The Heap™ – Consultancy ©® - 2015-02-03 (page 1 of 2)

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12:40 AM

Excellent Reddit post by a fellow from Hertfordshire with analogy that matches one of my reasons for hating sports.

1:16 AM

Hi all. I'm puzzled by something. When I log on to DBA.SE, I see I'm a member of a few groups, DBA, Unix and a couple of others. When I log on to StackOverflow (SO) I'm only a member of that group and DBA and my other groups don't appear. I am a member - I've answered and even given a bounty. My question is: How do I do consolidate my groups so that SO appears with the others?

2 hours later…

3:02 AM

@Vérace Don't appear where?

On your Stack Overflow profile, I see accounts on 6 sites. On your dba.SE profile, I see accounts on 6 sites. And on your Stack Exchange profile, I see accounts on 6 sites.

Is it possible that on one of the sites you actually have two different accounts?

Or is it possible that you are only seeing the top 5 accounts (by reputation)?

1 hour later…

4:07 AM

@AaronBertrand Ah, yes, Aaron - it must be only the top 5 by rep that I can see. I gave a bounty on StackOverflow which dropped it out of that list.Thanks for that! Pól...

@Vérace You should see all 6 in the network profile (the 3rd link that Aaron posted above)

@ypercube Yep - and in descending order of rep - all becomes clear - thanks, Pól...

7 hours later…

10:49 AM

dbareactions.com/post/109913051639/…

our beloved prime minister :)

11:02 AM

You must be so proud :-)

@dezso Hungary, right?

@ypercube yes

the home of the hilarity

@dezso I bet he is no match for our previous PM (or two)

11:22 AM

@ypercube I'm not very good at Greek politics

but the new government also looks a bit interesting

Yeah. Definitely a change to what we had, the last 50 years.

11:38 AM

If a closed post is edited, does it pop up in the reopen review queue?

eg this one

@JackDouglas Yes but not immediately.

I don'#t see that on the reopen queue

thanks :)

it's nice to have a stock answer for folk who flag their own question for re-opening

@JackDouglas It's already been voted with "Leave Closed": dba.stackexchange.com/review/reopen/40277

1 hour later…

12:49 PM

morning everyone

morning

morning

mornfternoon

ah, time zones. It was recently announced here that we will be stuck with the summer time for ever

makes sense

you should instead change to different season zones

12:57 PM

@dezso I liked our original time zone, now I'm stuck one hour later

1:11 PM

hi all

hello @JNK

1:58 PM

Yo

Mikael Eriksson

Howdy

2:19 PM

Huh, never heard of R34 before code.google.com/p/csharp-dessist

Good lord some of our DB design decisions are headache inducing

Just discovered a fun circular FK reference

Parent has many Child records, but Parent also contains a RelatedChild nullable FK column that points to a Child record that's the Parent's Parent

2

nice

Do you ever worry that in a former life, you were a major prick? How else can you explain the joyous things you've encountered at work ;)

@JNK there is a (very short) poem from a Hungarian poet, saying 'If it was your daughter who gave birth to you, you are immortal'

@billinkc All the time

2:26 PM

those are probably some immortal rows

I just don't even understand the thought process that goes into this

I discovered yesterday we have a large number of tables (probably 20) that have a PK int column that we are manually maintaining since when they built the table whoever designed it didn't know IDENTITY attributes existed

@billinkc oh, man, your poor next life

2

Dezso, what's the context of your PM in that dbareactions post? Something with the EU, I'm assuming

So we have all these stored procs that get the highest value then increment it by 1

But some of these are busy tables, so now mysterious primary key violation errors I've seen in the logs make SO MUCH MORE SENSE

@Lamak I know, it's going to be so awful for the next me. I like to think of this version of myself as Charles the XV of France: after me, the deluge

2:30 PM

@JNK How can you not know about it and been in charge of design the table?

Apparently in the prehistory of the current design everything was done in Excel

and they ported the excel design to sql

I think the beginning of the DB I'm working on was like 2006 or earlier

@JNK not that long ago

9 years is a pretty long time for a website to be up

yup, I meant about DB technology

considering the likely SQL Server version then was 2000, it's been a whie

2:35 PM

@billinkc on some meeting, he was dragged from the podium by the president of the European Commission (basically the government of the EU)

Juncker is a handshaking pitbull

He just can't let go

At first, I thought this person was using that R34 as a way to get around having to have SQL Server installed, at least from a licensing perspective but they also mention having Agent so ... I have no idea what they're doing

0

Q: SSIS Package when deployed as a scheduled package is not stopping

I have 3 packages out of which 2 are designed by me and 1 was designed by another developer.All the 3 packages have independent functionality. I have deployed all the 3 packages as a scheduled jobs(3 independent scheduled jobs). The packages which i created are working fine as jobs. But the pac...

sql-server tsql ssis sql-agent-job

@JamesLupolt it's said (by whom?) that he is touchier than the average politician

Odds are good they don't have the SP assembly installed on the production box. That or it's a 32/64 bit thing

3:15 PM

@JackDouglas i thought this was a "if a tree falls in the woods" question

@billinkc never tell me the odds

@dezso lol i love it

Ok @swasheck, Punch it!

