Column@Table[
Button[i!, FrameMargins -> 5,
Appearance ->
Dynamic[If[TrueQ@x,
FrontEndResource["FEExpressions",
"GrayButtonNinePatchAppearance"],
FrontEndResource["FEExpressions",
"OrangeButtonNinePatchAppearance"]]]]
, {i, 1, 16, 5}
]
Checkbox@Dynamic@x