Cats are dumb. Here's why: they will sit there, motionless, for hours on end. They are like miniature Egyptian mummies.
They have no idea you're even talking to them sometimes.
Cats want us to be their slaves and fetch things for them all the time (and we do it). Cats are just so demanding.
They will never say thank you. Just look at them. They have the audacity to just assume we're doing things for them out of the goodness of our hearts. What a bunch of jerks!
If your cat is still alive, it's because he or she has been lucky so far.