(trying to figure out how to articulate the chewbacca roar in text)

Good presentation that gives a good overview of which RDBMSes support newer SQL functionality use-the-index-luke.com/blog/2015-02/modern-sql

7

GWAARARARARRARR!

3:26 PM

@swasheck calliespedia.calliesadventures.com/wiki/…

the heap never fails

And failers never heap

> The novelization of Return of the Jedi was one of the few Star Wars books to actually try to write out Chewbacca's speech (as well as that of R2-D2 and the Ewoks). "Rheeaaahhr!", "Groawwwwr!", and "Rowr ahragh awf ahraroww rowh rohngr grgrff rf rf." were typical lines.

I hated the books set in the SW universe that would refer to the droids as seethreepeo and aretoodeetoo or whatever rubbish they used.

user image

3:31 PM

I'm logging into a azure VM just so I can download that stupid slide deck. Thanks Obama

@billinkc R2D2 is commonly called "arturito" here (which is like saying "Little Arthur")

That makes him sound like the smooth pimp he is

@billinkc is your back back yet?

It's better but I haven't done anything strenuous yet. Which is a pity, was psyched for some skiing Friday in Taos before the SQL Saturday in Albuquerque but instead I'll just wander around ABQ itself

@billinkc does mvp status give you any sort of azure benefit?

3:36 PM

Same as having an msdn subscription

can you ski in one of these

user image

@billinkc interesting

@Kermit sure

@billinkc ?

something with the US, I'm assuming :D

People like to attribute all sorts of negative things towards Obama, so I felt like blaming him for my work's choice to block file sharing sites

Lame attempt at humor

@dezso And now you have to explain your comment to another heaper. Thanks Obama!

3:39 PM

Much like the %99.9 repeating of my posts

Now I want to see people in other cultures blame all of their woes on Obama

Great, another incident of ketamine in our baby formula, thanks Obama

I believe cuba and venezuela already do that

Nah, Cuba's working on being our BFF... thanks Obama

Which angers Vuvuzuela, which pleases us so I guess I can't thank Obama for that

yeah, it's complicated. Thanks Obama

@billinkc the sad thing is one can already imagine everything

I mean, things that are real are not necessarily supposed to make sense

@Phil Good find on this slide deck showing the features and their implementations. I like that it shows me how I'd use it versus a legacy query

3:45 PM

@dezso wow, deep

i originally read that as, "wow, derp"

@billinkc shows you exactly how they work too. The recursive CTE explanation is very good

@Phil indeed.

@billinkc other cultures, like Mississippi?

@Kermit I was thinking streptococcus

Holy crap, I spelled that right

3:55 PM

no star for you

oh no

do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the heap?

i feel like chicken tonight

More like those weird little protiens that dance on your eye

floaters? i love them

3:58 PM

you are weird, dude

swirling about, always on the periphery but never able to bring into focus. I look up, up, up trying to keep it in sight until it settles down

detached retinae FTMFW!!!

@billinkc you understandme

@Lamak I know, it's great, isn't it?

am i crazy for wanting to buy a 3 acre lot

4:00 PM

@billinkc yup, I agree

Selling your current house and erecting a new one? Or keeping both?

erecting

@billinkc now you did not spell that correctly

@dezso thanks, ~~obama!~~ dezso

@dezso And that's why I didn't get into medical school. Thanks Obama x2

4:02 PM

medial

@Kermit name your home priapus

2

medieval

whatnot

@dezso he did well in remedial

In retrospect, I'm quite happy I bombed my interview for med school. I suspect I would be far less happy as a doctor than a developer

@swasheck i'm going to get a statue of you erect for my front yard

4:06 PM

@billinkc yeah, and what patient would be ok to go to a doctor with that head shape

@Lamak and who wears a kilt

@Kermit you're going to need a few more acres

@swasheck i don't think you're that big

i need to lose a lot of weight

@swasheck i lost about a pound this morning. and it only took me 2 minutes!

