Thats awesome man, thank you! But, i never read books and the probability of me knowing the author of the book shes reading is unlikely. So should do? Should i starts to read books or copy her interest, so we have a common interest? And what approach would you recommend in this senario: shes getting her books etc from her locker (true event, happened today), should i offer help or something like that? Thank you. — Fred Weasley 2 mins ago

If you don't have great book knowledge, you could try the other suggestions in the post (if her shirt has something interesting on it like a band or a movie, the dance that you mentioned seeing, etc.) The main point is to observe her, and pick a conversation starter based on something that you observe. I wouldn't offer to help with her books as a first conversation, unless she's very obviously struggling with them. — Rainbacon 43 secs ago

This is a beautiful, wholesome answer! I love it. Thanks for taking time to put together all these thoughts. It fills me up somehow. I'm going to put a reminder to read this every week a couple of times. Thanks for replying! :) — Mugen 1 min ago

Just for interest, what would be a not racist word for "indian"? What is racist about this word? I'm asking because I know discussions about suddenly no longer using a word because it's racist - but don't dare to ask why it is. People don't like to be told they're doing wrong without knowing why. Or am I wrong and you talk about the way to dress? — puck 1 min ago

So, are you in a primarily English speaking environment? And why do you assume they start speaking in English because of you? Are you sure they all speak the same foreign language and them talking in English is not just because it’s the only language they all share? — AsheraH 10 secs ago

Don't think too much in labels. Extrovert or introvert - this has nothing to do with your issue. You lack practice, that's your issue. If you want to know how you can overcome a lack of practice, fine, but for now, perhaps stop this labeling. She is label x, you are as well - you must be the same, right? Wrong. I think it would be better if you stopped thinking like that and stopped using those words in your question. — Raditz_35 1 min ago

This is a huge assumption, maybe they are talking English to practice it and it has nothing to do with you or your friends? — Paul Karam 1 min ago

@PaulKaram Under some circumstances perhaps. However, it's happened with several different groups and they all almost instantly transition from speaking XYZ language to English once they approach a room of primarily English speaking people. — Anilla 1 min ago

Not worth an answer, but have you considered offering to exercise with her? That's something many folks (including myself) neglect when trying to lose weight. It could be as simple as a short walk during lunch or after work, and will help to take focus away from food. — WordsandNumbers 1 min ago

@WordsandNumbers: If something isn't worth an answer, it is even more not supposed to be a comment. I would advice you trying to build an answer around it, as in the comments it very likely won't persist — dhein 1 min ago

@Rekesoft: According to the NHS (nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception‌​) and a famous scene in Friends, "near 100%" is not the same as "100%". Actually, the effectiveness of the "typical use" is surprizing low. The methods for birth control for men are unfortunately limited. — Taladris 27 secs ago

I have known some foreigners who would switch to speaking English around other English speakers hoping that the English speakers would converse with them to give them better practice than they can get on their own. I strongly agree with the suggestion to talk with them and find out from them why they do this to better understand their motive before attempting to suggest they should continue in their own language. — Ed Grimm 2 mins ago

@Taladris I guess that "typical use" is using them wrong, or more probably, forgetting to use them at all. But for those couples who are keen to be taken by the heat of the moment and doing it wherever they are, condom or no condom, not using other methods of contraception does not add any more security to not using a condom. "Remeber that day when you forgot to put on your condom, honey? Guess what, I had forgotten to take the pill too". — Rekesoft 1 min ago

@Rekesoft: or the condom was not put correctly, or was accidently damaged when put on, or out of date condom was used, or the condoms were stored in a bad environment,... many things can happen. My problem is that we should probably assume that the OP is a regular, average user, and not a perfect user. It is like the bad driver fallacy: most people consider that they drive better than the average. Though, to be fair, now that the OP is worried about pregnancy and had got two links about birth control and condoms, he is somewhere between regular user and perfect user. — Taladris 1 min ago

@Taladris There's only two ways to use contraceptives: responsibly or irresponsibly. If the former, all methods grant more than 99% of security. If the latter, none. Just don't blame the method when is ALWAYS a problem with the user. And I'm not sure that a condom has ever broken during use, without the user noticing. All those horror stories about using condoms badly, damaging condoms when put on (and not realizing? really?), etcetera come from a single source: to quote Dr. House, "people lie". — Rekesoft 8 secs ago

"If she does for some reason decide to respond with a load of anger and forms a temper simply because she can't have sex with you for a few days... I would consider leaving the relationship. If you're worried about having a reasonable proposition and plan of action (to help with your nervousness) end in anger and suffering then that's a good sign that it's not a healthy relationship." I think this section absolutely needs to be backed up. — dhein 1 min ago

It would be useful if you added a tag to your question for the country you live in, since there are cultural factors involved in answering questions like this. — Dave Sherohman 1 min ago

