I'm not really sure I understand from what the help center tells me how this is off-topic, are you trying to say that I didn't have a clear goal in mind? If that's the case, then I wouldn't say that the intention is to find out if my friend is too busy to help me, I just want to send him a sufficiently polite message with the intention in mind of trying to be understanding (instead of simply strategic) and perhaps with enough luck he will respond me. Well he agreed to help me half a year ago but it's not until recently that I told him that I was ready to implement those plans. — Msr 1 min ago

I hadn't realized that I was asking "What should I do?" and I thank you for that since it seems my anxiety was keeping me away from thinking of a clear goal and perhaps just vaguely as trying to think of something to say. And let me tell you, my goal first and foremost is to understand whatever is his situation in general whatever that might be [through social interaction not by theorizing or assuming] (1), to hopefully arrive to an agreement: that is, setting a specific date for when he could help me (2) so that the situation doesn't feel stressful, and sure to hasten him slightly haha (3) — Msr 48 secs ago

(3) because experience has repeatedly taught me that passivity is useless when it comes to human interactions, either because they forget or because they compartmentalize and tell themselves to leave it for later, or who knows really. We did not make this agreement in the last chat, but rather half a year ago but it isn't until now that I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he seemed upset (e.g. ":/") that he couldn't help me but perhaps since I only waited two weeks to ask him when he could help, it could have been too soon and maybe he didn't want to disappoint me again. — Msr 50 secs ago

Well this agreement didn't occur in a single chat but in many many chats. He did initially told me about his preference not to help me in a specific way, at first I argued because I wanted him to fully help me but he ignored those arguments, then I tried to understand him and made a concession and he agreed to help. While there is evidence to suggest that he is unwilling to help me, I don't think that the evidence would rule out other alternatives and if you want I could list them. Maybe but it's worth doing something about it since it's difficult to convince people to help me. — Msr 1 min ago

Some people are simply unaware of social cues. Sometimes it's simple unfamiliarity with the cue, but other times these cues are just things we do not perceive. As one of those people, I tend to find it immensely helpful if people trying to give cues could note that I missed the cues and tell me without behaving in a hostile manner. — Ed Grimm 30 secs ago

I appreciate that you took your time to respond me, and I see there is overwhelming evidence that points to the possibility that he is not willing to help me, however, to me, that seems inconsistent with the fact that there are still other alternatives which, I feel, haven't yet been ruled out: as an example, he might feel to lazy to think about what to say or he might not want to feel judged for having taken so long to respond, in case he had been putting it off for some while because at first he didn't know what to say or he felt that his answer wouldn't be of my liking (e.g. until July) — Msr 27 secs ago

@EdGrimm sounds like the start of an answer, one actually backed up with experience. May I encourage you to write it? We could really use more answers that are actually based in, and backed up with, experience. This answer that you commented on is still lacking that back up. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 16 secs ago

Hello, I tried to improve the first part of your question. However, I didn't read the second part. The information there looks like a wall of text and I'm really not sure they are necessary (you might want to do something about that, either by removing them or by improving the formating). — Ælis 14 secs ago

Welcome to IPS! I'm really sorry for what you are going through, unfortunately your question is too broad for us to answer. Here we can only help you if you want to communicate something specific to someone specific. I believe that your idea to read books is a good one and I encourage you to keep doing that. In the meantime, you might want to read the questions and answers here are they might also be able to help you in some way. — Ælis 5 secs ago

@MlleMei is right, I tried and this is what happened — Trunnion 1 min ago

Additional to the "wave", you may want to try "high-five" or (maybe even better) a handshake. — virolino 1 min ago

What do you want your response to achieve? Do you want to be blunt? (I'm guessing not or you wouldn't have asked). What would a 'best response' achieve for you? Generally questions asking us to decide what to say or what the best response is are off-topic and primarily opinion based. Can you tell us a bit more about what your goal is, and why the response you're thinking of wouldn't be sufficient? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

Based on your last item I guess the whole question is about kissing the cheeks? — Arsak 26 secs ago

@Arsak Yes indeed — Ælis 25 secs ago

Hey, comments here are not supposed to stay. Could you edit them into your question? — Ælis 32 secs ago

