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12:28 AM
stretches out on couch
 
@KitFox Odd, why you don't see my comments recently?
Umm, well then ...
 
Hullo.
@Gigili What comments?
 
12:49 AM
@KitFox Those comments in ELU.
Oh I see, you saw them it seems!
 
I did? You mean about the story?
For anyone who has read the whole story (@Gigili, @MattЭллен, @Cerberus, @MrShiny), you should be left with some fairly significant questions. I am curious to hear what those are, to see if I am anywhere near on target.
 
 
12 hours later…
1:26 PM
@KitFox Umm, no questions right now but I have a suggestion.
 
OK.
 
I am still happy that Mark is dead. But Macy could have killed him with one bullet.
@KitFox OK means please tell me?
Yuck.
 
Oh sorry. Please tell me @Gigili.
 
Too late.
 
Why would Macy have killed Mark with a bullet?
 
1:30 PM
Umm, because it'd be more interesting.
 
Huh. I don't see how though. Macy has no motive for killing Mark.
 
Umm.
I'm perfectly aware of the fact.
But I have only 9 hours to finish thins thingy.
 
confused I see.
 
My immediate questions are: Why didn't Mark talk about Ada's previous employment, and did Macy ever meet with Danny?
Why does Macy have so many cups?
 
Hahaha. That's funny. I forgot about the meeting with Danny. muses
I was going to use that later, then I changed my mind.
 
1:40 PM
How long has Jin been Macy's muse?
@KitFox I see :D
 
And did Jin talk to anyone about what happened between them since she threatened Macy that she'd do it?
 
oh yeah, that too
 
> Why didn't Mark talk about Ada's previous employment
This is the big one.
But also, if Mark raped Ada, shouldn't he recognize her?
And if he did, then why would her hire her to work for him?
 
Yes, I did think that, but I guessed he was covering up
 
That's good, because that's what you are supposed to think.
Also, how about why does Ada need six magnetic tapes?
Who the hell is Craig?
 
1:45 PM
oh. I assumed it was for backups
 
It is for backups, but she just started there. She's a coder. Why would she be backing up servers?
 
many programmers ask themselves the same thing :D
 
Hahaha
So would you like to know how I plan to torture this poor story? I need some help deciding a few plot points.
 
yes! go on!
 
OK, let's review Macy's part.
Um, in a minute though. I'm going to get more coffee.
 
1:49 PM
OK!
 
Or you can start with what you remember while I brew.
(I forgot my pod)
 
Macy scratched a car. Macy smokes and drinks coffee and whisky. She doesn't like that Mark got bored of her once she was employed. She doesn't want to talk to Danny. Macy likes having sex with women. Macy likes drawing women
she made an ashtray that she turned into a cup
She likes to hide from the people she works with. she trusted Ada quite quickly. She's in some sort of relationship with Jin
She's a vegetarian
She lives somewhere
 
Hahaha. It's so funny to read when you put it that way.
 
OK, so Macy is impulsive, artistic, a bit of an egoist.
She leans to the hardcore side, but not strongly.
She likes to keep her private life private because she doesn't like most people.
Ada intrigues her and Macy decides that she wants a piece of that.
But Macy is a philanderer and easily sheds Ada to cover her ass.
I think Macy is interesting, but not particularly likeable.
She is difficult.
 
2:07 PM
I find her facinating
 
OK so up to this point we have seen events from Macy's point of view.
A scratched car, a strange new employee who befriends her, stolen office supplies, a romantic interlude, a stunning secret revealed, an accidental death.
In the next part, I plan to write Mark's story. I haven't decided where to start, but I have thought about his character.
He is a substance abuser, he has been looting his own company, and he is being threatened by dealers. He is starting to get into unpayable debt.
Most of the time, he has no idea what to do.
 
Wow, I love these kinds of stories. I recently saw a movie which was three parts, each part from an important character's point of view but the same events, it was extremely interesting.
 
Ada shows up on his doorstep. She makes vague claims and he believes she knows something significant that could destroy him, so although he can't afford it, he hires her as a programmer.
Here is the part I am not sure about. In my head, Ada was lying about what happened to her.
 
but something happened, because of the scars
 
But the reader doesn't know this yet.
So I have to do this tricky thing.
 
