The Water Cooler - 2017-09-01

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12:11 AM

see you later people

4 hours later…

3:43 AM

@Dukeling The companies I have worked for send out an email in the last week of December with a list of official holidays in the next year. They also add entries into the Outlook calendar for all the employees. Typically, I look at the calendar at the end of every month to see what holidays are coming up next month. "Let's see, the 3rd Thursday is a holiday, I should ~~strategically fall sick~~ apply for leave on Friday."

As for the "general" public here, the holidays that fall on the same date every year are quite limited (mostly national holidays), the dates of most of the festival holidays change every year, so people use a paper calendar and word of mouth.

You kind of "roughly" know the time of the year when a specific festival (example: Diwali) occurs, you figure out the exact date when you come close to that time. For big festivals like those, marketing also helps. Plenty of sales and offers start bombarding you, so even if you live under a rock, you would still know. lol

@GrayCygnus That doesn't work for me though. I usually come in early at 8am or so, rest of the guys start trickling in by 10am, and the office room is usually full only by 12pm or so. That's one of the fun things about "flexi timings" for you. I usually get 3 hours of distraction free work time as a result.

2 hours later…

6:11 AM

@RichardU Really sorry to read your comment last night. I cared for my wife through 9 months of cancer before she passed away. We filled the time with love as much as we could. It helped that the entire family were very accepting of how things were going to go and that the suffering was largely painless.

3 hours later…

8:56 AM

Hmmm.. As of today, the company I work for is the 7th largest pure-play software company in the world.

@MaskedMan Living under a rock is my M/O.

4 hours later…

12:32 PM

Ok, so we've been given little stickers to stick on the logos of our Dell laptops because the sight of Dells might possibly offend any HP employees that might be floating around (we officially acquired HP Enterprise today).

@Pete so...you have to create a safe space for the HP workers? :D

It's pretty bonkers.

@Pete indeed.. I'm not sure what is more bonkers though - the fact that you have to cover the logos up or the fact that I'm not actually surprised by it!

12:47 PM

The really bonkers thing is that none of our deal is with HP's hardware division, it's purely enterprise software.

@Pete where's Richard U's headbanging gif when you need it?

It's stamped onto my forehead.

My snark-filled comment of the day is on the Health stack - "I don't believe that basic common sense requires citations".

Mister Positive

1:05 PM

@Pete AGREED

@Pete top snarking!

Mister Positive

@Pete @motosubatsu Mine is most people are self serving assholes.

@MisterPositive I've been fairly snarkless so far today..I'm letting the side down!

Mister Positive

user image

Christopher Estep

weird I had 2 in the low quality review queue for which I selected delete but only one is showing up in moderation tools. workplace.stackexchange.com/…

1:15 PM

0

Q: What is wrong with the answer to this question?

My question is about the accepted answer to this question Former manager is asking for documentation I prepared as his employee. Personally, I think there is a better answer given by IdrinkAndIknowThings, but that being said I still voted for it, liked it personally, and do not see it as wrong w...

discussion accepted-answer

Mister Positive

@ChristopherEstep Really?

@ChristopherEstep I did not see it.

Christopher Estep

Yeah, it's weird that some people get things in their review queue and others don't.

@ChristopherEstep posts deleted by author or deleted by community at account deletion do not appear at 10K tools pages. Try to find it in your reviews history here and check if this is the case (I can't do that myself being under 10K rep)

Christopher Estep

Thanks, @gnat

Mister Positive

@gnat Hey there! thanks for the info.

Christopher Estep

1:32 PM

Apparently neither do deletions via review queue because there were 2 in that Question deleted from review but aren't in Recently Deleted. It's a weird exclusion considering that it shows the nightly Community deletions and deletions by vote.

Ok. So I just watched a live feed of our company ringing the NYSE bell. Thrilling.

Mister Positive

@Pete I want to do that....ring the NYSE bell. Don't care if its televised or not.

We had branded cup-cakes and a plastic glass of fizzy "stuff" to go with it.

Mister Positive

Nice.

@Pete ahh ambigious fizzy stuff... it's like champagne but almost universally tastes like crap

Mister Positive

1:40 PM

@motosubatsu LOL

It didn't really taste of anything. I did get a medium grade burp out of it, so not all was lost.

