Your answer makes it sound like you think this person is an adult. To me, they sound like theyre 12. — Jamie Clinton 11 secs ago

Every couple weeks in the HNQs your stuff pops up as the latest vegan drama. Can't tell if you're farming for upvotes as this shtick is a well-oiled clickbait trap, or you're seriously that emotionally distraught from well-meaning people accidentally offending you over very trivial things. I've been following a vegan diet for well over a decade, and I never understood why people were so interested in my personal affairs and reasoning behind why I live like this. But it starts to make sense when apparently it's a realistic trope of veganism as a fad victimized group identity. — user13972 1 min ago

Hi, the question is "How to tell a close friend they're being cheated on when the cheater is my good friend", would you mind be a little more detail about how OP should do that when OP still want to be friend with both parties? Also, please take some time to read "How do I write a good answer" — Noon 1 min ago

Is it possible that your aunt is confusing veganism with lacto vegetarianism? Not a direct answer to the question but it's a nice entrypoint into discussing it, if there is grounds for a reasonable assumption that she simply failed to distinguish between the two (as the "no eggs" does imply that she knows veganism is different from vegetarianism) — Flater 16 secs ago

and said that she had checked the chips and that she also had checked the houmous and there weren't any eggs in it so both were vegan If OP's phrasing is a quote from the aunt, the aunt did not just miss the cheese ingredient, but rather was unaware that cheese is to be avoided as well. I'm not contesting your answer, I'm merely highlighting that it's correct even if it's a matter of active misunderstanding instead of simply glossing over something. — Flater 1 min ago

"When she told my cousin she had checked for eggs"… you might have asked "did you check for cheese as well?" — glglgl 16 secs ago

From my experience, option 3 only further escalates the "conflict", doing little to resolve the situation, and only giving the people you talk to more reason for animosity. Caveat: I mostly hang out with socially awkward people, so maybe this approach works for someone with better social skills. — TheSexyMenhir 1 min ago

Good answer - however, I don't think telling would be "breaching her trust". In general, you cannot expect others to keep secrets for you if doing so has a considerable cost to them (such as breaking someone else's trust), so I don't think Sarah has a "moral" claim for her confession to remain secret. But such arguments aside, yours is a good approach. — sleske 20 secs ago

I'm tempted to downvote this for the 3rd point. A rental company is a business, someone you're borrowing a tool from is a friend. The currency in which you repay is completely different and should either be a favour or a token. The value of a token has no relationship to the monetary value of an equivalent service from a business. A six pack, a bottle of wine, a thank you card, or a box of chocolates all have the same value as a token. — Jack Aidley 33 secs ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this sounds like a phrasing request, which is [out of scope on this SE]((interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/1853/11811). — Noon 29 secs ago

Maybe ask in chat? I don't know otherwise, sorry :/ — Noon 2 mins ago

Blanking part of an identity document doesn't help as much as you'd like - after all, if this person or organisation is happy to accept it with that information blanked out, chances are others will too, meaning the image can still be used to steal your identity. A better approach is to add a note on a part of the document where it can't be cropped out, with the date and the name of the person or company you're sending it to. That serves two purposes: It reassures the recipient that the document is genuine, and makes it more difficult for the image to be used for anything else. — timbstoke 1 min ago

Hey, thanks for the answer! Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer. We require that answers provide some sort of explanation for why they are suggesting this solution, and unfortunately, at the moment this answer doesn't appear to do that. — Noon 23 secs ago

This is one of the few I voted up. I'd stress during this talk that you are friends with Bobby too, and seriously don't appreciate being put in the position of having to chose to betray one or the other. She can share what she wants, but if what she wants is out of the relationship (or perhaps a casual non-exclusive relationship), she really ought to be up-front with your other friend about that. Either way, putting you in the middle of it is a cruddy thing to do. — T.E.D. 1 min ago

@user21820 What you posted here actually sound like an answer. So, would you mind posting this as one? (with a little more details?) I would love to upvote it (since your comment will shortly be deleted) — Noon 1 min ago

