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12:51 AM
bwahahhaha
When LFS isn't enough, CREATE YOUR OWN
 
 
2 hours later…
2:27 AM
How long until that fails? I predict 4 years.
Now Microsoft is developing Angular and React by way of TypeScript, and pushing their own ASP.NET framework that compiles into Web assembly, Blazor.
Blazaro
No debugging support. I bet that's a JOY to work with.
 
 
4 hours later…
6:16 AM
@JackDouglas On a side note: we got rid of that horrible ora-600 by migrating to 12c. No further errors so far. On 11g the errors started occuring at weekly intervals.
Morning 🚊
 
6:43 AM
Morning
 
7:02 AM
Oh me hearties. I missed out on all the fun.
While I did have issues with @EvanCarroll 's attitude in the beginning I have come to like him and the way he communicates.
You have to give him cudos for being the Lone "PostgreSQL" Ranger in a Heap full of SQL Server Experts.
We should create a room "Have a bash" where people can flog each other's (R)DBMS.
just saying
@TomV +1 though
 
7:56 AM
morning
 
@hot2use there are a few other heap residents that use Postgres. They just don't whine about it ;)
 
@hot2use SQL Server people may well be the majority here but e.g. @dezso isn't your typical SQL Server expert if you look into his Top Tags. And @JackDouglas, even though he needed to learn some SQL Server for his dbfiddle project, is more of a Postgres and Oracle guy if I remember correctly.
I don't remember either of them behaving like Evan
From the beginning his bragging didn't come across for me as mere banter and joking. Although lately I started trying to look at it this way, I'm still not convinced it's all there is to it
More specifically, the one important thing that is hard to shake off as coming from his boasting is disrespect, pure and simple. I'm fine with absence of respect, it's something that needs to be deserved. But I don't think I've done anything to deserve the opposite of respect either.
 
morning and evening
 
8:16 AM
@AndriyM no, I'm not, haha
 
8:41 AM
I was generalising and referring to the amount of comments in the Heap in proportion to the respective representatives of (R)DBMS.
Come to think of it: Yes, the comments from other (R)DBMS representatives have subsided somewhat since other representatives have taken over. Hmmmmmm
I'm a SQL Server, Oracle, PostgreSQL, MySQL guy myself. (In that order)
 
@hot2use I also appreciate it in a way. When I am in patient mode, it reminds me my younger son :D
 
@dezso I hope my son doesn't have that phase in life. But i guess that's going to happen anyway...
@AndriyM True, but Nature provided for that: Each person is an individual
 
8:59 AM
@hot2use Fair point. I would also like to add that Evan's done a great job providing answers to a lot of PostgreSQL questions, and I don't want this to sound patronising, I actually respect that, even if grudgingly. But it is grudgingly, because if I hadn't come to like PostgreSQL before I met Evan online, it's quite likely I would by now have hated it.
 
@hot2use yes, we are all individuals!
 
Yes, we don't know if NULL is NULL
 
 
1 hour later…
10:21 AM
@hot2use At least that's something that all DBMS agree on!
 
gbn
@hot2use modern-sql.com/feature/is-distinct-from NULL IS NOT DISTINCT FROM NULL though
2
Paul refers to this implementation internally in SQL sqlblog.com/blogs/paul_white/archive/2011/06/22/… and (old link) connect articke connect.microsoft.com/SQLServer/feedback/details/286422/…
 
@gbn which is quite a long and cumbersome construction,
when we can use the simpler NULL IS NULL
 
gbn
@ypercubeᵀᴹ that's one way though, and hardcoded on the right
 
@gbn Yes.
If we try to use cola IS colb, it fails.
 
gbn
@SomeVarianble IS NOT DISTINCT FROM @AnotherVarianble
 
10:29 AM
cola IS NOT DISTINCT FROM colb works
x IS SOMETHING works only when SOMETHING is NULL. (and for TRUE, FALSE in Postgres).
 
Adding support for booleans in T-SQL is another thing that would be nice
 
gbn
@AndriyM I think I'd take more elegent NULL handlng over boolean
 
I probably would too. I can live with the "pseudo-boolean" bit.
 
 
1 hour later…
12:01 PM
Large amount of data = 25K rows ...
Where is TomTom when you need him?
 
I just downloaded the full Stack Overflow database dump by torrent.
Took twice as long to decompress it as download it.
 
@sp_BlitzErik No, but there's parts of Soho where you can get that done.
 
12:51 PM
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells if only i had known when i was there
 
1:30 PM
this is an advertisement:
> MongoDB Atlas: the database as a service for MongoDB.
A cloud-hosted MongoDB service engineered and run by the same team that builds the database.
 
1:45 PM
@dezso looks more like a reason for complaints :D
 
til: if you create this table dbo.[t1!@#$%^&*()-_=+[]]{}\|;:'",.<>/?] and cause a deadlock on it, reading the deadlock xml will fail miserably
 
That must come up all the time
 
got an email about it this morning!
"i have this table and i can't run blitzlock"
 
I don't doubt it
The thing is, people have quite naturally exhausted the space of sensible table names
 
use a guid, ffs
 
1:55 PM
The sort of people we're talking about wouldn't trust a guid to be unique
 
clearly we need a double guid
 
I'll write up a spec
 
DISTINCTNEWID()
 
Just make 'em all null
 
DISTINCT_NEWID_IN_ALL_QUANTUM_UNIVERSES()
 
1:57 PM
catchy!
 
