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12:12 AM
@ErikDarling sometimes it's wrong to be right.
 
@DavidAndroidDev Yep! Although someone might refer you to the main site if it's complicated enough 😀
 
 
1 hour later…
1:40 AM
@DavidAndroidDev And here you are, asking one without permission. Next time you should inquire if you could ask two questions.
 
 
2 hours later…
3:11 AM
@DavidAndroidDev dontasktoask.com
 
 
3 hours later…
6:16 AM
Morning.
My first 6 guess word.
Wordle 712 6/6*

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6:59 AM
The art is called: Father and son playing ball
 
 
2 hours later…
8:34 AM
Wordle 712 X/6*

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If you don't get it in 6, does it show you the solution?
 
Yes
 
 
4 hours later…
12:36 PM
🟨🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟨🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟨🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟨🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨
 
1:09 PM
Apr 20 at 13:34, by Josh Darnell
I find those two websites, and the constant sharing and praise of them, to be exhausting.
Now we have to reset the "days since those websites were linked" sign to zero.
Someone call OSHA.
 
at least there haven't been any xkcd links lately
🤭
 
@JoshDarnell I understand and feel you. I also feel that people saying "hello" and nothing else and expecting me to do the heavy lifting here to be arduous and overbearing.
when people ping me on teams with that, I just ignore them
At least Teams could add auto responders so that when people say "hello" or "hi" it auto responds with "Hello, thanks for contacting me. It seems you might have a question, please submit it"
 
@ErikDarling HOW DARE YOU
 
There's my "hackathon" project
I wonder if there's a way to hook message receipt and sending in Teams
 
@SeanGallardy I think that's a totally valid reaction.
I normally say "hey!" and then go back to whatever I was doing.
 
1:14 PM
i prefer "sup"
it's very easy to type
someone on india standard time scheduled a sales call with a gmail address
how much do you want to bet it's not a sales call
 
Wordle 712 5/6

🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜
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🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
they went all out today
 
There's a guy I work with who always does brief small talk in Teams before getting to what he wants to say. It's not my favorite thing in the world, but he seems to enjoy it.
 
@JoshDarnell I'm totally cool with that :) I do it to, depending
small talk != "hello"
"Hey, long time no talk, need to bug you on something but how've you been?"
 
if it's brief, then I do it to
 
hello is literally the most polite way to greet someone
 
1:19 PM
@SeanGallardy yeah, that's great actually
 
@SeanGallardy Oh I mean the small talk follows the hello exchange. "Hey" "Hi!" "How's your day going?" "Not too bad, you?" That kind of thing.
 
chatty protocol activated
I understand and admit I have a non-normal work environment
My mileage isn't everyone's
 
i don't have any work chats so my opinion probably doesn't count
 
@SeanGallardy Yeah, and I think that's the important thing to remember. And why those websites sort of bug me. It goes both ways. Some folks don't have the bandwidth to deal with that sort of thing, some folks have cognitive differences that make those little interruptions more disruptive than they are for others, some folks aren't bothered by it at all, etc.
 
@JoshDarnell totally and I understand
 
1:24 PM
Blanket statements about how sending "hello" is rude and burdensome are just...not correct.
 
@SeanGallardy yup, remember that @JoshDarnell is a newbie
 
👋 New Contributor
I need all the help I can get 😁
 
@JoshDarnell i have a weird question for you about my website
 
Who else is going to quote the Documentation to us
 
@ErikDarling Sure, what's up?
@SeanGallardy The Infallible Documentation.
 
1:26 PM
the other day it was pointed out to me that there's a grammatical error in my blog footer. when i went to use find/replace to fix it, it didn't show up as fixed until i did the find/replace on the stg posts table
it didn't take when i changed the normal bunch of weird text posts table
is that... wrong?
 
That's surprising to me, yeah. I thought STG indicated the staging table.
Or something.
 
me too
 
You did this through that find / replace plugin?
 
yeah
like whenever i did a blog series and then a link round up/wrap up posts, i'd query the bunch of weird txt posts table to find them all
 
Maybe it was caching.
 
1:32 PM
heh heh heh
i have a feeling it was SHENANIGANS
 
This is a very strange blog post: Parameter Sensitive Plan Optimization, Why?
 
