Hi, welcome to IPS! That's a tough situation having a sibling that devalues you. What we need to help you is a goal you want to achieve instead of a broad "how to just deal with this sibling?" request. What did you want to do? Communicate to her that you dislike her comments about your decisions and other things in your life? Let her know that fatalism is an unwise thing to follow? Tell her to drop the fatalism comments? Do you want to avoid hurting her feelings or don't care at this point (because you're tired of it)? Any additional information such as country of residence is good info too. — ElizB 1 min ago

@DavidK "Do you think your husband would have any desire to talk about his job openly in an effort to change people's minds?" - I don't know...Trying to explain to every snob will weary him... — Amanda d'Halluin 1 min ago

Hey Blue Pineapple and welcome to IPS :) Questions asking for advice what you should do, are off-topic here. You rather can ask here questions that demonstrate a specific goal and ask for help how to achieve this specific goal. The "how do I avoid a `I'm sorry, but...´?" portion of your Question might have potential to be off-topic. But for (telling and) answering that, you had to provide some more details about what exactly you mean by that, what is you planed course of actions and how you think this might come over rather than what it should be perceived as. — dhein 38 secs ago

"Fat people know...." sounds offending... — dhein 1 min ago

As someone who has put up with decades of offensive remarks, yup, it is. — arp 1 min ago

would you mind then please removing an offensive label from your post and isntead use an descriptive way of transporting your message? I would appreciate that. — dhein 35 secs ago

I deliberately used the word "fat". People who are overweight are used to being addressed and thought of in offensive ways, that's a big part of why this is such a sensitive issue. I can guarantee that the overwhelming majority of the time when someone of normal weight offers sympathy to an overweight friend, it just makes the friend feel fat and unattractive. — arp 24 secs ago

yeah I am not disagreeing with you. But we have a being nice policy for the whole SE network. And hence, even purposefully offensive posts for a means are not allowed. So no matter whats your intend, please remove the offense. — dhein 50 secs ago

I took out the word. — arp 1 min ago

Since I could see an in-scope question in your post, I rewrote it to something that would work here (plus some parts where I had to read multiple times to understand what you meant). We can't tell you what to do (should I apologize), but we can provide help for a clear goal (I want to mend a friendship, preferably without apologizing). If you're not okay with my edit you can roll it back, but you'll have to edit the question for it to fit in IPS. — MlleMei 1 min ago

What is more important to you -- letting your friend know that you did nothing wrong, or resolving the fight and keeping your friendship? — さりげない告白 1 min ago

Have you connected with them on social media? — NVZ 1 min ago

@NVZ Got some, not all of them, on Instagram. Apart from that I don't have any social media. — Suimon 1 min ago

Hey @icanfathom! Just wondering, are you comfortable "discussing" your own body with that friends? For instance, I noticed that when I started mentioning my body insecurities to some friends, they felt more at ease to reciprocate it. — essay 1 min ago

hey @Martin.! Not na answer, but I wanted to address a part of your question: sometimes, when someone tells you about how someone hurt their feelings, the first person is just venting, or wanting someone to listen and/or comfort them. They are not necessarly looking for advice or another perspective. — essay 1 min ago

Things is what do you want to admit you weren't in the wrong ? Not blocking all your weekend because you didn't block one week end ? Or that you didn't blocked one week-end before hand, which would have been preferable. And why do you absolutely no apologize ? Pride ? Is this worth more thant this friendship ? — Walfrat 47 secs ago

@Nelson nothing prevent asking politely a user if he could update his post and then eventually locking with historical lock or put a notice on the post if the user is not active anymore. — Walfrat 6 secs ago

I don't necessarly agree. Having been somewhat overweight myself, I often felt the need to talk about it, but I was too ashamed to bring it up, even with close friends. — essay 1 min ago

@essay If you disagree, write an answer of your own or upvote one you already agree with. But comments are only to suggest improvements or ask for clarifications. — Ælis 43 secs ago

Since social media isn't an option, how does your best friend usually invite you? Text/phone call/walks up to your home and asks you directly/...? Is the same option available to the friend's friends? (maybe after you get their contact info the next time your friend takes you along). — Imus 1 min ago

@Imus It's usually per text for (more or less spontaneous) events like grabbing some drinks. One time she did ask me while we were hanging out because that would take a little more planning to meet up. But like 99% its text. If I had the phone numbers of the others I guess I could contact them the same way yes. — Suimon 56 secs ago

'Flat' isn't slang, it's just British-English. — Spagirl 1 min ago

good answer, upvote — bigbadmouse 33 secs ago

@essay I definitely am. But I also want to be careful of bringing up my bodily insecurities as if I know exactly what my friend's going through, because I would say my issues would be seen as more minor in comparison. Don't want to make unhelpful false comparisons. — icanfathom 32 secs ago

@Reubens4Dinner As I understand it, "platonic" means "nothing physical (certainly no sex)", but it can still means "romantic" (exclusive, quite emotional). I would not speak about a normal friendship as "a platonic relationship". — Suma 1 min ago

My friend, your girlfriend just wants to express how she felt, she needs you to listen, nothing else. She's not asking you to judge or to suggest practical solutions. Just listen and express that you understand how she feels. — Manuki 2 mins ago

I understand your mom left the country, but how did she leave the house and the family? Surely she packed some bags? Did she say anything? Were your parents (and you) living together before this? Did she say anything to your dad ? I suspect there may have been other reasons to leave the family house, and the president is just an excuse, unless your mom is very passionate about politics. He's been president for a while, so why now ? Can you ask her? Did you or your dad contact her since ? — Manuki 1 min ago