4:08 PM

This question needs a Heap DDOA™© (Distributed Denial Of Answer)

-2

Q: server/client connection

I have server using sql server2008 /vb.net and and 5 client in the same network.the issue some times the network drop down between server and client. the question : how can I make the client run the application and save the data, and send the data to server after the connection is back. thanks

@Kermit i normally get about 3 lbs out of that

@Phil VtC ... VB.NET

@swasheck i'm not a plumber, but i think you need to cut down the portion sizes

/me slowly retreats

@Kermit i actually eat normal portions. most of it is roughage, though.

@dezso wimp

@swasheck roughage?

user image

4:11 PM

I need to lose a stone. I'm not visibly fat/lardy though

@Kermit that's what i use to wipe

Best edit ever: dba.stackexchange.com/review/suggested-edits/40477

ok. i'm done

@a_horse_with_no_name nice one

omfg.

0

Q: Wrapping code in function is causing a huge delay

I have the following function: CREATE FUNCTION [dbo].[FunctionScore] ( @Param1 ... ,@ParamN ) RETURNS TABLE RETURN ( SELECT T1.[Col001] ,SUM(ISNULL(F1.[Pts], T2.[Pts])) AS [Pts] ,SUM(ISNULL(F1.[PtsOf], T2.[PtsOf])) AS [PtsOf] FROM [dbo].[Table01] T1 ...

sql-server-2012 functions

@MikeFal let me know when you get here

4:20 PM

Ok, time to work

@swasheck painful

close to nature

@swasheck they should make diapers out of those

@billinkc this early?

RolandoMySQLDBA

4:35 PM

Stopped in to say hi to all !!!

Hey @RolandoMySQLDBA how's it hanging?

RolandoMySQLDBA

OK, and yourself ?

Everything is awesome when you're part of The Heap

(Damn that Lego movie)

RolandoMySQLDBA

My kids saw it. They want me to see it. Gotta rent it soon

@Phil Side question: Know any good Oracle DBAs in the US ? My company is looking for one.

OK but choosing a primary key has nothing to do with normalization. — ypercube 3 mins ago

I thought he was not explaining himself right but he insists.

4:39 PM

@swasheck Yo

RolandoMySQLDBA

Gotta run. Cheers !!!

@MikeFal did you get a non-eventbrite sql lunch email?

Nope, but I might have that blocked

no. it's just not getting sent, for some reason.

@RolandoMySQLDBA Don't run too fast. i heard you have snow on the roads ;)

4:43 PM

@swasheck We can look at it if you want today.

ok

4:55 PM

Oh, he has it all wrong: dba.stackexchange.com/questions/67908/…

@RolandoMySQLDBA I do, but he's just moved jobs so probably won't be interested

@ypercube times like this we need a word for "worse than terribad"

writing my intro to SQL Course and it's either going to go extremely well or be a fucking nightmare. Can't wait to find out which!

5:27 PM

How to get an admin account on any Windows 7/8 computer m.imgur.com/gallery/H8obU

5:42 PM

@Phil ugh

MEMORIZED!

that bl0x0rs my s0x0rz

6:28 PM

Funny

You could probably do that with a few different executables. I guess using sethc.exe is just a more amusing example

@JamesLupolt its handy because you don't ever have to login to the machine

@MaxVernon Yep, it's a really elegant and funny way to get in

and unless you invoke the accessibility stuff with shift shift shift shift shift you'll never know your machine has been subverted.

I'm mildly surprised it still works. It's been that way for years

although I would guess the sfc would find it.

6:33 PM

@MaxVernon That's something I wondered about... the files still have valid signatures, just the file names have changed, so does SFC detect it?

very good question. I think (would hope?) SFC would use a database of names, and check signatures against the list, but who knows.

I'm surprised the executable doesn't have a known signature & replacing it with another actually works...

7:03 PM

Yes! A Coworker has taken my advice and guided himself to a better execution plan!

It can be done!

hooray

7:23 PM

bbc.com/news/health-31069173

What a time to be alive.

what's that movie

where you custom chose your child

about some guy that wants to go to space

gattica ?

ah imdb.com/media/rm1006476800/tt0119177?ref_=tt_ov_i

Gattaca yeah

That movie was awesome

Did I ever tell you about my son?

You need to be more specific

My favorite part of the movie

imdb.com/title/tt0119177/quotes?item=qt0552770

7:29 PM

Open Sores github.com/dotnet/coreclr

@billinkc oh man I forgot that scene

I always liked the "I never saved anything for the swim back" part

That too

how did the movie end? he just goes swimming and never comes back?

