"Identity politics is one of those phrases most often bandied about by the sort of people who watch Fox News and think Jordan Peterson is a brilliant role model." Honestly, you are looking for enemies where they are not. I've never watched Fox News (don't live in the US), and have no idea who Jordan Peterson is. I don't use social media, nothing, nill, zero. No FB, no Twitter, no Instagram, no Fotolog, you name it. In all truth, I wouldn't even know how to define identity politics. It's just something I've heard in the news. If you see life as a battle, you see events as acts of war. — johstone 52 secs ago

You shouldn't ask for bounties. That is not how they are supposed to work. They are used to generate publicity. If someone thinks that a question needs more publicity, they can place a bounty on it. But that is more likely the case when a question doesn't get any answers at all. Either you place the bounty yourself, or you hope for someone to place an bounty, but you shouldn't ask for one on your own questions. If at all, you can leave a comment on the questions of others saying that that particular question would benefit from a bounty — XtremeBaumer 1 min ago

Just to be clear, I'm not judging you in any way. But I also don't know you. When I imagine your story being told by someone (again, I don't know if this could be you!) whose anxiety leads them to want to never reveal anything about themselves to their own detriment and parents who merely talk about normal everyday things; that's a very different story from a more average person with parents who are blabbermouths with no concept of respecting others' privacy. The lack of concrete example in your question makes it hard to differentiate these since we only hear your point of view and judgment. — Flater 10 secs ago

Won't put this as an answer since it's not about interpersonal skill, but since you've already tried to talk to her and it doesn't go well, have you thought about involving a neutral third party, like couples counseling ? — MlleMei 59 secs ago

Love this answer. Feel like I need it in my own marriage haha. — Trin 1 min ago

I don't feel that being a guest necessitates being untidy. As a guest, I tend to follow how the homeowner normally deals with their messes. Do they rinse the plate and leave it in the sink, or do they place it in the dishwasher? I follow suit. At my own parent's house, I do the same since I know how they operate and what they'd prefer. Sometimes I go the extra mile and help clean up after the meal as well. — Trin 1 min ago

+1 for the perspectives. Some of the things that you allude to -- such as fishing for compliments or feeling undervalued due to being in a minority -- can be a bit hard to understand. For example, I can't recall having ever fished for compliments before, such that while I can vaguely understand the gist of why people do so, I don't feel like I truly have a strong grasp on their mental state or motivations in doing so. So, it's helpful to see comments on the mental state behind these positions, and it'd even be cool to hear more about it! — Nat 1 min ago

My mother asked if she could wear white to my wedding last year, and although annoyed she would think to even wear white, I'm glad she asked my opinion. She ended up finding a light pink dress instead after I told her I'd prefer her not. — Trin 1 min ago