Hi there, and welcome to IPS. As it stands, your question sounds like a rant, but it's rather unclear and very broad: what is your goal? What do you want to achieve? Do you still want to talk to him? Do you want to communicate with him that his behavior is rude/bothers you? How old both of you guys are? Can you please clarify? And edit your question? thanks — OldPadawan 1 min ago

Thanks for reminding. Will clear things. — Swapnil 1 min ago

@OldPadawan Have edited question check if it is correct. — Swapnil 12 secs ago

It's still not quite right. Take the site tour and take a look at this page: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/on-topic. In your case, this site is not meant for asking people what to do but rather how to do it. You need to decide what you are going to do, and we will help you figure out how to do it. — Reubens4Dinner 1 min ago

@Reubens4Dinner I think now I've edited perfectly. Thanks for your attention. — Swapnil 1 min ago

So, what do you mean by "won't talk seriously"? What kind of subject are you wanting to discuss? Is it a specific topic or just his general behavior? — Juliana Karasawa Souza 1 min ago

Yes general behaviour that he is been doing each time. He don't care if I'm telling what he want to know. He just break sentence and tell that he have to go. — Swapnil 7 secs ago

@corsiKa, for non-US nationals especially (like myself) the general behavior of the waiters is particularly annoying, because they come to check on you every 5 minutes. I know they are trained and pressured to have the table turned as fast as possible, and to be friendly and make sure the customer is pleased, but I think they overdo it a little bit — Juliana Karasawa Souza 1 min ago

That's cultural diference here, I see that this behavior (checking all the time on the customer) is mostly US, and non-US nationals generally find it REALLY annoying. On the other hand, US nationals don't like the service in the countries when the waiter is just in the background, waiting to be signaled. — Juliana Karasawa Souza 1 min ago

Thanks for your attention, valuable time and efforts. — Swapnil 45 secs ago

Yes reversing role may or not realise him what he's been doing. Rather I would block him even for this reason I had blocked him year ago but he was complaining a lot so I unblocked him. So I've blocked him now too. — Swapnil 1 min ago

Hi Juliana. Welcome to IPS. Thanks for taking time to answer too. This stack requires that we back up answers with experience and/or data. Can you please explain why what you suggest would be the best option? Why it would work or if it has already worked for you? — OldPadawan 40 secs ago

@8protons: I agree, it depends on the situation; and I don't use this technique every time I meet someone new. Sometimes, it might be due to my perception of the other person's behavior ("Are they hitting on me?"), or sometimes it my be due to my own self-consciousness ("Oh shoot, was that too friendly? I don't want them to get the wrong idea."). There is definitely the potential it could offend or annoy the potential friend, but sometimes that is a risk I am willing to take, if it lets me move out of my anxiety regarding the situation. — John T 10 secs ago

@Cronax Note that she's also the ONLY female in a group full of men. There IS some sexism there and not only the perceived age. In my job, I am in a managerial position in a factory and the current board is about 40-60 female-male ratio and I'm the youngest one by FAR within my grade and I'm treated with a lot of respect between my peers. You know where I see this attitude? At one of the factory floors that I work on - 95% males, average age of 50. I'm higher ranking than their department manager, I have more expertise, and we look about the same age range. The difference? He's a man. — Juliana Karasawa Souza 27 secs ago

Hi @OldPadawan! Those suggestions I gave worked for me on the past in different situations with different people. I had a coworker that would call me to ask questions when he was bound to get interrupted during the call or in a hurry, like 5 minutes before a meeting, and didn't realize it, so I started prompting him to call his attention to the fact that he might get interrupted or it was not a good time for HIM to call. I did both the asking for the time and the pen and paper and it worked. 1/2 — Juliana Karasawa Souza 51 secs ago

@OldPadawan The second one worked with a different co-worker that was immune to the prompting and was quite sensitive to candor, so I couldn't openly say "would you cut it out, if you call me and don't want to hear what I have to say, just don't call" or something along the lines, so I used the "passive-agressive" approach (not really my style) of dropping the call and waiting for them to call back and saying "yeah, I really didn't have the time to wait until you were available, so I just went to do my stuff and waited for you to call back when it was a better time for you". It worked too. 2/2 — Juliana Karasawa Souza 1 min ago

Hey Juliana, welcome to IPS! Since back up are required could you edit what you just said in comments into your answer? Thanks in advance! — Ælis 1 min ago

Done! Thank you for the input! — Juliana Karasawa Souza 49 secs ago

Hi and welcome to IPS! I've placed this on hold for the time being, since questions asking us to make a judgement call for you are off-topic here. You can check out our help center for more info - good questions here are usually goal-oriented, like how to talk to said neighbor or your landlord, if something like that would be helpful for you instead. — Em C ♦ 1 min ago

Hey Mark! Can you explain how you've tried to explain the difference to Mr. Charisma, and perhaps elaborate on their reaction a bit more as well? Including anything you tried (and didn't work) or thought of doing (but are afraid you're unable to pull off for some reason) in your question, will make sure answers won't suggest things you've already tried or that won't be feasible to you. Besides that, it narrows down your question a lot more, making it more answerable. I'm also curious what kind of advice he's giving, can/will you disclose a little more on what he says when 'he gives advice'? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 29 secs ago

I'm not trying to assume, but it is worth noting that most answers are going to assume that you're never going to be romantically interested, which is good for your current situation. Change as you feel is appropriate. — tuskiomi 1 min ago

Ok, I updated the question. — user70848 1 min ago

This isn't a question, really, it feels more like a rant with the thin disguise of "challenging opinions" stapled on top of it, you use a lot of combative language here such as "your precious snowflake feelings" that leads me to believe that you're not here under good faith, you're here to yell loudly about how terrible people are. (also, if you're a white person, you're inherently in the majority, so you don't really have room to judge others on this - you've never had to face being the minority). — Ash 25 secs ago