@Pete to be honest not tasting of anything is probably one of the better outcomes you can hope for! :)

in a surprisingly serious question for a Friday afternoon I could do with some opinions on whether my answers are a bit hard to read?

If I had real booze, your answers might be hard for me to read....

I often seem to find myself responding to commentators who seem to have missed something that is (to my biased mind) blindingly obvious in my answer

take this one:

Mister Positive

@Pete LMAO

1:51 PM

10

A: Asked to secretly obtain coworker's knowledge before he gets fired

Damn, that's a really crappy situation for both you and "Steve" As I think you've already concluded warning him is not a smart move, as ruthless as it sounds you need to look out for yourself. Sure him having some notice and being able to prepare would help him out a bit since he could get a ju...

a user commented that firing sans notice isn't inherantly unethical - which I didn't think I'd claimed in my answer

given the general positive tone of the comment I'm reasonably sure he doesn't object to my answer and was most likely trying to help me out

@ChristopherEstep interesting, thanks. I didn't know that LQ review deletions are hidden as well. This kind of completes the puzzle: all these funny limitations are likely made for Stack Overflow because over there showing these deletions would likely er... overflow its 10K tools page. At smaller sites this definitely makes no sense because deletion rate is so much lower. But things will likely stay that way because SE team doesn't care about smaller sites

if this was just a one off I'd just put it down to one of those things but this has been something of a recurring pattern

so yeah.. is my writing particularly impenetrable?

@Pete thanks, he had a good run and is going down hill fast. He won't suffer ling.

hey @RichardU saw your updates when I got in this morning, sorry to hear the news :( I lost my dad to cancer (well to complications - he survived the cancer itself) so I'm all too aware of what an effing-effer it is. Hope you and the family are doing ok (or as ok as can be expected under the circumstances)

@RichardU You're in my thoughts, wishing your family comfort and peace. If I lived closer, I'd offer to bring you food.

Mister Positive

1:58 PM

@RichardU What r u talking about?

@Pete In terms on answering my question, you and I think too much alike.

@MisterPositive I'm mildly amused that my mildly amusing answer to your "pestilent child in the office" question has gathered rampant downvotes.

Mister Positive

@Pete I got a vote from me ;-)

I'd love it more if I had more down-votes and then had an "answer" tick... :D

Mister Positive

LOL

I hope this doesn't turn into a HNQ

I would actually seriously consider doing just that. It just seems polite not to come into the office with a contagious condition. In the past I've given that reason (I don't want to spread this one around).

Ah, someone called me "passive-aggressive", my work for the week is done...

Christopher Estep

2:04 PM

@gnat That's a good point. I can't imagine how many review deletions they get per hour.

Mister Positive

@Pete really, that is hilarious they missed the joke...

@Pete I may mark your as the answer to further the hilarity

If I get -5 and marked the answer, do I get a badge?

@MisterPositive my brother is dying. He's lost his battle with cancer.

@Pete thank you

Mister Positive

@RichardU I am terribly sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

Thanks

It's hard when you're dealing with someone in that state, you don't want them to suffer, but you don't want them to go. In the end, you feel relief, then guilt for feeling relief along with the loss you feel.

I've been through this too often with my family and friends.

I'm going to eat plenty of fatty foods so that when my time comes, it's a heart attack, I just drop, and nobody has to watch me suffer.

Mister Positive

2:09 PM

It sucks to be sure. Felt the whole guilt relief thing too.

With us, it was mainly relief. We didn't want my wife to suffer, and she didn't. We sure didn't do anything to prolong things but instead tried to make that time as loving as possible. I'm paying for some of that with a bad back now from lifting her around, but I'd never do it any other way.

Mister Positive

@Pete Wow. Huge respect for you.

Snarky comment of the day award goes to Kilisi

@gnat sounds interesting, ok, post that answer and see if anyone is confused and upvotes it except yourself (Y) — Kilisi 5 hours ago

Mister Positive

@MaskedMan You mess with the bull you get the horns " -- the breakfast club"

@MisterPositive I found that especially hilarious because his comment defending the short answer is longer than the answer.

2:18 PM

@Pete yeah, I threw out my back a few times with my dad as well.

@MaskedMan I may be the Snark Knight, but Kilisi is the crowned king.

