The Awkward Silence

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4:42 AM

Q: How to help a close friend seek help with possible early onset dementia

I have a close friend who is genetically predisposed to early-onset dementia. My friend is relatively young (mid-30s), but has been having concerning unexplained behavioral shifts, such as: Forgetting basic things mid-conversation. (We'll be talking about something, and then my friend will sec...

2 hours later…

Tinkeringbell

6:16 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Good luck with that one. In my experience, there's no way to deal with demented arseholes.

CaldeiraG

7:01 AM

yea

morning

Tinkeringbell

Morning.

Did I mention I hate people that work at midnight? Coworker decided that was a good time to make some changes yesterday, and deployed them all the way to production. Now, everything is on fire because there's a very, very serious bug in a part that he shouldn't even have changed :|

Journeyman Geek

lol

Other than me ._.

I work at midnight, and I hate it too :D

Tinkeringbell

I should probably have said I hate work-a-holics :P People that work regular midnight shifts are okay-ish.

This coworker though... Told him so many times he shouldn't be working outside of office hours and he's still doing it....

1 hour later…

CaldeiraG

8:38 AM

@Tinkeringbell :/

Tinkeringbell

8:57 AM

It's fixed now... hopefully. All that's left to do is cleaning up the rubble.

Journeyman Geek

don't forget to git blame appropriately!

Tinkeringbell

9:41 AM

I wish...

It was FME, it's not in git.

2 hours later…

M.A.R.

11:13 AM

@lila Oh I have some of my own anecdotes. I kinda grew up in a pharmacy

2 hours later…

Sarov

1:18 PM

@Tinkeringbell At my work you can't merge a pull request without it first being approved by someone else. So let alone production, it can't even get to the develop branch without being seen by a second pair of eyes.

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov Yeah, for our code this is actually the same. But this was a different system, it's FME... I'm not sure, but apparently that can't go in git?

Sarov

Not familiar with FME, but that would be strange. Anything that can fit in a file system can fit in git. And with some thinking, even things that don't - I even wrote a console job to read the database's metadata, dump it into .sql files, and push it to a git repo.

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov docs.safe.com/fme/html/FME_Server_Documentation/WebUI/… It has some version control, but from what I can see it's very rudimentary. You can use git as backups, but there's no way to work with e.g. branches from what I can see. I'm not familiar with that part of the code either, we have dedicated developers for it.

Sarov

1:33 PM

Ew. I never trust anything that lets you 'write code' but can't follow a gitflow.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha well, I bet most people would agree with that. But big company, some legacies, etc...

Sarov

This includes not trusting myself right now as I circumvent our processes and manually deploy via FTP because there's a problem with our deployment software and IT hasn't fixed it yet.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha XD

Sarov

1:48 PM

You remember me mentioning a bit ago how I dislike how accepted Answers are always at the top?
This: https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/23993/how-can-i-explain-a-problem-without-finger-pointing

"Teach your SO how to apologize" should not be above "don't focus on blame".

IPS Comment Bot

I think the title of your question requires an edition. It looks like a meta question right now. — aminabzz 52 secs ago

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov I like neither answer, both lack backup.

I don't know what happened there, but there must've been a serious lapse in attention from the community and mods :/

Sarov

Fair. I don't have a strong opinion on the second Answer, though, whereas for the first... Trying to 'improve' someone else when that person hasn't asked for assistance doing so is a bad time.

I know this from experience on both ends.

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov Depends a bit. I'd be way more annoyed if someone was trying to gently manipulate me into changing a habit, instead of just confronting. Because if people just confront, that means you can be honest back at them. Before you figure out the manipulation, it's either too late or people will deny they were doing it.

Sarov

One is definitely better, but there's still the aspect of "It's not your job to 'fix' me!". Talking about one's own needs is one thing, but "You need to get better at apologizing for your own good, so I'm going to make you" is another.

Tinkeringbell

2:05 PM

Yes... but in essence, talking about your own needs to achieve better apologizing or a behavioral change in others... that's still an attempt to 'make you', just a different one ;)

If you look at it very pessimistically, any interpersonal skill is no more than a manipulation technique.

And we whitewash that by putting ethical and moral labels on those techniques and the goals they serve, and say 'this is good, it's an interpersonal skill' and 'this is bad, this is manipulation'.... while both are often the same XD

Sarov

Hmm. Interesting perspective.

Kinda sounds like the monologue of a villain :P. "We're not so different, you and I."

Tinkeringbell

'shower thought'

@Sarov Well, we're not :P Depends on what you consider differences, and how much differnece is needed to be more than a little different :P

On the internet, we're both just accounts using this site to chat. That's the same.

Sarov

No, no, I'm using this to manip - I MEAN YES CHAT YES.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha see :P

1 hour later…

lila

3:28 PM

@M.A.R. please tell me more tell me more

1 hour later…

Tinkeringbell

4:51 PM

@Sarov Well, talking about pinned accepted answers: meta.stackoverflow.com/q/406675/6380541 ... if you hadn't seen that yet, I don't know how much you hang around MSO :)

M.A.R.

@lila Well, hmm . . . There's this immune-system boosting syrup whose trademark name is Osteocare. We had an intern who couldn't stop calling it Ostrocare, except "Ostr" means "fart" in Turkish

Sarov

Yeah I only visited Meta during the Monica thing,

lila

@M.A.R. Haha okay :D I also have one more: in Poland the earplugs in pharmacy are officially named "stoppers", it comes from their action of stopping the noise. One person asks pharmacist "Stoperan for ears please" (Stoperan is anti-diarrhea drug) :D

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov Ah, that should've given you enough to last a lifetime, yeah.

Sarov

5:36 PM

@lila I'm amused by Sriracha hot sauce, given that, as I'm told, "Srachka" in Ukrainian means diarrhea.

Tinkeringbell

For words in that category, I like the word 'die'. Just means 'that' in Dutch, but to someone that doesn't know the language, the following looks very, very weird:

lila

6:25 PM

@Sarov Haha in Polish it is "sraczka", almost the same, phonetically exactly the same :D

@Tinkeringbell Oh the first impression is so horrific for me :o

Tinkeringbell

@lila Yeah, that marketing got a bit of internet fame for that :D

2 hours later…

Extroverted Main Man

8:26 PM

Q: How to know if my best friend catching feelings or we just friends?

So we were on a trip with other friends, and one night we were all watching movie. We both fell asleep next to one another in the middle of our movie. So I’m a light sleeper and Next thing I know, he is again and again pushing away my hairs from my face and touching my face gently in a loving way...