@Bubbler Alice does that except it depends on whether the IP is moving orthogonally or diagonally.

Yeah, the inspiration did come from Alice

I ran across Gray Snail earlier today on Esolangs. It's a tarpit where the main command is to pop the first character from a string, assign it to one variable, and assign the rest of the string to another variable. That, plus gotos that test string equality, is enough to make it Turing-complete.

@Bubbler Oh, I think I may have misread this. Did you mean there is just one command that does two different things, and all the other commands behave consistently?

No, you got it right. Though you can surely have some commands that do one thing in both directions

Ah, okay. It just occurred to me that all the commands being consistent except one would indeed be "slightly cursed."