To be clear, are you asking "How can I apologize while avoiding another lecture at the same time?"? — Ælis 1 min ago

I felt that the tag "apologies" was more important than the "colleagues" one so I change the tags. Feel free to edit back if you disagree. — Ælis 28 secs ago

@Ælis Yes. A meaningful apology, though, not just a "sorry" :) — Belle 1 min ago

@Ælis I must've overlooked that tag. That's a good one! — Belle 39 secs ago

Have a look at these related questions: How should someone apologize when both parties were wrong?, Friendly co worker suddenly distant/rude because of different views and How to apologise for how you said something without going back on the content. — Elmy 1 min ago

Did this experience happen in France? Culture matters a lot here and I cannot remember anyone blowing kisses in France, except lovers or Betty Boop. — Taladris 26 secs ago

Hello and welcome to IPS! Unfortunately, asking us to decide for you what to do is off-topic on this site, since it's a personal decision and you know her better than us. We might be able to help with carrying out your plan though - for instance, how to present your offer to pay her debts, if that's what you end up doing. — Em C ♦ 49 secs ago

Why do you think your answer wasn't suitable? — Ælis 1 min ago

I never suggested agreeing or disagreeing with the stranger — Lifelong Scholar 1 min ago

Wonder where'd you read the 'Good point' (or even 'bad point' for that matter) in my answer, let me reiterate the essence of the answer is to keep the interactions with the strangers short while focusing more on the child. — Lifelong Scholar 22 secs ago

@Taladris : In my more than 25 years of living there, and even if this happened some (long) years ago, as I said, yes, I've seen that many times :) — OldPadawan 1 min ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it should be on workplace. Boss-employee relationships are different than interpersonal. — Joe S 51 secs ago

@JoeS Something being on-topic elsewhere isn't a reason to close. — Ælis just now

I agree, I also think that "Boss-employee relationships are different than interpersonal." He is asking how to professionally ask for help in the workplace because he has not completed his assigned job. That is a workplace issue, not interpersonal. — Joe S 1 min ago

Possible duplicate of How to ask my neighbor who joined my sport club to play with other beginners? — BKlassen 14 secs ago

I'm confused by "I had learnt a great deal about this software already just by trial and error (and challenges), so when I read this PDF/Book I am struggling". It seems like if you already know the software pretty well, a lot of the book should already be familiar to you? Can't you just use the book to fill in gaps in your knowledge? — DaveG 38 secs ago

@JoeS Interpersonal skills are the skills used when two or more people are interacting with each other. Unless either the boss or the employee is not a person, the issue of how to communicate is most definitely an interpersonal one. The fact that it is in a work setting where there is a specific power dynamic provides context in which to frame answers, but does not negate the fact that the situation involves an interpersonal interaction. — Rainbacon 1 min ago

What are you considering doing and why are you afraid it won't be polite enough? — Ælis 53 secs ago

This answer might be a good one if you expand on why this script would work. — Meg 24 secs ago

@Meg Thanks for leaving a comment! We always need more people doing so. Sadly, the account of the user that originally wrote this answer is now deleted. As that makes it impossible for them to improve this answer, I am going to delete it immediately instead, as this is not enough of an answer to leave around :) — Tinkeringbell ♦ 53 secs ago

both "could be" and "I will" even softened by "maybe" are in essence "good point" or agreeing. Leading with that feels polite - and is, to the stranger. What does it say to your child though? That you're doing something you know might not be best? And anyway, whether you agree and then add clarifications or disagree and explain why, you're still tacitly giving this complete stranger a vote on how you do this, giving weight to their unsolicited opinion. If they told you "you don't have the right shape of neck to wear that scarf" you wouldn't give them the time of day, right? Same for this. — Kate Gregory 1 min ago

How much time does she spends without a child and you with some of her friends? I know from own experience that locked in between 4 walls drives most people crazy quite fast. — Selenor 36 secs ago

I'm surprised, the formatting is indeed much better! Concerning the second part, as I see it, the first subsection is pretty big and the structure might seem quite confusing, the second subsection somewhat too though not as much as the first. I'm not really sure how I could improve the formatting but I'll try my best. — Msr 24 secs ago

