@RoryAlsop That’s what I am struggling with - I can’t find a way to turn the situation into a question for Parenting, because it’s inherently not fair, those who ignore the rules get the reward. I mostly needed to vent somewhere, thanks for letting me do so here and thanks for the virtual pat on the back, @DavidHedlund.

Sigh. I gave it a go. It’s probably too philosophical to be answerable, and it’s an eternal dilemma. We’ll see. Thanks for your encouragement, @DavidHedlund and @RoryAlsop.