Usually run WITH (MULTIVERSELOCK)
 
That's gonna block
3
 
DECLARE @guid SPACE(MAX)
 
Best question today:
0
Q: How to get back colourful query toolbar in SSMS 17

Agus RiyadiSince SQL Server Management Studio (SSMS) 17, I notice that the query toolbar is black, boring color. I really miss the previous SSMS for SQL Server 2008 R2. This illustrate how it is now, most buttons are just black, hard to tell instantly which one is for what : And this is what I miss in 20...

 
It was closed on SO
0
Q: How to get back colorful query toolbar on SSMS 17

Agus RiyadiSince SQL Server Management Studio (SSMS) 17, I notice that the query toolbar is black, boring color. I really miss the previous SSMS for SQL Server 2008 R2. This illustrate how it is now, most buttons are just black, hard to tell instantly which one is for what : And this is what I miss in 20...

Is SE lagging for everyone or just for me?
 
2:12 PM
Well it is running on my phone
(fine for me)
 
I didn't know they migrated it to your phone
 
paul's phone is the newest node in the AG
 
Most of the cloud runs on my phone, as a background app
 
you can tell he's playing candy crush because the internet gets slow
 
Downloading the SO torrent in 15 minutes did push the bandwidth a bit
 
2:16 PM
check out this guy with his drive space
 
20 GB of SO comments
this is some sort of practical joke
 
nope
 
you should run for mod over there
 
@Taryn btw it's Thursday
 
@PaulWhite :/
 
2:19 PM
made you check
You know you’re exhausted when you don’t even realize it’s Friday.
 
it's been a long few months. Actually a long last year.
 
@Taryn I can actually relate a little bit. I spent a good deal of yesterday installing SQL Server 2008 R2 - 2017 inclusive and patching them up to current.
Not quite the same scale I know.
 
At least all of our servers are now at the same level. Finished the last one yesterday.
 
the ice melted in his lemonade during the 2012 install
 
@sp_BlitzErik I feel like this SO data should be on an external thumb drive. It's not worthy of SSD.
 
2:22 PM
he had to get more from the freezer
@PaulWhite you'll feel differently when you go to create that first index
 
@sp_BlitzErik It doesn't deserve an index.
@Taryn Did you know Azure SQL DB is kept up to date by 100,000 interns?
 
@PaulWhite not at all surprised by that
 
unpaid interns
 
with tiny hands
 
lil bebe hands
3
 
2:40 PM
@sp_BlitzErik thanks for that minion checkdb heads up. Saved me a ton of work and will surely work for us.
 
oh, that you're allowed to download
 
For now.
....
 
gbn
@PaulWhite I have seen software and outsourcers that are effectively "CIAAS" shops
Cheap-indians-as-a-service
 
3:01 PM
That's terrible
 
3:13 PM
@gbn I've worked with one or two.
And occasionally got away with making the 'Too many chiefs not enough indians' gag in meetings.
 
gbn
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells A man of a certain generation. We're still allowed to get away with such non PC stuff
 
@gbn That's essentially what Mechanical Turk does, but includes a workflow system for scheduling the jobs.
@gbn My cow-orker (who is of Indian descent) claims to have gotten away with it even more.
 
gbn
he he. The PC brigade can't say anything
 
@gbn I think folks tolerate me because I'm capable of getting work done. That's a precious commodity in London.
Because (see above)
 
 
1 hour later…
4:24 PM
If someone could sanity-check this, I'd be appreciative!
 
4:46 PM
@MaxVernon Works for me. I did everything as you describe, got the 100, which, as can be clearly seen, is not an aggregation of the query but an aggregation made by the server, so it clearly recognises it as the same query (as it was just one plan handle for it). Very illustrative.
 
@AndriyM thanks!
 
@MaxVernon sp_BlitzFirst will give you perfmon counters too :P
hot friday jamz
 
it was never super clear to me before that sp_executesql is actually compiled each time, although it clearly makes sense!
@sp_BlitzErik what is that, some kind of Trojan Horse, or something?
;-)
 
i don't get condom jokes
sorry
 
lol
 
5:29 PM
He simply wants to update with SELECT * FROM ( SELECT id, row_number() OVER (ORDER BY id) FROM dummy ) AS t1(id, rn) JOIN ( SELECT seq, row_number() OVER (ORDER BY seq) FROM dummy ) AS t2(seq, rn) USING (rn);Evan Carroll 3 mins ago
 
6:01 PM
@EvanCarroll I voted to reopen so you can add that as an answer hopefully
 
@EvanCarroll you need one more
 
@MaxVernon I'm missing context here, but sp_executesql can use cached plans
 
yes, just not the actual call to sp_executesql itself. the command ran by sp_executesql can be cached.
as far as I can tell
 
ah, that's what you meant
 
@TomV only if it worked in Oracle ;)
 
6:09 PM
0
A: Reorder data in one column based on data in another column

Evan CarrollI'm no pro on Oracle, but yo need something like this. SELECT * FROM ( SELECT id, row_number() OVER (ORDER BY id) FROM dummy ) AS t1(id, rn) JOIN ( SELECT seq, row_number() OVER (ORDER BY seq) FROM dummy ) AS t2(seq, rn) USING (rn); We look at the two columns id and seq For id we sort by...