You admitted that you're also a new player. Are you ok with whatever technique you end up using to exclude the low-level player being used on you by the older players? — PascLeRasc 51 secs ago

I've read some of the questions from over at the workplace. There it is suggested the person is on the spectrum. Is that a possibility? If so it could effect the answers. — bruglesco 1 min ago

Any chance you could recruit someone else at work to act as a buffer? Having a little moral support if you have to tell this guy to stop being annoying at the concert could help a lot. — DaveG 12 secs ago

Could you add more about your coworker? Like what you expect his reaction would be if you are straight-forward with him? And do you believe that your coworker will be able to understand subtle hint? — Ælis 54 secs ago

It's not a legal issue, but doctors do have an ethical obligation to, if they see something, inform someone about it. The generally recommended course of action is to privately say to that person, "Excuse me... I'm a physician and I need to tell you something. You might want to get that [mole, growth, whatever] checked out". That way they're not withholding potentially lifesaving information and at the same time not making a diagnosis without an examination. — baldPrussian 1 min ago

@Ælis Other post about this coworker gives more info: workplace.stackexchange.com/q/129968/86962 (I'm assuming it's the same guy as in this post). — DaveG 56 secs ago

So long to your moderatorship HDE. I've been very appreciative of the work you've done as a moderator in the year that I've been here. You've been reasonable, level-headed, and fair. I think I speak for most of the community when I say that we'll miss your moderation contributions. Best of luck in your studies and your moderation elsewhere! — Rainbacon 22 secs ago

You have been (and will further be) missed around here! I hope you experience good fortune in all of your other endeavors! — Upper_Case 1 min ago

Thank you HDE for all your contributions here (and for helping me get up to speed when I first joined the mod team)! Best wishes for your other sites, and of course we'll be happy to see you around anytime :) — Em C ♦ 30 secs ago

Interesting, thank you for your thoughtful response. I have a feeling that answers will generally be more strictly policed than questions (for a variety of reasons), but talking about the balance between them will obviously depend on the questions being closer to how we want them to be. I will try to bear question quality/nature in mind more consistently in the future. — Upper_Case 5 secs ago

@Upper_Case one thing that may explain that discrepancy might be that once a question has an answer, people are quick to start moderating the answer but forget looking closely at the question. We can ask answerers 'what makes your doing X polite' but if the question doesn't state what is considered 'impolite'... we'll just be going in circles. I also have a feeling (no hard numbers here) that once a question has a comment and an answer or two it won't be closed as often as when it has a comment pointing out what should be improved and no answers. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 32 secs ago

I don't think it can be simply described as some meaningless agreement over Facebook since we've talked about this in several chats, and at first it was difficult since told me he preferred not to engage in the way that he assumed that I wanted him to help me. However, after understanding how it is that he interpreted my request then I made a concession and it seems he felt the concession was reasonable enough that he ended up agreeing to help me. I do not feel it is a good idea to drop it and find someone else since it is quite difficult to convince someone to help me in the first place. — Msr 31 secs ago

With Ælis' help, I feel the question's formatting has been improved and I believe it is much clearer now to read. Following Tingeringbell's advice, I rewrote the question so that it would be focused on a specific goal. What do you think about this improved version? Do you still feel the question needs some editing? — Msr 50 secs ago

With Ælis' help and the new edits, I feel the question's formatting has been improved and I believe it is much clearer now to read. Following Tingeringbell's advice, I rewrote the question so that it would be focused on a specific goal. What do you think about this improved version? Do you still feel the question needs some editing? — Msr 1 min ago

One suggestion - I'd recommend not bolding "Your children pose no threat" as it makes this stand out and connects it with the previously bolded sentence "Your children are not vaccinated". When skimming over your answer, I read this as "Children who aren't vaccinated pose no threat", which is clearly untrue and not your intention. — LeopardSkinPillBoxHat 36 secs ago

With @Ælis' help and the new edits, I feel the question's formatting has been improved and I believe it is much clearer now to read. Following @Tinkeringbell♦'s advice, I rewrote the question so that it would be focused on a specific goal. What do you think about this improved version? Do you still feel the question needs some editing? — Msr 1 min ago