Not make every little thing that annoys you your personal problem to fix? This reads more like a rant and doesn't have a question that can have practical answers as you're talking entirely in hypotheticals without specifying a goal. VTC

Really? Wanting to help people who cause themselves excess stress, cause their own work (and home life) to suffer, and mask underlying problems in either management or process is an unanswerable question of me interfering in others' lives?

"So - how can you deal with this behaviour?" - You deal with it by focusing on your own work, instead of trying to convince others to change. Some people could or should be allowed to fail, thus you should stick to your own tasks/responsibilities.

@JohnU If you want to put it like that, yes. You're assuming a lot of things and injecting a lot of bitterness and negatives in this post. You don't seem to be looking for advice on solving a problem. You're venting. That's not what this site is for.

What if your own work is to manage those people, and it would be beneficial all round if you could manage to reduce this behaviour?

@Lilienthal - I'm not bitter, I'm concerned, as I have said at least twice now, it's adversely affecting their health & wellbeing. I'm not angry at these people, I'm worried that they are burning themselves out and not being as helpful as they think they're being. If I was a purely cynical person I'd say let them take on as much as they like as it saves hiring extra people, paying overtime, etc.

If you are their manager, then you already have the authority to resolve it. If you aren't their manager, talk to them so they can resolve it.

@JaneS - undoubtedly talking to them is the way forward, but the question is how to communicate the idea that their behaviour is not helpful to them or others? Their view is that they must behave this way or things will fail, so how can one persuade them that, even if it does mean some things will fail, that is a preferable/acceptable outcome?

The phrase "workplace martyrs" sounds misleading and sets a bad tone for the rest of the description. Maybe the question could be better if you rewrote it starting with the facts and look for a concrete solution. Also look for concrete direction, saying to someone "tone it down" for example is too vague.

@JohnU if you remove the venting, add your Position, routes you want to take and what Kind of solution has your Preference for example: creating and enforcing rules. Ill consider removeing my downvote.

Your post comes across as bitter, if only one or two people said that, you could doubt us. When you use terms like "martyr", you're asking us to get inside someone's head, because it's an attitude. What you need to ask about to make this post on topic is behavior.

The phrase "workplace martyr" is a relatively well-known description of the behaviour as far as I was aware, maybe only in the UK. The "tone it down" phrase was simply because I was unsure what the correct term would be - chill out, tone it down, back off, refocus, get with the plan... I'd never make a therapist that's for sure. I thought the general spirit of the question (concern, desire to help) was obvious but it would seem I didn't quite hit that apex either.

@JohnU those phrases describe attitudes rather than behaviors. That's what we are trying to tell you.

I'm not arguing that, I'm just a bit taken aback that such close scrutiny (and weight) is put on the exact wording I used rather than the overall spirit of trying to help friends/colleagues. I didn't quite expect downvotes for trying to help people, but maybe that's a life lesson!

@JohnU I edited your post for tone, you'll note that the downvotes are disappearing.

Someone's done it for me, and phrased it better than I could - if I could upvote edits I would.

What country are you in? Culture and local labor laws vary significantly with respect to overtime work. In the USA, for better or worse, voluntary overtime is lauded and often rewarded.

@Myles The tone of a post makes all the difference.

Well Richard, I don't know how you managed it but I guess you're probably owed about 50 upvotes for that edit.

@JohnU No problem. We're here to help. I could tell you were expressing a genuine concern.

@kent - I'm in the UK. Certainly no-one minds employees working extra time over here, and indeed many companies (especially American ones with UK presence) have imported the US culture of going way beyond the contracted hours as a matter of course. That's fine for a while or for young keen climbers of the greased pole, but when someone is just running themselves into the ground for little gain, reward, praise, or personal progression seemingly against their will it's just a bad situation.

I'd also add that the workplace side of the question is more easily handled in a professional way. When the person is a friend or family member who you don't work with and aren't the boss of, it's hard to try and help them out of this behaviour potentially against the prevailing expectation their employer/colleagues put on them.