On top of the good comments below I would like to point out that some people feel safer speaking English to avoid interactions with some angry local. — SZCZERZO KŁY 33 secs ago

@Davesherohman I live in GC Australia — Fred Weasley 21 secs ago

Are your parents included in the family you want to tell your name? They may need need extra care in this conversation, as they are the ones who gave you your birth name and may feel offended at your rejection of it. — David K 1 min ago

How old is the daughter? Do you want the child to be in the conversation as well, or just the mother? — David K 1 min ago

Why do you need to start out a conversation with them and try to understand why they would speak English? — Blaszard 41 secs ago

Because OP is just assumption that they are speaking English because of the groups near them.. Asking them to speak with their own language instead could come out as rude.. starting a little conversation would give OP the real reason behind them speaking English then they could take a better decision about what to say. — Paul Karam 1 min ago

@DavidK The daughter is 4 years old, she really don't need to be in the conversation. — Ælis 1 min ago

Thanks for the suggestion, and I do that now if that is possible. But you also have to justify why Johnson's equation is wrong. Otherwise the reader may think Johnson's equation is another possibility. — Bart 16 secs ago

Thanks, you gave me a bit of certainty that readers understand it if my wording becomes slightly less concrete during this delicate passage of the article. — Bart 59 secs ago

@Bart obviously I don't know the details of your specific situation, but as BestGuess suggests in their answer, you could say "Johnson's equation is valid only in case A. In this work we explore how this could be excessively restrictive and how to expand the equation validity" — Federico 1 min ago

Hey dhein, I fear that, in order to be a proper answer, your post is lacking a way for OP to still communicate what they which to communicate (which "please to change your behavior because of me") — Ælis 1 min ago

Hey, I know this is an old answer but do you have a previous experience where you successfully use this technic? And can you edit your answer to tell us about it? — Ælis 1 min ago

It's a bit difficult to read because of the constant use of plural pronouns; it keeps breaking the train of thought and requires extra concentration to always replace with "she" in your mind. Can you edit those out and use singular-pronouns instead? — Radu Murzea 1 min ago

@PaulKaram Could you edit this into your answer? Comments here are not suppose to stay and I feel this is valuable information. — Ælis 37 secs ago

@Ælis I didn't think FCs had to tell the OP how to do the thing that the FCer suggests they don't do. An FC should give 'A clear explanation of why the author disagrees with the frame of the question. A presentation of an alternate frame and an explanation of how the new frame will solve the OP's problem'. yes, dhein could address those more explicitly, but they don't have to tell the OP how to do something dhein doesn't believe they should, do they? — Spagirl 9 secs ago

@Ælis the obvious example is when somebody says e.g. do you want to come upstairs and look at my etchings. — user334732 50 secs ago

@Spagirl "A presentation of an alternate frame and an explanation of how the new frame will solve the OP's problem" -> Maybe I'm not reading carefully enough but I don't see what the alternative frame is and how it's slow OP problem. I don't say it's not in there but, if it is indeed, maybe the answer should be edited to make that part clearer? — Ælis 57 secs ago

@Mugen What's wrong with losing respect in the family? It might be worth it. — only_pro 36 secs ago

Maybe I misread the Op, but I see it as OP asks how to tell them they don‘t need to. And I am presenting a frame challange that tells OP that they are very likely aware that they dont need to and hence he shouldnt tell them that they dont need to — dhein 5 secs ago

But what if you are wrong? Have you maybe some suggestion for OP to make sure that your assumption is correct? (and maybe what to do if you aren't?) — Ælis 1 min ago

I stated already in my answer that I dont have. I stated that from my personal experience it is very likely that the group feels like me. I gave reasons for how and why I would feel that way and how this way the problem would be solved. But I cant give any suggestions about something I never experienced backed up with own experience. So if you think that makes this a bad answer, feel free to down vote, but I have no idea how I am supposed to add any such info without it being more than just assumptions. — dhein 49 secs ago

Good answer. I think that approaching her by saying she's cute places an obligation on her to either reply in kind or it puts her in an awkward position to reject the advance. By starting a conversation, OP will be able to figure out if he truly likes her or if OP is simply attracted to her. — doctordonna 57 secs ago

Right, first things first: "Then, I eventually started to like her". Wrong, you don't like her, you like the idea of her. You'll only know if you like her once you've started talking and really getting to know her, not just observing from a distance — BKlassen 1 min ago

if you can't state what "X" is to clarify your question could you at least say what culture this is that finds it unacceptable to say no — BKlassen 30 secs ago

@EmC I'm not sure what "technical limitations" you're referring to, but most SEs, including this one, have at least customized the Tour page. Maybe it would be prudent to add a little more to the "Don't ask about..." section of the tour. — user45623 1 min ago