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12:01 AM
0
Q: How do my wifre and I get her mother to stop buying stuff for us?

KulahanFor years, my mother-in-law has purchased a huge number of holiday gifts for us. This is frustrating because at other points in the year, she'll ask for small loans ($500-$1000 or so) to pay for necessities. The other frustrating part of this is that we don't want the presents. She typically has...

 
 
1 hour later…
1:12 AM
0
Q: How to convince my sister to talk to our family about her plans (or lack of)?

s.anne.wBackground My sister and I (22F, Australian, twins) are both currently in Japan, but both with our own set of circumstances. I've been living in Japan for two years now after getting a job here straight out of university, while my sister has come to Japan last December for what was meant to be a...

 
1:49 AM
[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad keyword with email in answer: Mom accuses dad of cheating by user12810 on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)
[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Manually reported answer: Mom accuses dad of cheating by user12810 on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)
[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad keyword with email in answer, blacklisted user: How do I respond to catching someone in an embarrassing situation? by user12810 on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell)
 
2:52 AM
0
Q: How can I catch a cheating husband

LolaHelp..I have doubts about my relationship with my husband, I think he's cheating on me with another woman. I will like to have access to his social media apps.

 
 
3 hours later…
A J
6:13 AM
Morning all!
 
g'morning :)
 
 
1 hour later…
7:32 AM
morning
 
Morning
 
sitting at work with tonsilitis
how very fun
 
7:55 AM
Why didn't you just stay home sick?
 
@Tinkeringbell bosses look very poorly on that
their attitude is if you don't literally need to be in the hospital you should be working
 
@Magisch Hmmmm.. guess I'm lucky then ;) If you ever have a chance, come to this side of the border to work :P
 
JAD
@Magisch D:
 
official guidance is more then 3 sick days a year is considered unacceptable
legally they'll have to give them to you anyways but they'll find a way to get rid of you if you're sick too much
 
@Magisch that's... Disgusting :( a regular flu can take more than three days...
 
8:05 AM
@Tinkeringbell It's worse because everyone works sick. I got sick because 2 other people in the office also have tonsilitis and my immune system isn't that good to begin with
 
@Magisch yeah, that's one of the nasty side effects. Our office actually encourages working from home when you have a cold, and it's not a problem to take off if it's worse than that....
I just had four sick days with a fever
 
mhm
 
Anyways... Find something with honey or water with a lot of sugar (I know you hate sweet, but it does sooth a sore throat)... And good luck! Hope it gets better soon...
 
I might actually ask a IPS question about that
 
A J
@Magisch what's your job exactly?
 
8:10 AM
Over here, everyone always teases you when you're visibly sick and it goes so far as to be told to snap out of it constantly
annoying and not helpful as it is, I can't afford to burn bridges with these people
@AJ Software Dev / sysadmin stand in
 
Hmmm
Annoying. But better than the hovering some people do I guess.. I might ask a question about that :P
 
A J
@Magisch You get a fix number of sick/casual leaves per year, don't you?
 
Germany theorethically has mandatory unlimited sick days
 
A J
@Magisch paid or unpaid?
 
@AJ paid
 
A J
8:14 AM
there lies this problem. they wouldn't wanna pay when you're sick and are on leave for numerous days. Though no one can work during this period, but that's just not good.
 
They have to pay either way even when I'm in the office, barely above vegetating
 
A J
we get a fix number of sick and casual paid leaves per year. if you don't have any leaves left, then they'd deduct the pay
@Magisch yeah it's true
 
JAD
8:37 AM
@AJ which has the same effect, you coming in anyways, because staying home sick is expensive
so either way you're sitting at work hating your life
 
8:51 AM
1
Q: How do i or my husband tell my mother in law she smells

WendyGShe is fully able bodied and not short of money. She has a hoarding problem, and her house just smells musty. She needs to do more washing basically. The other day she babysat for us we came home at night opened the front door and could smell her smell, it had just filled the house. But i ha...

 
9:23 AM
@AnneDaunted Charcoal is very welcoming, head on over and check it out :D
 
@Magisch but what if you then spread infection. Or do they blame the employee for that too?
 
