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@AlexanderGruber Can I speak with you five minutes privately. It's not anything involved but seeking advice. And you can delete the room immediately after my query, and it is nothing controversial.

^^^@AlexanderGruber and it has nothing to do with mods, but only seeking your advice on how to handle a non controversial certain situation.

^^^^ And it has nothing to do with me!!!

← 3 messages moved from Cafe and Tavern on the math.se

@Alexander, I guess you entered a chat room via a mobile phone oops! ^^^ Will never ask anything of you again. Just seeking help or advice about how to move beyond a user's hopelessness, in the Cafe. @hyper-neutrino Your "here", or were here. I'm just needing help to end a prolonged discussion in the Cafe and Tavern in math.se, with a user who keeps, "but .......," (comment from users trying to be helpful,) "but...............," ...................................

@amWhy Hey, I am here. Is there something you need help with?

Hi! Thank you so much!! The user B R, seems to be struggling enormously, and as much as I and leslie have tried to support them, I don't know how to end the conversation on a positive note. That chat is not intended to be a counseling service, but I'm the kind of person who will always lend a hand, if I can. I don't want them to think I've abandoned them, but I'd like to end the discussion on a positive note.

In the Cafe and Tavern, this has unfolded.

I would merely welcome any suggestions, as I sought from @Alexander, of options.

I am likely over my head. If I have to, I'll say no more. And let a user feel even more hopeless, @hyper-neutrino

@amWhy Alright, I'll take a look. It's just important to remember - they are just a stranger on the internet to you. It's wonderful that you're trying to help them, but at the end of the day, there really isn't all that much you can do. Even us mods are not equipped to try to help support people like that, and we're specifically supposed to hand it off if it gets serious.

@hyper-neutrino Very true. I realized this was getting far to serious than mere kind encouragement could offer. I need to come up with some non-dismissive ways to move on from serious issues the site is not equipped to deal with.

I.e. "How to "hand it off" without worsening the situation for the user, @hyper-neutrino

@amWhy well, I slightly misinterpreted what the problem was, sorry

specifically if a user seems suicidal to us we are supposed to escalate it to the team instead of trying to handle it, but that seems a bit exaggerated compared to what's actually happening here

@hyper-neutrino No problem.

I didn't have a chance to read the message history before I responded to you the first time

@hyper-neutrino No problem. I know darn well what to do if I detect suicidal ideation.

@hyper-neutrino And I could have been more descriptive, but I tend already to be wordy, so I really very much appreciate your looking it over.

Your response, @hyper-neutrino, is awesome. Sincerely. (please run for math.se moderator next election! ;))

@amWhy oh, yeah, no worries, I just assumed the worst at first. I think you handled it as well as you could've but I am not sure there really is much more either you or I could do to help that user. They might just need to get some stuff off their chest but I think a bit of encouragement and some tips should be helpful for them at least to support them until the whole pandemic thing is over

@amWhy haha, thanks :) yeah, still working towards getting the necessary rep and badges for it, lol!

@hyper-neutrino Thanks again!

@hyper-neutrino My message to Alexander Gruber, who had entered the chatroom a minute earlier, was intentionally vague, given the user was present in the room. And I really try to protect privacy. So, again, I appreciate the time you took to look over the chat posts.

(@hyper-neutrino How did you manage to write all you did in "one" comment? I'm guessing site moderators are not restricted in length of comments as regular users are.)

@amWhy If you make it a multiline message (shift+enter inserts a newline instead of sending), you can make it as long as you want

(well, there's probably still a limit, but it's much larger than 500)

and no, unfortunately, moderators do not bypass the length limit, or even message send/edit rate-limit

@hyper-neutrino Thanks for the tip!!

np!

@hyper-neutrino Now I really do need to eat! See you!

@amWhy alright, enjoy your dinner; see you!