2:14 PM
Umm, I don't want to know so I'll leave!
 
I have to figure out why Ada wants to kill Mark, and what Mark thinks that Ada knows, and it has to be consistent with the story that Ada told Macy.
So I have this idea that Ada makes claims about "what happened at the park" and Mark thinks she means she witnessed him buying drugs (or something like that).
 
Well, Ada could really have been raped
 
Well, I considered that, but the Ada in my head told me that she'd already killed that guy a long time ago.
 
I see
nice :D
 
So originally, it was going to be that Ada is really crazy (she still is) and she had an elaborate plan to kill Mark because he cut her off in traffic.
But now that doesn't work.
Of course, if I drop Mark's story, I could still do that.
Anyway, I'm thinking it still ought to be something trivial.
 
2:22 PM
So Mark is definitely the guy in the car that Macy scratched?
 
Probably.
He was certainly driving the truck when it got hit by the semi.
 
I haven't decided for sure that he was the one driving when Macy scratched it.
The problem is, I'm not sure if he recognizes Ada or not. I could go either way.
I also had an idea of how I could take Ada's story in a crazy, wild direction.
 
sounds good!
 
Gah!
Why does Ada want to kill Mark?
 
2:28 PM
because she is crazy
because she thinks all men raped her?
because Mark conspired with her original attacker
Because Mark sold drugs to her mother who ODed, who was the only thing between Ada and an abusive father
 
Hmm.
All of those are non-trivial though.
 
ohright
sorry! I forgot
she used to work in a hamber joint and mark called her a stupid bitch once
 
That could be...but not a hamburger joint. A park vendor.
Who sells stuff in the park?
Besides dealers?
Ice cream? Hot dogs?
Newspapers?
 
people who perform things
buskers
 
Oh! She could play accordian!
 
2:32 PM
:D
 
That would be funny.
 
indeed
 
I don't know how absurd to make this story though.
That's a good idea though. Maybe Ada provided some regular park service and Mark was rude to her.
He would have seen her before but not recognized her because service people are beneath him.
That fits. Macy's scars could come from actually being raped, but she was really warped by it and decided that she would kill people who pissed her off.
She's a serial killer.
 
oooo
is Macy in danger?
 
Well, Ada was setting Macy up the whole time.
 
2:37 PM
Oh!
 
But we don't know what happens after Macy's story. That's about as far as it goes.
Marks' story will end when he dies, and Ada's story will end just after Macy confesses what she did.
 
confesses to the police?
 
No, to Ada.
Same place it ends in Macy's story.
That's my plan anyway.
 
gotcha
 
I had also considered making Ada an assassin.
But drug dealers wouldn't go to that extent.
So then I'd have to come up with something more intriguing.
And still maintain the surprise that Mark's not really a rapist.
Hmm. The other thought I had was that Ada is a Harpy.
 
2:42 PM
A bird women?
 
In the sense that she is supernatural and sent to harry Mark to commit suicide.
 
...or maybe that's not very compelling.
;-)
 
how did I forget half the letters of hamburger back there? That's terrible
 
I read what you meant.
 
2:47 PM
lucky for me :D
 
Hi @Neil.
 
ugh... trying to write a best man speech
 
@DForck42 Compliment the bride. Compliment the groom. Compliment the ceremony. Make joke 1 about Groom. Make joke 2 about groom. Say how lucky he is to have found Bride. Say how happy you are that they are paired for life. Toast. Sit
await applause
I'm sure there is a reason I've not been a best man...
 
Pretty good formula there, @Matt.
 
@MattЭллен lmao
 
3:02 PM
I have a meeting! toodles :D
 
3:32 PM
Oh hi @MetaEd. Sorry, I spaced out there for a bit.
 
howdy again
 
The password is meowkitty.
bbl lunch
 
hello
 
got it.
 
3:47 PM
And again, unless you want spoilers, don't scroll up.
Hi @DForck42.
You here for Chat?
 
I'll check it out on my break.
 
OK.
 
@KitFox workign on writing a best man speech
so sure
 
Great. Want us to help you?
Wow. Look at this crowd.
passes around refreshments
Who wants to go first today? @MrShiny?
@Gigili Do you need help with your crazy translation job?
 