Indeed
 
it's a real piece of crap
 
It seems like the whole point of it is to announce the "Known Issues" section of the PSPO documentation page. Which only has one thing in it right now. And then they typed the rest to hit a word count minimum.
 
what else can you expect from someone whose chosen professional handle has both "sql" and "sith" in it
 
1:56 PM
Derek's a good guy, I do like his profile picture which is lord dark helmet.
Mine is the OG Palpatine
Although, I'm thinking of changing it to Rick
 
i don't understand star wars fetishes
 
@JoshDarnell Same
 
@ErikDarling People leave me alone because my picture looks "scary" so it works
 
@SeanGallardy aw jeez
 
@JoshDarnell This guy gets it
 
2:01 PM
@ErikDarling Same
 
@SeanGallardy 😁 I finished the new season a couple weeks ago.
 
It was different, this latest season
Rick was a little more Rick, which I liked
 
i totally forgot there's a new season
 
Night family I wasn't super into at the beginning but I really enjoyed it by the end
 
> Replying to @thesqlsith: "Thanks. They should mention that in the CU4 notes"
Well, good on him then
 
2:09 PM
Wordle 712 X/6*

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
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My wife did an X/6 today too
> It's a trap!
 
So hard sometimes
 
wild times
 
regarding that module signing thing; turns out I have to duplicate the certificate in a user database, as well as msdb. And on top of that, I have to create the same certificate, login, and procs across the Distributed AG. Fun times.
I can see why others on the org have just given up and assigned sysadmin. Not that I'm doing that, but yah.
 
That Query Store and PSPO explanation is very good.
The 'workaround' isn't great though.
 
2:17 PM
@PaulWhite I decided to try today, got it in 5 but mostly because the first 3 guesses I used probe words like Cade does.
4th guess got me the starting, middle, and ending letters.
 
Wordle 712 4/6

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Analyzer said 4 after 3 probes, just picked most likely.
 
@HannahVernon What on earth are you up to? Why msdb? Not for the TRUSTWORTHY thing?
 
Apparently they need some of the procs in msdb because they call them from there. I am not sure why, and some director is pushing to get it done.
seems stupid to me, but what do I know
also, their definitions of the stored procs don't include schemas (i.e. CREATE PROC proc_name ...), so I'm creating them all in a separate schema and assigning the default schema to the user, hoping that they are not calling them via EXEC dbo.proc_name
knowing how things go, they are probably unaware of schemas.
which really makes me nervous about this product that Gartner calls "excellent".
 
this uh
i don't like any of this
 
you and me both
I'm expecting plenty of "ughhhh" sounds over the coming days.
 
2:29 PM
These people all need replacing with AI
 
I for one welcome our AI overlords.
The good news is that the procs can all be called from non-privileged users now, without any TRUSTWORTHY option being turned on (save in msdb, where it is on by default).
this is what they are doing to "enable" CDC:
EXEC sp_cdc_enable_db
go

EXEC sp_cdc_enable_table
    @source_schema = N'<schema>',
    @source_name = N'<table>',
    @capture_instance = N'<capture instance>',
    @role_name = null

go

EXEC sp_cdc_drop_job @job_type = N'capture'
go
I think this should go swimmingly
 
wat
 
the script they sent me to enable this thing does that above snippet over and over for almost every table in the db.
commas as the end of each line at least, hey!
bodes well
 
Have you ever considered a different career
 
sounds like a decent idea
> We recommend creating a separate filegroup for change data capture change tables.
^^^ from the Microsoft Docs.
and sounds like very good advice to me.
 
2:56 PM
ALTER DATABASE <database_name>
SET QUERY_STORE = OFF (FORCED)

ALTER DATABASE <database_name>
SET QUERY_STORE = ON (OPERATION_MODE = READ_WRITE);
The syntax for ALTER statements has always felt really confusing and inconsistent to me, but this parenthetical nonsense is worse than usual haha.
 
I dare someone to figure out the whys and wheretofores of T-SQL brackets.
all I can say about it is thankfully the docs are readily available
even if they do change the URL every six months
 
3:25 PM
I do very much appreciate the SQL Server documentation (compared to others) being thorough, even if not always complete or perfectly accurate...
yesterday, by mustaccio
Writing comprehension being what it is these days...
 
@JoshDarnell It really is.
Parser issues, I guess.
Though not all of it. There was a (hilarious) attempt to standardize on <setting> = ON/OFF rather than <setting> ON/OFF. Even that small thing couldn't be done consistently, so now we have two standards.
And deprecation doesn't work. For example, binding a session's transaction was deprecated a million years ago, and yet I discovered special checks for it in the brand new ledger feature.
 