@RichardU Aren't you forgetting someone? ;)

Mister Positive

@RichardU Agreed. If you read a comment sparring match between others and Kilisi, they usually end hilariously bad for the other person.

@MaskedMan Who? Me?

@MisterPositive No, Joe, of course. :)

Mister Positive

OMG

Joe owns this board. We all work for Joe.

;-)

Awesome. My answer got meta-deleted due to a sense of humour failure.

Mister Positive

2:21 PM

@Pete And some cannot learn humor

@MaskedMan Well, Joe is the emperor. ;)

@MisterPositive If they can't learn humour, it must be thrust upon them until they do.

@MisterPositive I know enough not to try to out-snark Kilisi. His wit is razor sharp.

@Pete to misquote Santayana, those who are without humor are doomed to be a source of it to others.

@Philipp - as I mentioned, HR can help. If not HR, your Board of Directors can help. It's not a chicken-egg problem if you find a knowledgeable chicken. If I need a good plumber, I ask people who may know plumbers. — Joe Strazzere 2 days ago

@MaskedMan I wonder what is REALLY going through Joe's mind when he's posting those. I imagine he's along the lines of Scott Adams of Dilbert fame, where he would LIKE to say a few intemperate things but does so with more subtlety

Great moment's in snark that I've heard from other people....

To a minister. "Every one of your sermons is better than the next."

2:28 PM

Hmmm.. How do I convince my PM that an increase in validation errors from yesterday's numbers isn't necessarily a bad thing?

Describing someone: "If you ever see two people talking and one of them seems terribly terribly bored, he'd be the other".

@Pete more validation errors means more bugs are being uncovered SOONER rather than later and can be addressed.

@Pete You might want to replace "errors" with a more positive term, for example, "findings".

Then you can even argue that the increase in numbers is a good thing. :)

That too ^^^^

I'm thinking that validation is there to stop crap from ending up in the other system. Less crap equals better quality.

@Pete absolutely

You're catching little problems before they become big ones, that is always a good thing.

2:32 PM

@Pete Sometimes you should just use the adapter pattern. :P Adapt your technobabble to the level your audience is comfortable with.

Mister Positive

@RichardU Same

This is a good idea. hacks.mit.edu/Hacks/by_year/1996/gore/front_large.gif

I should prepare something like this for the "all hands meeting" coming up next week. :P

Huh. In this case, it looks as though the reporting on the other side is reporting altogether too many errors. Not my problem - woo hoo.

Alternative answer to the "sick kid" question : Suggest that everyone else joins in by allowing them to bring their sick children into the office as and when required. Maybe offer a bonus for multiple children.

Mister Positive

@Pete I double dog dare you to post that.

I am sure that will ruffle some feathers.

Hehe. Probably too obvious at this point.

2:43 PM

@MisterPositive Does your HR policy say anything about bringing in pets to work? ;)

I should post an answer full of double entendre like the old employee review "Mr Smith demonstrates the importance of good hiring practices, his coworkers have been willing to comment on his work and he has never been caught sleeping on the job. The possibility of hiring more employees like Mr Smith should be discussed immediately"

Mister Positive

@MaskedMan LMFAO

I'm one of the first aid officers at my company. If this happened here, I'd tell the guy (and the kid) to spend the rest of the day in the first aid room with the door firmly shut.

@MisterPositive thought you'd like the little bit of "Typhoid Billy" snark

Mister Positive

I did

a lot

2:48 PM

it was either that or refer to him as "Germ Sack" or "Plague Vector" but thought those would be too harsh given we are talking about a sick child. I'm pretty sure my ticket to hell is already booked but I'm not quite ready to upgrade to First class just yet!

Q: "Why do I get drowsy in the afternoon?" A: "Stop drinking hot chocolate after lunch".

What does "self-aggrandizing" mean?

Mister Positive

@Pete Dunno

I think it might have something to do with "passive-aggressive".

I got a gold badge on IPS thanks to that "who are you?" question. It looks like we can expect some relief on the HNQ front. That site is a bigger bikeshed than WP.

@Pete that comment really didn't pull any punches! :D

This passive agressive, self aggrandizing approach is likely the opposite of professional - it would be less professional than taking the kid to work, at least that could have been an honest mistake. What you are suggesting is deceitful, malicious, hurtful to the company he works for and likely to create drama in the future. — Stian Yttervik 11 mins ago

2:59 PM

I blew a raspberry in the general direction of that comment.

