I Agree with @Martijn. For example I had a situation like this were I became a friend of someone with a great amount of wealth and I didn't know when starting the relationship and frankly it was a little weird at some times but after a good talk that I don't care about the money but about her it definetly was far more comfortable. On the other way around if you get uncomfortable with the amount they gift you or pay for when going out, you also need to talk about this. I made the mistake to wait too long before that talk. — Nico 44 secs ago

I do agree a firm No is a good idea, but for family members with similar attitudes. I had to tell them to shut up and tell them to mind their own business. :( As for church family members, it works pretty well telling them I could not care less about their church, but I am digressing. — Rui F Ribeiro 38 secs ago

I do not know and do not care usually works well for me in several subjects...when in the computer I just stop interacting, it disengages people who already know me well (family) and it allows me to cool off before I say something that we both regret. — Rui F Ribeiro 1 min ago

@Niko1978, can I say for years I honestly believed people when they said "I would love to come but XYZ", and was trying to help them by solving their blocker. It isn't always manipulation. — WendyG 34 secs ago

Did you consider just saying that having lots of people around made you anxious? And would that be true? Or does the aunt in question particularly make you anxious? — DaveG 17 secs ago

I agree very much the last part It is usually that expectation that makes one feel like they are being taken advantage of. — Fabio Milheiro 1 min ago

@DaceG Downvoted it since it downplays OP's worries (it is clear the dish set was just an example, and it's not anyone's place to judge what is and isn't expensive for someone else) and doesn't answer the actual question. — MlleMei 1 min ago

This sounds like a phrasing request more than an question about interpersonal skills. — sphennings 49 secs ago

Just say: "You should see the other guy." And then walk off. — BestGuess 1 min ago

No matter how you end up working this out, it's probably a good idea to keep a list of who paid how much for or towards what. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it almost certainly will help a lot at some point in the future. If everyone fully knows that Joe paid $200 towards the couch and Jane paid $100 towards it; or that Alice paid for the mugs while Bob paid for the cutlery; then it'll probably save much grief come the day when one of you start talking in terms of moving to own accomodations. — a CVn 1 min ago