Don't try to use ledger and database mirroring
MS's problem is it keeps things deprecated for decades
2
Nothing is really removed
 
Right
 
There's no impetus for people to update then
(their code, not SQL)
 
3:41 PM
It's understandable though, as a practical matter
If you remove a whole heap of stuff that people have built things to rely on, they won't upgrade, the release gets a bad name, and you won't sell as much of it
But then it's really hard to add anything new at all because the test matrix just explodes
 
Which I would definitely understand if it was N+1 it's gone. This is N+23 years and still alive.
 
People have never taken deprecation seriously
 
@PaulWhite and this comes back to the whole "WhY DiDnT yOu FiNd ThEsE iSsUeS?!"
 
I suppose people do make an effort to avoid obviously deprecated things in new developments. But it's a small piece of the overall pie.
 
I know people like to tout their automated testing, which is very nice and covers a ton of the common scenarios. However, someone, somewhere, is going to do something weird that no one thought of.
 
3:46 PM
The heated spacebar problem
 
jeagle me
 
and me
 
Well this is going to upset Erik.
 
@JoshDarnell He's not a huge fan
 
@PaulWhite Subtle!
One of my favorites.
 
3:49 PM
I dropped one about multiple standards a little while back, so I'm being less subtle now
 
I should have guessed 🤣
 
I'm so glad Sean went for the setup
 
spacebar heating lol
 
@PaulWhite You can always count on me, in 4's.
 
3:50 PM
Erik explodes
My favourite part of the Ledger documentation, I think, is where it explains what you can do if tampering is detected.
Mostly it comes down to restoring from a backup and throwing everything away after the problem was detected
🤣
 
rewriting history works for everyone else
imaging hitting a database size with ledger
 
its easier to just not use a ledger and say you did
 
It has a number of potentially useful side-features, but the actual thing itself, used as intended, idk.
Another stretch db or BDC in the making, perhaps
Notification Services
 
I feel like Notifications could be really useful
 
Nov 1, 2022 at 13:42, by Sean Gallardy
Remember when SOAP endpoints where a thing?
 
3:57 PM
mmmm so SOAPy
 
@SeanGallardy I hear disk is cheap
 
4:12 PM
@PaulWhite miss them...
 
@JoshDarnell STG indicates the Star Gate
 
so has a ledger table met dbcc writepage
 
4:33 PM
Anyone heard about this? techcommunity.microsoft.com/t5/azure-sql-blog/… Apparently we're going to get a JSONB type, and the JSON_OBJECTAGG and JSON_ARRAYAGG aggregates. Finally!
I hope they got it mixed up: the final code example has SELECT JSON_OBJECTAGG( which looks like it should have been SELECT JSON_ARRAYAGG(. Otherwise these two functions would do the same thing.
 
yesterday, by mustaccio
Writing comprehension being what it is these days...
 
@PaulWhite I hear that too, until it's time to get more disk. Also, Azure.
@PaulWhite But Paul, now you can say you have blockchain and use it. Clearly appeasing the investors and C-Suites.
 
Looks like old news
@SeanGallardy Yeah, I didn't say they were right
 
I had a CIO that used to say that all the time, then one day I said, hey I need 20TB of new storage for this project. He proceeded to tell me how expensive it was. I responded that he constantly said disk is cheap. I didn't work there much longer.
 
5:09 PM
lol
also, how many levels of nested dynamic SQL is too many. Asking for a friend.
 
One
 
I was hoping it would be like the holy hand grenade, and be 3. Not 4, and 5 is right out.
but also, I think this code has 5.
I say "think" because who can really tell after one or two layers
 
So. You have dynamic SQL that generates and executes dynamic SQL?
 
that generates and executes dynamic sql
yes
over a linked server no less
 
I see
 
5:12 PM
that is created in dynamic SQL
 
I'm usually wrong, but that doesn't sound right.
 
HAHAH
you're not wrong
 
Perfectly normal behaviour
 
Also, good luck.
@PaulWhite How about nested views? :)
 
I have zero faith that this will actually work. And if it does, I might just look for another job.
 
5:14 PM
@HannahVernon we're hiring. ;)
 
but that would mean I'd have to work in America.
 
Remotely. :)
 
not saying that every state is Florida, but nearly
 
We're in NY, I think it's pretty chill here.
 
I feel like America is a risk too far
Canadians, who can stand 'em, hey
 
5:17 PM
@ErikDarling yeah a week... not exactly a long time in SQL world
Still no JPath though
They'd better have a WITHIN GROUP (ORDER BY on those functions, or I may have to turn myself in to the nearest psychatric ward.
 
