Discussion on question by ohno: A coworker says I’m being rude—only to him. How should I handle this?

Has he given examples of what he perceives as rude behaviour?

[..] I'm struggling to not see this as being problematic on your end (i.e. what it is you do in your team), unless John was actively avoiding making it obvious that he replaced you. More likely, I'm wondering if you never truly took on the full role of leadership, instead continuing to work like you did in your previous position and only rarely making executive calls; which would explain why it took so long for you to notice any collision, while at the same time John had been focusing on other parts of the role that you hadn't been doing (and thus did not notice any conflict).

@Asherah, i asked him and he couldnt recall a specific episode. Told me that i dont smile enough .. which is just absurd to hear.

@nvoigt There are many companies (in the EU, with tons of labour law on top) where a "team lead" position is purely informal, everyone's contracts say just "Senior Engineer" or so, so it ẃouldn't be illegal to tell OP "you're not the lead any more, John is" without adjusting any contracts.