@KitFox It's English to Persian but you're my love.
 
3:55 PM
@KitFox i'ma post what i got here in a minute
 
OK.
 
I don't have much to say really. I started writing some stuff down then got stuck in a rut and it fell apart.
 
Well, lemme think. How did you get stuck? Did you run out of writing time? Get bored of your story? Couldn't figure out what to write next?
 
yes
all of those
 
Hahaha. Well, that's an easy fix then.
 
4:00 PM
I should probably write an outline
 
You're totally hosed.
giggles
 
but OTOH I've been procrastinating writing an outline for so long that I figured I'd just write something and see if it turns out to be a novel or a short story
 
Yeah, I think starting small is a good idea.
WTF? I have no idea where that flag was or why it would be offensive.
 
yeah seriously
 
@kitfox ok, rough draft textsnip.com/997aa6
 
4:03 PM
My arm just fell off.
 
@Gigili duct tapes arm back on
 
@DForck42 Your intro uses "I’d also like to" a lot
 
@DForck42 OK, pretty standard, that's good.
And what MrShiny said.
 
Also unless there are lots of nerds in the audience I'd leave out the word "larp"
 
Also, no one gives a flying crap about how you know Jesse.
How did he meet his bride and how did he introduce you to her?
 
4:04 PM
And if you want to make the fact that Jesse is a nerd into a joke, maybe conjure up an image of him playing with swords in a way that is comical to outsiders.
 
How did you react when he told you he got engaged?
 
You could also tell a story of some kind of funny incident that happened with you and Jesse or Jesse and Jessica. Perhaps to serve as a warning to Jessica.
 
Yes. Good.
The toast is nice, and you could nerd that up to if you like.
 
@KitFox i added a dash of hunger games, i'm not sure anyone will get it
i don't want to go full tilt nerd, most of the crowd won't get much if i do
 
The best man and maid of honour at my wedding put on a skit depicting how I met my wife. But the BM dressed up as my wife and the MoH dressed up as me. it was amusing.
 
4:07 PM
@DForck42 Well, I won't, but that was the kind of thing I was thinking of, so good on you.
 
what's somethign that i oculd replace "I would also like to thank" with?
 
@DForck42 Can you use nerd jokes they might recognize, like a reference from Star Wars or Star Trek? Even if that's not your normal brand of nerd
 
All of the groomsmen and none of the bridesmaids gave toasts at our wedding.
 
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 star trek might work
 
@DForck42 You could just drop the "also."
 
4:09 PM
@DForck42 "I want to", "I'd like to", "We mustn't forget to thank..."
 
"Our gratitude to"
"Let's give such-and-so a hand for"
"I would like to lick the boots of"
 
@kitfox rev 1 textsnip.com/88b68c
i don't want it to be too silly, but i think that should get some people laughing.
 
It is appropriately funny, but again, no one cares about how you know Jesse. They will want to hear your perspective on Jesse and Jessica's relationship.
It's their wedding after all, not a class reunion or a funeral.
What about doing a weekly writing exercise? Flash fiction, poetry, etc, and we share what we've made next week?
@DForck42 I'd keep through {we’ve become pretty good friends.} and then from {I’m glad you both make each other happy} to the end.
 
@KitFox huh?
 
Then insert something about Jesse's reaction to meeting Jessica, your feelings about their relationship, how you knew that Jessica was the one for Jesse when...
@DForck42 From your speech.
 
4:20 PM
Yeah, you need to talk more about Jessica and/or the couple and/or how their relationship has affected Jesse
 
@KitFox that's an area i'd rather avoid.... my feelings on the marriage are... conflicted
and i honestly haven't seen them together much.
 
Well, then you probably oughtn't be best man, but that aside, the story should be about them and not you and Jesse.
You could always be cutting and remark that it must be a good match since you haven't seen Jesse since he met her.
 