May 26 at 12:17, by Paul White
> Queries containing columns of the new JSON type will return the data as varchar(max) type.
Not sure how that impacts Unicode support
It’ll all be fine I’m sure
 
Huh?? Not even nvarchar(max)? Anyway I thought it was a whole new type to be honest, so not sure what that means.
 
Must be a typo, will be nvarchar(max) for clients
 
typo negative
 
I imagine it means JSON will be a sort of alias type with some language support inside the engine, but when it leaves SQL Server, it does so as nvarchar(max)
 
5:25 PM
Hmm one would have hoped they would have a new TDS data type for it, to send it more efficiently
JSONB is more efficient than JSON generally: no insignificant whitespace, property names are passed once at the beginning with int references, etc
 
yeah, i've used that in postgres a time or two
 
Florida is amazing, no better place.
 
if you're not gender diverse
 
Even if you are
 
I lived there for a year and loved it, so I concur
 
5:39 PM
There's not much investment in T-SQL. All seems to be going elsewhere. Odd bits.
 
@SeanGallardy it's completely legal for anyone in the state to refuse medical treatment to me. So, if I was in a car accident, I could be refused treatment on moral grounds.
 
@HannahVernon I'd love to see the law on that.
 
let me look it up
> “Protections of Medical Conscience Act,” a law that allows healthcare providers or payors to deny service on the basis of “a conscience-based objection,” including any ethical, moral, or religious beliefs. The bill provides no definition for what constitutes a “moral” or “ethical” belief.

The law seeks to protect health care providers and payers from the “threat of discrimination for providing conscience-based health care.” However, advocates worry it’ll be used to deny LGBTQ+ people gender-affirming care, HIV-prevention medication, and other essential and life-saving care.
> The law allows any medical provider — including doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers, pharmacists, mental health professionals, lab technicians, nursing home workers, and hospital administrators — as well as insurance companies and payment entities, the right to deny care on the basis of any conscientious objection.
also, if I want to fly to Tampa to visit my sister, I am barred from using the washroom associated with my gender at the Airport, instead I'd have to use the mens room. I don't want to get into politics here, but suffice to say I'm not going to Florida any time soon.
i.e. Florida Man Strikes Again
 
@PaulWhite One feature which no other DBMS has yet either, but I really think would be transformative, is Monotonic Functions explainextended.com/2010/02/19/…
Basically you can define how a function sorts its outputs depending on the values of the inputs. A simple example is ORDER BY x + 5 would be strictly monotonic against x, so would not require a second sort.
 
We've talked about monotonic before
 
5:53 PM
Oct 19, 2022 at 20:33, by Charlieface
Even function sargeability can be worked around. See this excellent series from Explain Extended on monotonic functions, which shows how functions could have added properties that define how they react to inputs, allowing the optimizer to reason over them.
But that was 7 months ago, I get a second go now
 
@HannahVernon I can appreciate your lack of desire to work in this country.
 
@HannahVernon This applies to anything, though, not specifically one person or type.
 
@SeanGallardy that's correct.
 
I'm not saying you have to come here, just that it isn't the bastion of hell that people make it out to be
 
but one doesn't need much imagination to understand who it is actually targeting.
 
5:59 PM
Considering many religious items have gone through the supreme court lately, it's honestly not that shocking as individuals religious rights are trampled.
 
@SeanGallardy no I know that the politics of Florida vs actual Floridians is quite different, but I don't wish to spend my hard earned money supporting any of DeSantis's policies
 
@HannahVernon 👍
 
I'm sure I'll be missed lol
 
I mean, yes and no, right?
 
I was being sarcastic mainly, but perhaps.
 
6:00 PM
Yeah you didn't say hi to me when I was in forsaken land in January (years ago) of all times of the year
 
oh shoooot that's right
good time to be in Winnipeg lol
was it cool enough?
 
Yeah, having to wear 3 layers of clothes inside the hotel room + extra comforter + still was cold.
when the wind blew I could feel it in the hallways
 
next time come in July when it's a little warmer
 
to be fair that was in the middle of a blizzard that week
 
this place sucks for that
 
6:02 PM
Also the customs agent misspelled Canada on my NAFTA form.
 
it's winter for 7 months a year
 
@HannahVernon and that's why I'm closer to the equator :D
 
Cries from 3.5 degrees further north than Winnipeg oh wait I'm in the UK so we actually have pretty decent weather
 
@Charlieface I was shocked when I came from Southampton to Winnipeg to find that we're basically the same latitude but winter is basically the only weather
 
