guys did adaptive joins wrong
didn't you
 
@sp_BlitzErik ummm… where'd you see this?
@JoeObbish :shrugs:
 
SELECT   mv.name, mv.map_value
FROM     sys.dm_xe_map_values AS mv
WHERE    mv.name = 'lock_mode'
ORDER BY mv.name, mv.map_key;
 
I KNEW IT
I'm going to talk to my lawyer
 
@sp_BlitzErik I didn't know it would show up there... I don't think it should TBQH
Not sure if that's a defect or not...
 
> Sean wants to remove information from XE
 
4:58 PM
@JoeObbish It's not a valid lock, sooooo
 
you're not a valid lock
 
That's like having a 6 gear manual transmission that has "Gear 7: Last Gear" that you can't put it in
 
Just got an unsolicited voicemail from a guy named Adrian that wants to buy my house. What a nice guy.
 
> The last lock type in this list is kind of an interesting one. I believe this maps to the RangeX-X lock type seen in the documentation
Nope.
@jadarnel27 Rocky's wife got a sex change?
 
5:02 PM
@jadarnel27 i get those for houses i don't own
@SeanGallardy fwiw it shows up during serializable ops ^_^
 
^__________^
 
@sp_BlitzErik Sounds like a good opportunity for you!
 
@sp_BlitzErik How many times have you sold the Brooklyn Bridge to tourists?
 
SELECT   mv.name, mv.map_value, xo.description
FROM     sys.dm_xe_map_values AS mv
JOIN     sys.dm_xe_objects AS xo
    ON  mv.object_package_guid = xo.package_guid
    AND mv.name = xo.name
WHERE    mv.name = 'lock_mode'
ORDER BY mv.name, mv.map_key;
@JoeObbish my new business is selling sql server data center licenses on canadian ebay
 
I don't get it
you should sell express licenses instead
 
5:07 PM
i sell downloads of express as data center
i mean
data centre
 
do you sell French versions too?
 
exclusively
 
So I just checked to make sure I wasn't lying to you
I was in fact lying to you
 
go on
starts a text message to joe sack
 
LAST_MODE is LCK_M_RX_X
So it's correct
 
5:12 PM
bccs conor
 
That should be changed
because LAST_MODE isn't helpful at all
however RX_X is
 
indeedy doody
 
/sigh another thing to add to the XE list
 
should i open a user voice issue about it?
 
I jest, I like improving the stuff
If you want, otherwise I'll just open up something on the back end. the crappy thing is, usevoice will get more attention than me :(
 
5:15 PM
i'll uservoice/blog
happy to help
unlike some people
 
NAME NAMES
 
@SeanGallardy can i make your code name as my inside source "lardy gal"?
 
@sp_BlitzErik Sure, sounds... womanly
like… a large woman
who is oddly enough, a vegan
 
is that one of those scam blogs?
 
content-wise, yes
 
oh, is this to avoid hits?
uhhh... is that an april fool's joke?
 
@sp_BlitzErik That's so wrong if it's meant to be serious
 
it's not just wrong
 
5:35 PM
^.^
 
I don't even know the word
I think literally every sentence is wrong
 
"heroin is a vitamin"
 
"there’s really nothing to do when it comes to maintenance on a ColumnStore index" - wrong
"but there’s no fragmentation on ColumnStore indexes" - wrong
"data pages that aren’t needed anymore are removed automatically" - wrong
"Since everything is a scan, there’s no need for statistics.' - wrong
I suppose it could be argued that "Well, there are no statistics on ColumnStore indexes" is correct depending on interpretation
 
you should leave a comment
as joe celko
 
heh
that was published today
if it was published six years ago I could kind of understand
anyway
the important thing is that pass doesn't want me to present at summit about columnstore indexes ^_^
 
5:43 PM
i bet they'd give him a session
lvl 500
10,000 hp
10,000 mp
 
I just noticed the author's name on that blog post haha.
 
yep
sighs
 
you're beneath him
teehee
 
what's the bozar rec?
standard MSFT one?
 
5:48 PM
for 6 cores or in general?
 
general
 
start with 2, 4, 8 depending on cores and tune from there
we're very mindful of threadpool
 
so microsoft, DCAC, sqlskills, and BOZAR all have different recommendations
no wonder everyone thinks it's magic
 
it is
consulting magic
 
the only one I haven't seen yet is "leave it at 0 because MSFT knows best and SQL Server self tunes parallelism"
ok
I'm going to pick a fight with Vassilis and lose
wish me luck
 
5:52 PM
@JoeObbish ahahahahaha
Pretty sure I know what that's in regard to
 
what the rootin tootin heck
0
Q: Can data size be less than index size in sql database?

DBOnRecently I came across a question like , Can a SQL Database table contain index size greater than actual data size ? I have gone through few articles and studied bit on this and few experts recommended partition of table. Kindly help me understand this question and scenario. Thank you

 
@sp_BlitzErik huh?
 
i have no idea
 
You've run me through the gambit of emotions today
 
@sp_BlitzErik At least they said thank you.
 
5:59 PM
i don't even know how to ask for clarification
 
Same, actually.
Oh Max.
 
> Bing servers handle thousands of users’ queries every second from consumers around the world doing searches through their browsers, from our partners using the Microsoft Cognitive Services APIs, and from the personal digital assistant, Cortana (source)
 
grrrrrreat
 
Do people actually use Bing?
 
6:06 PM
dunno
 
> thousands of queries per second
> thousands
 
that's very nearly a busy oltp server
 
To be fair, they're talking about search queries there. Who knows how many inefficient database queries are run for each search.
 
@jadarnel27 I get gift cards, so yeah
@JoeObbish I think they mean per server with an undisclosed amount of servers
 
@SeanGallardy I really hope that's true.
 
6:15 PM
SELECT * FROM BING_RESULTS WHERE SEO LIKE '%memes%'
 
check out this young money bingionaire
 
Hahaha wow.
 
ISWYDT
@sp_BlitzErik Gotta save up for that new monitor and laptop since a multi-billion tech company doesn't have budget for... tech...
In other news, my intestines are making sounds I've never heard before...
 
absorbing nutrients?
it's like a word search
 
6:26 PM
@sp_BlitzErik Sounds like it
@sp_BlitzErik HAHAHA I can't star this hard enough!
 
I accept your response as answer , It is simple explanation and understandable .. Thank you . If you have somw time pls explain me what can be reason for index sizes greater than data ? Performance ? — DBOn 8 mins ago
i'm ready to get off this ride
 
6:41 PM
@sp_BlitzErik voted
I think all of my insides are going to revolt
 
sounds like a BM problem
 
Bad Mojo, yeah
someone is messing with my feng shui
 
6:56 PM
> sysbinsubobjs
 
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