*things

Ah. :(

Good to see dads being accepting?

@Catija Good, but I'm still all weepy about it.

@apaul Well, that's OK. :D

$$\int_0^{2\pi}e^{\cos(x)}\sin(x-\sin(x)){\rm~d}x$$

← 1 message moved from Simply Beautiful Art's realm of calculus and analysis

@Catija Nah, it sucks, it's real fuckin hard, but it's good. Fuckin feelsy bullshit. Fuck.

@apaul What's wrong with feeling things? You obviously feel things really strongly... and you express them a lot. That's OK! Is this part of the whole "Man up" crap? Because... that's crap... you know.

@Catija I know, it's just a strong instinct to fight

It's just hard to reconcile the hard ass I used to be with the person I am now.

@apaul You're a marshmallow now, embrace it :P

Be tough. Be strong. Is hard to reconcile with be emotional, be vulnerable.

I'm a marshmallow who's put more than one person in intensive care and been jailed for it...

Remind me never to go to Florida...

;)

Don't. Totally don't. It's hateful and it sucks...

So... you're like a toasted marshmallow... crusty on the outside but soft and gooey on the inside.

But it has the happiest place on the planet.

In other news... someone said I look like Audrey Hepburn on my hats entry... and that's weird.

@Catija Disney is the most hateful place of them all ;)

But... Eeyore makes me need to hug someone.

@Catija Audrey Hepburn is pretty hot. Take it as a compliment.

Eh... but I don't look like her at all...

@Catija are you fucking kidding me?

No?

Audrey Hepburn is the archetype of sweetness and light.

I like her when she's sassy. She's sassy in My Fair Lady.

@Catija that's the happiest thing I've seen in ages. Is that you and the human you created?

It is.

It's a beautiful thing, just sayin

:D Thanks! We have a lot of fun... he's actually trying to eat my nose or chin in this photo.

Time to go! Back in ~30-45.

I remember my little girl... I was trying to sleep on the couch when she about 1.5/2 she poked at my eyes and said "eyes, eyes"

Those are the best parts. Don't miss out on that stuff.

She was with me when I got my very first tattoo. I know it sounds like terrible parenting, but bear with me.

She would lay on me to nap and try to rub the word "free" off my chest and I would tell her "no, it's a tattoo, it doesn't come off." Her first baby doll had painted features, mouth and eyebrows, so she called her first baby "tattoo"

Sorry emo stuff.

Awwww that is adorable.

@apaul It's ok.

Nope.

@apaul Contrarian.

I just spent the last chunk of forever explaining how I built my hat.

@Catija We all have to be good at something.

:/

Just feel like l reached out to the people closest to me and they all said "let me get back to you later"

Just now?

My partner is spending time with our ex, I love them both, but sometimes I want them to drop their shit and realize that I need them.

Ya.

Them plural and singular

Shit is hard...

So ... your partner was mad at you about you getting together with your (plural) ex... but still spends time with her?

@Catija They love her.

Well, we love her

Seems like if you need them, it would be cool if they could both help you out. Have you talked to them about it?

I tried. She's sick and sleeping. They are preoccupied.

Ah. :( Anyone else you can talk to?

I reached out to my friend. She's working ATM.

Oof, that's some late work hours.

@Catija Yup

:(

Poly is hella complicated. Hence why I tried to be done with it.

So "tried"? Is that part of getting back together - you're back as a threesome?

Hard be done with it when you still love people though.

Is it something else or is this about your dad's tombstone?

@apaul There are different kinds of love. Do you feel the same way towards both of them?

@Catija Not really. With Laura it's more of a platonic friendship thing at the moment, but I know it's likely to become more than that. With Marlis it's rebuilding our marriage. But I know Laura and Marlis have a much deeper relationship.

Shits complicated.

@apaul Do you know what you want? Or what you think you want out of your relationship with them?

@Catija Honestly I kinda want all of us to be happy and satisfied, but I know that's the hardest possible arrangement.

I guess I meant more specifically? For example... would you be happy with having your marriage back but letting Marlis have a relationship with Laura on their own?

Poly is exponentially complicated. It's not simple addition.

I could live with that, but it's hard not to wanna be with her too.

Sure... I can't even begin to understand... I can't imagine how complicated it can be to have three (or more!) people each having an equal level of commitment to each other...

It's four relationships... you and Marlis, Marlis and Laura, Laura and you, and all three of you at once... that's a lot to balance.

Laura is one of my favorite people.

@Catija yup.

Are you starting to see why I'm good at this? Or perhaps really, really bad at this?

I'm accustomed to living with horrifyingly complicated situations that most people can't live with. Makes me either great at IPS or terrible at IPS, either way it makes me experienced.

@apaul IPS is complicated for all sorts of reasons.... I think everyone has their own strengths...

@Catija That's a kind answer.

Although it sidesteps any judgement ;)

I don't really think that it's possible to judge whether someone is good at IPS or not simply by their contribution here. You have lots of really good advice but you often have difficulty actually implementing it... or you have specific blindspots that you miss.

I know it looks like madness from the outside.

No. It's normal.

@Catija Both/And

Someone can be excellent in explaining or teaching something but a failure at actually doing it... hence the "those who can, do; those who can't, teach" adage... It's not absolute... but it... exists for a reason.

It's always harder to see your own stuff.

Sure... we've evolved so that we rely on our friends to tell us when we're being idiots rather than having them pick ticks out of our fur.

@Catija that's more or less what my friend Amanda tell's me. "Great at giving advice, via text, but terrible at following it"

@apaul Well, if two people tell you the same thing, maybe you should listen ;)

@Catija if one person tells you that you're a horse's ass you can ignore them. If two people tell you, you've got something to think about, if three people tell you, it's time to buy a saddle.

:D

But you don't have many friends, so you should reduce those numbers ;)

@Catija damn it. That's how I was avoiding the issue ;)

Can't fool me!

I'm going to bed. Hope you can find some solace.

@Catija meh. Solace is overrated. Sleep well though.

Have you tried writing down what you feel? I've found that can be a way of getting it out and then seeing what you think from the outside. Though, sometimes it takes a month of separation... like... I've got a chat with someone that I go back and read every couple of months.

Half of the things I read make me realize what an idiot I am and half of them I've forgotten... I'm rarely impressed by what I said.

:P

@JohnRennie Can you delete that french mathematician's pictures above?

The pictures of Cedric Villani? Why would I delete those?

They are disturbing.

I'm sorry you find them upsetting, but I don't think anyone else does. The best option is for you to put Slereah on ignore. Click on his avatar and select Ignore this user and that will hide them.

No no I don't want to ignore Slereah :).

Ok @JohnRennie Transfer my previous messages to trash then please. I'll be thankful.

← 7 messages moved from The h Bar

@Catija I don't quite understand why that comment wasn't moved to chat with the others. Seems like it's only debating/discussing?

@apaul Eh... I don't know. It seems to be asking what to do in the other case?

I don't know. I'm still really tired and trying to give the benefit of the doubt. I don't know why but I have zero brain power this morning.

I want to sit in a corner and color.

@Catija I have much the same feeling, but I gotta go deal with my crazy relationship.

@apaul Go into the situation with a positive outlook?

@apaul My current relationship discussion:

A Christmas tree of hungry emoticons.

lol nice

← 1 message moved from APL