That's the Gulf Stream for you
 
6:04 PM
yep
 
I've been seriously thinking about Costa Rica
Except they have super terrible internet
 
It's crazy: Newcastle is on the same latitude as Moscow and further north than Edmonton, but only gets down to -9C in really cold winters
 
for a day or two, no less
we literally have minus temps from October to March, where it is very rarely ever above 0°C
 
@J.D. if you're hiring. Could you post it to the SQL Server slack dbatools.io/slack - #Jobs channel? There are plenty of capable people there and some of them are looking for job
 
@HannahVernon I want to say they had an advisory out because it was -40C
 
6:08 PM
yah, that's not that uncommon.
 
that's inhumane
 
good thing about -40 is it doesn't matter if you're talking celcius or fahrenheit
same same
 
true story
 
absolutely fucking cold
 
😂😂😂😂😂
 
6:09 PM
@HannahVernon FITFY. good thing about -40 is it doesn't matter if you're talking celcius or fahrenheit you're going to freeze to death either way.
 
@Zikato oOo, thanks! I didn't know about this. Will do!
 
@Charlieface exact
the good thing though is its a dry cold
lol
oooooh Dark Theme has landed in Jira
 
7:02 PM
but did they change the vote buttons?
 
7:35 PM
LOLOL too soon?
 
@Zikato I think I need an invitation to join that Slack / channel btw.
 
Try this one. It's generated by me
https://join.slack.com/t/sqlcommunity/shared_invite/zt-1wfid7ut0-HSpZzYuO5Oe2RmWaG3c_Iw
 
@Zikato HAHAH
no
in other news its Thirsty Thursday (Thirsty Friday if you across the dateline, I suppose), and I'm thirsty.
 
@Zikato I think that worked. Cheers!
 
now you're beholden to spreading misinformation to Slack
 
7:48 PM
Like I'm gonna notice one more
 
lol
@HannahVernon eh I'll save my best wrongs for you guys.
 
the apostrophe police almost got me there
@J.D. awesome
> This code was generated by a tool.
that never gets old
 
@HannahVernon That's how I sign all of my comments. :D
 
@SeanGallardy there should be a trace flag to disable everything deprecated; kinda like 4199 except perhaps 666
@J.D. me tooo
 
Unrelated, I love how Teams arbitrarily copies the previous message and a half whenever I highlight a word to copy / paste.
 
8:02 PM
sounds like you're enjoying using Carbon Black or some other fabulously craptastic "security" software.
whenever I paste something into Firefox, it is almost always doubled up. And sometimes it causes the entire laptop to just die an awful death.
 
@HannahVernon Yah, Windows 11.
 
Teams is easily the most pile of rubble software I've ever used.
2
 
I haven't cared enough to figure out if the blame is really Teams or Windows 11 yet, because I get other non-Teams odd copy-pasta issues too.
 
have you considered keeping the pasta away from your computer?
 
Solid advice.
 
8:12 PM
@HannahVernon oh I'd love 666
 
it would be fun
 
@J.D. Teams, getting things wrong that AIM/Trillium/ICQ all got right in 1995
 
I imagine just that statement terminators would be required would be enough to make nothing work anymore.
 
@SeanGallardy lol yep.
Even Yahoo! Messenger for anyone who remembers.
 
do you ever get the Teams Black and Purple infinite scroll of death?
 
8:14 PM
Nah but I'm interested now.
 
you switch chats and it just does this weird moving fake scrolling of black and purple blurred outline messages, infinitely
forever
I generally have to restart teams to get the channel/chat to load
 
@J.D. Yahoo! Messenger was da' Business.
 
BUT! don't worry, they added games to Teams
rather than basic functionality
so there's that
 
phew I was waiting so long to play a game in Microsoft chat.
 
exactly
 
8:18 PM
someone needs to take the MVP decision team for Teams out and put them down.
I mean, downsize them.
maybe they just don't realize that the V in MVP means viable.
 
8:30 PM
🤣
 
@HannahVernon fo' sho'. Video chats, and audio chatrooms were fun times back in 2002.
 
and they just worked 😲
 
At one point I used a tool called Trilio which just consolidated your buddy list from each service, AIM, Yahoo! Messenger, MSN Messenger, etc. Idr how I got sucked into each platform, but I had some Canadian mates using MSN back then too lol.
 
I Blame Canada™
2
 
 
1 hour later…
10:42 PM
Imagine your post your first Stack question and the only answer is someone having a mental breakdown
 
11:14 PM
Thankfully it's not super common on our stack.
 

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