@Kermit yeah

so moving

7:33 PM

I don't wanna spoil it

nevermind Bill did

I did nothing

I mean it is like 17 years old

There's gotta be an expiration date on spoilers

Hello dear child, let me introduce you to Star Wars. See that guy, he's actually that guy's father. You'll love it

Relevant.

My kid knows that now too

7:36 PM

penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/12/05

I let him watch Star Wars way too young

like he was talking about Starf Mader a lot

Sounds like you're doing your job right.

Star Wars is rubbish

It's not for everyone!

Of all the slight differences between the American English and the English form of English. This one is the only thing that bugs me.

7:40 PM

My kid liked the prequels best too which was really painful for me until I realized 4 year olds are the target demo for those films

"I went on to study maths"

@Zane Rubbish?

oh

@JNK The hell it isn't.

Mathematics seems to imply plural

I hate that a biscuit is a cookie

Have you been burned by a bad biscuit?

7:41 PM

Poor sod ordered some fries and got chippies

Lorry kills me too

A lorry knckered my rubbish bin yesterday, wankers

Cockney rhyming slang is funny too

See this right here is exactly why I don't get this.

"despite their achievements in maths and science at school."

Why is it Maths?!

Come forward English members of DBA and help me out with this one.

When Webster was creating his dictionary, he wanted to save some ink and wrote it as Math

7:46 PM

@Zane b/c it's short for Mathematics

It's also why we don't have the U in honour, colour, etc

@billinkc laziness?

Yeah but when you shorten something you don't keep a letter at the end.

@Lamak efficiency!

Only partially trolling, I know that there was some reason he dropped the u for dictionaries in the US but I couldn't remember it

Decided to extend that story to cover math/maths and see if anyone called my bluff

7:48 PM

@billinkc it was supposed to be a bluff?, I thought that it's a given that you don't have that kind of knowledge ;-)

damnit, I got nothing

Putting on my AB hat: why are people making up syntax and wondering why it doesn't work?

0

Q: SSIS Execute SQL Task error: Multiple-step OLE DB operation generated errors -- probably due to parameter mapping

I am working in SQL Server 2008 and BIDS (SSIS). I am trying to generate a "load ID" for when a package is executed and store that ID in a load history table (which then populates subsequent tables). My basic SSIS control flow is the following: Execute SQL Task, Data Flow Task The load table i...

The word wanker needs to be more popular in Americaland

Are there any anti-vaxxers in here?

I think those don't exist outside the US

another reason why the US is the greatest country on earth

7:52 PM

I so love the UK usage of the C word

you can deny science

@Kermit are you antivax?

@swasheck i'm anti antivaxxers

@swasheck there's absolutely 0 chance of that

@Kermit me too.

7:55 PM

@swasheck i'm happy to hear

in case my kids ever come in contact with your kids

@bill The C word is still mostly frowned upon, but does appear to be in more regular use than it once was

we've had to separate ourselves from some couples who were anti-vax

@Kermit don't blame you

@Kermit it baffles me that these people are so ignorant. EHRMAGERD!!! DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE INJECTING ______ INTO YOUR KIDS?

I've come close to fights with relatives about it

7:57 PM

@Zane Because they wanted to complicate things (but only in this case).

we're dealing with the couples that are "spacing" them apart

I had one comment on how it's all the immigrants

@JNK funny, cause the immigrants actually have better immune systems

Despite the fact that pretty much every other country we get immigrants from has higher vaccination rates than we do

"did you fail common sense in high school, or do you tell your friends that they should not eat tomatoes since they're related to tobacco?"

7:57 PM

b/c they all have single payer healthcare

@Kermit do they really exist like...in the wild?. That's so baffling

There was an anti vaccination incident here years ago, and it has caused isolated problems. Flawed research and too much crappy press reporting caused it

@Lamak in suburbs

Yeah. "Theres formaldehyde in vaccines!"

There's 100x more formaldehyde in a pear than in a vaccine dose

don't let your kids eat fruit, just in case!

I like the concept of renaming measles Jenny McCarthy

7:59 PM

MMR vaccine controversy

The MMR vaccine controversy centers on the 1998 publication of a fraudulent research paper in the medical journal The Lancet that lent support to the later discredited claim that colitis and autism spectrum disorders are linked to the combined measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. The media have been criticized for their naïve reporting and for lending undue credibility to the architect of the fraud, Andrew Wakefield. Investigations by Sunday Times journalist Brian Deer reported that Andrew Wakefield, the author of the original research paper, had multiple undeclared conflicts of interest,...

@Phil one things you guys seem to deal with more is stuff like Homeopathy

@JNK yep. do you grown your own produce, because the crap that you get in your tough-skinned produce is more toxic than a vaccination.

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