@JoshuaAslanSmith more like SOCCER-TES

greatest drop kick philosopher ever

known to settle philosophical debates via soccer matches and soccer matches via philosophical debate

generally reacts poorly to people bringing up Zeno's arrow paradox to question whether the ball was ever truly moving in the first place, insists they still kicked it out.

ultimately this results in a whole lot of philosophical debates and soccer, which is great.

half-time generally tends to take longer than the actual match itself due to debates springing up between the teams.

time-outs have been known to go for even longer than half-time.