@motosubatsu I don't think self-aggrandizing fits there though. Perhaps he meant self-centered or something.

@MaskedMan agreed! I also love how the whole comment is basically an unequivocal slam on Pete's answer but that he does hedge his bets on whether it would be "professional" or not

"Is it professional to be passive aggressive at work if you have a really good reason?"

Mister Positive

@MaskedMan Yep that is fine.

Ugh, finishing up what we've nicknamed "The Colombo project" nicknamed for the TV show's title character always saying "Oh, and just one more thing....."

3:08 PM

Linking for laughs. Before it's deleted:

0

Q: Sat on bench for 5 hours daydreaming. not even open laptop. WTF was that?

I got flu in central Asia but decided to walk around anyway. Along the way I bought various hot drinks. Eventually I got to a french-ish style cafe and ordered and promptly drank 2 big cups of 'green tea'. The tea leaves were big, at the bottom of the cup, and had little white flowers. Then I sat...

recreational-drugs

Mister Positive

@Pete "Recreational-drugs"

Christopher Estep

3:21 PM

that's hilarious

ah, our damned network is changing again.. can't connect to much of anything.

3:49 PM

morning people

Christopher Estep

yo

Mister Positive

4:32 PM

@Pete is hilarious

@ChristopherEstep afternoon sir

@ChristopherEstep It seems we are in the same neck of the woods. I live off 400

Christopher Estep

5:16 PM

lol, yeah that's close. I'm in Marietta city not far from the Big Chicken.

Big Chicken? lol

Christopher Estep

Yes, Big Chicken. :)

ajc.com/news/local/…

damn, now I'm hungry, gimme some chikennn

Christopher Estep

It's such a "thing" that many local VFR pilots use it as a landmark. :)

5:36 PM

Makes sense, I can even imagine Waze saying "Turn right on the Big chicken"

On other topics, seems like a question I asked yesterday before going to sleep hit HNQ

Christopher Estep

Nope, Waze uses street names that it mispronounces. "Turn right at Rosewell Road" for Roswell Rd.

I know that :( I was just imagining the possibility

would be funny

user image

My workplace ^^^^^^^^

Christopher Estep

That's so many

Mister Positive

@ChristopherEstep We live on Lanier, as my wife is a boating/sun freak

But yes, i know the big chicken :-)

Christopher Estep

5:44 PM

The funny thing about Waze is that it mispronounces street names but says Chattanooga like someone who was born here. "Chadnooga"

Haven't been nearly as many drownings this year as usual.

Mister Positive

@ChristopherEstep Been some weather issues on the major holidays this year...weird season

Christopher Estep

yeah it has. We only made it to red top once this year compared to 4 last year.

2 hours later…

7:58 PM

@ChristopherEstep what I heard in my mind reading your answer to the free work assignment question youtube.com/watch?v=txWWi2n76FI long live Star Fox

In the name of "Security" I can't access SE or SO properly except for this chat. Their filters

sorry did not understood you Richard, what are you saying?

@GrayCygnus errr, the filters make SO and all of SE appear like an unformatted mess, no controls are visible and no links work....

user image

Like your browser not properly loading all the pages and requests?

Sometimes happens the same thing on Youtube

Caching problems maybe? Or connectivity issues

8:17 PM

@GrayCygnus they just switched to "hornet" and the thing is as buggy and as painful as a hornet's nest.

1 hour later…

9:23 PM

@RichardU I'm sorry about your brother. That really sucks. :-(

@Pete that's stupid, but little from high-up corporate people surprises me any more. I doubt that anybody below VP and outside of Marketing cares. The rank-and-file software people certainly don't. (Hi from the other side.)

10:17 PM

@MonicaCellio Yeah, I think it’s something dreamt up by marketing. No one is really taking much notice except to point out how stupid the exercise is. Still, interesting times to come!

Christopher Estep

10:40 PM

@GrayCygnus never played it or watched it or whatever.

@RichardU can you put a hotspot on your phone?

11:38 PM

@ChristopherEstep aww too bad, great game for the N64 and for the StarFox saga. At least other 5 people recognized the reference in my comment :/

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Sep '171

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