Discussion on question by user-2147481856: How to deal with sexual harassment by a senior colleague without jeopardizing my tenure case?

@Thomas must the victims of harassment wait until something "really bad" happens? Should I wait until he tries to kiss me or rape me? Is there another kind of "smoking gun" behavior that can lead to a reasonable working relationship afterwards? I think people would want to diffuse the situation before they see the "smoking gun," because generally once such a thing happens, you can't really hope for any kind of reasonable interaction with them afterwards. I, for one, would like to fix the situation before all hell breaks loose, as I could be working with this person for the next 30 years.

@Thomas Of course I understand that you're asking in good faith, and I'm not picking a fight! This is actually in line with all of my male friends' advice (and some of the answers in the other post). I do feel a bit defensive about the questions in this direction, as it feels like people are suggesting that I'm overreacting (I'm not; I have never felt this kind of creepy vibe in my entire life, actually). Maybe I'd appreciate it if you wrote out an answer with a guideline for when to escalate, and how to escalate (Do I talk to the ombudsman first? Department chair? My lawyer?)

@Thomas and yes, in that case that you clarified, I do have several emails that I've shared with my friends, and everyone agreed that they were definitely inappropriate.

@user3209815 I actually think that a lot of women would stumble across this post (as so many of the women that I know had similar experiences, and almost all of my female friends that I talked to could relate). So I would actually ask you (and the others reading this) not to vote to close this question, but rather to suggest ways to edit the phrasing of the question so that it can help the most number of women possible. Normally I can understand it when people vote to close certain questions, but this one I feel quite strongly that it will help the community.

@user3209815 There's a big difference between (1) "what PhD topic should I chose?" or "can I get a travel allowance as teaching assistant", which we usually close as depending on tastes and individual circumstances, and (2) asking about anti-harassment strategies that don't jeopardize tenure.

@user3209815 Actually, harassment is pretty well defined, and especially (but not exclusively) applies when somebody in the position of power makes you repeatedly uncomfortable, moreover in relation to one of protected characteristics (ie sex/gender), and even more so if that person has expressed the wish for the behaviour to stop. And it happens to be something my University is obliged to educate me about. Calling it "just an awkward social interaction" is, at best, a bad excuse, especially if includes behaviour expressly against your colleague's wishes.