Just wanted to say goodbye. I've requested my account be disassociated with parenting.se. This is no longer a community-driven site. I'm only posting here in chat because I like all of you (even you, Rory! It's really not personal), and felt just having my account/rep removed without some sort of explanation would be inappropriate, but I also have no interest in posting a meta "look at me being angry" post

@Beofett I hadn't realised that that would have that effect. This really is a community driven site - in fact this one far more so than many of the other sites I moderate. We ask opinion of community, other mods and CMs all the time.

We try to second guess decisions, and in fact we consult incredibly frequently

Sometimes this means one of us reverses a close (or a reopen) and sometimes it even means arguing with CMs or high rep members of the community

But I fully understand if it is not a site you wish to be associated with any more. A bit sad, but I understand.

@RoryAlsop Actually, no. You cannot say this is a community driven site when you decide to bypass closing a question, without discussion, and then when a user indicates that they disagree, say that you're empowered to make that decision on your own.

The fact that you ask the opinion of community, other mods, and CMs all the time only means that sometimes this is a community driven site.

And I mean when any user (within reasonable limits) disagrees, not just high rep users.

There was no consensus, no discussion, and even discussion after the fact was nixxed.

To clarify, though, my decision to leave is not just about this.

I've found myself disagreeing more and more with a number of moderator actions and decisions, but felt obligated to be supportive, because I know how hard it is to moderate, particularly on a site where there's so little meta activity.

On top of that, I have found myself increasingly frustrated by the lack of change on this site.

I don't believe the site is a failure.

But it is not a success.

Something needs to change in order to make it a success. I don't know what, though. Believe me, I looked. I tried. But I couldn't make it happen, and neither could the other mods at the time.

But frankly, the moderation seems to be on... autopilot. It feels unfair for me to say that, especially to you, because I know how many other sites you have to moderate (and I believe you're not alone here in that)

But this site seems to be stuck. And I find myself taking it personally, which isn't fair, and is really just me being irrationally entitled.

When I start to feel possessive about the site, especially given how little my activity has been the past few years, that's a problem.