Hi @Erica, @anongoodnurse can I ask you a favour please?

@Dom can I help at all?

@Rory I'm not sure? There's a new user who responded to my answer by editing in their response, I've created a room and invited them to chat, but #1 they don't have the required rep without another upvote and #2 I was hoping to modping them to join (not entirely necessary)

I was going to upvote their question to give them enough rep, but I've already downvoted and I can't push through an unnecessary edit on my own just to change my vote

Which q? DO you have a link?

ohh I see you're a mod, there aren't any diamonds showing

link to their edited in response: parenting.stackexchange.com/review/suggested-edits/13099

I have modpinged him, which I think should allow him to enter that chat

What I want to say to them is #1 step-children don't like being given orders (the old "you're not my father, you can't tell me what to do!") #2 A much better tactic would be to say "we need to go inside because if we stay out in the rain we'll get a cold, and that will cause [negative effects x, y and z]" ie. rather than give orders, explain why you're asking them to do something

do you agree or have any thoughts on any of that?

that's assuming when they said "get out of the water" they meant rain, which I also need clarification on

@RoryAlsop great, thanks

@Dom Yeah - my views on kids tend to veer towards the explain, be reasonable, realise sometimes they will argue, fight etc...

exactly, I find that so many parents just take a rigid "do what I say" approach, and I personally think it's plain wrong

@Dom Yup - even with my 3 kids, they are all entirely different to each other so different things work - and we tried to treat them all identically from birth. Kids from other families have so many different guiding factors that there is no single approach that works

it's all learning, negotiating, explaining...

I totally agree, I can only comment from the perspective of having one young child and I'm forever learning, but at the tender ages he has indicated and the circumstances of the relationship he's doing it wrong