 
Not downvoting, just because the question has shitty requirements.
The answer wouldn't work in Oracle as it, although it captures what they want.
I challenge you to try and make it work in Oracle.
 
hahahhaha
noap!
 
You might get the SELECT but for the actual UPDATE it would be much harder.
 
Sorry, I only take assembly challenges now. I can't octopus out further.
Yea, a quick search showed it didn't have FROM in Oracle UPDATE.
It brings a tear to my eyes to say this. Really it kills me. But dem enterprises choose the wrong DB.
Actually I think you could write this pretty easily.
 
famous last words
 
6:17 PM
UPDATE dummy d2 SET d2.seq = ( SELECT d1.seq FROM the_query_i_pasted AS d1 WHERE d2.id = d1.id ) WHERE d2.id IN ( SELECT d1.id FROM the_query_i_pasted AS d1 );
I imagine your mental-query-planner is sufficient to judge that appropriately... How'd I do?
 
As I said, the idea is ok, the actual implementation in Oracle will probably fail miserably ;)
 
The condition is unnecessary, because it's all the same table, naturally d2.id will be in there
 
Sure, agreed for this case.
 
MERGE is pretty flexible in Oracle
 
Other than that is should work. Mine worked in dbfiddle, but I wrote it before the question was this clear, and I don't like the question anyway, so I didn't post it.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ I trusted evan
 
@AndriyM Nice. You should post that as an answer.
Evan's seems the same, perhaps with just an extra wrap.
 
No hair off my back anyway =) go for it Forest. It just seemed pretty clear to me what he wanted and I wasn't getting the continued dialog or the close
I wonder if it's just the seq name.
 
What you've posted above, Evan, is exactly the same. You only need to add that to your post
And I still don't like the question, so I'm not posting mine. If my dbfiddle or any part of it can be of service to anyone, please be my guests
 
cringe food reviews are awesome loool
I'm going to review different brands of canned Sardines
 
7:02 PM
you should review brownie sundaes like the adult mush you are
 
now I want a brownie sundae, thanks a lot @sp_BlitzErik
 
You can insult PostgreSQL all you want, you're just wrong. But if you fuck with brownie Sunday's I will march my armies and lay waste to everything you hold dear.
 
7:23 PM
> Sunday's
 
7:37 PM
SET APOSTROPHE_ABUSE OFF
There, I fixed the channel
 
Sundaes
 
all the sundaes, please
 
No risk of invasion today then, as it's only Fridae
2
 
8:05 PM
@AndriyM or Saturdae in NZ land
 
8:15 PM
stackoverflow.com/election I will be boycotting the vote this year, because it's a total sham.
Shog9 should just pick who he wants and do away with the grandiose display.
 
0
Q: PostgreSQL RULE tag?

raphaelWhile doing some research for a question, I realized that RULE is a PostgreSQL extension and not part of the SQL standard. However there doesn't appear to be a tag for RULES on this site, there are a number on Stack Overflow but rules for example, has the following description: This tag is v...

 
8:38 PM
@EvanCarroll I'm not aware of any chicanery but I agree, this crop of candidates is uninspiring.
 
They delisted my nomination
they changed the rules to fuck me. it was pretty obvious.
 
That's....unfortunate.
No collusion
SAD
LOW ENERGY
 
Definitely bad guys. Mean nasty people.
"Election" FAKE NEWS.
 
Very bad hombres.
We're gonna build a wall and make meta pay for it.
Now that's out of the way
Anyone here familiar with Redshift?
 
9:05 PM
sounds like some sci-fi thing
 
9:28 PM
Baum gets my vote because of the nickname
 
@MikeTheLiar that's a fork from Postgres. So some things work just like Postgres, some other not so much.
Is there a particular problem you have?
 
@EvanCarroll I swear I would've voted for you if you were allowed to run
3
 
@TomV I actually, half believe that. =) Thanks man. Glad to know I can count on you when the next DBA.SE spot opens up.
If I get elected, you get ALL of Sean's secrets.
 
@EvanCarroll I wouldn't vote for you on dba.stackexchange.com but the so candidates aren't inspiring and it would give you something to do
 
What candidate on DBA.SE is more inspiring than me?!?!?!
"Inspiring" is my middle name.
 
9:39 PM
@TomV like my addition of terminators?
 
Max was a candidate last time. I don't think Shawn Melton will ru' again if there is ever a new election but I trust max more than you
I'd be happy to give you something to do on another sub though
 
Max and me are besties. It'll be good, I'll keep him around if I get elected.
No gulag for Max.
He can be my National Security Advisor
 
Drain the swamp
 
10:07 PM
i'll run for mod on the "not evan" platform
 

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