@RoryAlsop If you get sick it's obviously your fault because {insert name here} hasn't taken a sick day in 20 years so if you can't do it you should just make healthier choices instead
 
@Magisch that's not good
 
@RoryAlsop other gems include "stop being such a wuss it's only manflu" and "if you worked out more you wouldn't be sick so often"
 
@Magisch jeez
 
JAD
9:34 AM
pfft
 
 
1 hour later…
user335708
10:41 AM
@Magisch How about when the HR or boss gets unwell?
 
user335708
Do they come in then?
 
@Rocky_CherryBlast different rules for different hierachies
 
11:29 AM
@Magisch Time to climb the corporate ladder then ;)
 
11:47 AM
:(
@Tinkeringbell I slept normally last night :) it's 6:50 am here and I just woke up ...
I basically slept 15 hours straight ... in hopes of fixing my schedule ...
 
 
1 hour later…
1:07 PM
1
Q: How do I approach telling my date that I won't lend her money?

Bad_BishopI've started dating (i.e. having meals and drinks) with a school friend who I haven't seen in a while. In that time, my life has worked out quite well (home-owner, stable job, good health etc.) whereas hers has not (rented council house, no job, heavy smoker etc.) Just to be clear, I don't begru...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan I'm not saying she's a ....
 
@Magisch I will... ;)
I have seen those up close, when I left retail and got the developer job.
 
No I'm definitely saying that but assuming malice of intent outright is impolite so I'm hedging
 
@Magisch So did I, in the answer ;)
 
@Tinkeringbell same
 
2:14 PM
@Magisch What happened to 'don't write duplicates'? :P
 
truth be told it's not that uncommon. You'd be surprised how friendly people get when you have a stable income
@Tinkeringbell Mine isn't an exact duplicate of yours. I don't think anyways, I haven't read it in entirety. It was posted while I was still writing mine
lemme check
 
@Magisch Nah, leave it, I was just teasing you. Mine is more complete ;)
 
seems like yours was more complete
 
@Magisch I'm fast :P
And I'm breaking promises. I should ask questions, not answer them :/
Yay, my random downvoter is awake too... :/
 
@Tinkeringbell plot twist it's me on seperate identities
I'm nefarious and scheming like that
 
2:26 PM
@Magisch It's time to buy Tim one of those bleeping things for his keys..
I don't think this one is rude enough to warrant a flag/edit, but it's a weird answer I think? Any second opinions that say it is rude? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10558/1599
 
A J
@ExtrovertedMainMan If it's first time and small amount, then ok. If it continues, then maybe she is ........
 
@Tinkeringbell I think it's ok
Hits a bit close to home because i'm like that as well
 
@Magisch why'd you delete your answer calling her a gold-digger. Surely the truth can't hurt that much
 
I don't have a lot of use for my money so I'll often cover for friends and sometimes buy them things - but only for those where I can be sure it's not taken for granted
one of my friends is working minimum wage with a family right now, if everyone didn't chip in from time to time he could do absolutely nothing besides exist - no fun and no recreation possible
 
@Magisch being charitable is a good thing. It's what I miss most about my wealth. Being poor precludes you from paying someone's rent if they're in trouble.
 
2:33 PM
@Magisch Like what? Expecting some financial independence from a date?
I think that's perfectly normal ;)
@IPSCommentBot Sheesh, maybe a closed question indicates you shouldn't answer it?
@Magisch That's different though ;)
BS comment, already addressed in the answer so not suggesting any improvement whatsoever, no longer needed flags for free! : interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10551/…
 
A J
3:11 PM
@Tinkeringbell I almost flagged your comment. :P
 
@AJ feel free :P
 
A J
Lol
 
@Tinkeringbell I don't do dating
 
A J
@Magisch o.O
 
@Magisch okay ;) that's one less problem to worry about then ;)
 
A J
3:17 PM
Me neither
I already have lots of stuff to worry about and don't wanna add more. :P
 
3:45 PM
0
Q: How to persuade a close acquaintance to seek/try out psychotherapy?

sedsiv"Jack" has had a severe personal trauma in the 80ies as a young adult and as a result made a series of very unfortunate experiences with neurologists and psychologists within a confined hospital unit. Since then he vehemently refuses to seek out any professional help with the argument that "psych...

 
4:18 PM
1
Q: How to get to know someone who doesn't use social media frequently?

PythONI am really interested in this guy. I told him I like him and he said he thought I was cute but he was in a mono relationship right now and would still like to talk to me and get to know me. I still want to get to know him and be friends with him, but he takes days to reply or even a week. (usual...

