@ypercubeᵀᴹ morning

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GOOD MORNING MY PEOPLES

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Be interesting to see when @SeanGallardy-Microsoft modernizes his secrets to include more advanced functionality, like JIT.

SQL Server will probably be selling the ability to compile stored procedures for the next 100 years: "look our Hekaton compiles stored procs into DLLs so they can run natively!"

.... meanwhile, we can write stored procs in languages that aren't horrible, like C.

he's baccckkkkk!!!!!

@EvanCarroll So we've had that for years... man you guys are really playing catch-up

@EvanCarroll Says the guy who just bashed Hekaton which is compiled in .... C

@EvanCarroll Not PG's market share ;)

bwahahhaha

yeah, that's what the masses are clamoring for. writing stored procs in c.

you wonder why sql server just hasn't caught on yet.

there it is.

I never bashed Hekaton for being compiled in C. You guys wanted something that ran 100 times faster, so you went with the greek translation of "nothing to do with C#"

You didn't hear? Most DBA's are C experts anyway, it just makes sense.

> .... meanwhile, we can write stored procs in languages that aren't horrible, like C

which is Hekaton

which you just said you never bashed, yet then bashed?

I'd be surprised but I doubt PG has recursion so it's understandable you don't know what that is...

Nah, I bashed Microsoft for holding their hat on the one piece of technology that closest approximates the glory of PostgreSQL C-extensions.

You always make me smile :)

Actually, they could rebrand Native Stored Procs, as "HEKATON EVERYWHERE"

Or we could just keep being the TPC-C and TPC-H winners

you mean always ton

PG certainly has recursion.

it doesn't have TCO though

so yeah, go smashing your stack all you want, you've got the powaaa

@EvanCarroll Because you never get a ROI

@sp_BlitzErik Gotta have "Always"

ROIs are those things that factor in licensing fees and techno surfs?

Want to make money - just start trademarking things with Always before their name

@EvanCarroll lol, it's almost like you live in your own world... oh wait, you do

Always, Make What's Next Wherever You Want to Go Today... PostgreSOFT

How did I do?

C+ for effort, D- for originality

You can do better

"I've got a sickness and the only cure for it is more Evan altruism"

Where is "Always" in that? You can't even play by your own stupid rules.

Glad to know The Borg hired the right guy for the job.

@EvanCarroll That's exactly what the science competition people said every year I participated... I think you're both in cahoots!

They also used the phrases, "Cheating-esque", "Not in the spirit of the game", "Borderline illegal"

Look, I can't help it your rules were made of wood and have a little flex to them which I'm obligated to tension

Let's just say I was constantly disqualified - but not for lack of ingenuity.

@EvanCarroll That's actually quite the compliment considering the Borg had the best technology :)

I'm glad you've finally admitted to it in public

That's the first step, now on to step 2

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Every time you say that an angel dies and you move closer to a raise.

If them's the rules.... I should be making bajillions

I'd say eleventy-billion or so by now

@EvanCarroll Who had better technology than the Borg?

I feel like there's a SE site I could look this up...

scifi

That's what I'm thinking - I thought there might have been one specifically for star trek though

oh maybe

though i can imagine that running into copyright issues

tl;dw

It's a video from Evan so I just assume it's wrong

EVAN IS THE LIGHT AND JOY THAT YOU SEEK.

Pretty sure that's a mantra from one of the weird cults in a TV show

Does your SQL Server need Kool Aid?

Evan is light. Evan is happiness. Evan is almighty!

@EvanCarroll Evian is overpriced water!

@SeanGallardy-Microsoft indeed. scifi.se

I didn't create that, they just hijacked my name. But, Evanopathy is the under-priced medical treatment.

If you need touch healing, it can be yours for the low low price of $4,995.95/forehead touching.

It used to be funny but it has an expiration date

@EvanCarroll I'll hold out for "punching people over the internet" -opathy

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