@Noon: Hmm alright. I thought it was close enough that I wouldn't have to post a separate answer, but okay I'll give a bit more details. — user21820 1 min ago

I suppose eating the houmous is not an option. So this means the poster will stay hungry, not good, and the aunt will notice that the houmous isn’t eaten, when she specifically bought it for the poster, which is probably more upsetting because she will be wondering about the motive. Better tell her. (I would also not eat the houmous if there is a vegan who was not many food choices, but eat it all if by mistake a non-vegan version wa bought) — gnasher729 1 min ago

@Nathan, make sure that she should not pay bribe for the same apartment ( I mean, you may not get this information) — DDD 1 min ago

@JohnEye That last paragraph really irks me. Yes, we all make mistakes, but cheating isn't a mistake, it's a choice. It's not something that should be forgiven easily. To just sweep it under the rug isn't a valid answer just because other people do it all the time. To put everyone on the same level as actual cheaters is quite insulting. — noClue 2 mins ago

@NotTelling Saying nothing is not a solution to the question of "How can I let Bobby know that he's been cheated on while minimizing the fallout for myself from Sarah". I do accept and even advocate "non-verbal communication" as a form of interpersonal, but for it to be an answer to a communication question the silence would have to "send a message". This answer advocates inaction, and ignores both the question and the conscience of the person asking it. The problem outlined in the question remains, hence it is not a solution of any kind. — Astralbee 38 secs ago

Ok, who is just randomly deleting comments here? What I said was not off-topic and addresses a specific point that was given in the answer. Why was it deleted? To vaguely quote what I said and I DARE the moderator to delete it again: @JohnEye: That last paragraph really irks me. Yes, we all make mistakes, but cheating isn't a simple mistake, it's a choice. It's not something that can or should be forgiven easily. It's not a good excuse to simply sweep it under the rug just because other people do it regularly. To put everyone on the same level as actual cheaters is insulting. — noClue 33 secs ago

Since you agree, what do you think about editing that into your answer? — Noon 38 secs ago

"I know this isn't healthy behaviour. " - well, not using facebook/instagramm etc. has been shown to be healthy for your feeling of self-worth and respect. — Mafii 1 min ago

@EmC Doing something that's ethically wrong (participating in/hiding affairs), just because a lot of other people do it, isn't good advice. The answer is flawed because of it, it simply assumes it's better to just let things slide because others do it. — noClue 20 secs ago

Not sure why the downvote. This is a perfectly acceptable alternative. Especially for tools/processes that have some bit of complication. I've done both several times (asked to borrow / asked for help) — NKCampbell 1 min ago

I think lying (it’s for work only) is much ruder than the truth (sorry, I don’t like giving out my number). It’s normal not to give your number to strangers, nothing rude about it. You said “will it work” if you lie and they figure it out: it will work in the sense that they stop asking, but it will look rude and dishonest. The truth is less rude, and honest. — gnasher729 44 secs ago

I'm confused why you didn't bring up any details to jog his memory of you, that would have helped move the conversation at least. "Remember, we talked about [this artist] and agreed about [this opinion] and [this silly thing happened], that would have helped him respond to you with something like "Oh, yes I remember now" or "No sorry, not ringing any bells here" and not just "Oh you remember me but I don't remember you, nice to meet you person I don't remember etc" — arsarc 1 min ago

@pipe buy why "wouldn't [you] lend [your] power tools to others?" I think this is a really smart idea, but it just needs to elaborate on the thought process behind it. — scohe001 2 mins ago

I think, you have taken efforts for this project. But there is a lack of proper direction. Why not to ask proper direction/guidance to your teacher? or ask -- I am not getting proper direction, my efforts are directionless without proper guide. May I get your guidance? I mean, it is all about proper way of asking the guidance to your teacher. — DDD 2 mins ago

This isnt a frame challenge, it is just a cop-out. It is somewhere between cowardly and immature and shame on anyone who upvoted it. — Jamie Clinton 47 secs ago

downvoting to my answer also does not help you. Because this answer is helpful to OP. — DDD 8 secs ago