@KitFox i dont' want to be derisive
 
Well, then how about something like, "Maybe Jesse will bring Jessica to MidRelm someday, but if he does (addressing Jessica) be sure to bring a [something funny]."
So maybe tell the part about meeting Jesse in the larping group and then this funny thing happened, so if Jessica joins the group she should be sure to bring lots of hairspray (or something related to the funny part of the story).
But so what's the skinny anyway? Is she a crazy bitch? Do you think she conned him into getting married? Are you having an affair with her?
gasp Is she your aunt's love child?
Ohmygod, you're in love with Jesse!
 
...
 
4:28 PM
Well, you said you were conflicted about the wedding. I was just curious.
 
honestly i just don't know much about essica. she shares zero interests with him, and pretty well refuses to embrace the nerd side of his life
 
So she puts out.
 
the most i'd ever heard her talk was at the wedding shower this last saturday
 
Does he have money or something?
 
@KitFox hah, no
he's training to be a lock smith, she's some sort of secretary
 
4:29 PM
Maybe you can make a joke about their differences.
 
So his attraction is solely that he can have sex with her? Oh, that won't end well.
 
at some sort of health clinic
 
She's probably what, early twenties?
 
Or a naughty joke involving a secretary and a locksmith
 
@KitFox honestly, i dont' get their relationship
@KitFox their both around 22-23
but whatever, i already told him my opinion. he's gotta make his own mistakes
 
4:31 PM
Tru dat.
He'll stay married just to spite you if you don't keep your mouth shut about it.
People are funny like that.
 
@KitFox lmao
 
So @MrShiny, what do you think about having little writing exercises to share?
 
@kitfox rev 2, short and seet textsnip.com/00b4ef
 
At my cousin's wedding, like 8 people stood up and said "I never thought you two would get married".....they're divorced now.
 
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 heh
 
4:34 PM
@kit I think it's a good idea in theory
 
@DForck42 Pretty good. Better. Sounds a bit more derisive than I think you want to be.
 
@KitFox hmm. how can i fix that?
 
Maybe just, "I haven't seen Jesse like this in all the time I've known him"?
Or something? Every emotion of course includes the bad stuff, people will get that.
Or if you want to be corny, you could say something like...
"In the time I’ve known Jesse, I've seen him go through just about every emotion there is in the human experience. But I'd never seen him stay awake all night just thinking of somebody until he met Jessica. That’s something only love can achieve."
 
@kitfox rev 3 textsnip.com/584375
 
Which of course could also be because he is tormented by her, but sounds romanticker.
@DForck42 Yes. Good. Go with it.
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 I was thinking something small, just to keep the habit going.
 
4:40 PM
@KitFox cool, thanks
 
@kit I could try, I guess
 
exercize #1: write something
exercize #2: write something else
exercize number 3: write somethign to combine #1 and #2
#4: write something with a time loop that negates 1-3
 
I'm going to stay away from time travel stories. Too messy.
 
heheh
 
Well, maybe a really short one would be OK.
Geez it's hot out here
 
4:50 PM
OK, then for next Tuesday, let's write a paragraph or two. The paragraph(s) should have no dialog, and contain a rusty nail, a tulip, and the word "spangled."
4
The paragraph(s) should have no dialog, and contain a rusty nail, a tulip, and the word "spangled."
How is that?
 
Well, it is pinned now. So spangled it is.
 
That word only exists in the phrase "star-spangled banner"
 
Nuh-uh. Spangled
 
Does not compute. Please insert coin to continue.
 
4:55 PM
You can pick for next week's.
 
And now, because you have been so patient...girls jumping on trampolines:
Thank you for a fun chat event. See you next week. Or right now, because I'm not actually going anywhere.
 
@KitFox A tulip in a small brown vase spangled with gold sticky stars, held in place on a dilapidated window sill with a rusty old nail, bent to keep it from sliding off.
 
Good one. But wait until next week!
 
@KitFox nah
;-)
i'llf orget by then
 
 
1 hour later…
6:20 PM
shh
 
6:40 PM
@KitFox SHH! IT'S A LIBRARY!
 
GOD DAMN IT WILL YOU PLEASE PIPE DOWN!
giggles
 
@KitFox no
 
Oh, OK then.
 
@KitFox :-D
 
7:21 PM
@DForck42 orgets
 
Hey @MetaEd, did you have time to read it yet?
 
I am into it as far as the smurfy ninja.
 
Oh, it just goes downhill from there.
 

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