 
 
2 hours later…
Tooth issues suck.
 
agreed
 
My dentist couldn't even find the cause of the searing pain I've been in with an X-ray
so we just guessed which tooth the problem was, and she said, "hey, there's a filling here, maybe we need to replace it" and replaced it, and said, "okay, call us back if that didn't fix the problem, ideally before we leave for the day today"
so now I'm playing the "is this pain from the operation or from the issue it was meant to fix" game
This is not a fun game. I am not winning.
 
If they decide to extract all of your teeth, you will at least still be able to chat here
But I really feel you. Also had my, painful, experiences
@TheTinyMan Tooth in the lower jaw?
 
6:37 PM
@AnneDaunted I've had a few experiences in the past, but none that the dentist couldn't diagnose going in. :-(
@AnneDaunted Upper.
I think it's currently less sharp of a pain, so maybe it's from the operation?
 
Time will tell
 
@AnneDaunted I wish it would use its words more
 
The Awkward Silence?
 
@AnneDaunted Time :-P
 
Have you always been nice to the tooth fairy?
Maybe she's taking revenge now
 
6:48 PM
I'll leave her milk and cookies next time :'(
 
@TheTinyMan are you older than 35?
If you are, you may want to see a cardiologist. Believe it or not, one of the symptoms of heart disease is jaw pain.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Heh. Almost.
Oh, I've been telling people that I'm 33, but I won't be for a couple more weeks.
Been messing up my age math. :-P
 
@TheTinyMan Start with an orthopedist then, you might have TMJ
 
@TheSnarkKnight Maybe. I've had partners with TMJ and it doesn't seem like the same thing there.
 
@TheTinyMan because of the Diabetes, I have to be very careful. A friend of mine died from blood poisoning from a simple oral infection. To say that I've studied it a bit would be an understatement. IF the work with the dentist ends up not panning out, see an orthopedist, if the orthopedist doesn't find anything, then see a cardiologist, just to be safe.
 
6:57 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Got it, will do
 
@TheTinyMan Do you already feel better now?
 
@AnneDaunted Nope. Just called the dentist back, and she's like, "well, try some Ibuprofen, take 3, then call me on Monday if it hasn't cleared up and we'll get you back in."
 
Right before the weekend :-(
 
Yeeeep :-(
And I had a presentation today, that was pushed back to Monday on account of this
 
7:13 PM
@TheTinyMan Aww... Get well soon!
 
@Tinkeringbell I sure hope so
 
7:27 PM
0
Q: How do I tell my date that I am very disappointed at his behaviors

InDalaI have been dating a person for a little over 2 months now, and he asked me out on Valentines day. I was not expecting anything spectacular,but what he did really disappointed me a lot.First of all, he did not get me any roses or chocolate, instead he gave me a tiny cactus with my name spelled wr...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan As someone who really likes going that extra mile for each of his partners: wow, this person is needy!
Sounds like the guy tried and just wasn't experienced enough to be successful...
 
7:43 PM
0
Q: How to ask a close girl friend (that I used to date) out for coffee, after she recently got married and had a baby?

D.HutchinsonOne of my closest girl friends that I dated for a while - and then remained close friends with even after we decided to just be friends - got married over the past two years and also just had a baby. I was invited to neither the wedding nor the baby shower; and I am guessing that her cutting me...

 
8:16 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan I'm wondering if we should get rid of the last paragraph, wondering about whether you should get rid of exes???
 
user15026
8:28 PM
@Tinkeringbell Looks like he had the same idea, that paragraph isn't there anymore
 
@Ash Yeah, I took the initiative, broke the strike and left a comment...
Things were going too slow for my opinion ;)
They also cleared a lot of the comments from underneath their question, without editing the info in, which might get your answer into trouble... lemme fix that :)
 
Oh... I'll fix it...
 
@Catija All yours :)
 
user15026
@Tinkeringbell oh, shoot :/
 
@Ash Catija fixes it ;)
 
user15026
8:32 PM
yay!
 
9:10 PM
0
Q: Should I reply to this email or wait?

Inertial IgnoranceI sent an email to a company, asking if they would be interested in selling a product of mine. The owner replied, saying that he has forward my email to the manager in charge of picking products to sell, and that they would respond to me soon. Question: Should I reply to the owner with a small ...

 

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