You are ingoring the fact, that not every one is good with following social norms as the majority does so. There mgiht be external impacts making it hard for someone handle messages in the same way as a face to face conversation (not to mention that there are also factors and behaviors making them incomparable anyways) OP clearly states that he has his reasons, but doesn't want to come over as rude while doing so. So telling him that it infact is rude, misses the point of the question. — dhein 53 secs ago

You are ignoring the fact, that not every one is good with following social norms as the majority does so. There might be external impacts making it hard for someone handle messages in the same way as a face to face conversation (not to mention that there are also factors and behaviors making them incomparable anyways) OP clearly states that he has his reasons. So telling him that it in fact is rude, misses the point of the question as he seems to be aware of this being diverged from the norm. — dhein 43 secs ago

You are probably right about my dad’s perspective. But from where I stand, about my grandma, what I would like is to be informed, so that I could make the decision to come back again or not. It is NOT his decision to make, and he violated my right. In my mom’s case, I wish he could have been direct and just told me that they decided before the surgery. I guess my reaction was bigger than this single event because there had been so many similar incidents in the past, related to my finance, career choices, etc. What I really want is to feel respected and that my feelings matter. — Storm 1 min ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because managing anxieties is a personal skill not an interpersonal skill. — sphennings 55 secs ago

you may want to break your two points into separate questions as they don't seem that closely related. For now I'm voting to close as its not clear which point you want answered — BKlassen 1 min ago

JMac is right. This is very risky. — ItsJustMe 34 secs ago

Sorry for being so insistent, it’s just because I think your answer is essentially very good advice. — 11684 1 min ago

How about: "As soon as I finish X, I will reach out to you" — sf02 1 min ago